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RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 8:27:06 AM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		I have learned more about both kink and non-kink things on Bondage.com than I have at CM. This includes the importance of timely system backups.


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"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to mercyriddle)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 8:27:55 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mercyriddle

Yes, because I live in a bubble and have never encountered a single person with less then honourable intent in my life. And then I came to CM and was like What? People don't have my best interests in mind? Whatever will I do?

Also CM is totally the first time I have ever been on the internet, and the mediocre attempts at getting into my big girl panties totally scare me, and do not make me laugh in anyway.

Seriously, what part of my post makes you think I think like that? What I am saying is that it's important reminder that no matter what your ideas of the BDSM community are, there is every kind of person here, and that includes creeps. And yes, I was surprised to get obnoxious emails from women, because I had never received them before.

And I know why I attract them. I am a young breast having sub. And there are a lot of people out there who only need that as a green light.

It's lucky I have my mind to fend off their nefarious advances.





Since you addressed me directly, I will in turn do the same. The reason I approached it from the manner I did is that you bothered to post this at all. Most of us, especially on the boards, are mature adults who are already well aware of the games people play on the internet. We are also not remotely surprised when someone manages to throw us some new kind of assinine we have never even imagined previously. We feel no need to bitch, gripe, or warn. I don't think it would have been realistic to think it would be any other way. The fact that you came here to "warn" others after feeling as though you had been slighted or outright offended wreaks of immaturity. Guys and gals know the score. They know, more or less what to expect from an online environment such as this.

I said what I did about you attracting morons for a reason. You want to blame the people, but in all honesty, aside from the idiots that contact anything with tits, the quality you attract is directly proportional to the quality you are offering. That is not meant to sound nearly as nasty as it does. Look at your profile and see what it is you are advertising. If that's not an accurate representation, then rectify that. If it is representative, then look deeper. There was a time when I was a highly unhealthy person. I attracted unhealthy people. I am not in that place anymore, but I did learn from having been there that people do not attract what they want, they attract what they are. If this is offbase advice, then by all means just read it and let it go. Please take a long pause and consider it though.

If you want to see a profile that has NEVER attracted troll mail, take a look at mine. I am not saying that in a holier than thou mentality. I don't know HOW I got so lucky actually. I just never have had to endure that particular issue. If I knew how to bottle it for others, I would. Keep in mind this has ALWAYS been the case. It was the case long before I had a note about my partner on there and long before I stated I was dealing with personal stuff and wouldn't be around much. Honestly, if there is anything there of help to you, by all means, feel free to work with it in a way that fits you. Just please don't copy and paste it. Thanks!

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.


(in reply to mercyriddle)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 8:31:15 AM   
Venatrix


Posts: 2238
Joined: 11/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mercyriddle

I remember reading somewhere that no matter what a person says they are on the net, they are actually an 80 year old Chinese man in panties.



Yep.  That's why I got rid of that photo as my avatar.  It wasn't pulling the hot blokes like I'd hoped it would.

(in reply to mercyriddle)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 8:31:19 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		Personally, i believe that the on-line community is much creepier and far more rude than the "real world".  The internet provides a level of anonymity that brings out a courage that many people would not dare demonstrate in real life. 

In real life, random strangers would not approach you and begin their first dialogue with you by demanding that you get on your knees and suck their cock.  But there are loser "Doms" who think that is an appropriate way to approach a potential sub on-line.  That type of behavior would earn them a slap in the face in the "real world", but on-line there is no commensurate Pavlovian response to train them that that type of behavior is unacceptable.  So they go on being assholes.

It's sad to hear that total strangers think that it is okay to make rude comments on your weight.  But from what i've read in some of these threads, you are not the first BBW to receive such treatment.

If i had any sense, i would realize that CollarMe has taught me to stay off the internet, and meet people strictly in real life, where the a-hole count is much lower (or where you can at least see that the a-hole is actually a 13 year old kid fishing for wank fodder).  But i guess i'm a masochist, because i keep ignoring that lesson. 

The one bright spot that i've found is that every now and then i read some really great responses from some really smart and interesting people on this site, and it renews my faith and keeps me coming back to CM. 

Stick around, kid.  There are some good apples on this site hidden amongst the multitude of rotten apples.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 11/28/2009 8:38:33 AM >

(in reply to mercyriddle)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 8:35:49 AM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mercyriddle

I remember reading somewhere that no matter what a person says they are on the net, they are actually an 80 year old Chinese man in panties.



Damn- I've been outed.

(in reply to mercyriddle)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 8:38:29 AM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

Personally, i believe that the on-line community is much creepier and far more rude than the "real world".  The internet provides a level of anonymity that brings out a courage that many people would not dare demonstrate in real life. 


true-

Its like the old saying (attributed to Lincoln: "Any man can handle adversity- but if you want to test a man's character, give him power."

Anonymity gives you the power to do things you otherwise wouldn't. And it shows people's character, for better or worse.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 8:39:35 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: mercyriddle

I remember reading somewhere that no matter what a person says they are on the net, they are actually an 80 year old Chinese man in panties.



