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RE: Doms and apologizing... - 12/4/2009 7:34:06 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lizbetbathory

to apoligize is a good thing never a bad thing



I strongly disagree with this comment!~

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Doms and apologizing... - 12/4/2009 8:26:38 PM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lizbetbathory

to apoligize is a good thing never a bad thing


I completely disagree! Every unneccessary apology cheapens the real deal.

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(in reply to Lizbetbathory)
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RE: Doms and apologizing... - 12/5/2009 6:35:11 AM   
kyraofMists


Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lizbetbathory

to apoligize is a good thing never a bad thing


I completely disagree! Every unneccessary apology cheapens the real deal.


And also the apologies that are not really meant.... and the apologies that mean so little that the next day the person is repeating the same behavior again...

For me, if you are not willing to change the behavior that caused the apology, then don't apologize to me because it will have no weight with me.

Knight's Kyra

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(in reply to lucylucy)
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RE: Doms and apologizing... - 12/5/2009 8:59:41 AM   
lucylucy


Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists


And also the apologies that are not really meant.... and the apologies that mean so little that the next day the person is repeating the same behavior again...

For me, if you are not willing to change the behavior that caused the apology, then don't apologize to me because it will have no weight with me.

Knight's Kyra

Exactly! When an apology is a lame substitute for behavior change, a placating device, or an attempt at a "get out of jail free" card, it is worse than nothing. In those situations, the apology actually does damage.

< Message edited by lucylucy -- 12/5/2009 9:00:20 AM >

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

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RE: Doms and apologizing... - 12/5/2009 10:12:23 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprincess3

Is it "Dom-like" for a Dom to admit when they have said something out of line and apologize?  I would think that it would make them more of a man to admit their faults and apologize when it is appropriate.  Am I wrong?  Are Dominant men allowed to say whatever they wish, knowing it hurts their sub's feelings deeply?  Does she not deserve an apology because she is a submissive?



recoqnizing a mistake and appologize for it..is a way to keep a relation healthy aslonmg as you learn from it.
Without..it propably will end some time. ( at least when mistakes often happen)

(in reply to daddysprincess3)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Doms and apolgizing... - 12/5/2009 11:36:42 AM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Okay, it's now time for you to learn the difference between a Dom and an asshole. Shaddup, you subs - there IS a difference!

A Dom cares about others and tries to develop them for what is best for them and for him.  An asshole simply wants things for himself.



I vote Steven for Dom of the month

(well, right behind my Sir of course.)


And I feel lucky that I can have Him on my friends list.

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

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RE: Doms and apologizing... - 12/5/2009 11:53:57 PM   
Acer49


Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprincess3

Is it "Dom-like" for a Dom to admit when they have said something out of line and apologize?  I would think that it would make them more of a man to admit their faults and apologize when it is appropriate.  Am I wrong?  Are Dominant men allowed to say whatever they wish, knowing it hurts their sub's feelings deeply?  Does she not deserve an apology because she is a submissive?


1-No, anyone should appropriate and apologize if need be
2-I will assume this in unconsensual, so the answer is no
3- Regardless, she is a human and a woman and is entitled to be treated with respect and dignity unless she requests otherwise

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(in reply to daddysprincess3)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Doms and apolgizing... - 12/6/2009 4:17:41 PM   
redwoodgirl


Posts: 243
Joined: 1/10/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprincess3

He is not my Dom, I was under consideration for being his.  I told him something he did earlier in the day hurt my feelings, and his first response was "I don't give a shit."  This hurt my feelings more than the original reason I was upset, and I tried to explain to him that I felt he was disregarding my emotions, or the fact that they even existed.  He said my feelings should not be hurt, that he "makes the rules" and then demanded an apology from me for "bitching and complaining." 




Not a Dom, just an Ass

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(in reply to daddysprincess3)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Doms and apologizing... - 12/7/2009 12:32:25 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprincess3

Is it "Dom-like" for a Dom to admit when they have said something out of line and apologize?  I would think that it would make them more of a man to admit their faults and apologize when it is appropriate.  Am I wrong?  Are Dominant men allowed to say whatever they wish, knowing it hurts their sub's feelings deeply?  Does she not deserve an apology because she is a submissive?


We're dominant not perfect.

With that being said, I'm thinking this is more of a "he's wrong shouldn't he admit it" thread instead of a general inquery.
If one of my pets tried to "force me to admit I'm wrong" let alone tried to get random other people to agree they were right, they'd be more than likely be introduced to the cold side of my front door.

