RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attracted to your slave (or your master)?

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RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/17/2009 6:39:24 AM

subangi

Posts: 544
Joined: 5/11/2008
Status: offline

When I initially met my exMaster/husband, I thought he looked "ok". As I got to know him better, I was more physically attracted to him, and it blossomed into seeing him as very handsome. He put on some weight, but , I never lost the physical attraction I had for him. As time went by, a part of his personality came out that ended our relationship (to put it mildly). He gave me two beautiful children, and for that and only that, a part of me still loves him. But, funny how I see him now as I initially did when we met.

If the mental aspect is fullfilling, then the physical doesnt bear as much weight in a relationship. But, I would think if you were in a healthy relationship and something is bothering you, whether it is physical or not, you would discuss it. If I wore something that made me look frumpy, I would welcome that critism, but it is in the approach that makes it effective. If my weight gain was found unattractive, then I would hope honesty would win out. If it were something like the breast removal, I would hope my significant other would maybe suggest a trip to the mastectomy specialist to find a boob or a filled bra that would make me look sexy with clothes on. True beauty lies within yourself, and with a true relationship, that in itself outshines anything physical.
Well, at least thats what I think.

(in reply to QueenRah)

Post #: 41

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/25/2009 6:28:34 PM

tiemeupSir02

Posts: 62
Joined: 10/23/2009
Status: offline

i believe you should love someone for who they are, granted there needs to be some physical attraction but if something down the road happens that makes them less attractive Y/you should still love them for who they are.

(in reply to GYPSYMAMBO)

Post #: 42

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/26/2009 11:08:18 AM

TEMPERANCE

Posts: 126
Joined: 8/22/2006
Status: offline

Intrestingly enough I have a relationship with a submissive that I am not physically attracted too at all, and never have been. The relationship is a purely platonic D/s relationship and we have been in this relationship for over 2.5 years now.

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(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 43

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/26/2009 12:42:05 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

have you thought about a bbq?

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to TEMPERANCE)

Post #: 44

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/26/2009 7:19:26 PM

ShoreBound149

Posts: 622
Joined: 7/2/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TEMPERANCE

Intrestingly enough I have a relationship with a submissive that I am not physically attracted too at all, and never have been. The relationship is a purely platonic D/s relationship and we have been in this relationship for over 2.5 years now.

That's not something that would interest me. She turns me on at every level. There has to be a deep mental and physical attraction for me to have any interest in doing the deviant behaviors I do with her.

_____________________________

"People don't think it be like it is, but it do."

Oscar Gamble

(in reply to TEMPERANCE)

Post #: 45

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/26/2009 7:40:14 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TEMPERANCE

Intrestingly enough I have a relationship with a submissive that I am not physically attracted too at all, and never have been. The relationship is a purely platonic D/s relationship and we have been in this relationship for over 2.5 years now.

Yes, but it started out that way. It isn't like you started out all hot for them and then one day decided you weren't. It makes a huge difference.

(in reply to TEMPERANCE)

Post #: 46

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/26/2009 8:06:05 PM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: TEMPERANCE

Intrestingly enough I have a relationship with a submissive that I am not physically attracted too at all, and never have been. The relationship is a purely platonic D/s relationship and we have been in this relationship for over 2.5 years now.

Yes, but it started out that way. It isn't like you started out all hot for them and then one day decided you weren't. It makes a huge difference.

Yes, yes it does.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 47

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/26/2009 9:51:07 PM

RealSub58

Posts: 1073
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

What I would do, depends on the reasons for the changes in them, or the change in my feelings.

Of course assuming parties in relationship do get in touch with feelings and are not afraid to be self evaluating.

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

Post #: 48

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/26/2009 10:08:42 PM

MMagic

Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline

Well I'll jump in here before I go to sleep and in light of what I'm about to say and my penchant for being as clear as mud when sleepy, I should probably go to sleep and not post. But oh what the hell.

When I met my first Dom in person it has to be said I didn't find him attractive at all, because his profile photo is old and from a time when he was younger and he chose a flattering angle in which to be photographed. Add to that not being truthful about "other" body parts and I had to quickly find something else to be attracted to. You hate to be superficial but physical attraction is a large part in what attracts us. STILL beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Sadly when it got to the end I had no trouble getting past the break up because I realized I "created" something to be attracted to in him.

I am now in a relationship where I actually am attracted to several things about my Dom, so this works as a plus in both our favor. I don't have to "create" anything, lol. With that in mind I dare say if anything were to happen beyond his control I'd still be quite attracted to him. Love his personality, and I'm a sucker for blue eyes and rapier wit. Yeah I should sleep now. Night my lovelies.

-Mag

_____________________________

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 49

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/26/2009 10:15:02 PM

MMagic

Posts: 183
Joined: 2/9/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ShoreBound149

quote:

ORIGINAL: TEMPERANCE

Intrestingly enough I have a relationship with a submissive that I am not physically attracted too at all, and never have been. The relationship is a purely platonic D/s relationship and we have been in this relationship for over 2.5 years now.

That's not something that would interest me. She turns me on at every level. There has to be a deep mental and physical attraction for me to have any interest in doing the deviant behaviors I do with her.

