RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along?

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lilmisssubmiss -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 9:16:34 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss Ok, Now i'm pissed. Will you shut up already? YESSSSSSSSSSSSs i lied about my age being ONE YEAR DIFFERENT. so i could use this damn site before i was 'allowed' i could of easily just deleted this and made a different one.. but no i decided to be truthfull. YESSSSSSSSSSS i am the most untruthful person on this fucking site because i lied about my age once SO YOU GUYS KNOW ME SOOOOO WELL. Shut up already. I get it, I'm the most horrible person who lies lies lies because i lied about my age. Anyways, back to the subject. - They will buy me a ticket back home. I'd be coming up friday after classes and come back monday for the first visit. I'd only miss monday which is dueable. - Jumping at my feet was a term...that he shows he is interested. Just because he is a dom doesn't mean he shouldn't show how interested he is. When I first started talking to them I sensed they were a lot more interested.. that's all i'm saying. And with not talking to her since the revnovation of the house..it's a bit sketchy to me. But, whenever I ask him...I get a " Sweetie don't worry we want to come up you will come up we are just really busy" ...it's like saying, but not doing in the sense... you think he'd talk to me a bit more somehow make some time... well he does a BIT but she doesn't. That has me a little...weary. - They barely have time to talk to me but he/she has time to check collarme? Seems to me they are REALLY keeping their basket open, if you know what I mean. I just have no idea what to do at this point. I'm thinking with text - let him start the convos. because i am done with getting maybe 1 2 (3 if i'm lucky) replies inbetween i'd say ...6 hours. that doesn't cut it with keeping in touch with me. PLUS i plainly state in my profile..." if you are too busy to have a relationship it won't work" because somehow someway when i get bsuy and YES i get BUSYYYYYYY esp being in college and the classes i am taking i somehow , SOMEWAY find the time i need to if something is important to me. Ummmmm...... No. I honestly don't care if you're pissed because the type of person that you are was splattered all over a message board for the world to see. There really are people on this planet who have every right to tell you what they think about that, rather than the cute little picture. Let's get another thing straight. It's not Me that's pissing you off. You pissed you off. Those are your actions. You own them. It's part of growing up. Frankly, it doesn't have a thing to do with Me. The people that you are going to meet, do they care more about who you are or just that you come in a pretty package? What about the other way around? If they were known to lie about things that could potentially harm you, would you care? see.....it's really not that big of a deal. i'm getting annoyed because i want help with this subject and all you keep doing is repeating yourself " she lied...she lied... SHE LIED GUYS..how can anyone trust her..she LIEDDDD" .......that's practically what you are saying. you're filling my thread up with SHIT that doesn't help the situation that i posted about and you keep on going..that's what's fucking rude and disrespectful, if you ask me. i would like help with the issue i posted about. i do get how it could of harmed someone when i was here before i was allowed, but luckily it didn't. if i could go back and change it would but i can't ....but i think you've said enough with your opinion and me being a bad person because i lied. i get it, move on .

RCdc -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 9:22:44 AM)
Is there any way that you are permitted to know stuff or people outside this (prospective peoples) life? When I met Master, He also involved me with other sites or people he knew. He was a bootlegger and mashup DJ. He is involved with film and writes books. It was simple to determine he was hiding nothing simply because from the outset, even though we were not a couple, he had a stable life with many friends or aquaintances. This helped me feel secure and know that he wasn't just stringing me along because he wanted me to be involved. the.dark.

mnottertail -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 9:24:09 AM)
well, what is being said, and maybe not the way you want to hear it, is you lie, I lie, people lie, your prospective owners lie, and by and large people lie. what needs to happen to stand upon this earth and see it as a serene and verdant world, is to examine yourself, do as you would want done to you, and expect them to do it as you have done to them, and being reasonable in your expectations, and not too needy from a distance and......... enough

