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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/17/2009 10:34:29 PM   
breatheasone


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quote:

So, don't bring it up again and I won't reply. Neat how that works, huh?

This ones for you kiddo! LOL
http://www.cartoonstock.com/newscartoons/cartoonists/mba/lowres/mban775l.jpg


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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/17/2009 10:39:28 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

This ones for you kiddo! LOL



Clearly you're not aware of my official credentials...




Attachment (1)

< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 11/17/2009 10:40:05 PM >


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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/17/2009 10:41:10 PM   
breatheasone


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i am so! ....As a matter of fact...i KNOW everything, i just can't remember it all at once.

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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/17/2009 10:47:47 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i am so! ....As a matter of fact...i KNOW everything, i just can't remember it all at once.


Ah... well, you'll need this then...





Attachment (1)

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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/17/2009 10:49:25 PM   
breatheasone


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Ah well i never claimed that hun...not by a long stretch....

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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/17/2009 10:53:14 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Ah well i never claimed that hun...not by a long stretch....


Shhhh.... I won't tell.... mums the word.



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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/17/2009 10:57:35 PM   
breatheasone


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ok...but my silence isn't cheap. i may ask for tawdry sexual favors! 

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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/17/2009 11:29:25 PM   
Llyren


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Can I watch?  Or sell tickets, for a reasonable cut of the profits?

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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/18/2009 1:39:43 AM   
ranja


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HATSHOO

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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/18/2009 4:35:19 AM   
allthatjaz


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kasumi

My Master tried 'edging' me once the day before yesterday and it was difficult for me since I wasn't quite sure where to take it to. Since my orgasms are hard for me to judge, I could be not feeling too stimulated one second and ready to explode the next so I had to be careful. In the end I settled with "close but not too close... just in case" but after what daintydimples said, I wonder if we should take a step back and increase our sexual communication first so that "brinking" would be easier to judge then? Or should we keep experimenting with brinking/edging so that we can gain better control first?

Ah, complications and confusion...



There is nothing wrong with exploring and increased sexual communication is vital if you want to start controlling an orgasm. Believe me, before you orgasm you give out a dozen clues that its on its way. Your breathing changes, your body language changes and your eyes often dilate. With me its my left foot that gives the game away Its learning to read those tiny give away clues and its paramount your Dominant learns to recognize them.
I often read about Dominants threatening to punish a sub if they cum without permission or are unable to draw back. The very fact that the sub is getting turned on by the Dominant wanting to stop her orgasm makes things all the more difficult in this sort of situation because the desire of negative persuasion comes into place.
Full body orgasm comes from controlled build up. Tantric massage brings you to the brink but no further, over and over and the final orgasm is a build up of what would normally just be 'le pety mort' All of this is done in a very relaxed and open enviroment.




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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/18/2009 5:55:03 AM   
allthatjaz


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or peti mort even!

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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/18/2009 12:49:39 PM   
ResoluteDavid


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Female orgasm is triggered (and controlled) by a neurohormone called Oxytocin - it's the same chemical given to induce labor as it causes severe vaginal contractions.

During female sexual arousal (from any and all sources), the brain produces Oxytocin.  At a certain level of Oxytocin in your bloodstream, you will orgasm, whether you want to or not.  If you were injected with Oxytocin, you would orgasm no matter where you were or what you were doing.

Orgasm control for a woman is a practice of regulating the rate of Oxytocin production through AROUSAL control.  You CANNOT control orgasm without controlling the release of Oxytocin, and that is almost completely dependent on HOW you become aroused, how LONG it takes to reach the point of orgasm, and how other cues (verbal, for example, or touch in certain places) either add to or detract from arousal increasing to orgasm.

It varies from woman to woman, but if you or your partner can judge the degree of arousal, compared with the point at which you orgasm, you can (and your body can) learn to delay orgasm by slowing the arousal process to slow the production of Oxytocin.  It is hard to find that exact point without a lot of practice, but once you do it is extremely easy to control the onset and moment your orgasm triggers.  Often verbal, aural (sound), and olfactory (smell) cues can play a very important role in accelerating or decelerating arousal, and Oxytocin production.



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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/18/2009 1:29:15 PM   
kasumi


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I've been injected with synthetic oxytocin (pitocin) and didn't feel any sexual stimulation at all, but this was just after my water broke with my first child. lol Still, I don't believe that the muscle spasms alone would be enough to really call the experience an orgasm. There's a lot more to a woman's orgasm than just vaginal (and uteran) muscles spasm.

