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Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 4:50:36 PM   
supportourtroops


Posts: 37
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		Feelings on giving your DOM your passwords to mail accounts and cm?
Do you feel the DOM should be required to also give you his then?
How soon into the relationship should this be given?

< Message edited by supportourtroops -- 11/21/2009 4:57:03 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 4:54:58 PM   
submissiveboy76


Posts: 37
Joined: 2/9/2008
Status: offline 		Once you are in a committed D/s relationship, I believe it's the Domme's prerogative to be able to read any of the sub's messages and control his online persona in the same way that he is controlled in real life.  I don't believe that the sub has any right to his Domme's password. 

(in reply to supportourtroops)
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RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 4:58:26 PM   
GoddessImaginos


Posts: 1493
Joined: 8/5/2009
From: A small blue planet near Alpha Centauri
Status: offline 		In all things, remember that you are still a living human being with rights, and never let anyone tell you differently.

edited by Me in afterthought, due to the fact that giving out personal information to others is almost never a good idea.

< Message edited by GoddessImaginos -- 11/21/2009 5:04:28 PM >

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RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 4:59:25 PM   
HimNbabygirl


Posts: 645
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Knoxville, TN and Somewhere, WV
Status: offline 		i gave my passwords and user names to my Master. He never asked for them, i volunteered them to Him as i did not want to hide anything from Him. i also realize this gives Him access to change anything He wishes, email address, passwords, settings, profiles, etc. but i trust Him to keep me safe in all. i have never asked Him for His passwords or even where he has accounts. i feel that information is none of my concern. Again, i trust Him. Then again W/we are in more of Master/slave relationship than a Dominant/submissive.

His baby girl

(in reply to supportourtroops)
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RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:01:20 PM   
Aylee


Posts: 24103
Joined: 10/14/2007
Status: offline 		This always amazes me, as everyone that joined this site agreed NOT to give out their password.  It is in the rules. 

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RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:02:23 PM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		He has all of my passwords to every account I have. Sometimes he even posts as me.
I know a few of his passwords. I have no problem with any of that.

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RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:05:24 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		Ihave the passwords to our joint accounts.  I *think* he has given me passwords to his own.  I have not done the same. I don't want his.

Not as a matter of trust.  more a matter of I think it is important for us to each have lives of our own, that foster our individual identities. 

I had and have friends that I have known longer than I have known him.  So does he.  I have friends that I have made since he and I met that have no common ground (other than me) with him.

And I am tired and half intoxicated so I am not sure this made sense,,,LOL


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(in reply to HimNbabygirl)
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RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:06:22 PM   
HimNbabygirl


Posts: 645
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Knoxville, TN and Somewhere, WV
Status: offline 		If you check O/our profile, W/we are listed as a couple so He has as much right to the password as i do.


His baby girl

(in reply to Aylee)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:10:59 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

In all things, remember that you are still a living human being with rights, and never let anyone tell you differently.

edited by Me in afterthought, due to the fact that giving out personal information to others is almost never a good idea.

< Message edited by GoddessImaginos -- 11/21/2009 8:04:28 PM >


Agreed.

I have in the past asked a boy to log in and show me, randomly. I totally trusted him. I just wanted to make him experience anxiety over having his privacy violated. He had written communications with other Dommes, though they were all above board. I knew about his before though, so that was ok. He was so nervous as I made him read them out loud. He smiled though when there were posts when he talked about how great I was. At the end, I gave him a kiss and told him that he was a good boy. It brought us closer.

But I wouldn't have wanted his password all the time. My personal opinion is that everyone has the right to a certain amount of privacy. Also, we need to be able to trust someone.

However, if you are into being micromanaged, this could be hot. Just limit it perhaps to CM mail. Never let it be, say, your online banking password.

- LA

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Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:11:35 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline 		As far as 'should you' - I have most of my fiance's passwords (he tends to use the same one for most stuff) including financial stuff like paypal, and he has been *told* all of mine but doesn't remember most of them...though I've switched to using his main password for most of my stuff too, on the off chance he needs to use it.

That being said - we live together, we're getting married in 2 months, and there's an actual need for me to know his passwords (mainly so I can access stuff while he's at work, or give him information found on the home computer) so I don't see it as a power exchange thing, but rather as a 'working together' thing.

I'd never give my passwords to someone if I didn't know them well enough to trust them with it completely...asking us what to do kinda shows you haven't reached that place with him yet. So I'd hold off.

(in reply to HimNbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:12:04 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		He's never asked for mine but if he did I'd have zero problems with doing so. I have absolutely nothing to hide.

I've never asked him for his nor do I have any desire to do so. That's his choice. It's not a requirement for me.

(in reply to HimNbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:13:02 PM   
Llyren


Posts: 637
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline 		I've never given out my passwords to anyone.  Not even my late, unlamented spouse.  Perhaps if I were ever, and this is highly unlikely to ever occur, in a serious relationship where we were living together, I might.  But I take my passwords very seriously.  Same with my banking information.  My online life is at the moment of far more importance than my rl life. so anything that would jeopardize that is not acceptable.




