Married People and the Lifestyle

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Married People and the Lifestyle

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Married People and the Lifestyle

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/23/2009 2:31:47 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

For those of you who are attempting to enter this lifestyle to have their needs met, but who are restricted by having a partner who is unable to meet those needs and who is unwilling or unknowing, you have my heartfelt sympathies. However with that being said, a few questions come to mind.

Many people are here to have their needs met, what makes one think that their needs are anymore important than their partner’s, a partner who one is either married to or has emotionally bonded with?

People come here looking for among other things; respect, honesty and truthfulness, yet people have shown themselves to be incapable of such a commitment. What makes one think that anyone is going to trust or believe in them after they have shown their true colors?

Some of those above listed people who are here, have little people at home. I wonder how they feel when one of them says” Gee, I want to grow up and be just like Daddy or Mommy”. How do people justify these actions to their offspring? How does one tell them to be morally correct, unless it involves getting one’s needs met.

This is not about people who have the consent of their partners. Nor is it directed to people who are in abusive relationships, people whose partners have drug, alcohol, gambling addictions, or who have been shown to be unfaithful. This is for people who have an otherwise decent, healthy relationship with their partner, but who feel their needs are not being satisfied. I am not here to judge anyone. What ones do is between their partners, their conscious their GOD and themselves. I am just trying to understand the mindset of individuals for who this applies.

If I were in this position, I would decide what it is that I truly wanted and if my partner was unwilling or unable to meet my needs or give consent. I would without question, end the relationship. I do not believe people should stay in situations that require them to sneak around, or to be dishonest with their partner in any way. Neither my partner nor myself will ever be referred to as “One’s dirty little secret”

Thank you in advance for those who offer their input

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

Post #: 1

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/23/2009 2:39:32 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

its a bit tricky really. the guys in a situation like this have my sympathy too. but how could you rationalise leaving the little people cos you need kink. if everything else is good in the relationship what do you say to those kids when they ask you why you left.

i think people stick around in all sort of relationships for the kids. but also because they love/respect their spouse and dont want to leave them.

but yet, you have a right to be fully fulfilled. at munches and at a club i went to once, there were quite a few people married to vanillas who had a play partner. they had a strong connection and met regularly, but their spouses knew about it and im guessing were ok with it.

i dont think its so clear cut. which is why there are so many married people here. but to tell youre spouse that you want to get kinky with someone outside of the marriage, i mean, how do you even start that conversation without hurting them and confusing them.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 2

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/23/2009 5:39:21 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Brief summary: OP believes that cheating on a spouse in order to get BDSM is wrong.

I agree.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 3

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/23/2009 6:18:54 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Brief summary: OP believes that cheating on a spouse in order to get BDSM is wrong.

I agree.

i do too. i just dont think its so easy for people to leave their marriage for kink, leave the kids for kink or even open up the suggestion that they need to find a BDSM partner.

i mean there is so much confusion here as to what BDSM means to some people and theyre open to finding out. what if youre spouse isnt open to understanding and cant get their head around the fact that BDSM doesnt have to lead to sex when it is, for some, their sexual orientation.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 4

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/23/2009 6:26:45 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

This is really simple folks.
People don't do this when their needs are met. They do this when communication has broken down, when the couple don't touch, haven't had sex for years etc.
The only thing they stay for is financial and family. They don't care what the other person does as long as it's discreet and won't shame them in the eyes of outsiders.

Nobody ever says "Wow, here I am totally in love with a person who loves and respects me, so I think I'll fuck it all up by having a flaming affair".

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 5

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/23/2009 6:35:42 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49

If I were in this position, I would decide what it is that I truly wanted and if my partner was unwilling or unable to meet my needs or give consent. I would without question, end the relationship. I do not believe people should stay in situations that require them to sneak around, or to be dishonest with their partner in any way. Neither my partner nor myself will ever be referred to as “One’s dirty little secret”

I agree with you, but people stay in relationships for many reasons, some are complacent, some are seeking some spice, some are unhappy and unable to express it to their partner, some are staying for the kids, and some are happy enough but simply want to have fun and some just do it because they can.