This is why I think the D/s relationships are so much more romantic than vanilla. Most Doms (not all) want the mental connection AND the physical before they can do anything. Straight vanilla? The guy can know you or have never seen you before and wouldn't mind doing whatever with you.

_____________________________

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West

(in reply to ShoreBound149)

Post #: 50

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/26/2009 10:19:16 PM

ElectraGlide

Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline

I look at that this way, if you look at your future Slave and can't see yourself getting old with your slave, you have no business putting a collar on her. That is so immature to collar someone you did not take the time to figure out if a longterm relationship would work or not. We all know those Dominants that keep a Collar in their glove box of their car that will collar a Submissive 15 minutes after they played with them for the first time.

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(in reply to MMagic)

Post #: 51

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/27/2009 5:47:25 AM

Level

Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: windchymes

That's why it's good to start relationships when you're already old and ugly. That way, you already look like what you're going to look like when you get older, and you know that they love you for who you are, not what you look like.

Dammit, I almost swallowed my gum.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 52

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 12/27/2009 8:20:00 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

go get the other slave out of the closet

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 53

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 1/6/2010 3:57:36 PM

sunninropes

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline

This post struck me. I started seeing someone a while back and all was perfect. We would talk and talk until we just couldn't talk anymore. The one complaint he had was his previous submissive was all about her pleasure and never wanted to pleasure him or outwardly show him affection. I, on the other hand want nothing more than to shower him with affection and pleasure him, yet he has constructed this wall as of late. We don't even touch each other, other than a few light kisses when he comes over and then again when he leaves. When i question him about what's going on with us, he tells me to stop analyzing our relationship. I'm truly not analyzing, just trying to understand what happened. When did it change for him and why.

struggling to understand

(in reply to GYPSYMAMBO)

Post #: 54

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 1/6/2010 3:59:35 PM

sunninropes

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline

whoa how do i get that vanilla thing from under my name?

(in reply to sunninropes)

Post #: 55

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 1/6/2010 4:58:51 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunninropes

This post struck me. I started seeing someone a while back and all was perfect. We would talk and talk until we just couldn't talk anymore. The one complaint he had was his previous submissive was all about her pleasure and never wanted to pleasure him or outwardly show him affection. I, on the other hand want nothing more than to shower him with affection and pleasure him, yet he has constructed this wall as of late. We don't even touch each other, other than a few light kisses when he comes over and then again when he leaves. When i question him about what's going on with us, he tells me to stop analyzing our relationship. I'm truly not analyzing, just trying to understand what happened. When did it change for him and why.

struggling to understand

First of all, you can do a search of "the vanilla cone under my name." You will find plenty of links to explanations.

Second, you would have been better starting your own thread on this issue. "A while" is defined differently by everyone, including me.

I assume you mean he is pushing you away? You ask him and he says you are "analyzing" the relationship. Hate to break it to you, but you ARE analyzing the relationship. You want to know why things have changed from how they were and how to make it back to that place. That would be analysis.

Here's the rub though. There is nothing wrong with the analyzing you are doing. If the only thing you are doing is what you say above, not nit picking on how to figure out every little detail and its meaning. That would be annoying. Analysis is not always a bad word in a relationship.

Maybe try a different approach. If he pushes you away, instead of doing the "why oh why" speech, ask him if there is anything else you can do to help him relax from the stress of his day. Remind him that you love to touch him and sometimes just can't help it.

I know that my man is not the touchy feeling type very often. We've gotten past it by me explaining that sometimes I need to touch, caress or lay in his arms. I let him know when it is one of those times, and he doesn't complain about it.

(in reply to sunninropes)

Post #: 56

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 1/6/2010 5:35:55 PM

wisdomtogive

Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline

Back to the topic
LafayetteLady perhaps it is other things that keep the relationship glued together. When i was very young, late hubby and i were in good physical shape, and through time, that changed, mostly due to illness and medication, and with him his terminal illness. But something held us together beyond the physical. I do not think the physical can hold anyone together for ever, people age..their bodies change.

Sir is not the body type i am use too, but he is beyond his body shape and we both are antiques now. I think we just are cementing on a different level then just the physical, and both watching our mates suffering from terminal illness we know it has to be more.

After all he is the only person with the real picture of me, and still loves me and my cat:)

Attachment (1)

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Happily owned by MstrDark1

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 57

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 1/6/2010 5:42:04 PM

sunninropes

Posts: 3
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline

My apologies for intruding om your forum

(in reply to wisdomtogive)

Post #: 58

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 1/6/2010 5:55:56 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunninropes

My apologies for intruding om your forum
[/quote

No need to apologize. You're new so you probably didn't know. It's Ron's forum. He is trying' to keep it on the down low though, so keep it to yourself. OK?

Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to sunninropes)

Post #: 59

RE: What do you do when you STOP being physically attra... - 1/6/2010 5:57:06 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunninropes

My apologies for intruding om your forum

That isn't what I meant. But on the older posts, like this one, many people are "done." They aren't necessarily coming back and then won't see your post.

You have a very valid question and my suggestion was simply to help you get the most from this forum and a better chance at a lot of advice as you seek.

(in reply to sunninropes)

Post #: 60

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