Damn- I've been outed.


I knew there was a reason your picture stopped at the waist! LOL

And you know.... that 80 year old Chinese man in panties might look rather scrumptious to that 90 year old Chinese Mistress. Just sayin! There's someone for everyone!

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.


(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 8:59:56 AM   
Viridana


Posts: 754
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Since you addressed me directly, I w......... blah blah blah blah........way that fits you. Just please don't copy and paste it. Thanks!

lovingpet


Hmmm... wow. High horse much?

I quite enjoyed the OP. It's a nice feeling on these boards for a change to hear of people who have learned something, either from someone else or by themselves, even if the lessons learned are what you deem as soooo common sense.  Well I can tell you one thing I've learned on CM (and in real life) and that is that common sense is not really so common.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 9:01:59 AM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mercyriddle

Yes, because I live in a bubble and have never encountered a single person with less then honourable intent in my life. And then I came to CM and was like What? People don't have my best interests in mind? Whatever will I do?

Also CM is totally the first time I have ever been on the internet, and the mediocre attempts at getting into my big girl panties totally scare me, and do not make me laugh in anyway.

Seriously, what part of my post makes you think I think like that? What I am saying is that it's important reminder that no matter what your ideas of the BDSM community are, there is every kind of person here, and that includes creeps. And yes, I was surprised to get obnoxious emails from women, because I had never received them before.

And I know why I attract them. I am a young breast having sub. And there are a lot of people out there who only need that as a green light.

It's lucky I have my mind to fend off their nefarious advances.





Why did you expect CM to be a fairy tale book for you? Also with this attitude you can only keep attracting what you already have been.  With that said, you now have learned there are real people behind these s/n's and in real life there are people that we should stay away from. People coming to these boards are not different then the real world, just people think this is a magic land and lots of goodies are sparkling around.

I have learned a lot from the posters these past two years. When i have posted a question, I got honest answers from them, stated from their point of view. I treat the posters with respect, though a few times i wanted to pick up my frying pan and pop them.  The majority here will listen to you. Some attack with words, which i find funny, but this you can see in real time life too. Name calling is done all over the place including internet and off the net. Excluding that, if you have a serious question and post it without blasting cm land on both sides, you will get a variety of answers to think and ponder on.

What Cm could have taught you is to ponder and think about your presentation? How do you project yourself? How do you let the people who email you effect you, and why? Finally if you want to continue with Cm, how can you rethink your perspective? Everyone gets emails that are garbage. Heck i still get garbage snail mail. I am not going to write an editorial to the newspaper about all the ills in the snail mail box. That is just a waste dont you think? Can you see doing this on a message board will bring the same results? Sometimes we can change our perspective or we can continue to complain and point our fingers outwards to them. Being young has nothing to do with it imho. Or we can look at ourself and not get into the woo -is-me attitude.

I am not a Domme. I am a submissive. If i was looking for someone to meet and be interested, what would i want them to know about me? How would i present myself? Do i put my best foot forward in posting a question or thought, or do they see me as a complainer? For me i would want to attract what i would like in a person, so i need to present that in me.  Simply stated, I stay away from people who feel they need to put a whole group down or even a person to make them look better. Not interested in that mind set.

blessings
wisdomtogive

_____________________________

Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to mercyriddle)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 9:08:49 AM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Viridana

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

Since you addressed me directly, I w......... blah blah blah blah........way that fits you. Just please don't copy and paste it. Thanks!

lovingpet


Hmmm... wow. High horse much?

I quite enjoyed the OP. It's a nice feeling on these boards for a change to hear of people who have learned something, either from someone else or by themselves, even if the lessons learned are what you deem as soooo common sense.  Well I can tell you one thing I've learned on CM (and in real life) and that is that common sense is not really so common.



Exactly why I stated that was NOT my intent. I normally offer such in private, but erred judgement wise (not feeling well). I said what I did because this offer has resulted in the past in my profile being copied and pasted. I don't like that very much. At the same time others have been able to benefit and appreciated it, so I am not one to shut down in the face of a few morons that don't know how to conduct themselves.

Lessons learned are great. This one is a tad rudimentary. That has been my only point.

lovingpet

_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.


(in reply to Viridana)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 9:17:18 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		i have learned that there is many more uot there that like things that i do. granted there are going to be creeps on here but there are many more that are genuine and true

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proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 9:32:47 AM   
frankx


Posts: 31
Joined: 10/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: mercyriddle

I remember reading somewhere that no matter what a person says they are on the net, they are actually an 80 year old Chinese man in panties.



Yep.  That's why I got rid of that photo as my avatar.  It wasn't pulling the hot blokes like I'd hoped it would.


 Frankly I'm shocked! (well I hope thats the right smiley)

< Message edited by frankx -- 11/28/2009 9:43:50 AM >

(in reply to Venatrix)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 9:57:32 AM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

New lesbian subs are a magnet for men. OP I can damn near guarantee that those rude letters from dommes are actually from men. One and all.