I hate when married men approach me and when I ask them why they are still married they give the standard cliches of "my wife doesn't like what I like" or "I have to stay because of the kids". In either case I say your kids will always be your kids and you their father even if you end your primary relationship and if your wife does not like what you like..well you married her in the first place.

And to those who say you can marry someone even if their sexual and D/s desires are not in unison, I refer you to the myriad of people who are actually cheating.

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 6

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/23/2009 9:11:40 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Acer, I think what you've written here is very good. Darn near excellent, in fact. My only hang up with it is the phrasing of desires for kink, BDSM, or whatever people want to call WIITWD a need rather than a want. I think when we interchange one word for another, we actually add to the credibility of those making less than honorable choices and make it seem more justified. "Oh, I have a loving SO at home, but I *need* xxxx....." That actually doesn't wash with Me.

Please don't misunderstand. It's not that I think that our wants for sex, kink, or anything else in this category aren't pretty high when we're prioritizing all those things that aren't the actual needs that support life. I just know that certain things are actually higher on My list. My marriage is one and My personal integrity is another. That's just My way of doing things.

Truthfully, while I understand the position of those who want to be involved in WIITWD, My sympathy is more often for the spouse at home. I don't think anyone has the right to inflict that harm on their SO. Especially not if they gave them no opportunity to have the knowledge of what they are doing and not if they haven't given that person the opportunity to consent. That person at home has every right to make the choice to be vanilla and monogamous as we have the right to be kinky.

Does that mean that in some cases some hard choices might have to be made? Yes, it does. To Me, that's still a better option than the alternative.

Thank you for your post, Acer.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 7

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/23/2009 9:31:01 AM

breatheasone

Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

This is really simple folks.
People don't do this when their needs are met. They do this when communication has broken down, when the couple don't touch, haven't had sex for years etc.
The only thing they stay for is financial and family. They don't care what the other person does as long as it's discreet and won't shame them in the eyes of outsiders.

Nobody ever says "Wow, here I am totally in love with a person who loves and respects me, so I think I'll fuck it all up by having a flaming affair".

This is more accurate than you may realize.

_____________________________

Romans 10:13,For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 8

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/23/2009 9:52:46 AM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

It's all too sad when married couples stay together for the sake of the kids. I am one of those kids where my parents firmly believed the best thing in my upbringing would be that they were married. However, all I can remember throughout my childhood and adolescence are the two of them miserable in a loveless marriage all in the name of my wellbeing. The memory and the lesson that I learned through my childlike eyes at the time was that due to me, my parents are stuck together in misery. Not a good lesson for a youngling to grow up with.

(in reply to breatheasone)

Post #: 9

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/25/2009 7:52:48 PM

deansslut

Posts: 12
Joined: 12/20/2009
Status: offline

I'm one half of those couples.My wife really got into the lifestyle and I would let her have anything she wanted.We have been together for over 23 years (she was 13 and I was 14 years old when we got together.We had a male Domm that we played with and I was learning from .She thought that I wouldn't understand that she wanted to go farther then we were going so she met with him when I was out of town.It took me about a month to find out and I was crushed at first not because of what she had done ,but because she lied and tryed to hide it.If she would have ask me before I left I may have been mad for a few min. but I would of let her go through with it any way.It wouldn't hurt as bad if she had told me right away rather then letting herself get caught later.She said she didn't know who to come to me and talk about before or after,but if you really love your partner and they love you you must let each other know what you need to make you happy and it works both ways.She is afraid to let me be with any other women because she's afraid she'll lose me but it will never happen I just can't understand how she can expect me to give her all she want's when she doesn't want to give even a little.