ishyB -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 9:26:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss Ok, Now i'm pissed. Will you shut up already? YESSSSSSSSSSSSs i lied about my age being ONE YEAR DIFFERENT. so i could use this damn site before i was 'allowed' i could of easily just deleted this and made a different one.. but no i decided to be truthfull. YESSSSSSSSSSS i am the most untruthful person on this fucking site because i lied about my age once SO YOU GUYS KNOW ME SOOOOO WELL. Shut up already. I get it, I'm the most horrible person who lies lies lies because i lied about my age. quote: Original: ishyB Her action was certainly illegal, against the TOS, deceptive, immature and morally questionable. However, in my oppinion, the response she got from some members was also against the TOS, immature and morally questionable. I've never know two wrongs to make a right, and I am merely suggesting that if this whole thing is of such importance to some people, they should take the appropriate actions, instead of the inappropriate ones. You seem to fail to understand that, even though you are not the worse person on the planet for what you did, (and I never saw LadyPact state or even imply that you were) your own actions ARE still very relevant to this topic as well as very relevant in judging your character. Only people who sometime indulge in lying assume that everybody sometimes lies and that lying is therefore excusable. The problem with the fact that you lied once is NOT that you lied, but that you now cannot be trusted to never lie again... IOW you cannot be trusted period. The fact that you yourself cannot be trusted is in my opinion very relevant to the discussion on whether or not you yourself can trust other people... quote: ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss Anyways, back to the subject. - They will buy me a ticket back home. I'd be coming up friday after classes and come back monday for the first visit. I'd only miss monday which is dueable. - Jumping at my feet was a term...that he shows he is interested. Just because he is a dom doesn't mean he shouldn't show how interested he is. When I first started talking to them I sensed they were a lot more interested.. that's all i'm saying. And with not talking to her since the revnovation of the house..it's a bit sketchy to me. But, whenever I ask him...I get a " Sweetie don't worry we want to come up you will come up we are just really busy" ...it's like saying, but not doing in the sense... you think he'd talk to me a bit more somehow make some time... well he does a BIT but she doesn't. That has me a little...weary. - They barely have time to talk to me but he/she has time to check collarme? Seems to me they are REALLY keeping their basket open, if you know what I mean. I just have no idea what to do at this point. I'm thinking with text - let him start the convos. because i am done with getting maybe 1 2 (3 if i'm lucky) replies inbetween i'd say ...6 hours. that doesn't cut it with keeping in touch with me. PLUS i plainly state in my profile..." if you are too busy to have a relationship it won't work" because somehow someway when i get bsuy and YES i get BUSYYYYYYY esp being in college and the classes i am taking i somehow , SOMEWAY find the time i need to if something is important to me. Speaking strictly from personal experience: I moved to the US from Belgium (Europe) to be the slave of a couple married for 25 years. I've been owned for a little over a year now. I visited them 3 times prior to me moving there permanently. All 3 times where fully on my own expenses, they never payed one cent for my plane tickets or other relocation costs. Prior to meeting them for the first time, I had talked to Mistress only 2 or 3 times for a short time on yahoo, never on the phone. After meeting them in person (I stayed for a month the first time) Mistress and I talked about once or twice a month on the phone, between each visit. So I never really have had a lot of contact with her. This was because I was Master's slave, not hers personally (though I serve her as well) and she really did not have that much interest in me. Master and me talked a lot in the beginning. Every day online for the first couple of months, with regular phone calls. The more devoted I got to him, however, the less frequently he made time to stay in touch with me online and on the phone. My life might have revolved around him, and I wanted to talk to him as much as possible, but the reverse wasn't true, his life did not revolve around me. He had many other things going on besides me. This didn't mean that he was no longer interested in me -he was- it was just the fact that he did not NEED to be online and on the phone all the time anymore, to win me for him, because he had already done that. Now that I was his, he again devoted his time on other pursues he had as well. His level of interest never had anything to do with how much contact we had, only the amount of "work" needed to make me his made a difference in that. In fact the more I was his, the less time he spend talking to me online, just because he does not like to spend much time online, and he didn't need to anymore. So as to how your situation will turn out... I can only echo what others here have said: be patient, be careful, don't be too quick to jump to conclusions. I wish you well, ishy

agirl -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 9:30:58 AM)
I don't think her cute picture has anything to do with it. It's been clearly stated , over and over (and over) that people think was a bad idea , silly, irresponsible, thoughtless etc to have lied about her age . She's made it clear , more than once that she actually agrees. It's understandable that she's fed up with being beaten with the same cudgel. She can't nip back and alter that fact, it's fait acompli, it's done.....recognised, admitted.... OVER with. The type of person that she is? The type of person that she is, is subject to individual perception ....and I don't share your particular negative view. Naive, perhaps...hopeful, probably.....lacking forethought, certainly , in some ways .......says things without realising how they'll be taken...... apparently so. Seen it all before in people twice her age with less excuse. I think she's handled herself fairly well, considering. agirl

