RE: Cheating spouses

RE: Cheating spouses (Full Version)

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breatheasone -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 9:36:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rockspider No you a totally wrong. It takes two to make a good marriage work. But it only takes one to make it crappy. I am sorry, but i have seen to many of them down the road. Bitchy, whiny, never satisfied with anything women who don't give a shit about the husband. He is just around as the mealticket and if he treatens to leave he gets the message she will do anything to prevent him from seeing his kids. Also many of those husbands hangs around hoping wifey will revert to the sweet little one he married. They don't really realise she never existed, just an act to get somebody on the hook. The moment she got her hooks sunk in the real bitch crawls to the surface. I don't say it is every woman. But i have seen a fair amount in my time. Actually they easy to spot. They carry absolute no guild for the failure of the marriage. They have a custody court batle behind them and they always bitch over how little money the ex pays them. WOW..... you are TOTALLY wrong here. Most women are not at all like what you descibed, You seem like a VERY bitter man...i hope you can resolve this and get peace.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 9:43:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CTJess Although OP is conspicuously gone and probably did not have the best intent with this post, this is a GREAT thread. The OP is not "conspicuously gone." What everyone here seems to keep missing is that theirs was not a lifestyle relationship. She discovered that he was contacted people on here and came to the forums for information and advice. Much of what was said was that people agree her husband betrayed her. All the bullshit about lifestyle situations doesn't apply to her situation, and the idiocy that she is just as bad as he is because she stumbled on some information and then went further to see how much was going on is enough to make anyone not want to post more. "Choosing" to fill a void in the relationship is a decision that lacks honesty and integrity. Sure, there are years of being together, emotions, children, the whole lot. There is also the promise that was made to be faithful. Other than open marriages and poly situations where intimacy with others has been discussed, it is cheating. In other words it is going behind the person's back and doing something that you KNOW will hurt them and putting your feelings first. I find it interesting that the same people who will openly say that if a "D" type violated an agreement that way, it is time to leave, but in a vanilla marriage, it is all about her "snooping." In both cases the outcome is the same, someone's trust was violated. If you "stumble" upon something you didn't expect and go to discuss it with that person, more often than not they are going to lie and try to get out of it. Hence the need for more information. Your typical marriage doesn't allow one spouse to tell the other that their sexual communications with another person are not the spouse's business. Yes, you can find yourself being unsatisfied in your relationship. It still doesn't justify going out to find that satisfaction somewhere else. Telling them "if you can't give me what I need, I will find it somewhere else" doesn't mean you aren't cheating, just because you "told" them what you are going to do. Does it mean you suffer until you can get out of the situation? Yep. And if you can't manage to do that, don't be surprised when people in the future find you untrustworthy.

RCdc -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 9:46:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elizabeth666 quote: ORIGINAL: SultryItalian Cheaters are morons. Well said :) And I totally disagree. It's a disgusting ill used term that people like to think is big to throw around and shows a lack of intelligence by the very persons throwing the name around so loosely. Can we say 'eugenics' - anyone?[8\|] And that is all I have to say on that. the.dark.

breatheasone -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 9:47:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady quote: ORIGINAL: CTJess Although OP is conspicuously gone and probably did not have the best intent with this post, this is a GREAT thread. The OP is not "conspicuously gone." What everyone here seems to keep missing is that theirs was not a lifestyle relationship. She discovered that he was contacted people on here and came to the forums for information and advice. Much of what was said was that people agree her husband betrayed her. All the bullshit about lifestyle situations doesn't apply to her situation, and the idiocy that she is just as bad as he is because she stumbled on some information and then went further to see how much was going on is enough to make anyone not want to post more. "Choosing" to fill a void in the relationship is a decision that lacks honesty and integrity. Sure, there are years of being together, emotions, children, the whole lot. There is also the promise that was made to be faithful. Other than open marriages and poly situations where intimacy with others has been discussed, it is cheating. In other words it is going behind the person's back and doing something that you KNOW will hurt them and putting your feelings first. I find it interesting that the same people who will openly say that if a "D" type violated an agreement that way, it is time to leave, but in a vanilla marriage, it is all about her "snooping." In both cases the outcome is the same, someone's trust was violated. If you "stumble" upon something you didn't expect and go to discuss it with that person, more often than not they are going to lie and try to get out of it. Hence the need for more information. Your typical marriage doesn't allow one spouse to tell the other that their sexual communications with another person are not the spouse's business. Yes, you can find yourself being unsatisfied in your relationship. It still doesn't justify going out to find that satisfaction somewhere else. Telling them "if you can't give me what I need, I will find it somewhere else" doesn't mean you aren't cheating, just because you "told" them what you are going to do. Does it mean you suffer until you can get out of the situation? Yep. And if you can't manage to do that, don't be surprised when people in the future find you untrustworthy. i didn't see anything in the OP where she said anything about her husband...except that she has one. quote: ORIGINAL: MeBadGirl69 I have been e-mailing with a master, but he is married and his wife doesn't know anything about his online activities. I would love to meet him in person, but I don't know if that would be right. Should I enable him to cheat on his wife of many years? BTW - I am married also.

