RE: Collar vs wedding ring (Full Version)

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CERCKL -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/9/2006 11:17:35 PM)

quote:

I would agree with you only in relationship to the more mainline or traditional Religious weddings and the wedding ring. For me , a wedding ring is a talisman, an item designed to bind soul to soul and made/blesed using arcane rites, as th wedding rins my Wife/Free Companion has from me, was so worked..... LoR was not wrong regarding the power of rings.... The collar designates my propertyor the property of House Iron Bear or any other owner and is to be respected... Were it to happen that I both married and collared the same girl. we would be bound in ways which can never be broken.



This thread was recently revived and so I got to read it...in My own case, My wedding ring stayed on at all times in the last seven years but twice...both symbolizing endings...the first time was six years ago when my wife and I seperated after being together five years and the second time earlier this year when my wife stated she was done...the ring/talisman has a lot of meaning to me as it was the ring my mother had given my late father when they were married and I never changed the engraving...if I ever get married again, I will wear the same ring again, not as a reminder of my last marriage but as a talisman of family...as for collar, it too has a deep significance to me, not only that of property but that which belongs to me fully; the one I have being made for lotus is also padlocked through a hinge through the back, the lock, in a way holds more meaning than the physical collar...mind, body, spirit bound to me.

C



Arpig -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/9/2006 11:28:32 PM)

No they are not even close....getting a collar removed is simply a matter of removing it and saying either..."I set you free", or "I am now free". Getting rid of a wedding ring takes lawyers and $$$$$$$$$




CanadianGuy -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/10/2006 2:48:59 AM)

Sometimes I see a collar as a wedding ring for people in D/s relationships.  But really, both of them mean what the people who wear/give them say they mean.

I put a ring on my wife and regret it.  I hope to put a collar on my girl once we can be together for good.



feastie -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/10/2006 4:53:59 AM)

For me, there is no collar vs. wedding ring.  I wouldn't accept a collar from anyone whom I wouldn't accept a ring.  That doesn't mean that I wouldn't accept one without the other, but I'd hope that both would come to fruition sooner or later.



LadyWolfdreams -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/10/2006 8:37:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

I do see them both as symbols of a defined relationship. One is wrapped around my love which I give freely, the other wrapped around my power which was taken from me. My wedding ring encompasses every part and parcel .. the entirity of 'me' and would never have been placed on my finger if the collar was not already attached. They are not equally important to me. The collar can exist without the wedding ring.. that wedding ring, for me, can not exist without the collar.

Celeste


I couldn't have said it better. Even though I am the Mistress and Owner in my relationship, I feel the same.

Lady Wolfdreams



slave4Darby3d -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/10/2006 11:36:35 PM)

Well said...



CERCKL -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/11/2006 1:37:31 AM)

quote:

Just curious about how others feel on this........do you see a collar as being equal to, less than, or more valuable than a wedding ring? Or do you even see the two as being in the same category?

Level


OK, I just received a confirmation email last night that the collar I was having made for lotus was shipped...I emailed her to let her know it was on it's way out...her repsonse was that she was nervous and felt similar as to when she had gone down the aisle; that she hadn't realized she would feel this way. Now mine is not her first collar which she has receive...and I know her last was a very intense manner for her...but this was beyond what I expected as a reaction. It was her who initially stated that she wanted a physical collar to illustrate she belonged to me ( I know, I'm a bad Master, I could care less about most symbolism...) but I am very excited, primarily because of her reaction...well, plus I love lotus more complete, more final, more intense than anyone in my life. She is my balance, she helped me remember who I was...she is a significant part of myself.

C



MCanon -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/11/2006 2:16:11 AM)

I feel that a collar is more important than a wedding ring, because with a collar comes all the trust and complete devotion of both the submissive and Master for one another.  It is not like a wedding ring, where if you are tired or bored with each other you can just get a divorce like so many hollywood stars seem to do, or most Americans these days, if you believe the polling date.  Needless to say, that accepting a collar and giving your life completely to an owner brings with it much more then putting on a wedding ring and saying a few vows. 



KatyLied -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/11/2006 4:49:42 AM)

The symbols (collar, ring) may be similar to many people.  But the institutions are not.  A marriage is a civil, legally binding commitment.  A collaring is nothing of the sort.  If collarings were as meaningful as marriages (and as difficult to extricate yourself from), I wonder if they would be tossed around as casually as many seem to do.

edited for grammar



talltxsub -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/11/2006 5:08:27 AM)

But the wedding ring confers rights, whereas the collar does not.  At least in the same way.



meatcleaver -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/11/2006 5:16:38 AM)

To be completely cynical, a collar is cheaper but takes more effort to maintain.