LadyPact -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 9:32:46 AM)
I honestly don't care that you're annoyed. If you would have read your own thread, you'd have seen the answers were in there. The house project is a very viable reason for their time to be taken up. If it's something as extensive for them to go through needing an appraiser (that is the right word, btw, so you were correct) it may be a major renovation. That's going to take time away from you. Is it possible that the wife is at the project and not able to talk to you by cell phone? Yes. Since you looked at My profile, you know that I live in a small town in CA and I can tell you that I don't get cell reception here. That's also very plausible. How do you know if someone is stringing you along? You don't. Until their words and their actions meet up, they are just words. You have no idea if they are telling the truth or not. (See how that works?) Here's what I'd be doing if I were you. Talk to both of them. Confirm an actual visit. Unless that's going to happen, you are wasting your time and theirs. At eighteen, you should be living your life (college, friends, etc) not waiting for it. That's My opinion. If you don't like it as you have the rest of My opinions, too bad. All of that aside, you do have some other things to look at in your life.

tazzygirl -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 10:19:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lilmisssubmiss Anyways, back to the subject. - They will buy me a ticket back home. I'd be coming up friday after classes and come back monday for the first visit. I'd only miss monday which is dueable. - Jumping at my feet was a term...that he shows he is interested. Just because he is a dom doesn't mean he shouldn't show how interested he is. When I first started talking to them I sensed they were a lot more interested.. that's all i'm saying. And with not talking to her since the revnovation of the house..it's a bit sketchy to me. But, whenever I ask him...I get a " Sweetie don't worry we want to come up you will come up we are just really busy" ...it's like saying, but not doing in the sense... you think he'd talk to me a bit more somehow make some time... well he does a BIT but she doesn't. That has me a little...weary. - They barely have time to talk to me but he/she has time to check collarme? Seems to me they are REALLY keeping their basket open, if you know what I mean. I just have no idea what to do at this point. I'm thinking with text - let him start the convos. because i am done with getting maybe 1 2 (3 if i'm lucky) replies inbetween i'd say ...6 hours. that doesn't cut it with keeping in touch with me. PLUS i plainly state in my profile..." if you are too busy to have a relationship it won't work" because somehow someway when i get bsuy and YES i get BUSYYYYYYY esp being in college and the classes i am taking i somehow , SOMEWAY find the time i need to if something is important to me. OK... past your age problem... on to the other problem first, when i read this, all i see is... me me me me. not being mean, but i see how you are worried, weary, tired. rennovating a home isnt a small issue. it adds alot of worries on its own. and have you tried just.. listening.. to him? while as submissives we may want it all our way, it isnt about to happen. we can demand, pout, stomp, cry, whine, sulk, ect... and if he has mastered himself... none of that will work.. lol. yes, your young, yes your cute, yes you are working on improving yourself... perhaps you need to work on patience (god how i remember those days) and improving yourself. between my job and Masters, there are days we speak maybe two sentences to each other... and we live together. i think you need to calm down, slow down, and make sure this is what you want. go visit.. as a friend. make your decisions once you return home. thats the best advice i can give.