(in reply to Viridana)

Post #: 10

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/26/2009 3:33:59 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2

its a bit tricky really. the guys in a situation like this have my sympathy too. but how could you rationalise leaving the little people cos you need kink. if everything else is good in the relationship what do you say to those kids when they ask you why you left.

i think people stick around in all sort of relationships for the kids. but also because they love/respect their spouse and dont want to leave them.

but yet, you have a right to be fully fulfilled. at munches and at a club i went to once, there were quite a few people married to vanillas who had a play partner. they had a strong connection and met regularly, but their spouses knew about it and im guessing were ok with it.

i dont think its so clear cut. which is why there are so many married people here. but to tell youre spouse that you want to get kinky with someone outside of the marriage, i mean, how do you even start that conversation without hurting them and confusing them.

You are not leaving because of your kink, you are leaving because your partner is unable or unwilling to to help you satisfy your needs. The thing that you must be able to do in convince the offspring that they are in no part to blame for this and that both partners sill love them. If someone leaves a relationship, they don't leave their offspring. Both partners have moral responsibility to see the the needs of the offspring are met, even at the expense of ones own. They did not ask to be born or placed in this position.
You knew this when you helped produce them. With that being said, staying together fopr said offspring is not always the best solution. Offspring, know and feel tension and it brings about fear and anxiousness and unhappiness in may cases.

Ending a relationship in hopes of finding another that incorporates ones" kink" is one thing, doing it just to get a little spanly, spanky is an entirerly a whole other matter.While there are vanilla partners who agree to allow one to get their needs met by someone else are showing how truly remarkable they are and what lengths they will go to keep their relationship intact, I not sure I would say that they are truly "ok" with it.

If you can't explain why you want this so badly then you should not be willing to destroy an relationship because of it. There is no way to avoid causing pain as many people will view this as "their" failing, not simply a logical conclusion to a very simple dilema.

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 11

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/26/2009 3:35:23 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Brief summary: OP believes that cheating on a spouse in order to get BDSM is wrong.

I agree.

Cheating on a partner is wrong in all cases, not just because it is BDSM

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 12

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/26/2009 4:38:02 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

This is really simple folks.
People don't do this when their needs are met. They do this when communication has broken down, when the couple don't touch, haven't had sex for years etc.
The only thing they stay for is financial and family. They don't care what the other person does as long as it's discreet and won't shame them in the eyes of outsiders.

Nobody ever says "Wow, here I am totally in love with a person who loves and respects me, so I think I'll fuck it all up by having a flaming affair".

For people who enter this lifstyle as simply a means to achieve some sort of sexual gradification are truly missing the beauty of this lifestyle, for it is much more than that. You do not have to enter this lifestlyel to find a partner who one can be able to commincate with or intimate with. Those needs can be met in a vanilla venue.

Staying for the family or financial reasons is poor idea. Family has a mutual commitment, you share life, deams and desires. If someone is not feeling that in the relationship they are in, they need not be in it as it may breed hostility, resentment and ultimately hatred. Finanaces can be difficult depending upon the situation, but not insurmountable. There may be sacifices that have to be made, but if that is what you have to do sometimes to achieve having ones needs met, then so be it.

Shame? LMAO, The only way one feels shame is if one believes what they are doing or allowing to be done is shameful. What other people may think about one's life decisions is of no concern of theirs and their opinions matter even less.

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/26/2009 5:03:31 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: deansslut

I'm one half of those couples.My wife really got into the lifestyle and I would let her have anything she wanted.We have been together for over 23 years (she was 13 and I was 14 years old when we got together.We had a male Domm that we played with and I was learning from .She thought that I wouldn't understand that she wanted to go farther then we were going so she met with him when I was out of town.It took me about a month to find out and I was crushed at first not because of what she had done ,but because she lied and tryed to hide it.If she would have ask me before I left I may have been mad for a few min. but I would of let her go through with it any way.It wouldn't hurt as bad if she had told me right away rather then letting herself get caught later.She said she didn't know who to come to me and talk about before or after,but if you really love your partner and they love you you must let each other know what you need to make you happy and it works both ways.She is afraid to let me be with any other women because she's afraid she'll lose me but it will never happen I just can't understand how she can expect me to give her all she want's when she doesn't want to give even a little.

