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ol, you aren't ths non-shallow person as steel identifies it as --- you are simply less selective in who you choose to take time to get ti know.

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ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Umm zephyr is it now? first of all STEEL ASKED me for my PERSONAL views so i gave them. If you have an issue with that speak to him. Secondly, your attempt to make this about me is pathetic --- go back and read what i have said. STEEL decided to ask for personal ideas. Secondly, you are lying if you sit here all sanctimoniusly and believe you don't judge people. based on looks, maybe you are more accepting in what physically attracts you but that doesn't make people who aren't shallow. HELL, one of my biggest issues with MEN is MY OWN EXPECTATIONS OF MYSELF wherein if they find me attractive when i am out of shape and overweight, i don't respect them for it. So this isn't a concept of i have altering expectations of myself that i do of others.

lol, you aren't ths non-shallow person as steel identifies it as --- you are simply less selective in who you choose to take time to get ti know. Whereas some people are MORE selective. But in the end, everyone is selective based upon appearance. So sorry to knock you off your look at me i am such a good person pedastal you put yourself on in order to try and make me look bad, but in the end EVERYONE is selective.

Some people are less or more than others. WHICH all this does is maximize or minimize the playing field accordingly you have to work with. You have a larger playing field due to you choose to take time for relationship seeking even if someone turns you off appearance wise, i have a smaller one due to i don't take time for relationship seeking and am perfectly content with that.

Its always so interesting when people want to make people BAD people lol in discussions like these.

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And for the record I am speaking to the responders and not "him"....lol

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ORIGINAL: porcelaine

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ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

Granted there is a segment of the population that are obese because they failed to learn proper eating habits and portion control in the amount of food they consume. The fact is some are predisposed to being overweight, some have weigh issues related to medication for certain medical conditions, some people are addicted to food.

if i didn't know better i'd assume you expect the person to overlook what may be physically appealing to him in deference to the other factors cited. it will never occur unless his desire for her exceeds the importance that he places upon the preference/factor or whatever we're calling it now.

although now my curiosity is piqued. what other deal breakers would be considered shallow in the selection process?

porcelaine

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It is suprising how BEAUTIFUL someone who isn't PRETTY can become when you get to know them as a PERSON.

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ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

Sorry though I don't believe that is what I was saying. Over issues such as weigh, smoking, alcohol and such, I do not expect a person to ignore what they believe is physically appealing; I just hope their basis of what they find appealing and what they don't are based upon sincere and honest opinions and not based upon a false sense of what is thought of being okay and what isn't.

What I personally find are deal breakers are aspects to a person's personality which are not reasonably compatible with my own. I also want to state that I have never in this thread made use of the term 'shallow' whatsoever.

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ORIGINAL: barelynangel

shakes my head Steel, all you are doing is giving YOUR opinion of how people should choose a mate. and what you are saying is YOUR OPINION is what makes it shallow or not for EVERYONE. Sorry, its not. Your own arrogance in believing you should set the standard of what everyone should consider in finding a mate or Dom or sub. Sorry but all you have are YOUR opinions. Just because i don't find you attractive for a Dom for ME because yes MY NEEDS, and yeah being 40 years old almost, i kinda know what those are and what does and doesn't turn me off in a Man especially one who wants to be my Master.

If you HONESTLY cannot see how a person's appearance could effect a WHOLE PERCEPTION OF A PERSON wherein NEEDS ARE NOT being met, and want to hold on to its shallow, then you are too tunnelvisioned to remotely see beyond your own DETERMINATIONS FOR WHY YOU CHOOSE PEOPLE FOR A RELATIONSHIP. And are trying to say no one else can have their own or they are WRONG, because of how it effects you personally.

You asked for needs i told you -- now you are trying to tell me that what i stated AREN'T NEEDS. What the hell Steel, who are YOU to determine what NEEDS of people are or should be based on your own prejudice?

angel

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Here's a thought angel. SOME of us look past the exterior and get to know the person before judging, it isn't being PC we just prefer to judge someone by who and what they are rather than just on what they look like. Steel is right, that you don't means that you are indeed shallow. That you don't like relationships with fat people is fine, honestly I don't care what your preferences are, just don't say you aren't shallow when you judge based on what you see.

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ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Wolf2Bear, you have a good idea there but if people are predisposed to being overweight based on genes and such -- how come the obesity concept has become an issue in only this generation and last? Some could say research abilities but i don't believe it. How come other countries haven't had such an issue before this day and age. I don't disagree some of it may be genetic but evolution takes a LONG time to create the concept of genes. So what did those before us who had this gene defy the gene?

I agree there is such a thing but its not overcomeable as past history has shown, the majority of people in the world have only recently become overweight and obese.

So there must be a way to defy the gene, what changed? Convenience of our society, choices of ease instead of working harder, etc. I am not saying this is BAD lazy, i am saying though compared to past history, our society has become a majorly lazy society one that demands convenience and ease and quick.

Also i DO agree that there are few people who have issues that even choices won't help, but not 60% of Americans hell i wouldn't even say 10%.

angel