RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why?

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 11:05:17 AM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Sexyred are you SURE you are not a dominant? You have red hair! Do you own any boots?

Hmmmm...I have red hair, check. Own MANY kick ass boots, the better to stomp on someone, check. Maybe I am really am confused?

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 11:06:15 AM

LadyHibiscus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Sexyred are you SURE you are not a dominant? You have red hair! Do you own any boots?

Hmmmm...I have red hair, check. Own MANY kick ass boots, the better to stomp on someone, check. Maybe I am really am confused?

See!! TOLD ya you were a dominant!

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 11:28:03 AM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19
Also as far as needing touch. The research was done on infants. Its called Marasmus. Failure to thrive. But once you have developed through puberty this is not an issue. Its really the time when neuro pathways are forming that touch is so important. But a grown adult can get affection from friends and family and they will not die without affection.

I want to thank both you and Drifta for mentioning the study that I had heard of prior. You are absolutely correct that it is in relation to infants. If anyone out there has a comparative study for adults, I'm happy to hear it. Until then, I'm not especially sure that good stuff like sex, S/m, touch, and so on are especially a 'need'. Damn high up there on the list of wants, but not things most adults are going to die without.

Which goes back to the original content of the thread. Many self labeled 'submissives' on this site really are just out for their own wants, and really don't care who provides them.

_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 11:29:58 AM

LadyHibiscus

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I suppose I should try and be equitable here and say that there are lots of female subs who behave the same way, but I have not encountered them in such tremendous numbers, online or in real time.

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 11:56:38 AM

Rednekcol

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Speaking as a female dominant with many female dominant friends, I will tell you that there are PLENTY Of us out there.

Are there plenty of male SUBMISSIVES? Well, that depends on how far you want to stretch the definition of "submissive", doesn't it?

Okay, in my first poste I tried for an objective treatment of the subject, and I threw out the numbers active on collarme as a simple device to indicate what the male submissive sees when he looks. I have to agree, however, that a lot of the profiles out there are not going to fit into your definition of a "submissive". I won't even try to judge a percentage, given that I have not really spent very much time browsing the profiles of male submissives (and probably never will). In defense of my methodology, this thread wasn't asking why "real" male submissives might be acting that way; I think the question was asking just about anyone who identified themselves as submissive.

As to your comment about there being "plenty" of female dominants "out there", I am curious what you mean by this. Plenty for what? Obviously there are not enough on Collarme to satisfy all the men who identify themselves as submissive in what they are now seeking. But perhaps you meant that if all those there were submissive in the ways you and your friends desired, there would be plenty to satisfy the need? Or perhaps you mean that, if we rule out all the people who are looking for a short term gratification there would be enough?

Of course, I would not suggest that Collarme is the be all end all source for seeking a partner either. I have a large suspicion that a good percentage of the female dominants (and female slaves) don't find themselves needing or wanting to post on here to augment their search.

In any of the above cases, I would be interested to know how you quantify and qualify your statement.

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 12:59:57 PM

sweetsub1957

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Which goes back to the original content of the thread. Many self labeled 'submissives' on this site really are just out for their own wants, and really don't care who provides them.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I suppose I should try and be equitable here and say that there are lots of female subs who behave the same way, but I have not encountered them in such tremendous numbers, online or in real time.

And that, I find really sad, that so many self-proclaimed "submissives" are like that. I know that submissives have needs and wants too, but I thought submissives were supposed to serve and please the Dominant, make Her/His life happier, easier, etc etc. with what we could bring to the table. Here, all this time, I thought that's what submission was about.....serving and pleasing. Little did I know......I guess I was doing it all wrong. ~feeling sheepish about my stupidity~ lol

sweetsub1957

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 1:05:49 PM

LadyPact

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
And that, I find really sad, that so many self-proclaimed "submissives" are like that. I know that submissives have needs and wants too, but I thought submissives were supposed to serve and please the Dominant, make Her/His life happier, easier, etc etc. with what we could bring to the table. Here, all this time, I thought that's what submission was about.....serving and pleasing. Little did I know......I guess I was doing it all wrong. ~feeling sheepish about my stupidity~ lol

sweetsub1957

I know what you said was tongue in cheek, but it's worth addressing.

Compatibility is a huge factor in all of this. I don't think it's wrong for all of us, on both sides of the kneel, to have our own wants. That's why I think it's so important to find the right fit. When those wants match up in a good way, both parties are happy.

Which is why the approach you describe makes very little sense to Me at all.

