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[Poll]

You are submissive yet refuse to address Dom as Sir in public.


Agree
  28% (12)
Disagree
  71% (30)


Total Votes : 42
(last vote on : 2/14/2012 7:03:46 AM)
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RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 7:59:00 PM   
NihilusZero


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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Putting on a show for attention is beneath both of us. My guess is it is not beneath you. Making others uncomfortable by what we do or how we conduct ourselves in public is something we choose to avoid.

Is being able to distinguish between people who are attention-whoring and people who actually want the freedom to express their relationships in non-harmful ways beneath you?


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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to sirsholly)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 8:03:38 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

Or, you know, private.

People make private the things they have some fear of making public for personal and/or ethical reasons.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

I think I look pretty and becoming naked, but I don't feel the need to share my naked body with the world.  Again, not everyone is an exhibitionist.

I think reducing the entire nude model populace to "exhibitionist" is a bit short-sighted.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

Good for those who are and who exercise their impulses in front of a willing audience.

"Willing" is a red herring here. What are you actually defending? The ability of people being offended to take that interpretation and turn it into mandatory constrictions for others? Or, at very least, to use it to demean someone else's personal expressions because the perceiver is incapable of fathoming it as more that just attention-whoring?


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"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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Profile   Post #: 122
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 8:05:20 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sirsholly

Sorry but you are wrong...what it says is that we are not attention whores.


A similar self-acclamation you could make if you had been born in a strict middle eastern country and supported the view that you and the rest of your gender should not have any skin other than that around the eyes visible when you go out in public. Only the "attention whores" would dare wear less, yes?


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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Profile   Post #: 123
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 8:06:38 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
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From: Nashville, TN
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

I don't see how calling a person Sir in public would even be interpreted as kinky. Couldn't it just be a pet name?

No. and please warn us to avert our eyes before you attention-whore yourself out in public like this again.




_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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Profile   Post #: 124
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 8:19:37 PM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline 		See the thing is, I am an exhibitionist. Some might even say an attention whore. I get off on people watching me. The thing is they have to DIG it for it to fan my fetish flame. In other words it isn't enough for me that they watch. They have to like what they see. So if I did something in public and the people around me said "eeewwww gross!" then I would dry up like the Sahara. Thats why I usually chose the people who I "show off:" for. That way I know they like it.

Calling someone Sir is polite. Its not as if you are saying "oh Sir, if it pleases you, may your slave licketh thy boot?"
I have called Master Master in public. I told a waiter at a resturant that "My Master would like more bread" and handed him an empty basket. He looked at me funny then looked at my Master smiled and said "of course." THAT was involving someone in our kink without his consent. I'll admitt it. I am a horrible person. I'm pretty sure he lived to see another day.

(this isn't directed at you NZ I know you were kidding)



(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 8:32:17 PM   
dcnovice


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Joined: 8/2/2006
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quote:

I told a waiter at a resturant that "My Master would like more bread" and handed him an empty basket. He looked at me funny then looked at my Master smiled and said "of course." THAT was involving someone in our kink without his consent. I'll admitt it.


Not only was the waiter nonconsenting, but he wasn't in a position, given his job, to truly respond or walk away.

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(in reply to Hierodule)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 8:36:04 PM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline 		yeah, I'm gonna burn in hell.

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 8:38:48 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		Probably not. But the fact remains that you got your kicks by taking advantage of another human being's social/professional position. You're apparently comfortable with that. Some people would not be.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to Hierodule)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 8:43:35 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		This "non-consenting" stuff is malarky. You consent to the normal interactions of other people when you choose to leave to safe domicile of your enclosed room. Having your social biases and preferences confronted by an event that pushes them does not make you a victim and it doesn't make the acting party an attacker.

For instance, I have been non-consensually subjected to the illogic of people's views on this matter in this thread.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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(in reply to Hierodule)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 8:44:10 PM   
Hierodule


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Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

Probably not. But the fact remains that you got your kicks by taking advantage of another human being's social/professional position. You're apparently comfortable with that. Some people would not be.


What if we were a gay couple and the waiter was homophobic or we were an interracial couple and he was racist? And instead of saying "My Master" I said "My lover" would you feel the same way?

(in reply to dcnovice)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 8:44:48 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

Probably not. But the fact remains that you got your kicks by taking advantage of another human being's social/professional position. You're apparently comfortable with that. Some people would not be.

"Taking advantage of"? Of what? His confusion? His predisposition to not understand relationships come in all different kinds of flavors?

What horror, to be exposed to the variety of human life!

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 11/7/2009 8:45:04 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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Profile   Post #: 131
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 8:48:05 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hierodule

What if we were a gay couple and the waiter was homophobic or we were an interracial couple and he was racist? And instead of saying "My Master" I said "My lover" would you feel the same way?


It's the same damn thing. This "exposing" angle is just a thinly-veiled support for people to somehow have the right to not have their biases, bigotries and delusions confronted by reality.

And, surely, all those who would expose an individual to that confrontation are just trying to get their exhibitionist jollies off.



