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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: osf

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No. It's really not. It's a lack of communication that, by it's absence, implies something as to the state of the relationship. If you are joking, it's not coming across.

if i ask you if you have anything to say and you don't answer, you've answered in effect

a lack of communication is communicating they have nothing to say, and/or they don't think your worth talking too

we communicate on many different levels

I don't regard that as communication in the slightest. As I said, it's a lack of communication that implies something. It could also mean I'm dead and therefore unable to communicate.

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ORIGINAL: lally2



making a judgement is what we all do every day but judgementalism is something else and there is way too much of it on here sometimes IMHO

i know of plenty of relationships that are unhealthy, from my POV, but its not my call, so i keep my trap shut. if someone comes here and pointedly asks 'is this healthy' then we are being invited to comment, beyond that its non of our business what floats peoples boats. although if its kids involved i do get a bit judgmental.

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i agree wholeheartedly that this thread is a bit questionable, but i still think this guy has alot going on and who knows how fragile he is or how much 'attack' he can handle. he's new here and doesnt know how brutal it can get at times

.... and i think well of you sunshine - its no biggee, im not worrying a whole lot about this, its an open forum and i said what i felt. sorry for the hijack.

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However, I still find it offensive to think that someone would feign agreement with me because I happen to be woman. I don't need someone fluffing my ego with fake praise nor I do think any of the other women here do.

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i need to ask Her, but for the moment She is ignoring me - which i accept i deserve. i shall ask when (if??) She allows me to.

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ORIGINAL: sissyshoefetish


i reman aplogetic for any offence caused. it won't help of course but it would not be done to fluff anyones ego, but rather to subvert mine. i would not go as far as to offer praise but i would i believe refrain from any dispute or complaint.
in real life it woud mostly be different especially where people are highly objectionable though i do try to be meek and polite in public.

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That doesn't exactly sound like a healthy relationship.

Perhaps you might explain more about what you mean?

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ORIGINAL: osf


he's right there check his pulse

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: osf


he's right there check his pulse

Whose pulse?

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ORIGINAL: osf

the uncommunicative one

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Is E. W. now your Dom?  Is HE the one you are trying to please?.

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Look, man, if you are going to follow what EVERY woman and EVERY dom says for your to do, you will go crazy.  You seem to be in a bit of sub frenzy.  (use the search button if you don't know what that term means). 

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Your post is irritating - the whole fricking thread is irritating - because you are acting like a jerk.  You are acting like a "doormat" ... you know... like you have no mind of your own.  To me that makes YOU more troll like than osf.  You want to be a useless, unthinking, pitiful shell, fine.  But don't say it's because you are submissive.  That's not submissive.  (A fairly common mistake for new folks or people in sub frenzy). 

Wake up.
sunshine

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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

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ORIGINAL: sissyshoefetish


Oh.. now that is simply very wise!
Thanks.

I've noticed you are agreeing with everyone completely.

I'm getting a sneaking suspicion that this was just to scratch an idea of yours to be told what to do.

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ORIGINAL: lally2

hm. whilst its more than possible that the OP is exercising some level of kink simply through being humiliated - something s/he mentions enjoying on her profile - and therefore manipulative - im not sure that lambasting her for being who she is and taking a dig at her mistress has any merit to it at all either.

in the end he is a guy trying to get to grips with being a woman - and lets face it there are plenty of men who freely admit they dont understand women and they never will

add in submission and i see someone who is really trying to handle a whole lot of stuff. i might be wrong, often am

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ORIGINAL: Justme696
Do you think the place we live has influence on how we respond here on genders?

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1. I don't think you *should* work on it, but I wouldn't have any problem with you working on it. I really don't see how it's different from any other bias based on attraction. Some guys find giggling and hair twirling to be endearing in a woman, that doesn't mean they should "work on" getting the same reaction when they see another guy do it. If you find an outspoken woman attractive and feel a natural response to it I don't see why you need to "fix" yourself to see guys the same way. Your natural response to things, especially things that you relate to attraction, isn't going to be logical.