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 1:10:32 PM

TimrehIX

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When I am looking around, I frequently see male subs that are hot as hell. They are my wet dream come true except they are sub. I don’t message them, but I am always tempted to offer my services if they ever want to switch.

You may be getting a similar reactions from straight subs.

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 1:15:54 PM

sweetsub1957

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I know what you said was tongue in cheek, but it's worth addressing.

Compatibility is a huge factor in all of this. I don't think it's wrong for all of us, on both sides of the kneel, to have our own wants. That's why I think it's so important to find the right fit. When those wants match up in a good way, both parties are happy.

Which is why the approach you describe makes very little sense to Me at all.

Oh, of course. We all have wants and needs, and we should be able to have them fulfilled eventually. But to expect a Dominant to just scratch an s-type's every itch without compatibility is crazy. There has to be compatibility, otherwise the relationship can't last. It's only when there is compatibility and real care for each other that both parties can really be happy without one or both feeling used.

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 1:20:34 PM

rockspider

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I must admit i love perving femdommes profiles. Some of their posturing really makes me fantasise about having them under my thumb with a whip in my hand

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 1:21:46 PM

vincentML

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

They dont read your profile and they dont care. They look at your profile and think youre hot. So they most of the time arent really in the lifestyle. They just want to get laid and this is the avenue. I mean subs are sluts right?

I think it is a bit more complicated than you suggest. First they make the decision to search Female Submissives. So it is a deliberate selective process.

Vincent

Its deliberate to search for ALL women. THAT doesnt take a rocket scientist.
Though most frequently its a scammer from Guam.

It is quite impressive that you know with absolute certitude the searching methodology used by everyone on CM.

Vincent

What termonlogy did I use to make you think I said I was referrring to everybody? First, we are talking about men who call themselves subs yet message female submissives.

But yes, I am impressive.

Also as far as needing touch. The research was done on infants. Its called Marasmus. Failure to thrive. But once you have developed through puberty this is not an issue. Its really the time when neuro pathways are forming that touch is so important. But a grown adult can get affection from friends and family and they will not die without affection.

Are you defending perhaps why you contact female submissives?

Of course we were and are talking mostly of submissive men. No argument.

I did not say you are impressive. I was referring to your absolute certitude.

I admitted up front I was only being dramatic about the life affirming need for touch. Not my debate. But I stand by my belief that the need or want for touch should not be denigrated to its sexual demension only as was done in an earlier post.

I am surprised by your snarky suggestion that I contact female submissives. You visited my Profile. You saw I am happily committed to my Owner. I include Her contact on my Profile and I include Her name in my signature. Are you suggesting to everyone on this tread that I cheat on Her? And this comes from where? Your impressive imagination perhaps? Your insinuation is low class. Quite disappointing.

Vincent

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 1:42:00 PM

vincentML

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Which goes back to the original content of the thread. Many self labeled 'submissives' on this site really are just out for their own wants, and really don't care who provides them.
[/color]

That seems like so generalized a statement, LP. Yes, many are out for their own wants. Maybe they don't care who provides them. Hang the bastards!

But look over on the other side of CM. Is that statement true only of submissives? I don't think so. And is it true only in the bdsm community? Again, I don't think so.

Many people of all genders and persuasions are selfish and careless about the feelings of others. Hello. This is planet earth we are talking about. The human species. Selfish is our middle name.

It is what it is.

EDITED HERE

Unfortunately I missed this quote of yours, LP. It makes a lot of sense.

quote:

Compatibility is a huge factor in all of this. I don't think it's wrong for all of us, on both sides of the kneel, to have our own wants. That's why I think it's so important to find the right fit. When those wants match up in a good way, both parties are happy.

Vincent

< Message edited by vincentML -- 12/11/2009 1:49:14 PM >

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 1:43:22 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

They dont read your profile and they dont care. They look at your profile and think youre hot. So they most of the time arent really in the lifestyle. They just want to get laid and this is the avenue. I mean subs are sluts right?

I think it is a bit more complicated than you suggest. First they make the decision to search Female Submissives. So it is a deliberate selective process.

Vincent

Its deliberate to search for ALL women. THAT doesnt take a rocket scientist.
Though most frequently its a scammer from Guam.

It is quite impressive that you know with absolute certitude the searching methodology used by everyone on CM.

Vincent

What termonlogy did I use to make you think I said I was referrring to everybody? First, we are talking about men who call themselves subs yet message female submissives.

But yes, I am impressive.

Also as far as needing touch. The research was done on infants. Its called Marasmus. Failure to thrive. But once you have developed through puberty this is not an issue. Its really the time when neuro pathways are forming that touch is so important. But a grown adult can get affection from friends and family and they will not die without affection.