_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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Profile   Post #: 132
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 8:54:30 PM   
Lawrence111


Posts: 117
Joined: 6/10/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

I told a waiter at a resturant that "My Master would like more bread" and handed him an empty basket. He looked at me funny then looked at my Master smiled and said "of course." THAT was involving someone in our kink without his consent. I'll admitt it.


Not only was the waiter nonconsenting, but he wasn't in a position, given his job, to truly respond or walk away.


Yeah, what dcnovice said.

Here we have someone who put a person they did not know in an untenable situation, potentially embarrassing the waiter let alone other diners, because they are a self-defined exhibitionist.

Why is it necessary for some of us to be 'in your face' with our kink in the vanilla world? Why is it not enough to respect others enough to not potentially embarrass them in public? What's happened to "Honor" and discretion?

It's fine to go to a play party and "be public." Hell, that's what play parties are for... but in the vanilla world, where there *might* be a possibility that children are about? Nahh, even without kids about that behavior is just so non-consensual, and only gives our kink a bad name.

So thanks a lot for that. "dry up like the Sahara" indeed...

Respectfully,

Lawrence
Ithaca, NY
(who now understands why he's hidden and blocked some users, seemingly on a whim)

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RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 9:01:25 PM   
Icarys


Posts: 5757
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lawrence111


quote:

ORIGINAL: dcnovice

quote:

I told a waiter at a resturant that "My Master would like more bread" and handed him an empty basket. He looked at me funny then looked at my Master smiled and said "of course." THAT was involving someone in our kink without his consent. I'll admitt it.


Not only was the waiter nonconsenting, but he wasn't in a position, given his job, to truly respond or walk away.


Yeah, what dcnovice said.

Here we have someone who put a person they did not know in an untenable situation, potentially embarrassing the waiter let alone other diners, because they are a self-defined exhibitionist.

Why is it necessary for some of us to be 'in your face' with our kink in the vanilla world? Why is it not enough to respect others enough to not potentially embarrass them in public? What's happened to "Honor" and discretion?

It's fine to go to a play party and "be public." Hell, that's what play parties are for... but in the vanilla world, where there *might* be a possibility that children are about? Nahh, even without kids about that behavior is just so non-consensual, and only gives our kink a bad name.

So thanks a lot for that. "dry up like the Sahara" indeed...

Respectfully,

Lawrence
Ithaca, NY
(who now understands why he's hidden and blocked some users, seemingly on a whim)


Reality check? We are talking about a couple of words right?


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

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Profile   Post #: 134
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 9:03:27 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lawrence111

Yeah, what dcnovice said.

Here we have someone who put a person they did not know in an untenable situation, potentially embarrassing the waiter let alone other diners, because they are a self-defined exhibitionist.

Bollocks. The waiter had to merely be exposed to the reality of someone's relationship. If his grasp of reality is so feeble as to be rendered asunder by having to realize people have different relationship styles, then he should be in an entirely different line of work. Maybe something that doesn't involve actually interacting with people.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lawrence111

Why is it necessary for some of us to be 'in your face' with our kink in the vanilla world?

Aside from your affinity for pricay or fear of public knowledge, what forces you to categorize these folks as "in your face" any more than a woman not being covered by a burka or a couple daring to kiss at their table?

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lawrence111

Why is it not enough to respect others enough to not potentially embarrass them in public? What's happened to "Honor" and discretion?

They do not mesh with intolerance and ignorance. That's what happened to them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lawrence111

It's fine to go to a play party and "be public." Hell, that's what play parties are for... but in the vanilla world, where there *might* be a possibility that children are about? Nahh, even without kids about that behavior is just so non-consensual, and only gives our kink a bad name.

Bullshit. Maybe it's all a game or role-playing to you, but some of us actually take these quirks as genuine parts of who we are. They are honest manifestations of the people we see in the mirror. If you cannot handle that about me (or someone else) I fail to see how your short-sightedness is my problem.


< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 11/7/2009 9:04:05 PM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to Lawrence111)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 9:09:23 PM   
Icarys


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

That's fine. But my father's 82 and has dementia. He wouldn't understand and he would become worried and upset and we wouldn't be able to explain or calm him down. So why would I want such an outcome?


Lord knows you come up with the some of the most doomsday scenario's to back up your point's I've ever seen. More power to you.



You think I'm dreaming this up? I call up on the phone, and he doesn't know where he lives half the time. I wish I was dreaming this up. I wish he was perfectly healthy. I wish we didn't have half the emergencies we do trying to take care of him.


Oh no..I think you know exactly what I was referring to. Did you not use your father's dementia as an excuse as to why you can't say sir in front of him? That would be what I found far fetched and more than a little ridiculous. The idea that somehow the word sir would throw him into a fit that would be hard to bring him out of easily.


_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

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Profile   Post #: 136
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 9:10:19 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		Wow, this is an interesting night.  I'm actually 100% agreeing with Nihilus on something...

And as far as if my pet says something along the lines of "Master would like some more rolls please sir/ma'am.", Who's to say he's not simply my valet/manservant? 

