AAkasha
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Joined: 11/27/2004
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quote:
ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
fr
quote:
What I have never done is piss-away family money, money that my family needed, putting them in debt. No matter how someone slices-n-dices it this is a betrayal of trust.
I'm going call bullshit on this. You wrote that you smoke too much, drink too much and you're 150 pounds overweight, so, obviously, you eat too much. Just take one of those things.. say .. the smoking. What's too much? A pack a day? One pack a day for 9 years = $13,000. That's almost half the debt. Your wife has 4000 books and hundreds of DVD's to show for it all .. what do you have besides diabetis and, possibly, a future carting around an oxygen tank? Every time you took a drink or stuck a cig in your mouth, you were pissing away family money. No matter how much someone slices-n-dices, you contributed to the debt with your own form of junk. Books and DVD's.. those are things the whole family can enjoy. Your cigs, alcohol and food are something that only *you* enjoyed. I wonder who was the member of all those porn sites.. you or the wife?
You are ending the marriage because of a betrayal of trust? She didn't tell you that cigs, alcohol and McD's cost money? You didn't see the CD cases and book shelves slowly filling up over the years? You know exactly what your income is (we all do because you told us.. $40,000 a year for her, $12,000 or so a year for you). Knowing exactly how much income you had, knowing exactly what it was being spent on, the only betrayal here is that you stuck your head in the sand and are now using the blindfold YOU put on yourself as an excuse to get off the gravy train now that the fuel is empty and the piper has to be paid.
You want out, get out.. but call a spade and spade and have some intellectual honesty about the whole thing. She didn't betray you at all by keeping information from you. The information was there for the taking if you had only chosen to open your eyes and see it. Play victim all you want, make her the bad guy.. whatever it takes to let you sleep at night, but what you are trying to sell, I'm certainly not buying and if a kick in the reality ass is being mean, so be it. Others have made comment calling it tough love. I have no love, tough or otherwise for you, just calling it like I see it based on what you've posted.
You're 52 years old, smoke too much, drink too much, eat too much - 300 lbs of manchild who refused to see what was right in front of him and it's all her fault because she didn't explain the real world to you and tell you that your cigs, alcohol and trips to Burger King actually require $.
Yeah, right.
This. And it was nice to see he was using all that flexible time as stay-at-home slave to stay healthy for himself and for his lady.
Above anything else, if my man, who does not work outside the house, started to get out of shape or lazy, he'd be in a world of hurt from me, and not the fun kind. If I am going to give him the luxury of not having to worry about being the breadwinner, then at the top of his list is going to be taking great care of his body.
I'm also wondering why the OP never learned to cook. If he was the home-slave he should have been learning to cook healthy, both for him and for his lady. And if being "at home" is your career, so to speak, then you must look at it like ANY job and make yourself valuable and marketable with that time you have. Learning skills, making yourself invaluable, becoming the best at what you do - in case your lady disappears, passes away or dumps you. Now he's single with no marketable skills - whose fault is that?
Akasha
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RE: How bad should it be before you leave? - 
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on and on and on and on. It's a dead thread folks. 
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