Are you defending perhaps why you contact female submissives?

Of course we were and are talking mostly of submissive men. No argument.

I did not say you are impressive. I was referring to your absolute certitude.

I admitted up front I was only being dramatic about the life affirming need for touch. Not my debate. But I stand by my belief that the need or want for touch should not be denigrated to its sexual demension only as was done in an earlier post.

I am surprised by your snarky suggestion that I contact female submissives. You visited my Profile. You saw I am happily committed to my Owner. I include Her contact on my Profile and I include Her name in my signature. Are you suggesting to everyone on this tread that I cheat on Her? And this comes from where? Your impressive imagination perhaps? Your insinuation is low class. Quite disappointing.

Vincent

I kindly appreciate you stop with the insults. My post was not snarky. I asked you a question? It was not a statement. But why are you spending so much time defending submissive men who contact submissive females.

I think your knee jerk reaction is uncalled for. Nothing I said was intended in any snarky or disrespectful manner. I personally would never call someone low class. I have too much class to insult someone like that.

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 2:03:42 PM

vincentML

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Are you defending perhaps why you contact female submissives?

quote:

VincentML:

Your insinuation is low class. Quite disappointing.

Vincent

quote:

I kindly appreciate you stop with the insults. My post was not snarky. I asked you a question? It was not a statement. But why are you spending so much time defending submissive men who contact submissive females.

That was not your question. I quoted it and bold faced the insult above. You know I am committed to One. I do not cheat on Her.

quote:

I think your knee jerk reaction is uncalled for. Nothing I said was intended in any snarky or disrespectful manner. I personally would never call someone low class. I have too much class to insult someone like that.

I did not call you low class. I said your insinuation was low class. The quote is above. It seems snarky to me. I remain quite distressed by your comment. Perhaps it was only a poorly phrased comment. I hope that is the case.

Vincent

< Message edited by vincentML -- 12/11/2009 2:08:38 PM >

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 2:09:35 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Are you defending perhaps why you contact female submissives?

quote:

VincentML:

Your insinuation is low class. Quite disappointing.

Vincent

quote:

I kindly appreciate you stop with the insults. My post was not snarky. I asked you a question? It was not a statement. But why are you spending so much time defending submissive men who contact submissive females.

{quote]That was not your question. I quoted it and bold faced the insult above.

quote:

I think your knee jerk reaction is uncalled for. Nothing I said was intended in any snarky or disrespectful manner. I personally would never call someone low class. I have too much class to insult someone like that.

quote:

I did not call you low class. I said your insinuation was low class. The quote is above. I remain quite distressed by your comment. Perhaps it was only a poorly phrased comment. I hope that is the case.

Vincent

It was not an insinuation. I was questioning your defense. Yes it was snide. But it was a yes or no answer. You seem awfully defensive in this thread and I am wondering why you are defending all the male submissives. Especially if you are "involved".

But you are involved now. You were not always involved correct? Are you some how defensive because of past behavior? And if no, why are you personally single handedly wanting to take up the cause?

By the way, you talk about human selfishness of wanting what people want. Personally I see that behavior in the testosterone driven humans more so than females who mostly want a love connection. Men will be whatever to get laid. Say the appropriate things at the time, Even,"I love you".

Now I know you could never be like that but I am sure you have seen this behavior around you.

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 12/11/2009 2:17:40 PM >

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/11/2009 2:15:00 PM

LadyHibiscus

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Well thanks for the perv, Rockspider! Which posture do you think I was assuming?

Well said, Lushy. Vincent, I think you have been VERY condescending in your posts. Perhaps this is your posting style all over the boards. If so, expect the ladies to call you on it. There are some things we just find annoying, whether we are dom or sub.

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/12/2009 12:20:40 PM

vincentML

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

It was not an insinuation. I was questioning your defense. Yes it was snide. But it was a yes or no answer. You seem awfully defensive in this thread and I am wondering why you are defending all the male submissives. Especially if you are "involved".

That's fine, luscious. I said snarky; you say snide. Let's split the difference and be friends.

quote:

But you are involved now. You were not always involved correct? Are you some how defensive because of past behavior? And if no, why are you personally single handedly wanting to take up the cause?

I do not think I was single handedly taking on a cause. Others were trying to give explanations as well. I suggested it was a problem of numbers, as did others, and I tried to point out that the desire for touch is a very human want/need and should not be denigrated to exclusively sexual motivation.

