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RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 11:46:36 AM   
ThatDamnedPanda


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Joined: 1/26/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I have a history of sounding like an idiot but I posted a real and honest cry for help and the people that thought I was an idiot realized I had mental problems and softened towards me BUT TODAY i was manic and so happy I could bust and I came on a sight and I posted and in order to be brief I didn't say everything I should because people complain when I do, but if I don't they think I am a collasal idiot and I am proud of the work I have done to make progress in these people's eyes...


And you ought to be proud. I think you've got a lot to be proud of. I don't think there's another poster on these boards who's as consistently cheerful, optimistic, non-judgemental, and open-hearted as you. Considering all the problems you deal with in your everyday life, to be able to come here with that kind positive attitude day in and day out is amazing to me. I've always thought that every one of us could learn a lot from you about how to live a happy, positive life - especially the people who criticize you.


.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom
People here are beginning to do that, in real life and on collarme, and and it sucks cause all i wanna do is be friendly and share my joy with you an people find it annoying. And then when I do make ground I back slide and post my joy all over your topics forrum and you're all back to thinking I am an idiot.


Well, I've never thought you were an idiot, and I can't tell you how much joy you've brought into my life by sharing the joy you find in yours. Sure, some of the decisions you make in your life don't seem logical to me, but it's none of my business because it's not my life. I look forward to reading your threads, because I know that in almost every one - even the venting threads - I'm going to find nuggets of pure, childlike happiness. And it always puts a smile on my face, and my day is better and more colorful for the joy you've shared with me.

So, you know what? These people who you say think you're an idiot? Fuck 'em. Be who you are, and don't let them inside your head. If they don't like your threads, let 'em ignore them and find other threads to spoil with their negativity. Count me as one person who hopes you never let them force you into trying be someone other than who you are. Because you're a really good person with a good heart. And it adds a lot to my life when you share that with us.


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(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)
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RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 1:16:36 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Impish, yup at first I was gonna explain an then if you didn't see my explination oh well who cares ya are cool with me or you are not an a stupid post isn't gonna matter, but I got anxious and I was so proud of myself and I wanted to share and some of you guys were like big fucking deal you're proud an it ruined my parade, and I spiraled into a depression because I am manic depressive with severe mania's and child like lows.


But I'm still proud and I have grown up tons in the last few days and I'll just share that with people who w/ill love that about me, and the rest of the neigh sayers can sit on it and spin
quote:

ORIGINAL: impishlilhellcat




As for the posts you screwed up, people poked some fun no biggie.. LAugh or shrug it off and move on. I don't think it's really needed to post this three or four different times. The people who are going to read it will find it. If they don't they probably wouldn't understand anyways. Trust me I understand the need to be heard and going to any lengths that you can to make sure you get your point across (I'm that way when it comes to closure), but sometimes it's just not going to happen. You have to find a way within yourself to get that acceptance. There are going to be times when you just aren't going to get it from someone else.


But that's just my two cents worth.

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RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 1:18:45 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
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quote:

4. Always be able to laugh at yourself. If you can't life is going to hurt a lot more.
no better advice out there. This has gotten me through some really rough times.

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RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 1:20:22 PM   
VirginPotty


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Status: offline 		<Points & laughs at Clumsy>

You're right! It works!!

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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 1:23:05 PM   
sirsholly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VirginPotty

<Points & laughs at Clumsy>

You're right! It works!!


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RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 1:26:25 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		laughing loudly in joy to your reply.


One time when things were really bad my dad joked we could eat ginger for dinner to recoup our losses in medical bills and at the very same moment ginger just happend to sneeze, as if to say hell no.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

I got three words for you TFB.



Now if you were in here looking for a recipe for dog sauce, maybe ..........

T

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 1:34:46 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Yes panda, I am essentially non jaded, and if I am jaded if you give me a chance to know you better because we had issues in the past, and not you personally you generic, then I'll be the best friend ya ever had that couldn't meet you in real life because of distance.


And I've allowed people to take that away from me and make me doubt myself, but not any more. I feel that I have grown a billion years older emotionally and mentally by finally deciding to deal with a few simple things and all my old wounds that festered and would rip open and debilitate me are finally now healing and some of them are gone, because I talked about it and was honest, and some people roll your eyes that after one good therapy session your issue that was one of them is gone and you're fine again, but I don't and I say bravo me, if I healed a life long wound between my mom and I after 24 years, and I feel positive in just one time of talking to her honestly who's to pooh pooh that.


NOBODY THAT'S WHO!
quote:

ORIGINAL: ThatDamnedPanda



And you ought to be proud. I think you've got a lot to be proud of. I don't think there's another poster on these boards who's as consistently cheerful, optimistic, non-judgemental, and open-hearted as you. Considering all the problems you deal with in your everyday life, to be able to come here with that kind positive attitude day in and day out is amazing to me. I've always thought that every one of us could learn a lot from you about how to live a happy, positive life - especially the people who criticize you.