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(in reply to daddysprincess3)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Doms and apologizing... - 12/7/2009 4:18:58 PM   
rockspider


Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		Steven of course has this slightly iritating knack of always hitting the nail dead on the head. So I could only have wished OP welcome in the club of doormats.
Don't forget that there is one type of persons who don't have the need to apologise. For them it is perfectly allright to lie, cheat, svindle, use and abuse. Pointing it out to them that they are doing that sort of things will elicit a response like "I don't care", which is perfectly true that they don't. They are called psychopaths, sociopaths or more politically correct "dysfunctional personality disorder". Their victims can be meet in woman shelters, psych wards and similar places. At least the brainless ones who give them self away so early in the game can be avoided just on the block and delete button. It is the more clever and devious ones who are the real danger.
Nobody is perfect, however i have meet quite a few perfect assholes in my life

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Doms and apologizing... - 12/7/2009 7:12:23 PM   
irishdom2639


Posts: 3
Joined: 12/4/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U
We're dominant not perfect.

With that being said, I'm thinking this is more of a "he's wrong shouldn't he admit it" thread instead of a general inquery.
If one of my pets tried to "force me to admit I'm wrong" let alone tried to get random other people to agree they were right, they'd be more than likely be introduced to the cold side of my front door.


I completely agree. I believe that as a dom, we're still human. If I do something that I consider to be wrong, I man up and apologize. It's just the right thing to do. However, if my slave confronted me about it, and bitched for me to apologize, we'd be having one unpleasant conversation

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Doms and apologizing... - 12/8/2009 8:26:29 AM   
Domitianus


Posts: 27
Joined: 5/28/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysprincess3
I can not give my entire being and trust them to take care of me, if we can not even have a mature conversation about something such as this. 


Therein lies the answer to your original question. If you can't give your being and trust to a D-type who is unwilling to apologize for -- or is at least sensitive to -- hurting you emotionally, then apologizing is an appropriate expectation for any Dom you would wish to serve.

(in reply to daddysprincess3)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Doms and apolgizing... - 12/8/2009 8:52:46 AM   
fadedshadow


Posts: 751
Joined: 4/27/2009
From: a place
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

It's called being a decent human being.

This has zero to do with being a dom.



i agree with this person


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RE: Doms and apolgizing... - 12/8/2009 5:28:44 PM   
ThundersCry


Posts: 892
Status: offline 		Frankly I would tell him to F$%^&& off!
Then ask him hows THAT feel...

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Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Doms and apolgizing... - 12/9/2009 9:09:02 AM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		my Mistress is human and like A/all humans will err thats just being human. admiting the mistake and apoligizing makes a world of diffrence for me the diffrence of a truly caring compasionate Mistress and someone who is a uncaring individual that wouldnt notice if you left.

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RE: Doms and apolgizing... - 12/13/2009 1:55:14 PM   
OCONGALIEGH


Posts: 7
Joined: 12/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Okay, it's now time for you to learn the difference between a Dom and an asshole. Shaddup, you subs - there IS a difference!

A Dom cares about others and tries to develop them for what is best for them and for him.  An asshole simply wants things for himself.

You've seen his true colors and you don't like them.  If he was to collar you, it sure as heck wouldn't get better.

I'd suggest just getting to chat with some Doms, maybe at munches, so you can see what we're really like.


Exactly

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Doms and apolgizing... - 12/18/2009 12:03:56 PM   
LordShadow


Posts: 172
Joined: 7/13/2004
Status: offline 		As for apologizing for wrong doing...certainly.

But after reading through this, I see many references to this person being an asshole...has anyone asked what specifically hurt her feelings before coming to that conclusion? Is it not possible it is a recurring problem to which she was unwilling to adapt and he got to the point of "suck it up or move on?"

Something I have experienced in all the girls I have owned (three over the last 10 years or so), is that they can be emotionally sensitive to different things...usually you help them to adjust and gain the perspective needed to alter their perception of whatever it was that hurt their feelings, doesn't always work, but usually does.

When this does not resolve the problem, what is to be done? Should the Owner change to suit the owned ones feelings? Should the owned one suck it up? Or as someone mentioned perhaps they are just not compatible, and someone needed to move on.

The point is, how can you label him the asshole without knowing the details...just because he didn't care? What did he not care about?

JUst random thought, not intending to defend any particular party...just wondering.

Edited for typos

< Message edited by LordShadow -- 12/18/2009 12:05:17 PM >

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Shadow

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Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Doms and apolgizing... - 12/18/2009 12:53:31 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		I'm sorry this fucking thread is still going.


My bad.

Ron

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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Doms and apolgizing... - 12/18/2009 12:55:28 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		pffft. Fake.

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Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Doms and apolgizing... - 12/18/2009 1:06:57 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		lol, laying around in panties and calling the kettle black you old teapot.

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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Profile   Post #: 80
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