HisBestGirl
Posts: 67
Joined: 11/16/2008
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To be honest, I've not read this thread in its entirety. However, if someone were to say to me 'he's black' I would assume, through whatever social conditioning, they are referring to an African American, African and to a lesser extent, Aborigine/ TSI, not someone of Indian descent. In Australia, particularly when I was child/teenager, one simply did not encounter Africans or African Americans on a consistent basis. I honestly cannot remember meeting one ONCE until I got to year 12 and one of my friends was dating an African American guy (note how I'm using these terms as I'm unsure if I'm going to offend anyone). I do believe that Australians are largely unaware of the social mores that one simply experiences growing up in the USA, for example. One of my ex's is African American and I always found it fascinating listening to him relate his experiences which are so wholly removed from my own, not only as a woman but also as an Australian who has limited experience or understanding in regard to the history and current position of African Americans (not taught in our schools) other than what is general knowledge and what I have read so far.
Having said all that, I do hope it makes sense and does not offend anyone.
In regards to your comment Blaakmaan (and all this is said with no indignation or anger): I highly doubt it's a conscious decision on my part to date only white men but as a possible theory; I ultimately identify with white culture, even though white culture does not accept me as readily. I saw my mother's family maybe once every 4 years, she has been in Australia for 30+ years, has forgotten most of her mother tongue and as I said, I grew up in an area that has been referred to as 'the last bastion of the white man'. I was the only non-white kid in my entire school and as I'm sure one can imagine, that gave others a lot of fodder for ostracising me. And yet, save for my early and continued experiences with racism and prejudice, I had virtually no connection with Asian culture. I believe that if I had been more exposed socially to Asians and Asian culture, I would feel more of an affinity with Asians. However, I currently work for a company that solely employs Asians and the fact that I am half white is cause for constant comment. I go to Malaysia to visit family and I am called 'mat salleh' to my face and behind my back which is often used as a derogatory comment in relation to white people. Honestly, I don't say all this in order to induce someone to throw me a pity party or to justify that I 'feel' white, therefore I 'date white'. Rather, to further clarify my experiences and a possible theory as to why I 'end up' with white guys through no particular conscious decision on my part. I am 23 and have had serious relationships with 6 people. Of those 6, 1 was Middle Eastern, 1 was Italian, 3 were white and 1 was African American. Hence why I believe I 'end up' with white men.
My best friend is half Greek, on her father's side. She identifies herself as Greek, no halfs about it. She dates Greek men and she will marry a Greek man. I'm not going to get all Freudian but I believe there is something to ponder in that both of us have gravitated towards dating men who are the same race/ culture as our respective fathers.
My partner is white and with the exception of me, has only dated white women. This I believe is due to the fact that he comes from a country town where the only non-white people were the Indian family running the one Indian restaurant. There simply was no choice in regard to dating anyone who wasn't white. That was the selection. And yet I know he finds Middle Eastern, Latina and Black women in particular very attractive so it's not a question of attraction to one particular race.
So Blaakmaan, I suppose I am envious of your clear connection to both your culture and your race and that you would actively wonder why you were gravitating solely towards those outside of your race if such an occurance were to happen.
Ultimately, I do believe that it is the individual not the race that determines whether or not I find them attractive and worth pursuing a relationship with.
I do hope all my quotation marks and comments did not come across as snarky and just in case, I'll throw this in ---> 
_____________________________
Daddy's organic device for the collection of corsets...
"Your mother called, just to say how thrilled she was not to hear from you." - D.M
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RE: The impact of racial preferences in dating... - 
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