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ORIGINAL: timmaygirl

How bout at the end he told you how wonderfully sexy you were and how hard it made him (now that only works if he gets hard by those activities lol)
Humiliation is a multitude of things for me personally. There are the things that make me wet yup. Those are easy to explain because if it gets you off it just does.
As was mentioned before... allowing yourself to be vulnerable and emotionally transparent is extremely intimate. I think the other ladies did a bang up job with explaining those ones.
And then there is my final reason. I love to go to the mountains or the ocean and feel the smallness of it. Sometimes i get so wrapped up in day to day crap that i really feel like any decisions i make are earth changing and i feel too "big" for my environment. When i stand by the ocean or at the base of a mountain i am reminded how small i truly am. When i am humiliated i get the same sensation. A reminder that i really am not that important in this world. I know that sounds like a paradox but that is just how i personally work.
Is it emotionally healthy? I am with Lady Pact here. It takes a good deal of research to know the person you are with. I personally could not do humil in a casual scene because i wouldnt feel emotionally safe, but in a loving relationship ... well my Daddy knows exactly where to push because he knows and understands me.

~edited to add another o to my to~

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ORIGINAL: lizi

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone
i for real will take this to my Master...but i have to tell you, just THINKING about doing a hot sexy thing AND THEN getting berated for it by Master just made me cringe and tear up at the same time..... i'm trying to imagine it....and maybe i'm thinking of the wrong things....but just thinking about what you have suggested makes me really queasy. At the end of it is my Master supposed to say "Hey i didn't mean those bad things i just said, come here and give me a hug?" 

PLEASE don't think i'm being an ass or difficult on purpose...i swear i'm not!

This is almost exactly what happened to me and it doesn't sound like it should have worked out to be a positive thing but it did. I asked for something because I thought it was hot and sexy, then felt berated, then at the end I got hugs and other things and felt utterly uplifted by my relationship with him. Weird, I know....hard for me to figure out too.

I once asked my Dom to slap me across the face at some point when we were playing, I thought it sounded hot and I wanted him to do it just for that. He did, but it was after he'd asked me to hold onto the headboard and I let go for a second - he said to me in a low voice why had I done that when he asked me to hang onto it? And he slapped me. I burst into tears and felt utterly open and vulnerable. The sex stopped and never resumed that night, I laid in his arms while he whispered in my ear and stroked my hair- we were both kind of shocked by my reaction. I have never felt so close to him as at that moment and I find myself craving to have it again.

I don't really understand humiliation either...yet. I'm trying to. I've always said I wouldn't like it but I have to rethink that after seeing some of the answers on this post and after having tried some small things within my relationship. The whole calling names thing (whore, slut, etc) during sex works well for me, I start to crave that to. Maybe I'm really into humiliation but haven't accepted it yet lol...

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What kind of attraction is there to making a submissive feel humiliated?

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...Why would a submissive want to allow the dominant to attempt to make him/her feel humilated?...

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...Are there positive benefits to this type of activity?...

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...Do you consider this an emotionally safe activity?...

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i for real will take this to my Master...but i have to tell you, just THINKING about doing a hot sexy thing AND THEN getting berated for it by Master just made me cringe and tear up at the same time..... i'm trying to imagine it....and maybe i'm thinking of the wrong things....but just thinking about what you have suggested makes me really queasy. At the end of it is my Master supposed to say "Hey i didn't mean those bad things i just said, come here and give me a hug?" 

PLEASE don't think i'm being an ass or difficult on purpose...i swear i'm not!

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ORIGINAL: persephonee

When i stand at the base of a mountain or at the top and look around....i feel humbled. Not humiliated. i feel that i am small and insignificant in the whole spectrum of what is around me....thats humbled.

When Master asks me what kind of filthy fucking slut would do.....X....while im doing...X.....that makes me wet.

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ORIGINAL: curiousINct

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

i for real will take this to my Master...but i have to tell you, just THINKING about doing a hot sexy thing AND THEN getting berated for it by Master just made me cringe and tear up at the same time..... i'm trying to imagine it....and maybe i'm thinking of the wrong things....but just thinking about what you have suggested makes me really queasy. At the end of it is my Master supposed to say "Hey i didn't mean those bad things i just said, come here and give me a hug?" 

PLEASE don't think i'm being an ass or difficult on purpose...i swear i'm not!

It doesn't have to be bad things that he says! and it doesn't have to be so extreme that you end up a sniffling mess after either.

Is there anything that you've had said to you that takes you out of your comfort zone for just a split second and makes you blush? How about something that when done to you by a partner or yourself has the same effect? You could start there, build just a little bit a time. It -never- needs to go so far out of your comfort zone that you are crying, or that the words hurt you. I'm hooked on that burning in the tummy feeling that accompanies the blushing cheeks..and it doesn't take a whole lot to cause it.

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone
i think i understand exactly what you mean about when you and he just laid together and he whispered to you....and you said you felt open and vulnerable. Master and i have that....i AM open and vulnerable to Him like i am with no other and like i have never been with any other.... There are many times when He will hold me, rock me, cuddle, soothe. i have felt that but without the slap, i guess is what i mean if that makes sense.

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ORIGINAL: lucylucy

For me it’s lots of different things: having to ask permission to masturbate and then report back on it; masturbating in front of him; begging; being called a slut or whore . . . but like I said in a previous post, there’s no shame in it for me. I love doing these things for my boyfriend and it makes me feel incredibly close to him.

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ORIGINAL: allthatjaz
Humiliation only works if its humiliating to the person involved and more importantly, that they actually desire to be humiliated and the Dominant wants to humiliate them.

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Here's where i'm stuck i think. i want the "rescue" part for lack of a better word (rebuilding, coming together, comforting, etc...) without the humiliation that is supposed to come 1st i guess. And to be honest, i feel Master and i have it. We are very open to each other and its not easy. We nurture, and comfort, as well as listen and learn. (i need a LOT of work in the listening dept, just sayin) So this is where i think i don't get it.... i don't want to have to be humiliated to get that closeness....just give me the closeness already....

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ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Here's where i'm stuck i think. i want the "rescue" part for lack of a better word (rebuilding, coming together, comforting, etc...) without the humiliation that is supposed to come 1st i guess. And to be honest, i feel Master and i have it. We are very open to each other and its not easy. We nurture, and comfort, as well as listen and learn. (i need a LOT of work in the listening dept, just sayin) So this is where i think i don't get it.... i don't want to have to be humiliated to get that closeness....just give me the closeness already....