IdiotMale -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 9:48:41 AM)
I actually prefer and encourage any woman I go out with to cheat on me.

breatheasone -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 9:50:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IdiotMale I actually prefer and encourage any woman I go out with to cheat on me. Thats nice dear.

retox22 -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 9:58:27 AM)
Life is not black and white, and why cheating is wrong is beat into the ground. I have married for six great years to the love of my life, But I still look at other woman. Anyway you need to go to your husband and tell him that 1) You are not happy. 2)That you have a need BDSM in your life. I would do any thing for my wife to make her happy and her needs fufilled. Make him into your master, tell your fantasys and what you would like to try. Try some self bondage and let him find you, But leave a note of what you want him to do. We man are not mindreaders. Life is a hard uphill battle against the world, I know why people cheat, Its eazyer than breaking up. Try to get what you need at home, if not break up. Life is way to short to be unhappy

Viridana -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 11:47:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lucienne The part that I see, which you don't seem to acknowledge, is that people frequently have competing interests. We can't always all get what we want. Competition for limited resources is part of most of our lives. By competing for and winning a particular job, I'm willingly and knowingly "hurting" others who want that same job. It isn't my goal to hurt them. But it's an incidental effect of me pursuing my interests. You'd probably think it was silly to accuse a bride of willingly and knowingly hurting all the other women who have romantic intentions towards the groom. But there she is, the bride is interfering with those other women's interest. Of course, she does so with the consent and cooperation of the groom. In the same way that the cheater consents and cooperates with the woman he's not married to. It's not exactly the same thing. But it's closer than many people seem to want to admit. I do aknowledge frequent competing interest however.... People competing for jobs and brides competing for grooms are not quite the same as squeezing themselves into and invading an already established intimacy, where oftencase when found out literally ruins the lives of the unbeknownst. That, you must see, is not the norm when job applications open or a handsom guy decides to go on a date.

Viridana -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 11:49:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: marie2 Your avatar speaks volumes. Thank you for that insightful, well thought out and profoundly cited remark. I'm sure you were the captain of the debate team in your high school. ....[:D] see..I'm always listening. Too bad you had nothing of value to say.

Rhodes85 -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 5:51:22 PM)
'And I totally disagree. It's a disgusting ill used term that people like to think is big to throw around and shows a lack of intelligence by the very persons throwing the name around so loosely. Can we say 'eugenics' - anyone?[8\|] And that is all I have to say on that. ' Uhhh.....what? Nobody is throwing anything around loosely. I prefer the term 'disrespective, manipulative, coward' when referring to cheaters, but 'moron' is quite sufficient to get the point across. That being said...what does any of this have to do with eugenics? 'WOW..... you are TOTALLY wrong here. Most women are not at all like what you descibed, You seem like a VERY bitter man...i hope you can resolve this and get peace. ' I second that. 'That's actually really sad that you feel that way, rockspider...I'm sorry that you have experienced the awful aspects of women and relationships (and relationships gone out the window). Not everyone is like that. Men can be assholes, so can women - assholey-ness (is that even a word?!) doesn't discriminate with gender. There are some wonderful loving beautiful men out there; and there are beautiful, unconditionally loving, selfless, compassionate women too. Just don't let yourself become bitter and jaded to that. ' I whoeheartedly agree Elizabeth666, i'm sorry to say that situations like that are all too common in many relationships and I am so sorry you had to go through that. But you did do the best you could and you did the best you could for your daughter. Don't ever forget that.

zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 6:02:46 PM)
Could you please be clearer what the text you are quoting is. Your posts are confusing. Thanks

Elizabeth666 -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 6:57:09 PM)
quote: Elizabeth666, i'm sorry to say that situations like that are all too common in many relationships and I am so sorry you had to go through that. But you did do the best you could and you did the best you could for your daughter. Don't ever forget that. Thanks, it's appreciated. But I am dealing with it and hope to get things going soon.

Rhodes85 -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 10:25:27 PM)
Glad to hear it and sorry about the lack of proper quotes. IE seems to have issues with the quote button. It locks up alot when I try to use it.

Llyren -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 10:57:40 PM)
You're using IE? Are you quite mad? I admit I hate how firefox sucks up all the memory and gives me the white screen 'o death, but better than than Internet Exploder.

Surrenderwithin -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 10:58:41 PM)
I have always had a difficult time understanding how a relationship can be built upon a foundation of lies.This situation would never work for me and would cause me to question the type of person I was about to become involved with.. then question myself as well.

Rhodes85 -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/21/2009 11:54:50 PM)
Yeah I know IE is absolutely awful but firefox doesn't seem to work right on my system. and i've only got 512mb of memory on this one so it would probably screw me around more than IE does now LOL

WyldHrt -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/22/2009 12:02:40 AM)
quote: Yeah I know IE is absolutely awful but firefox doesn't seem to work right on my system. and i've only got 512mb of memory on this one so it would probably screw me around more than IE does now LOL Oh holy hell. 512 RAM? Tell me you are running 98 and not Vista. Anywhoo, you should be able to put the tags in manually, like this. [quote]text you want to quote[/quote] gives quote: text you want to quote

Rhodes85 -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/22/2009 12:07:26 AM)
Yeah 512mb RAM and i'm running XP Professional. I hate vista and hate 98 even more. I'm just a bit paranoid about upgrading because everytime I do something explodes, and I don't mean when I do it myself...last time I took it to a comp repair shop to do it. Ironically I have another comp with 3gb of RAM but can't get online with it or do much of anything else for that matter because its one of those mini emachines ones that can't be upgraded and has no place to install a dialup modem. Yes I do mean dialup....theres no highspeed access in my part of nova scotia yet. I still miss my old T1 back in vancouver.

WyldHrt -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/22/2009 12:13:58 AM)
I'd take 98 over Vista any day, but my baby (netbook) runs on XP with 1G, no issues. That said, Emachines [sm=rofl.gif]I made that mistake ONCE. Never again.

Rhodes85 -> RE: Cheating spouses (11/22/2009 12:27:00 AM)
Yeah it was a mistake but I only wanted it for a development machine so it doesn't really need to be that great. I would definately take 98 over vista, which unfortunately is on the damn emachines system.

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