I'm not part of any 'community'. I'm not a subby sister. There are a lot more people here I don't want to associate with than those I do.

I go to the same grocery store as half this town. It doesn't mean that the woman standing next to me at the deli counter and I are fated to be best friends. We aren't. Same here.

With all due respect
Really, now why would a male have any interest in a lesbian? The chances of anything deeper than a friendship are moot? I can not see why anyone would waste the time to send out rude letters simply because they may disapprove of one’s sexual persuasion. I have seen behaviors from males I never could have imagined, what makes you think that a female is incapable of acting just as slimy or rude?



_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 10:08:04 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		A few years back I knew a guy that pretended to be a female lesbian, online so he could play. I doubt friendship had much to do with it, though he did eventually fall in love with one of those lesbians and things came crashing down.
Not everyone is looking for a relationship. There are more than a few people just looking for some fantasy to spark some wet/hard stuff, male and female. However, I have never met a female pretending to be a gay male online. Could happen I guess, but any female willing to type-fuck online with anyone probably does not need the pretense of being gay to snag a guy to play with.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

New lesbian subs are a magnet for men. OP I can damn near guarantee that those rude letters from dommes are actually from men. One and all.

I'm not part of any 'community'. I'm not a subby sister. There are a lot more people here I don't want to associate with than those I do.

I go to the same grocery store as half this town. It doesn't mean that the woman standing next to me at the deli counter and I are fated to be best friends. We aren't. Same here.

With all due respect
Really, now why would a male have any interest in a lesbian? The chances of anything deeper than a friendship are moot? I can not see why anyone would waste the time to send out rude letters simply because they may disapprove of one’s sexual persuasion. I have seen behaviors from males I never could have imagined, what makes you think that a female is incapable of acting just as slimy or rude?




(in reply to Acer49)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 10:19:29 AM   
CelticSubM


Posts: 102
Joined: 3/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

A few years back I knew a guy that pretended to be a female lesbian, online so he could play. I doubt friendship had much to do with it, though he did eventually fall in love with one of those lesbians and things came crashing down.
Not everyone is looking for a relationship. There are more than a few people just looking for some fantasy to spark some wet/hard stuff, male and female. However, I have never met a female pretending to be a gay male online. Could happen I guess, but any female willing to type-fuck online with anyone probably does not need the pretense of being gay to snag a guy to play with.



That's an intereresting story. Obviously, there are lots of persons of all preferences and genders who are only looking for cybersex. There are lots of easier and faster ways to find cybersex than by putting up a profile on CM (or similar sites). Pretty much anyone can hang around IRC or ICQ or AOL for a few minutes and have plenty of offers for that. Why look for it the hard way?

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 10:45:22 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		I have a profile up here.. and on AOL, Alt, and on Fet, and on Bondage.. they are pretty much the same deal all over (to promote my groups). In this day of MySpace, Facebook, twitter, and sites galore.. is putting up a profile anywhere hard? Or.. is it just spreading out the potential of making yourself known?

I don't know that guy any more, but I am going to guess he probably has spread his options out over as many avenues as he can.

(in reply to CelticSubM)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 10:55:45 AM   
CelticSubM


Posts: 102
Joined: 3/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I have a profile up here.. and on AOL, Alt, and on Fet, and on Bondage.. they are pretty much the same deal all over (to promote my groups). In this day of MySpace, Facebook, twitter, and sites galore.. is putting up a profile anywhere hard? Or.. is it just spreading out the potential of making yourself known?

I don't know that guy any more, but I am going to guess he probably has spread his options out over as many avenues as he can.




To each his own, I suppose. Putting up a profile isn't that much work, but if someone is only looking for cybersex, it's a lot more work than necessary. I suspect there are also those who enjoy creating a false persona for its own sake, as part of some kind of elaborate personal role playing game, in which cybersex is only one element.

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 11:01:24 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline 		The answer is: have you talked to your partner about it?

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 11:55:58 AM   
Hierodule


Posts: 597
Joined: 9/22/2009
Status: offline 		This site taught me that I am lucky to have a Master that I trust and am compatible with.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Things CollarMe has taught me about BDSM - 11/28/2009 12:01:47 PM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		OP:
 
These site has taught me:

There are ppl with high integrity and regard for human life
There are compassionate folks everywhere
YOU never know where you will recieve great wisdoms
To question ingrained belief patterns
To listen to the dull and ignorant for they too have their story
PPL will reach back..from miles if you reach out in isolation
To stand stronger in my truth and D style
That  opinion is NOT fact
That from personal experience comes personal response
To love
To laugh
 
 
GM


< Message edited by GYPSYMAMBO -- 11/28/2009 12:02:58 PM >

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"Better served women will better serve the world"

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"A turd is still a turd even if it is shellaced!"

(in reply to Hierodule)
Profile   Post #: 40
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