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tazzygirl -> RE: why is it hard to find a GREAT SLAVE?? (10/15/2009 2:05:07 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: geomease
I was getting to know this one dom, we chatted for a bit, got to know one another, she seemed nice enough, albeit a little bit repetitive in her way of speaking and referring to me. After a short awhile she sent me a copy of a slave contract, it looked like it was quite binding, obviously either she or someone she knew who had written it did their research. In it it detailed that for a period of one year I would for the most part give up all rights, that she would have fully control over every aspect of my life including her choice of any body modifications she saw fit and that for a period of one year I could do nothing but have absolute compliance. I told her that it seemed a little bit extreme, especially the mod modification part (I don't think I'd want any perminant piercings or tatto's, especially if I wouldn't even get to decide on them) when I told her that there were numerous issues I had with it she seemed to get upset assuming I was acting selfish for not accepting her generous offer. So because I was not willing to subjugate myself to a binding 1 year agreement would that technically make me a bad slave? Is this something that is commonly signed in the sub/dom community and I just didn't know it? Sorry if this detracts from the topic a bit, if need be you can delete this post and I'll make it a seperate topic. It's just that with 2 topics about slaves so close to one another int he same thread I didn't feel it was necessary to create a third one.
hi geomease
i, personally, dont believe in contracts. they arent legal, and are only binding as long as the parties wish them to be. they also, for some, give one party a false sense of security to try and manipulate the other into doing just about anything.
any relationship, especially a M/s one, is based upon trust, communication and getting to know one another on deep levels. i have only begged one collar quickly... and as much as we adored each other, it turned out to be a huge mistake. we just were not compatable on the levels that we needed to be.
its been my history since then that i wait a year after getting into that deep phase of the relationship, regardless of how much i want to beg that collar.. and how much he may want to give it... that year typically will tell the story. but, we are all different, and i know many who begged immediately and it worked out.
its whatever works for you. whatever makes you feel secure. and that IS the Dominants job... security on the levels that matter to you. if they cant instill that... if they pout and get angry because you raised an understandable objection... and body modification certainly is one... then is that the Dom you wish to have complete control over your life?
Contracts can be signed... then broken. Not much different than a marriage license. What makes it work is the willingness of both parties to talk.. talk... talk... and actually listen.
Doesnt sound like the one you were talking too wanted to listen all that well.
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