CreativeDominant
Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TwistedHeart74
I'm not sure if this is where this goes, but here goes.
If you had a friend who was a masochist and they came to you and said "I just need to play, I need to get pain, I need a scene" or anything along those lines...would you do it? Would it in any way cause a conflict to your friendship?
*This is if you knew them and had maybe played with them in the past or were comfortable playing with them*
For me, a lot would depend on just what is involved. When my last submissive and I split, I remained single for purposes of self-exploration. Though I've begun to explore again this last year, one of the things that I've always known about myself is my own ability to set sex aside, if need be. Yes, I've had casual sex and scenes and I've done it quite a bit through the years but I've reached a point where I want only myself in control of my encounters and so I don't indulge myself unless there is a very good reason for both myself and my partner and some clear understanding of those reasons. I know that there are others who cite a need for one-on-one contact with no strings which fulfills the need for "skin/touch" but for me, skin need or orgasmic need or feel-my-cock-in-a-cunt/mouth/ass need are not at the top of my list of reasons. That said...
If one of the submissive friends I have and who I've played with before comes to me and says "Sir, I need you to beat me in the way that you know...please control me in the way you wish for a weekend...please use me sexually", I would. We've done it before, we both know where the boundaries are, I would be sure to update with her to see if she has any new boundaries in place (boyfriend who isn't D/s but is O.K. with her doing all that a weekend with me entails, new health issues, etc.).
A new friend that has heard about the way I play or has seen me play and wants to experience it? That would involve negotiation, including a laying-out of boundaries on both her side and mine and expectations as to what the scene would bring. Since I have not played publicly for two years and have rarely played privately in those same two years, the need to make sure they knew all about what I like to do in play/scene situations is paramount as is my need to know what they like/don't like.
Either of the types of friends noted above who comes to me and says "I need to get fucked, Sir" would be sat down for a talk. If that was all she wanted, then my answer would be "No".
Either of the types of friends noted above who comes to me and says "I need to be beaten, Sir" might get a "yes", depending on what type of beating she wanted.
A submissive contacts me because of what she has seen on my profile and in my postings, likes my list of likes and dislikes and wants to meet for coffee and...if we are both interested...go on to play with no strings attached. A D/s or top/bottom fuckbuddy arrangement of a casual nature. While this is unlikely to happen...see my thread from awhile ago on who has the easier time finding partners for just this sort of casual encounter and which gender, for the most part, is interested in meeting someone new to form just such a "partnership"---let's say it did. Within the boundaries set up...no strings, no expectations beyond what happens each time we get together, no emotional involvement other than friends, I might or I might not. For me, it would depend more on the level of control involved during our encounters. Besides the odds of this occurring, this is also my least likely of encounters that I might enter into because of the strict casuality that would have to be maintained. With a known friend, many things are already known and expected. With someone new, even with the boundaries set in place, there is always the chance that something can go wrong...from many angles. I can't forget that it was one of these types of encounters that almost sent me to jail.
And on and on...each situation that comes up is different and is unique to the individuals involved. I would say that if you don't want future problems coming up, then talk as much about what the two of you want from this and expect from this before you do this.
< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 10/21/2009 1:52:09 PM >
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