Ocytocin causes the uterus to contract and start pushing the baby down the birth canal. Granted, there is still uterine muscle contractions during orgasm, but its just a part of the whole - not the whole in and of itself. I mean, there's a definite connection, but its not even enough to stimulate orgasm alone (at least not with me!) otherwise a nursing mother would orgasm, since the suckling releases oxytocin as well. I've heard of the possibility of this happening but its not very common. I've breast-fed all three of my children and never became aroused from it, though definitely did feel the uterine contractions that happened as a result.

Ocytocin is a big, BIG chemical with women and a lot of stuff is really inter-dependant on others (such as seratonin) so I'm not denying its place in the female orgasm but I don't think that most women will cum if they happen to receive a big shot of the stuff in the arm.

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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/19/2009 9:02:27 AM   
allthatjaz


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I am not sure what you mean Resolute David.
Oxytocin can not work without pheromones, prolactin and dopamine and to produce dopamine we need something to excite the brain.
How can you practice regulating Oxytocin without regulating the other hormones? How can you regulate any of these hormones without medical assistance? The only way you could do that is by stimulating prolactin but prolactin can only be stimulated once the orgasm is over.
I really don't understand what your trying to say because it doesn't make any sense?






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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/19/2009 9:18:16 AM   
breatheasone


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For the record..... i want an orgasm from the touch of His hand, or other body part. Because i desire HIM and His TOUCH. 

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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/19/2009 9:39:12 AM   
mnottertail


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well, when you are close to orgasm, have him poke you in the eye, that should stop it. once you feel comfortable he can stop it, do the opposite and your mind should follow.

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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/19/2009 12:19:48 PM   
DemonKia


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FR, after read thru

Hmmmmmm . . . . . There was a lot of stuff in this thread, it was a fun read. I think I'm gonna start with relevant excerpts from the Wiki about orgasm, then I'll talk about some of my stuff in a later post.

The article linked early in this thread, claiming to describe how to spot faux orgasms? It seemed to be describing arousal way more than actual orgasm. The definition of a female orgasm is itself a bit hazy, but Wiki does a decent job of compiling the current state of understanding. I also threw in some other snippets that seemed pertinent to the discussion:

Clinical definition stuff:

"...Orgasm is usually defined in a clinical context strictly by the muscular contractions involved, and also by characteristic patterns of change in heart rate, blood pressure, and often respiration rate and depth.[4] But this way of viewing orgasm is merely physiological, while there are also psychological, endocrinological, and neurological definitions of 'orgasm'.[24]

In these and similar cases, the sensations experienced are subjective and do not necessarily involve the involuntary contractions characteristic of orgasm...."

...

"...erection of the clitoris and moistening of the opening of the vagina. Some women exhibit a sex flush, a reddening of the skin over much of the body due to increased blood flow to the skin. As a woman nears orgasm, the clitoral glans moves inward under the clitoral hood, and the labia minora (inner lips) become darker. As orgasm becomes imminent, the outer third of the vagina tightens and narrows, while overall the vagina lengthens and dilates and also becomes congested from engorged soft tissue.[42] Elsewhere in the body, the breasts swell because myofibroblasts of the nipple-aerolar complex contract, causing erection of the nipples and contraction of the aerolar diameter, reaching their maximum at the start of orgasm.[citation needed] The uterus then experiences a series of between 3 and 15 muscular contractions[citation needed]. A woman experiences full orgasm when her uterus, vagina, anus, and pelvic muscles undergo a series of rhythmic contractions. Most women find these contractions very pleasurable. By the end of orgasm, breast size has returned to normal, but nipples take longer than the rest of the breast.

Recently, researchers from the University Medical Center of Groningen, the Netherlands, correlated the sensation of orgasm with muscular contractions occurring at a frequency of 8–13 Hz centered in the pelvis and measured in the anus. They argue that the presence of this particular frequency of contractions can distinguish between voluntary contraction of these muscles and spontaneous involuntary contractions, and appears to more accurately correlate with orgasm as opposed to other metrics like heart rate that only measure excitation. They claim to have identified "[t]he first objective and quantitative measure that has a strong correspondence with the subjective experience that orgasm ultimately is". They note that the measure of contractions that occur at a frequency of 8–13 Hz is specific to orgasm. They found that using this metric they could distinguish from rest, voluntary muscular contractions, and even unsuccessful orgasm attempts.[43]..."

Spontaneous orgasms:

"...Orgasms can be spontaneous, seeming to occur with no direct stimulation. Occasionally, orgasms can occur during sexual dreams (see nocturnal emission).

The first orgasm of this type was reported among people who had spinal cord injury (SCI). Although SCI very often leads to loss of certain sensations and altered self-perception, a person with this disturbance is not deprived of sexual feelings such as sexual arousal and erotic desires. Thus some individuals are able to initiate orgasm by mere mental stimulation.