Lucienne -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 10:28:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ishyB . Only people who sometime indulge in lying assume that everybody sometimes lies and that lying is therefore excusable. The problem with the fact that you lied once is NOT that you lied, but that you now cannot be trusted to never lie again... IOW you cannot be trusted period. In my experience, people who claim they don't lie tend to be lying to themselves. The circumstances under which lying is excusable is a big ol messy subject. But absolutist statements such as yours, think about what you are saying - all teenagers who lie about their age to gain premature access to the privileges of adulthood cannot be trusted, period - just aren't helpful guides for dealing with the world. OP, relax, and stop fussing over this. Don't over-think yourself into misery. IF the couple is lying about the house, you're probably never going to meet them. If they're telling the truth about the house, but they don't consider meeting you a high priority, you're probably never going to meet them. If you can't deal with that possibility, save yourself the trouble and call the whole thing off. It's far easier to assess your own tolerance for ambiguity (am I being strung along?) than it is to assess the true intentions of others. You're young and attractive. You'll have numerous opportunities. Don't develop a false sense of scarcity that motivates you to wait around longer than you are comfortable with.

leadership527 -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 10:38:53 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact The house project is a very viable reason for their time to be taken up. If it's something as extensive for them to go through needing an appraiser (that is the right word, btw, so you were correct) it may be a major renovation. That's going to take time away from you. I'll second this having just finished a modest renovation myself. Trust me on this, when you're hanging upside down from the roof with a paint sprayer, covered in paint, hearing and eye protection in place, you are NOT answering your cell phone. And... when you finally get down from that ladder and after you've cut tile for the entry foyer and after you replaced the toilet in the front bathroom and after you've contacted the carpet people and after you've spent a few hours on your knees pulling up old tiles.... you STILL aren't rushing to answer your cell phone. So yeah, the reason for not being available is perfectly plausible as is the timeframe.

lilmisssubmiss -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 10:51:59 AM)
quote: Fast Reply more smileys.. quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne quote: ORIGINAL: ishyB . Only people who sometime indulge in lying assume that everybody sometimes lies and that lying is therefore excusable. The problem with the fact that you lied once is NOT that you lied, but that you now cannot be trusted to never lie again... IOW you cannot be trusted period. In my experience, people who claim they don't lie tend to be lying to themselves. The circumstances under which lying is excusable is a big ol messy subject. But absolutist statements such as yours, think about what you are saying - all teenagers who lie about their age to gain premature access to the privileges of adulthood cannot be trusted, period - just aren't helpful guides for dealing with the world. OP, relax, and stop fussing over this. Don't over-think yourself into misery. IF the couple is lying about the house, you're probably never going to meet them. If they're telling the truth about the house, but they don't consider meeting you a high priority, you're probably never going to meet them. If you can't deal with that possibility, save yourself the trouble and call the whole thing off. It's far easier to assess your own tolerance for ambiguity (am I being strung along?) than it is to assess the true intentions of others. You're young and attractive. You'll have numerous opportunities. Don't develop a false sense of scarcity that motivates you to wait around longer than you are comfortable with. alright thank you so much guys. all this is really helpful cristism and i really appreciate it...this all gives me a better idea of things. just talking things out and seeing what other think. The stuff about "mememe" is the kind of stuff i WANT to hear. It helps me see things i do subconciously or do out of habit...which aren't good and patience i definitely need to work on. I quoted this person's post, but everyone along this persons same lines ...really are helping so thank you! <3 and ps. i never claimed i don't lie... and not to sound arrogant or rude... what i did lie about it is OVER and done with..it seems silly to have it mentioned over and over and over again, there is nothing more i can say or do. that's what i was getting at.

mnottertail -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 10:56:40 AM)
I will point out that nearly everything you found helpful I have said in my first post or two to you (even though you thought I was an unmitigated ASSHOLE) in a way you found offensive, and now you see that in this world, to others someone finds you and me and him and them offensive....... Generally to the group, since the only authority we know of on this site (on this forum) is ModeratorEleven and since the girl is still posting the position of the site has been made clear and they have resolved it in their own way. So, lillmiss, quit referring to it and everyone else should too. It is resolved. Ron the Reasonable Asshole

lilmisssubmiss -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 10:59:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I honestly don't care that you're annoyed. If you would have read your own thread, you'd have seen the answers were in there. The house project is a very viable reason for their time to be taken up. If it's something as extensive for them to go through needing an appraiser (that is the right word, btw, so you were correct) it may be a major renovation. That's going to take time away from you. Is it possible that the wife is at the project and not able to talk to you by cell phone? Yes. Since you looked at My profile, you know that I live in a small town in CA and I can tell you that I don't get cell reception here. That's also very plausible. How do you know if someone is stringing you along? You don't. Until their words and their actions meet up, they are just words. You have no idea if they are telling the truth or not. (See how that works?) Here's what I'd be doing if I were you. Talk to both of them. Confirm an actual visit. Unless that's going to happen, you are wasting your time and theirs. At eighteen, you should be living your life (college, friends, etc) not waiting for it. That's My opinion. If you don't like it as you have the rest of My opinions, too bad. All of that aside, you do have some other things to look at in your life. see that helped actually, lol. thank you.

