|
agirl -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 11:46:44 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: AnimusRex
I like this-
quote:
ORIGINAL: agirl
I don't really care what's *right or wrong* in terms of meeting up with people for the first time on the D/s front. I was speaking from a purely practical sense as a Mum of young people that age, with some younger and some older as well.
She's got a sense, as dark said, of her worth ....it's not a crime to recognise that you are an attractive prospect..Dom in the offing or not.
He's not HER her dom, unless I'm missing something ....he's a prospective one......and she's a prospective *whatever* to him and his wife. I haven't read one thing in the thread that's led me to think this is anything beyond being interested in the *prospect of*. .......and that's where MY advice has sprung from.
agirl
This is one rare case where her comment about the Dom "jumping at her feet" is exactly what I would advise her if she were my own daughter, being pursued by some guy.
In this instance, I would suggest that she aggressively demand a lot of trust-building from the couple; real names, addresses, phone numbers. She should give this info to a trusted friend before the visit, have a "safe call" to speak to when she is there, etc. Let him earn her trust.
She may be willful, disobedient, and self-centered, but as the parent of a 19 yo boy, I see that as pretty much par for the course. Scold away if it makes you feel better, but only time and the wisdom of experience really changes an adolescent.
Scolding never, ever made as much of an impression as a calm and sensible discussion in this herb garden. Yelling and doing the *stiff talking to* thing simply never worked here......it just served to put defensive-fences up which just had to yanked down again later on.. No-one got anything worthwhile from it. I'm sure some respond best to a *royal kick up the arse* but it's not my default position and I'd be a crap parent if that was required.
Sometimes it's clear that young people are going to do whatever it is they've decided they are going to........and the BEST thing is just to arm them with as much information as possible, while voicing your concerns/doubts and so on. It quite possibly will be rejected in the *moment* while they're hell bent on some *wild* scheme......but it's still there in their back pocket, like a swiss army knife. After a certain age , I can't keep them safe, I can only help them keep themselves safe and 'though I can't put an old head on young shoulders, I'm prepared to lend them mine.
agirl
|
|
|
|