.
quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom
People here are beginning to do that, in real life and on collarme, and and it sucks cause all i wanna do is be friendly and share my joy with you an people find it annoying. And then when I do make ground I back slide and post my joy all over your topics forrum and you're all back to thinking I am an idiot.


Well, I've never thought you were an idiot, and I can't tell you how much joy you've brought into my life by sharing the joy you find in yours. Sure, some of the decisions you make in your life don't seem logical to me, but it's none of my business because it's not my life. I look forward to reading your threads, because I know that in almost every one - even the venting threads - I'm going to find nuggets of pure, childlike happiness. And it always puts a smile on my face, and my day is better and more colorful for the joy you've shared with me.

So, you know what? These people who you say think you're an idiot? Fuck 'em. Be who you are, and don't let them inside your head. If they don't like your threads, let 'em ignore them and find other threads to spoil with their negativity. Count me as one person who hopes you never let them force you into trying be someone other than who you are. Because you're a really good person with a good heart. And it adds a lot to my life when you share that with us.


(in reply to ThatDamnedPanda)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 1:54:01 PM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
Joined: 9/7/2007
From: Quietville
Status: offline
quote:

I say bravo me
there is nothing wrong with that. For some reason we tend feel it is self serving and a sign of an overblown ego to pat ourselves on the back. That is total bullshit. We each accomplish things that we never thought we were capable of doing and you are damn right we want to toot our own horns!


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RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 2:04:42 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Tfb,

You have grown so much since I first joined the boards.
You should be proud of yourself!

There is nothing at all wrong in your wanting to share your joy...or sadness...or frustration.

I like that you say things without filtering your thoughts through some idea of what is socially acceptable.

Some of us have either never had or allowed ourselves the opportunity to do that.


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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 2:47:55 PM   
zephyroftheNorth


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From: The Great Frozen North
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quote:

But I'm still proud and I have grown up tons in the last few days and I'll just share that with people who w/ill love that about me, and the rest of the neigh sayers can sit on it and spin


....and you should be proud, sweetie. You are making great progress in turning your life around. It's just not going to happen all at once. Patience is going to be necessary because there will be days when you just won't feel like doing the things you need to do, there will be days when it will seem like nothing or little has changed. But I promise you that there will also be the day when you look back, see how far you have come, and smile widely.

zeph


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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 6:08:57 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Yup, I can see it already and I learned a huge lesson about ginger, and training her, do not give her any gooey lovey dovey  attention when she cries and howls because you're doing something new and she says mommy no this is scary because I am going to make her behave worse, and daddy is usually the one so calm and collected around her and he was freaking out over her crying and I told him ignore her she's fine, AND SHE WAS! I was so happy to see that my not gushing on her when she cried like I normally would lead to her sitting down quite happily and even ifgnoreing us totally to watch people pass by.

It's so freeing to finally rip the covers off some of these dank dusty old secrets and put them in the air too, I'm going to make a print out of my rants too about my issues an what's going on in my head an when I find a therapist, I am going to hand her all this talking and work and self realization that I have done, so she can read it and digest it and eat it well if you will in her own time and figure out how best to work with me an well if we need more than an hour we do and if we don't we don't, and I'm not anxious about going in ripping open my guts plopping them on the table an then making it worse in my head because in 30 minutes you have to put it all back inside and it's to much shit to eat successfully in so lil a time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

quote:

But I'm still proud and I have grown up tons in the last few days and I'll just share that with people who w/ill love that about me, and the rest of the neigh sayers can sit on it and spin


....and you should be proud, sweetie. You are making great progress in turning your life around. It's just not going to happen all at once. Patience is going to be necessary because there will be days when you just won't feel like doing the things you need to do, there will be days when it will seem like nothing or little has changed. But I promise you that there will also be the day when you look back, see how far you have come, and smile widely.

zeph


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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 6:14:21 PM   
dreamofthemoon


Posts: 10666
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

Tfb,

You have grown so much since I first joined the boards.
You should be proud of yourself!

There is nothing at all wrong in your wanting to share your joy...or sadness...or frustration.

I like that you say things without filtering your thoughts through some idea of what is socially acceptable.

Some of us have either never had or allowed ourselves the opportunity to do that.




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RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 6:29:03 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I don't have any friends and I am desperate for friends and I try so hard to behave and it backfires and I make people uncomfortable, and then I am back to square one bt I am devistated now, because I thought I did so well pretending to be able to be normal and not bug the shit out of you and I failed.



Have you looked into this group? (click here) It sounds like they may be able to help you with some of the issues you have described.


Cali


Tfb's symptomology is not that of Aspergers. Shes talked of ADD and impulse control and Bipolar issues. I know Aspergers and have researched it at length and live with it every day(my kid has it). She does not have it. Perhaps the people with Aspergers would be accepting of her because they have inappropriate social behaviors and can have compassion with hers. But I hardly think that going to an Aspergers support group would give her the coping strategies for her issues. Plus all those little proffesors..that what they call them..well, Im not so sure she would love them to go on and on about astronomy or insects or whatever subject they are obsessing on.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 11/2/2009 6:32:17 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 6:32:50 PM   
impishlilhellcat


Posts: 4379
Joined: 3/26/2006
Status: offline 		Yanno TFB I think you are definitely different, but I work with scientists and we all have odd and unusual social behavior so your behavior doesn't really phase me much. I don't talk to people I don't know and I'm not friendly to strangers and I don't do well at parties unless I know people.