Some non-sexual activity may result in a spontaneous orgasm. The best example of such activity is a release of tension that unintentionally involves slight genital stimulation, like rubbing of the seat of the bicycle against genitals during riding, exercising, when pelvic muscles are tightened or when yawning or sneezing.

It was also discovered that some anti-depressant drugs may provoke spontaneous climax as a side effect.[11] There is no accurate data for how many patients who were on treatment with antidepressant drugs experienced spontaneous orgasm, as most were unwilling to acknowledge the fact...."

The clitoris & orgasm:

"...Recent discoveries about the size of the clitoris show that clitoral tissue extends some considerable distance inside the body, around the vagina. This discovery may possibly invalidate any attempt to claim that clitoral orgasm and vaginal orgasm are two different things.[6]

The link between the clitoris and the vagina reinforces the idea that the clitoris is the 'seat' of the female orgasm. It is now clear that clitoral tissue is far more widespread than the small visible part most people associate with the word. It is possible that some women have more extensive clitoral tissues and nerves than others, and therefore whereas many women can only achieve orgasm by direct stimulation of the external parts of the clitoris, for others the stimulation of the more generalized tissues of the clitoris via intercourse may be sufficient...."

& this tidbit:

"...A 2005 twin study found that one in three women reported never or seldom achieving orgasm during intercourse, and only one in ten always orgasmed. This variation in ability to orgasm, generally thought to be psychosocial, was found to be 34% to 45% genetic. The study, examining 4000 women, was published in Biology letters, a Royal Society journal...."


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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/19/2009 8:14:00 PM   
kasumi


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia
It was also discovered that some anti-depressant drugs may provoke spontaneous climax as a side effect.[11] There is no accurate data for how many patients who were on treatment with antidepressant drugs experienced spontaneous orgasm, as most were unwilling to acknowledge the fact...."
O.O I need to talk to my doctor about changing my medication.

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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/20/2009 1:11:46 PM   
DemonKia


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(Okay, I won't be back until Wednesday, so I better chuck this up here while I can . . . )

Now I'm a gonna share my experience, thoughts, etc . . . .

I can have a hard time having orgasms. I can also be multi-orgasmic in a long-term relationship context. I'm also technically kinda fetishy, cuz I need certain components to be present (in my imaginings if not actually) to get off . . . . . & the more I get the easier it gets to cum, the more aroused I get, etc, etc . . . . But I don't have orgasms with a new person, at first. I don't do casual sex for this reason. Sure, getting aroused, having some erotic calisthenics has value, but not so much for me, & the lack of orgasms just makes it more so . . .

I've faked orgasm a few times. It's not something I like doing, & it typically is part of the death knells of whatever is happening relationship-wise .. .. . But mostly faking an orgasm is a measure of how delicate I think that person's ego is & / or how 'polite' I feel I must be . . . .. . I know from way too much experience that not faking is capable of being as problematic or more so than faking it. It's very emotionally uncomfortable, in the heat of the moment, to not be "proving a partner's" sexxxy-sexiness by having orgasms within that other person's expectations . . . . .

lol . . . Now, when it comes to masturbation, I don't have problems cumming. Reliable. Sometimes it's really quick, & sometimes it takes longer. Even the coupla times in my 3 plus decades of whacking off when, due to stress, depression, & etc, I was having arousal & etc problems, I just did some deep relaxation & other cognitive shifting work, got my head back into an aroused space, disciplined that, & continued rubbing one out. Masturbation has been a crucial self-care tool, for me . . . . Like sleep, I don't let things get in the way of a certain necessary basic level . . . . .

So, now let's add the demon wandering in BDSMland . . . .

I've had a coupla tops try to exert un-negotiated, impromptu orgasm control on bottoming-me, very early in the process. I faked in the moment, & then broke their little hearts later on when I 'fessed up . .. . I make sure to tell those stories to any incipient tops, now, just like I tell tops I have a hard time cumming with a new person. (Jeezus gawd, my disclosure list is taller than me, lol . . .. . )

I've played with it as a top, a tiny bit, the whole don't-cum thing with a pain-slut as a reason for funishment. But it was very much service topping a pushy bottom, so it was more about learning where his head was at & how his stuff worked & something he wanted to have done .. . . & he was a virtual non-communicator, verbally speaking, just to make things more challenging. (Dumped him, fyi, mostly because of the inability / unwillingness to communicate verbally. But the orgasm control thing was fun to play with . . . . . )

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RE: Orgasm Control - how to? - 11/20/2009 7:00:03 PM   
wandersalone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

HATSHOO

ok that made me laugh out loud..... did he ask you to snot now slut?


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