OneX2 -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/11/2006 5:46:36 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Just curious about how others feel on this........do you see a collar as being equal to, less than, or more valuable than a wedding ring? Or do you even see the two as being in the same category?

Level


I see these as very and similar in many ways. I know that is vague, but it depends on which tradition one is taking a wife in. Both are unarguably important.

Joseph



pandora56 -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/11/2006 4:44:41 PM)

i also never married again after i was divorced.  Perhaps because i had so many illusions about marriage when i did marry.  To me the D/s relationship is so much deeper and more intimate than what i experienced in my marriage and other "vanilla" relationships, therefore the collar meant the most to me.  i crave the collar again, i couldn't care less about the ring.



imnotsughnite -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/11/2006 5:00:08 PM)

hi



Rayne58 -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/11/2006 5:08:07 PM)

I've stated before that I don't have a collar, but I do have an engagement ring and soon will have a wedding band to go with it. It means more to me than the expensive ring I wore for 23 years when I was married to my former husband. We are not much for BDSM protocols so I doubt I'll ever have a collar except for play. The ring I wear 24/7 is my "collar" [:)]




sweetbbwsub31 -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/11/2006 5:32:22 PM)

To me they are two different things entirely. i also agree that the lucky sub is able to be collared and be married to the same person. i have a vanilla life partner who understands my need to be submissive. It works for us. Every relationship is different and life it too short to not be happy. i can say that i had a wedding ring for 9 years and it meant far less to me than the collar i had for 9 months. My former Sir also knows me and is bonded deeper to me than my ex husband ever was. i trusted him with my life and he saw me at my most vunerable. That is something i will remember for the rest of my life.



LordDominik -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/11/2006 5:47:47 PM)

To Me, I see them as the same thing.  In this day and age of the internet, and all of the "online" & "velcro" collars that float around, I believe that people are not giving this type of situation the level of attention it deserves.  Too many people are far to willing to either give out, or accept a collar.  This is truly a sad state of affairs.  My advice to anyone is take the time to get to know the person.  What do they have in common with you outside of the lifestyle?  After that has been determined, then take the time to see if your lifestyle interests are equal.  This is why in My 13 years in this lifestyle, I have never collared a slave. 
 
My collar is equal to a wedding ring.  When it gets put on, it will never come off.  What I like to tell potential partners is, if you can envision yourself calling Me Master when we are 85 years old, and you still carry the same desire to serve Me, then we can discuss the future of a relationship.  If you're not in it forever, or if you're not willing to give it all you have, then what's the point of a collar to begin with?  If it's not real, it's just another clothing accessory. 
 
LordDominik



lilriv -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/11/2006 11:33:17 PM)

Personally, I don't see the two as even being in the same category. A ring signifies a life-long committment. A collar is a commitment, but it doesn't necessarily mean it's for life.



smilezz -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/12/2006 5:22:26 AM)

I was thinking about this a little bit more.  While i have given my thoughts on collars, and i now do have a wedding ring.  I believe what the "real" difference is in the piece of paper you sign when getting married.  One can slip a ring on a finger, but it can also be taken off.  I have taken mine off to clean it, when i am working with harsh chemicals...etc.  When Thorns and i got married we did not have our wedding rings with us, they did not make it in time for the ceremony, does that make us not married?  No.  

I have stated before that a collar can be removed and one can still be owned...one can remove their ring(s) and still be married.  The "legalities" is in the paper.

Happy Wednesday y'all!

~smilezz~



LL1aintbehavin -> RE: Collar vs wedding ring (4/12/2006 8:35:07 AM)

This is a topic very close to my heart at the moment.  I have been married and divorced twice, and yes jaded on the issue.  I have been collared only once, to the love of my life.  I have no real wish or desire to be married again, as this is the most intense relationship that I have ever been in.
Issue.  I am Canadian and He is American.  I am on "vacation" here in the states, and have to appear in Canada again every six months to keep my status as "legal" visitor.  At any time I can be refused entry back here.
My Dom has formally proposed to me.  He says he wants to marry me, for life, and hold my leash forever, that it is not that we have to, but He wants to.
To me the collar means so much more, but for the legalities to keep us together, we will be married as well, as to be separated from Him scares me more than any marriage

aintbehavin.
Well, they say the third time is the charm.



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