2. Only if you want to be more passive. I enjoyed your analysis of osf, and I think that the only person who can make the decision to be more passive is you. Or possibly, if you're in a D/s dynamic and behaviour mod is part of that dynamic, your Domme.

3. You shouldn't apologize if you're not genuinely sorry for what you did.

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ORIGINAL: numuncular

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ORIGINAL: osf

regardless of what anyone thinks of me, i treat women of any sexual orientation with more equality than those that rush in to protect the poor defenseless dears which was the subject of one of my threads

being an arse to everyone isn't really equality.

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ORIGINAL: Valyraen

I'm of two minds about that comment. Strictly functioning by the definition of the term equality (taken from dictionary.reference.com) as "correspondence in quantity, degree, value, rank, or ability", being an arse to every *is* equality, because you're not discriminating on the basis of any factor. I'm reminded of the old, slightly off-color joke that hating everyone equally isn't being prejudiced - it's not pleasant, but it's true.

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ORIGINAL: Justme696

Do you think the place we live has influence on how we respond here on genders?

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I'm not a submissive, but I want to answer your question because it gives Me a chance to explain My thoughts on the subject.

I'll be very honest with you.  I don't have one inkling of desire to have what people think regarding what I say around here to be focused on what's between My legs.  If anyone thinks anything of Me, for better or for worse, I want it to be on My own merit.  Not because of what gender that I am or I'm not.  If anyone out there thinks I'm a good top, I want that to be because of the skills I've acquired over the years.  If I'm a good Dominant, that should be because of the way I have structured the dynamics in My life.  I don't want 'special credit' just because I have tits.

Do I particularly get that?  No.  I've said so on these boards plenty of times on how imbalanced things can be in the kinky world based on gender.  I think I should be held to the same standard as any other male Dominant out there.  If I can't live up to that, it's My own fault.

At the same time, I understand your position, OP.  There are definitely those out there who feel their submission more strongly when dealing with one gender rather than another.  These yearnings aren't exactly 'wrong' but you may want to do some inner searching as to why something said by a female impacts you in a different way than a male.

I would say, consider both, why you feel the way you do in regards to gender, and the worthiness of the comments that made you react the way you did.  Then, and only then, will you know if an apology is warranted or not.
[/color]

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Should you act respectful to those who you contact with, yes, Should you act like a wimp, No.

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If you were disrespectful in your comments, then yes, If you simply disagreed with his statements and were respectful in doing so, then No

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Given how enthusically the OP is agreeing with everyone, I believe I'm allowed my opinion ...

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..that this may be an attempt to get their kink scratched. It also may not be. .

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i havent read all of his posts on here, but ive got the gist.

i think theres a double edge to all of this. on one hand he wants and loves to be humiliated by women because he 'thinks' we're wonderful (and who can argue with that (joking)), - but also in there is his dressing up as a woman and humiliating himself in that way with big girls knickers, so there is also a degree of 'reducing' himself to the female condition of being, as some men see it, the 'weaker sex'.

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ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Lally,
You know I think really well of you.  But this time I'm calling bullshit.  If I'm being harsh (I seem to be doing that these days), too bad.  But sometimes people need a wake up call.  Not once did anyone say ANYTHING hurtful to the OP.  NOT ONCE.  We have all talked about behavior.  And the behavior sucks.  We have made an assessment AT THE OP'S REQUEST and responded to it.  You know as well as I do that being a doormat is not cool.  Apologizing when no real apology is necessary weakens true apologies.  Wondering *if* Mistress will talk to me is not healthy.  (whether on her part or the op's).  Finally, wanting humilitiation and getting it from the board is subjecting us to kink without our permission.  Don't know if THAT is happening.  But Aqua mentioned it in a fair manner.  It *is* a possibility.

I too have had the sweetness / kindness factor in the past that went to the nth degree.  Not anymore.  Say what you mean, mean what you say, don't say it mean.  Being overly sweet will not help the op, and it sure won't make me happy.

*and the world revolves around me.  I can send you the memo  *wink
sunshine