AnimusRex -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 11:00:29 AM)
I like this- quote: ORIGINAL: agirl I don't really care what's right or wrong in terms of meeting up with people for the first time on the D/s front. I was speaking from a purely practical sense as a Mum of young people that age, with some younger and some older as well. She's got a sense, as dark said, of her worth ....it's not a crime to recognise that you are an attractive prospect..Dom in the offing or not. He's not HER her dom, unless I'm missing something ....he's a prospective one......and she's a prospective whatever to him and his wife. I haven't read one thing in the thread that's led me to think this is anything beyond being interested in the prospect of. .......and that's where MY advice has sprung from. agirl This is one rare case where her comment about the Dom "jumping at her feet" is exactly what I would advise her if she were my own daughter, being pursued by some guy. In this instance, I would suggest that she aggressively demand a lot of trust-building from the couple; real names, addresses, phone numbers. She should give this info to a trusted friend before the visit, have a "safe call" to speak to when she is there, etc. Let him earn her trust. She may be willful, disobedient, and self-centered, but as the parent of a 19 yo boy, I see that as pretty much par for the course. Scold away if it makes you feel better, but only time and the wisdom of experience really changes an adolescent.

lilmisssubmiss -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 11:01:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail I will point out that nearly everything you found helpful I have said in my first post or two to you (even though you thought I was an unmitigated ASSHOLE) in a way you found offensive, and now you see that in this world, to others someone finds you and me and him and them offensive....... Generally to the group, since the only authority we know of on this site (on this forum) is ModeratorEleven and since the girl is still posting the position of the site has been made clear and they have resolved it in their own way. So, lillmiss, quit referring to it and everyone else should too. It is resolved. Ron the Reasonable Asshole uh....................are you kidding me?

mnottertail -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 11:02:38 AM)
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no, I am not, in the light of day, calmly re-read them....... Ron

GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 11:04:24 AM)
shit..I'm falling in love with a DOM.. GM

lilmisssubmiss -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 11:04:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AnimusRex I like this- quote: ORIGINAL: agirl I don't really care what's right or wrong in terms of meeting up with people for the first time on the D/s front. I was speaking from a purely practical sense as a Mum of young people that age, with some younger and some older as well. She's got a sense, as dark said, of her worth ....it's not a crime to recognise that you are an attractive prospect..Dom in the offing or not. He's not HER her dom, unless I'm missing something ....he's a prospective one......and she's a prospective whatever to him and his wife. I haven't read one thing in the thread that's led me to think this is anything beyond being interested in the prospect of. .......and that's where MY advice has sprung from. agirl This is one rare case where her comment about the Dom "jumping at her feet" is exactly what I would advise her if she were my own daughter, being pursued by some guy. In this instance, I would suggest that she aggressively demand a lot of trust-building from the couple; real names, addresses, phone numbers. She should give this info to a trusted friend before the visit, have a "safe call" to speak to when she is there, etc. Let him earn her trust. She may be willful, disobedient, and self-centered, but as the parent of a 19 yo boy, I see that as pretty much par for the course. Scold away if it makes you feel better, but only time and the wisdom of experience really changes an adolescent. :) i like you.

lilmisssubmiss -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 11:07:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh no, I am not, in the light of day, calmly re-read them....... Ron Oh Ronny you are such a character!

mnottertail -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 11:08:27 AM)
I also mentioned that at the outset, as did several others........ I am only lacking in couth, to get a green card into humanbeingness. Ron

tazzygirl -> RE: I'm confused - how do you know if someone is just stringing you along? (10/28/2009 11:09:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GYPSYMAMBO shit..I'm falling in love with a DOM.. GM LOL.. scary huh

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