Also, have you ever been a waiter?  Something like that is about the most mild and normal thing you'll see throughout the day.  Trust me on that one...  It's one of the weirdest jobs a person could possibly have.  It's not like he's being strapped to the table and whipped in front of them either... although most of the waiters I've known would PAY to see that. ;)


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Profile   Post #: 137
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 9:45:33 PM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline 		You know what? I didn't "get off" on saying "Master" to the waiter. I'm pretty sure it made my Master happy. But it didn't get his dick hard. It had nothing to do with my exhibitionism.  It was a  fact. My Master wanted more bread.  Its not as if I got on my knees to suck His cock in the restaurant. I really don't see how it would scar a child to hear the word "Master" but I do refrain from calling Master "Master" in front of his son. Not because I feel there is something wrong with it, because he told me not to and I agree that its not a good idea.

When I was a waitress I got called "hon" "cutie" and "babydoll" on a daily basis. It was annoying but I wasn't really in a position to complain or refuse service. Not if I wanted to keep my job.  I think that is far more invasive than what I did. And plenty of  vanilla hetero couples called eachother "sweets" and "snookums " and "baby-bear" in front of me. I didn't feel violated because I was exposed to their private affectionate names for each other.





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Profile   Post #: 138
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 10:12:55 PM   
BKSir


Posts: 4037
Joined: 4/8/2008
From: Salt Lake City, UT
Status: offline 		Ugh that too!  And god knows how many times I wanted to dump a glass of ice water over some couple sucking face at the table.  There's a big difference between that and "My sweetie would like some more soda."  To me, that second part there, that's actually kind of sweet.  Doesn't scar me or anything, doesn't even annoy me. 

How about the other side?  Waitresses that call everyone honey or whatever.  Who's to say that's not how they get their jollies?  Whatever, it's not like they're jumping on my lap and molesting me.  I'm a big boy, I can handle being called honey by a complete stranger.

If I were running the front of the house and a waiter had a problem with someone saying "Master would like some more bread.", I'd probably fire the guy.  He's clearly not in the right job.  They're not being obscene or profane. 

Not long ago it was very common for ones valet or butler to be the go between from master to waiter or other service personnel.  Is it really that different?  Honestly?  No, not really.  Butler going to the butchers "Master would like 4 of your finest steaks and a lovely roast please sir."  Doesn't mean there's even anything sexual to it.

And, god forbid a child overhear and start noticing things like manners and protocol.  But perhaps it would be better for them to learn "This lazy fatass wants some more bread."  Or for them overhear people sitting there using profanity and burping and farting in restaurants.  But no one seems to complain about that.  Somehow, I think that's a bit bass ackwards.

Someone also made the point, and a very good one, about just turning it off and on.  Certainly.  I'll demand that my pet stop calling me sir, as soon as the guy at the table next to me demands that his girlfriend stop calling him sweetie.  To me, absolutely no difference.  It's just as much a part of every day life in my household as it is for them in theirs.  They're not hurting me by using their little pet names, and if it's hurting them for others to do the same thing, then they're just hypocritical wastes of flesh anyway, and not even remotely worth my concern about their feelings.

It doesn't get me off for him to do it either.  As I already stated, I flat out told him, many times, if he doesn't want to call me sir, he doesn't have to.  I don't have to call M. "ubbah" either, nor do I have to call the pet "Dear One", but I do.  If people are so damned thin skinned that they can't handle it, they should probably lock themselves inside their house and never come out.  Also get rid of the television, radio and computer.  Those are far more blatant and obnoxious every moment of every day than someone calling another person "master".

Sorry, but I'm nobody's mommy, and I'm not going to be.  I refuse to coddle other adults because of their delicate little sensibilities.


_____________________________

We'll begin with a spin, traveling in a world of my creation. What we'll see will defy explanation.

I am the voices in your head.

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(in reply to Hierodule)
Profile   Post #: 139
RE: You are a submissive in public refusing to address ... - 11/7/2009 10:59:48 PM   
HimNbabygirl


Posts: 645
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Knoxville, TN and Somewhere, WV
Status: offline 		i have sat here and read this thread in the entirety. All this hubbub seems to have steamed from the basic question of do you call your Master "Sir" in public. For me, personally, i call anyone of the male persuasion that i meet and do not know their name "Sir" and i also call anyone of the female persuasion  that i meet and do not know their name "Ma'am" i do this because as a child i was taught this was being courteous and respectful. If i can show this courtesy and respect to a complete stranger, why is it suddenly wrong to extend this courtesy and respect to someone i know, love and feel has earned my respect? i call Him Sir or Master at all times, not because He has commanded it, but because i love and respect Him. If this is not scarring to children to see me call a stranger "Sir" why is it scarring to call Him the same? i have actually seen children using their manners and opening doors for me, when i tell them thank you, frequently they say your welcome Ma'am. On the other hand i have also seen children who have no manners look at an elderly person and say "won't you just die or something but get the fucking hell out of my way" (i have actually seen that at my local mall).



TN Master's baby girl

(in reply to BKSir)
Profile   Post #: 140
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