Is it right or just, no. It sounds like she has some insecurity issues that she needs to come to terms with. If she gets to play, so do you. It can't be a one sided thing

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to deansslut)

Post #: 14

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/26/2009 5:39:07 AM

Acer49

Posts: 1434
Joined: 8/7/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Acer, I think what you've written here is very good. Darn near excellent, in fact. My only hang up with it is the phrasing of desires for kink, BDSM, or whatever people want to call WIITWD a need rather than a want. I think when we interchange one word for another, we actually add to the credibility of those making less than honorable choices and make it seem more justified. "Oh, I have a loving SO at home, but I *need* xxxx....." That actually doesn't wash with Me.

Please don't misunderstand. It's not that I think that our wants for sex, kink, or anything else in this category aren't pretty high when we're prioritizing all those things that aren't the actual needs that support life. I just know that certain things are actually higher on My list. My marriage is one and My personal integrity is another. That's just My way of doing things.

Truthfully, while I understand the position of those who want to be involved in WIITWD, My sympathy is more often for the spouse at home. I don't think anyone has the right to inflict that harm on their SO. Especially not if they gave them no opportunity to have the knowledge of what they are doing and not if they haven't given that person the opportunity to consent. That person at home has every right to make the choice to be vanilla and monogamous as we have the right to be kinky.

Does that mean that in some cases some hard choices might have to be made? Yes, it does. To Me, that's still a better option than the alternative.

Thank you for your post, Acer.

Thank you for your kind words...

I could not leave an otherwisre solid reationship for the " playtime activites" Those I consider wants. Casual play is like casual sex,it can be temporarily enjoyable, even downright great, but since there is no real commitment or emotional bond, after awhile, one asks themself "Is this all there is" I would never consider ever leaving an otherwise solid for that. Now,for a relationship that does create a solid bond, which also incorporates the playtime activites is what I view as a need.

_____________________________

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself.
Harvey Fierstein

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 15

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/26/2009 6:10:10 AM

johndafreak

Posts: 46
Joined: 3/26/2007
Status: offline

Many people are here to have their needs met, what makes one think that their needs are anymore important than their partner’s, a partner who one is either married to or has emotionally bonded with?
I will die alone.

People come here looking for among other things; respect, honesty and truthfulness, yet people have shown themselves to be incapable of such a commitment. What makes one think that anyone is going to trust or believe in them after they have shown their true colors?
Trust is simply saying O.K.

Some of those above listed people who are here, have little people at home. I wonder how they feel when one of them says” Gee, I want to grow up and be just like Daddy or Mommy”. How do people justify these actions to their offspring? How does one tell them to be morally correct, unless it involves getting one’s needs met.My son is 16 and he knows everything about me, I waited until I thought he could handle it,before that kept it hidden like my father did with the playboy mags, besides morals are mostly someone else telling you how to live. My job as a father was to teach my son how to think for himself.

This is not about people who have the consent of their partners. Nor is it directed to people who are in abusive relationships, people whose partners have drug, alcohol, gambling addictions, or who have been shown to be unfaithful. This is for people who have an otherwise decent, healthy relationship with their partner, but who feel their needs are not being satisfied. I am not here to judge anyone. What ones do is between their partners, their conscious their GOD and themselves. I am just trying to understand the mindset of individuals for who this applies. Someone once said that's an oximoron and I said who you calling moron

If I were in this position, I would decide what it is that I truly wanted and if my partner was unwilling or unable to meet my needs or give consent. I would without question, end the relationship. I do not believe people should stay in situations that require them to sneak around, or to be dishonest with their partner in any way. Neither my partner nor myself will ever be referred to as “One’s dirty little secret” