RE: Giving Over Your Passwords

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Giving Over Your Passwords

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:28:25 PM

HimNbabygirl

Posts: 645
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Knoxville, TN and Somewhere, WV
Status: offline

i didn't tell her who i needed to ask permission from, and it did just pop out, i didn't think about it.she just looked and me and said ok, let me know what they say.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:29:49 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

Roger that- I completely understand.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to HimNbabygirl)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:32:39 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Oh that's totally overreacting, she probably thought it was a "have to ask my husband cuz the economy sucks and I don't want to make an out of budget splurge purchase without seeing if we can handle it" type thing.

I agree with Bella. It's not uncommon for 'nilla folks to check with their SO before making a purchase, esp if the SO keeps track of the household budget.

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to Elisabella)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:42:48 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rhodes85

'This always amazes me, as everyone that joined this site agreed NOT to give out their password. It is in the rules. '

I was thinking the same thing.

Personally I never understood why anyone would want someone elses password on here. I assume to check and see what their cm mail activity is like but that does imply that the person asking for the password has some trust issues. Why else would you want it?

Considering that I don't even have an active profile here so there's no cm mail to even read....It isn't a trust issue for us. It's a control issue. He likes to have as much control over my life as possible.

_____________________________

The Red

(in reply to Rhodes85)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:43:47 PM

ncbabe

Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline

Just realized the original post has been edited to add the question of how soon is okay to hand over passwords.

I did not hand over passwords immediately. It took time before we reached that level of trust and understanding. It was not 'I am your Dom, I own you, now give me your all your passwords'. How much time it takes is entirely dependent upon your relationship. But if you're having to ask us how long it should take, then chances are you are not ready to hand them over. Especially if you are talking about the soldier guy you only just started communicating with.

_____________________________

As we think, so we become.

Nichts ist unmöglich

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:45:35 PM

ncbabe

Posts: 1060
Joined: 4/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

It isn't a trust issue for us. It's a control issue. He likes to have as much control over my life as possible.

Same here. The point is that he has access, not whether he uses the account.

_____________________________

As we think, so we become.

Nichts ist unmöglich

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 5:55:03 PM

HimNbabygirl

Posts: 645
Joined: 11/4/2009
From: Knoxville, TN and Somewhere, WV
Status: offline

This is true. i made the choice to hand over my passwords. He never asked for them, i volunteered because i trust Him and this was 1 way of telling Him that, if i didn't trust him, i never would have handed them over. Trust your mind on this one, not your heart. your heart may be a little befuddled especially if this is a new relationship. Also, is he asking for the passwords or or you just wondering if you should give them to him? If he is asking or demanding and you are questioning that decision, maybe that is your head telling you that you are not ready. Talk to him about it, find out why he wants your passwords and explain that you are uncomfortable doing this at this point and why. If you are wondering if you should hand them over, or wondering why he hasn't asked for them, talk with him about it. Ask him his thoughts and feelings. Either way, talk with him. Good communication is the key to any good relationship.

His baby girl

(in reply to ncbabe)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 6:59:23 PM

peachgirl

Posts: 396
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

He's never asked for mine but if he did I'd have zero problems with doing so. I have absolutely nothing to hide.

I've never asked him for his nor do I have any desire to do so. That's his choice. It's not a requirement for me.

what she said.

_____________________________

Have you seen that girl in the corner?
I'd like to take her out of her chains
Cause if I had my way with you baby
I would be changing your life today.
- Bob Welch

(in reply to littlewonder)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 7:07:19 PM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

My Mistress never required my passwords. She never felt a need to read my emails and I was perfectly happy with that.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to supportourtroops)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 7:33:18 PM

AnimusRex

Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella
It's really creepy to me how people expect others to throw common sense out the window just because the guy they're starting to see is a "Dom" rather than a "boyfriend" -

Exactly. As I have mentioned before, just throwing the cloak of "Alternative Lifestyle" over a relationship doesn't mean all the rules of commonsense go away. There is a reasonable time to date exclusively, meet the family, merge bank accounts, move in together....etc. We are getting married next March, btw.

Having said that- Kim and share everything. Not out of a sense of control or trust, its just easier if I can ask her to log in and check my account, or vice versa.
But even though we could check each others' emails, we normally don't. We do believe it is good for each other to have an alone place. I have an office (My "Man Cave"- heh) and she has her office/ sewing room. It works for us. I know other couples enjoy the "I'm spying on you" and it is erotic for them, buts its not our kink.

(in reply to Elisabella)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 7:43:43 PM

CaringandReal

Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

Feelings on giving your DOM your passwords to mail accounts and cm?
Do you feel the DOM should be required to also give you his then?
How soon into the relationship should this be given?

Feelings? I feel fine about it. In fact, if that happened I would be flattered that he cared and would walk around with a puffed-up head for awhile. :)

Give me his? Oh no It's a power exchange and a power exchange doesn't mean that every time the sub gives up power the dom gives up some too! That would be so... wrong (not to mention boring!)

How soon? Varies with the relationship and the person. How can you set a fixed time, when one person you talk to may be a villian and one a saint (albeit most are somewhere in-between)? I assume dominants know what they want. If he doesn't ask for this, it means he doesn't want it. Don't offer it until or unless asked for them, and you've known him a while (at least several months, several meaning more than three), and you really trust him or her. Be especially careful if you have children or family or others who could be hurt/affected by your offering passwords willy-nilly to people you meet online. You own those dependent on you that: you need to be responsible for their welfare, if not your own.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to supportourtroops)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 9:17:27 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: supportourtroops

Feelings on giving your DOM your passwords to mail accounts and cm?
Do you feel the DOM should be required to also give you his then?
How soon into the relationship should this be given?

i offered mine to my Master very shortly after We became serious. He had a bad experience in the past, and i wanted Him to have peace. i believe if you have nothing to hide, hide nothing. He offered Him passwords to me as well.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to supportourtroops)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 10:12:09 PM

antipode

Posts: 1787
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

quote:

Feelings on giving your DOM your passwords to mail accounts and cm?

For what purpose? So he can read a girl's emails, and see what she has written?

I have to tell you that grown men that think this is in any way related to dominance are very insecure in their gender identity - probably the same type of males that insist on being called "sir" or "king" or "lard".

All you get from sitting behind a PC reading your own email, and someone else's, is a fat ass.

(in reply to supportourtroops)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 10:52:16 PM

Surrenderwithin

Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline

My Master has my passwords, although he rarely if ever uses them. I know his passwords as well because he has me log on and do things for him at various times. I do not wish to keep any part of my life from him. However, if I were not living with him and with him in real life he would not have my passwords and access to my life in this capacity. Then again, I would not have surrendered as a slave under other circumstances.

_____________________________

"There are 2 kinds of strengths: the strength to lead, and to follow; the strength to control, and to yield. There are 2 kinds of power: the power to strip another's soul bare, and the power to stand naked." - Yaldah Tovah
*15 Nz Pts*

(in reply to supportourtroops)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 10:55:32 PM

Llyren

Posts: 637
Joined: 3/5/2007
From: Illinois
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

All you get from sitting behind a PC reading your own email, and someone else's, is a fat ass.

I already have one of those, thanks.

If you're already living together, or have been together for a long time, I see nothing wrong with it. I just think it's something you should save till there's history.

I won't say I will never give out my passwords, but I haven't yet, and it's not likely I ever will.

_____________________________

I'm not perving. I'm compensating for my myopia. So nyah.

Member of Cock-Suckers for World Peace

"Character is what you are in the dark."

- Lord John Whorfin

(in reply to antipode)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 11:04:34 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Wow- that is sooo not cool, involving others in your kink without their prior consent. Ew.

It's not a "kink", it's a facet of her relationship. Heaven forbid a gay man had to let the teller know he wanted his "lover" to have access to the account too and douse the bank employee in his "kink" also.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 11:11:20 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

I have to tell you that grown men that think this is in any way related to dominance are very insecure in their gender identity - probably the same type of males that insist on being called "sir" or "king" or "lard".

Pure genius, I swear.

As if every facet of WIITWD could not be reduced to the same foundation with this flaccid logic.

Want to have your submissive fix your dinner every night? Why? Too lazy to get off your fat ass and cook?
Want to be able to spank your sub's ass till it's red? Why? Need to vent some emotional frustration from anger issues?
Want to collar your submissive? Why? Afraid she wouldn't stick around if she felt more free to leave?

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to antipode)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 11:21:01 PM

Elipsis

Posts: 301
Joined: 7/8/2009
Status: offline

Outside of the BDSM context the amount of time required for me to share passwords is about 10 years after marriage...

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 11:26:41 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Wow- that is sooo not cool, involving others in your kink without their prior consent. Ew.

It's not a "kink", it's a facet of her relationship. Heaven forbid a gay man had to let the teller know he wanted his "lover" to have access to the account too and douse the bank employee in his "kink" also.

Did you miss the OP's and my posts at the top of page 2?

(in reply to NihilusZero)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Giving Over Your Passwords - 11/21/2009 11:30:56 PM

NihilusZero

Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Did you miss the OP's and my posts at the top of page 2?

Does that mean your comment was tongue-in-cheek (as a hard-to-read inside joke) or that your concern over her "kink imposition" was assuaged because it was accidental?

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Profile

Post #: 40