I took the defensive posture, not because of any previous experience, but because I perceived a lot of joyous piling on from the female side with little acknowledgement that the boys might just be lonely and wanting, or if acknowledged their wanting was held up to ridicule. Examine your own early post, luscious. What was it you said? "All subs are sluts, right?" Maybe it was meant tongue in cheek, but you left it out there.

I saw a great deal of condemnation and very little compassion. So, it is an annoyance for the female subs, and maybe you think it is a big deal and bothersome, but you have listed your profile here on an internet site where people are trying to connect, where the lines of identity are sometimes blurred, and the neediness of seekers is quite real, although many may be crude in their manner.

I think you have to have some expectation of inconvenience and annoyance as par for the course. This is not after all a private and discreet match-making service we are about here.

quote:

By the way, you talk about human selfishness of wanting what people want. Personally I see that behavior in the testosterone driven humans more so than females who mostly want a love connection. Men will be whatever to get laid. Say the appropriate things at the time, Even,"I love you".

Now I know you could never be like that but I am sure you have seen this behavior around you.

You are quite probably right, luscious. Men will be sexually aggressive. I don't know if it is in the genes or if it is Nurture. However, in my many years i have witnessed the trend of the same sexual aggression in "liberated" women. I bet your grandma did not reach out so assertively as women do today.

And I am not sure it is only women who want a love connection. No, I am not willing to concede that at all. Maybe among younger men and among boys but even there many are smitten with love, so I do not yield that point quite so easily. The desire for companionship and romance are strong motivators in men as well. You seem not to realize what makes men tick when you make such a generalized statement. We are quite complex as women are. You may have bought into that "men think only with their dick" nonsense. Is that not dehumanizing? I think it is a fallacy.

Vincent

< Message edited by vincentML -- 12/12/2009 12:33:11 PM >

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/12/2009 12:26:35 PM

vincentML

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Well thanks for the perv, Rockspider! Which posture do you think I was assuming?

Well said, Lushy. Vincent, I think you have been VERY condescending in your posts. Perhaps this is your posting style all over the boards. If so, expect the ladies to call you on it. There are some things we just find annoying, whether we are dom or sub.

Well, i made you laugh, Lady, at least that. I do not mean to be condescending but i will not be meek either. I do not mind being called out for my opinion or even for my manner. I am pissed when called out for my motivation. But even that is saying too much at this point. I prefer to say no more and let the rift between lusciouslips and me heal.

Vincent

< Message edited by vincentML -- 12/12/2009 12:34:58 PM >

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/12/2009 2:04:23 PM

lusciouslips19

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quote:

ORIGINAL: vincentML

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Well thanks for the perv, Rockspider! Which posture do you think I was assuming?

Well said, Lushy. Vincent, I think you have been VERY condescending in your posts. Perhaps this is your posting style all over the boards. If so, expect the ladies to call you on it. There are some things we just find annoying, whether we are dom or sub.

Well, i made you laugh, Lady, at least that. I do not mean to be condescending but i will not be meek either. I do not mind being called out for my opinion or even for my manner. I am pissed when called out for my motivation. But even that is saying too much at this point. I prefer to say no more and let the rift between lusciouslips and me heal.

Vincent

There is no rift. I do not take things personally. You pixels on a screen until I develop a relationship with someone. Anyone who knows me from here knows that I dont harbor a grudge from posts. Everyones entiltled to their opinion whether I agree or not.

I would also like to say that not all men think with their dicks. Most but not all!

But this whole, "maybe the male subs are lonely" thing is quite niave on your part and until you walk a mile in womens stilettos, you cant understand our skeptism and annoyance with males who dont take no for an answer or dont read profiles.

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RE: Male Subs Who Want Female Subs to Domme Them. Why? - 12/12/2009 3:26:32 PM

vincentML

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

until you walk a mile in womens stilettos, you cant understand our skeptism and annoyance with males who dont take no for an answer or dont read profiles.

No, I have not walked in stilettos but it is quite clear from what you say you would have had the OP hang out a sign at the beginning of the thread that said "No male opinions wanted. We are having a Hen Party and we are here just to bash submissive men whose actions annoy us and whom we hold in contempt for our own frustrations at not being able to manage our mail accounts." Your default position of woe-is-me skepticism and annoyance does not seem to leave room for exploring Sweetsub's question.

But sweetsub did not hang out that sign. She did not prequalify the thread participants by the type of shoes they wear. She did not express annoyance. She just deletes when she is confronted with the problem. Unlike others, she apparently handles it okay.

Sweetsub simply asked "Why?" Frankly, the thread was not about your skepticism and annoyance until you expressed it. I hope that is the worst thing you have to be annoyed about.

Vincent

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