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RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 11:51:12 AM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I want a woman who sees herself in a relationship where obedience is expected and given, nothing being perfect that is the ideal to strive for.

I fully expect difficulties to arise and they will have to be delt with.

To her folding socks or engaging in the most perverse sexual act one can imagine and suffering pain that pleases me are of equal importance, they are the service asked of her.

She doesn’t have to enjoy, just serve and endure.

All this doesn’t mean there isn’t anything for her for surely there is.

The perverse things I want will not occupy all her time so there will be plenty of time for her care and maintenance.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 12:09:34 PM   
cillydom


Posts: 332
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		I want a woman who sees herself in a relationship where obedience is expected and given, nothing being perfect that is the ideal to strive for.

I fully expect difficulties to arise and they will have to be delt with.

To her folding socks or engaging in the most perverse sexual act one can imagine and suffering pain that pleases me are of equal importance, they are both the service asked of her and she obeys.

She doesn’t have to enjoy, just serve and endure.

All this doesn’t mean there isn’t anything for her for surely there is.

The perverse things I want will not occupy all her time so there will be plenty of time for her care and maintenance.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 12:27:35 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

it's that the terms submissive and slave have become so meaningless.

i think we can all agree what obedience is. you either are obedient or your not.

i'll let others debate the finer differences between sub/slave


After I fell out of my chair laughing at the notion that "we can all agree what obedience is".....

The terms "submissive", "slave", "wife" and "husband" have radically different meanings for different people. There are as many types of relationship dynamics as there are relationships.

What I want in a submissive is very different from what many others want (I know, I have had several tell me their desires are not a fit for mine).
But rather than getting tangled up a long circular debate on terminology, semantics, etymology and semiotics, including long sidetracks into the Indo-Latinate roots of "esclave", I find it more productive to simply move on and speak to someone else. This is why we have profiles, where we can talk a bit about who we are, and what we are looking for.

Otherwise we end talking in kinky personal-ad jargon:

"SWM Poly-oriented Dom with Leather tendency seeking Brazilian waxed bifem subslut latex fetishist bedroom bottom with expert snakewhip skills, open to pain play, and toilet service; NO humiliation SAM switch types with Mommy-punishment dynamic, Please!

p.s. No Fat Chicks"

Coin a precise term for that one, and maybe you can pick up some NZ points.

(in reply to cillydom)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 1:14:51 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wolf2Bear

Yet it can also be said that a person who identifies as a slave will display attributes of qualities which we associate to one who identifies as a submissive; thus the reverse is also true. In the grand scheme of thinks, I see the qualities to what is a slave and what is a sub to be too alike to be able to differentiate. Both are engaging in a form of power play with a dominant person, it's not so much the defining qualities which separate one from the other, it's the mindset the person has and develops which gives them a sense defining themself as a slave or a submissive.


i disagree. i want to live in a specific manner with a certain level of surrender and servitude that may be grossly inappropriate for someone else. i am not a submissive, but i may have traits that those who identify as such do possess. i am property. i will allow you to draw your own conclusions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

i dont plan on marketing it

and everyone is free to define them selves as they see fit, as i have to right to define what i want

it's democracy in action


which should be interesting considering your previous thread where you indicated that you were allowing people to contact you instead. based on your success levels as indicated, i questioned how this would be marketed. it would seem you'd have to alter the behavior you spoke of before. i'm willing to guess a prospective girl will want you to explain what you define as an obedient.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

The terms "submissive", "slave", "wife" and "husband" have radically different meanings for different people. There are as many types of relationship dynamics as there are relationships.


indeed they do. good luck on your search.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 1:17:25 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		aka cillydom


Main Entry: obe·di·ence
Pronunciation: \o-'be-de-?n(t)s, ?-\
Function: noun
Date: 13th century
1 a : an act or instance of obeying b : the quality or state of being obedient
2 : a sphere of jurisdiction; especially : an ecclesiastical or sometimes secular dominion

noun
1. the state or quality of being obedient.
2. the act or practice of obeying; dutiful or submissive compliance: Military service demands obedience from its members.
3. a sphere of authority or jurisdiction, esp. ecclesiastical.
4. Chiefly Ecclesiastical.
a. conformity to a monastic rule or the authority of a religious superior, esp. on the part of one who has vowed such conformance.
b. the rule or authority that exacts such conformance.



Introduction
The sport of obedience has been around since the 1933 when the first obedience trail was held at Mt. Kisco, New York. The following year, North Westchester Kennel Club and Somerset Hills Kennel Club held obedience tests at their all-breed conformation shows.

Obedience trials grew from the efforts of early trainers to popularize their chosen profession and to prove that dog-human partnerships could shine in arenas other than the conformation ring and the field. The American Kennel Club version of the sport is now promoted and practiced by hundreds of obedience clubs, kennel clubs, and specialty clubs throughout the US.

Today’s obedience competitions begin with exercises that attest to the dog’s good manners – walking on a leash at the owner’s side, standing to be touched by a stranger, sitting and lying down with distractions, and coming when called. Advanced classes prove the owner’s ability to train the dog to do a variety of ‘tricks’: fetching a dumbbell, jumping different obstacles, obeying commands in an instant whether given by hand signal or voice, and finding items touched by the owner. The goal is to create a working team, a partnership with both human and canine working in sync.

Most dog shows these days include obedience classes. There’s no play-by-play announcer at ringside, so Dog Owner’s Guide offers this brief explanation of what you’ll see if you attend a show. Be sure to check out the calendar for shows in the area so you can put your newly gained understanding into practice.