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(in reply to HimNbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:14:51 PM   
DontLookBack


Posts: 11
Joined: 1/14/2009
Status: offline 		I think if you are willing to trust Him with your life and well being passwords are a no brainer, you either trust Him or you don't..if you do then you won't care He has your passwords, if you don't, why is He your Dom?

(in reply to supportourtroops)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:20:09 PM   
HimNbabygirl


Posts: 645
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Knoxville, TN and Somewhere, WV
Status: offline
quote:

However, if you are into being micromanaged, this could be hot. Just limit it perhaps to CM mail. Never let it be, say, your online banking password.

- LA



i have not handed over the bank yet lol, but when it gets to the point of being 24/7, to be honest, i probably would, or at the least be willing to show Him what i have, what i've spent, and what i've spent it on. Just today i asked His permission to buy some really killer heels {self confessed shoe whore here} and i'll admit, it was hot especially when i looked at the sales girl when she asked if i would like to purchase the shoes and i told her i would, but i need to ask permission first.


His baby girl

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:21:02 PM   
ncbabe


Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline 		I give him whatever passwords he asks for.  Everything about me is open to him, the only privacy I have is that which he allows me.  I am happy with this arrangement.  I like that he can access any part of my life.  I trust him and he does not violate that trust.

It never crossed my mind to ask him for his passwords.  As he controls me it is logical (to me) that he would sometimes need my passwords.  I have no use for his passwords because I do not control him.

_____________________________

As we think, so we become.

Nichts ist unmöglich


(in reply to supportourtroops)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:21:18 PM   
Rhodes85


Posts: 445
Joined: 11/15/2008
From: Nova Scotia, Canada
Status: offline 		'This always amazes me, as everyone that joined this site agreed NOT to give out their password.  It is in the rules. '

I was thinking the same thing.

Personally I never understood why anyone would want someone elses password on here. I assume to check and see what their cm mail activity is like but that does imply that the person asking for the password has some trust issues. Why else would you want it?

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(in reply to DontLookBack)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:23:09 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		I have occassionally thought that it would be fun for us to exchange passwords, but have never done it. I mean, really- who has the time?

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:23:57 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DontLookBack

I think if you are willing to trust Him with your life and well being passwords are a no brainer, you either trust Him or you don't..if you do then you won't care He has your passwords, if you don't, why is He your Dom?


Whoa there...I remember this girl posting about a month ago regarding a hot soldier Dom, so the guy she's posting about right now is either in Afghanistan or someone she's been seeing for under a month.

I don't think many people are willing to trust someone they've only known a month with their "life and well being" - oh sure in the general sense of "if I go home with you you won't hack me to pieces" but that usually isn't phrased that way. At that point it's generally "I trust you enough to be with you, and I trust that you'll respect my safeword if I have one."

It's really creepy to me how people expect others to throw common sense out the window just because the guy they're starting to see is a "Dom" rather than a "boyfriend" - I mean yeah it's easier for someone to murder you while you're tied up, but if they're the type of person who freaking murders people they're in a relationship with, I don't think that BDSM has anything to do with it.

Girl dates boy for a month. Boy asks for the key to her apartment. Is it unthinkable for girl to say no?
Sub dates Dom for a month. Dom orders her to have a key made. Is she a bad submissive for not feeling comfortable with this?

In dating, you can decide to be exclusive with someone after the first date. That makes them "your boyfriend" or "your Dom" - but do you really know them well enough to trust them with every aspect of your life - your bank records, your house key, your car, etc?

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 11/21/2009 5:27:14 PM >

(in reply to DontLookBack)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:26:07 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HimNbabygirl

quote:

However, if you are into being micromanaged, this could be hot. Just limit it perhaps to CM mail. Never let it be, say, your online banking password.

- LA



i have not handed over the bank yet lol, but when it gets to the point of being 24/7, to be honest, i probably would, or at the least be willing to show Him what i have, what i've spent, and what i've spent it on. Just today i asked His permission to buy some really killer heels {self confessed shoe whore here} and i'll admit, it was hot especially when i looked at the sales girl when she asked if i would like to purchase the shoes and i told her i would, but i need to ask permission first.


His baby girl



Wow- that is sooo not cool, involving others in your kink without their prior consent. Ew.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to HimNbabygirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:28:20 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

quote:

ORIGINAL: HimNbabygirl

quote:

However, if you are into being micromanaged, this could be hot. Just limit it perhaps to CM mail. Never let it be, say, your online banking password.

- LA



i have not handed over the bank yet lol, but when it gets to the point of being 24/7, to be honest, i probably would, or at the least be willing to show Him what i have, what i've spent, and what i've spent it on. Just today i asked His permission to buy some really killer heels {self confessed shoe whore here} and i'll admit, it was hot especially when i looked at the sales girl when she asked if i would like to purchase the shoes and i told her i would, but i need to ask permission first.


His baby girl



Wow- that is sooo not cool, involving others in your kink without their prior consent. Ew.


Oh that's totally overreacting, she probably thought it was a "have to ask my husband cuz the economy sucks and I don't want to make an out of budget splurge purchase without seeing if we can handle it" type thing.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 20
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