Just think of it this way there are people out there without disabilities who are really strange for no reason.

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RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 7:12:38 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Impish DAddy doesn't either, and he's not anti social but he needs to feel comfortable with you and not feel he's forcing his attention on you, so he's really quiet and reserved till he knows you, and not only that but if I am at a friends an daddy is there, he doesn't wanna steal my thunder so to speak by directing attention away from my friend and I and onto him so he's happy to sit there quietly and not say a word for hours and just be there for me to enjoy having a friend to talk to.


impish hell we can't all be social butterflies, nobody would get a word in edgewise and yeah this happens with people who love the gift of gab as much as I do, you talk all over eac other, so you now what, so what if I am insanely friendly and happy all the time, I'm fuflling a purpose:)


A lot of people in real life need a friend and don't have one cause they're like me really friendly an they make people uncomfy, but I'm there for the people of the world like me who's talk to any one nice and friendly and I am providing a service and a great help to other friendly people in need of other friendly people to gush friendship to.
quote:

ORIGINAL: impishlilhellcat

Yanno TFB I think you are definitely different, but I work with scientists and we all have odd and unusual social behavior so your behavior doesn't really phase me much. I don't talk to people I don't know and I'm not friendly to strangers and I don't do well at parties unless I know people.



Just think of it this way there are people out there without disabilities who are really strange for no reason.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 8:43:50 PM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Tfb's symptomology is not that of Aspergers. Shes talked of ADD and impulse control and Bipolar issues. I know Aspergers and have researched it at length and live with it every day(my kid has it). She does not have it. Perhaps the people with Aspergers would be accepting of her because they have inappropriate social behaviors and can have compassion with hers. But I hardly think that going to an Aspergers support group would give her the coping strategies for her issues. Plus all those little proffesors..that what they call them..well, Im not so sure she would love them to go on and on about astronomy or insects or whatever subject they are obsessing on.


I thought she had said at one time in the past, that she did have Aspergers along with the other issues, and when she mentioned her current inappropriate social behaviors and inability to read others' social cues, it rang a bell.  I must be mis-remembering or thinking of someone else.

Cali


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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 9:02:04 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		Cali you are, and it's ok IT may of been a dom on here, because Inever said aspergers, but I did say socially inapropriate behaviors.


Someone summed it up very well when she said in another forrum, believe the problem the OP runs into is that when she tries to interact with others in a BDSM setting, she truly tries her best to blend in and be friendly. Yet she comes across too strong. She talks too loudly, or talks about inappropriate things, or stands too close, or does other things to cause people to leave the room or even leave the party to avoid her. It isn't a matter of being a bad person or purposely misbehaving.


Over the years, as an event host, I've had complaints about people who are aggressive or relentlessly negative. It's fairly easy to ask such people not to return to my events. But what do you do about someone who is childlike and relentlessly talkative? Other than gagging them and isolating them from others what can you do about such guests? What can you do when interacting with others never seems to improve the problems? While many guests try to be compassionate and tolerant, they will eventually stop attending events if they don't enjoy the company of others who attend parties there.


quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick


I thought she had said at one time in the past, that she did have Aspergers along with the other issues, and when she mentioned her current inappropriate social behaviors and inability to read others' social cues, it rang a bell.  I must be mis-remembering or thinking of someone else.

Cali


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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 9:18:11 PM   
DavanKael


Posts: 3072
Joined: 10/6/2007
Status: offline 		I find your posts to be immature, sometimes bordering on unintelligible, and lacking in taking personal responsibility which annoys me the most.  Clearly you need help but the attention-seeking that you do on here is a symptom of the problem which is greater.  When you speak of age play, it creeps me out because I get the sense of someone with multiple-personalities retraumatizing themself and raising a big Borderline hoopla in the doing. 
I think that you need a lot of help.  I hope that you are engaging in therapy, medition management, and other services to work on and through these things but the pivotal piece I always feel you are missing is that YOU have to be willing to be constent and to grow up and make the changes rather than pushing off the responsibility for negatives in your life onto others. 
Best wishes,
Davan

< Message edited by DavanKael -- 11/2/2009 9:20:11 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 9:37:36 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

Davan


As I have stated before, in the nearly 2 and a half years I have been here, I have observed a lot of growth within the OP's posts.

There are many people on here who engage in attention seeking behaviors.
That is common on any forum.
I don't find hers to be difficult to understand and while they are often child-like in her freedom of expression at least she doesn't post with an agenda.

Perhaps since her posts in particular distress you, it might be in your enlightened self interest to simply hide them.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: MODS DO NOT DELETE, THANKS. - 11/2/2009 9:43:27 PM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DavanKael

I find your posts to be immature, sometimes bordering on unintelligible, Davan


don't read them then...and your life will be unaffected..


GM

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Profile   Post #: 40
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