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 1:23:13 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Porcelaine your stress on self identification at the beginning of the relationship negates those of us who wanted a healthy relationship which was allowed to grow organically. There was no way I would have given him total control, total obedience or total anything else at the beginning. He didn't even venture into finances until after we'd been living together for two years which followed the two years LDR. And at that point it was just thoughts and advice. I'm not sure he has total control now.

What I do know is that as the relationship goes on, and my needs are met more and more, and as he's proven himself awesomely competent more and more, I've been happy to give over control of more and more. Not because I have a drive to be a powerless naked slave, but because he is that trustworthy.

I wouldn't have given over this much control to anyone first thing. Anyone who wants a total slave needs to show total competence in my book and you can't learn that all in one go.

If this relationship ends, I won't seek someone else to give control to. I'll go back to looking for kinky sex with a man I can like and respect. And if it grows into more, as this did, great. If it doesn't, also great. It isn't the role for me, it's the person.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 2:53:39 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz


quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

I’m not seeking a submissive and I’m not seeking a slave, I am seeking an obedient.


How can you use a comparative adjective to define someone?
Thats like saying 'would you like a naughty or an obedient?'
My answer would be 'A naughty or obedient what?'




Ya know, this same thought runs through my head every time I hear the words "dominant" and "submissive".   

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 3:17:29 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz


quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

I’m not seeking a submissive and I’m not seeking a slave, I am seeking an obedient.


How can you use a comparative adjective to define someone?
Thats like saying 'would you like a naughty or an obedient?'
My answer would be 'A naughty or obedient what?'




I'd be willing to bet that whatever He wants, if it/she/he is naughty and obedient, that would be even nicer. lmao

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to allthatjaz)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 3:28:31 PM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydomless.

i think we can all agree what obedience is. you either are obedient or your not.


I assume you abide the laws of your country.  Doesn't that make you an obedient?

(in reply to cillydom)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 3:29:50 PM   
windchymes


Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline 		An abidient?

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to Viridana)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 4:09:46 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		How about just looking for someone that meets your requirements?

Is there some reason you need to have a title for them??

Again, not rocket science and not any different from the rest of the world...talk to women, meet them, go on dates with them, continue to get to know them. If she meets your needs then continue to see her. If not then move on and find someone who does.

<thinks some people make this a lot more complicated than it is.>

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 4:26:28 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cillydom

it's that the terms submissive and slave have become so meaningless.

i think we can all agree what obedience is. you either are obedient or your not.

i'll let others debate the finer differences between sub/slave


Really? Well then I'm confused because you certainly have no problems using the term submisssive to define what you are looking for in your journal....


_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to cillydom)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 4:36:16 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Porcelaine your stress on self identification at the beginning of the relationship negates those of us who wanted a healthy relationship which was allowed to grow organically


my reference to my station doesn't negate anyone's identity. it is how i choose to identify myself. those who prefer other methods are well within their right to state them. since the op is already customizing terminology, i presented an honest question to decipher if he'd accounted for that aspect in the selection process.

quote:

There was no way I would have given him total control, total obedience or total anything else at the beginning. He didn't even venture into finances until after we'd been living together for two years which followed the two years LDR. And at that point it was just thoughts and advice. I'm not sure he has total control now.


again this works well for you. my choice in lifestyle does not oppose yours or view it in a negative context either. we merely have different ways of relating. what is more important is that we're involved in growth enhancing partnerships.

quote:

I wouldn't have given over this much control to anyone first thing. Anyone who wants a total slave needs to show total competence in my book and you can't learn that all in one go.


perhaps having those things in place is a necessity for you. however, for what i seek and the kind of men i communicate with, we desire something different which permits us to exchange in a manner that suits our needs. wagering or haggling in this way would be unacceptable for me. i elect to live as property and find comfort in doing so.

quote:

It isn't the role for me, it's the person.


my slavery is a part of me and will always exist whether i am owned or unowned. it is my zen and a vocation i pursue with heartfelt abandon. for me the challenges are well worth the things i have gained. returning to what was is no longer an option. this is who i am.

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 4:38:07 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		words/lables are how we define things and comunicate

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 4:39:05 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Really? Well then I'm confused because you certainly have no problems using the term submisssive to define what you are looking for in your journal....


you have a great eye for detail. you're such a sleuth!

porcelaine




_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 4:40:24 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Really? Well then I'm confused because you certainly have no problems using the term submisssive to define what you are looking for in your journal....


you have a great eye for detail. you're such a sleuth!

porcelaine





Teehee looking at the profile always comes up with the good stuff in cases like these


_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 4:48:20 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		my journal was written some time ago

this is a recent thought

and it seems that with everybody using their own deffinition for submissive i wanted a way to be specific and provoke discussion

< Message edited by osf -- 10/19/2009 4:49:53 PM >

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 5:07:26 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Teehee looking at the profile always comes up with the good stuff in cases like these


you are on the case! *proud smile*

porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 5:19:48 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Teehee looking at the profile always comes up with the good stuff in cases like these


you are on the case! *proud smile*

porcelaine



In this case I goofted...the journal entry is from 2007. Some time between then and now he started feeling the need for a term all his own....which remains undefined.

ETA: OP I just had a thought. Since here on CM there is no option for "obedient" how are you going to search for what you want?


< Message edited by zephyroftheNorth -- 10/19/2009 5:21:33 PM >

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Coining new phrase about what I want - 10/19/2009 5:28:00 PM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		obedience is undefined?

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)
Profile   Post #: 40
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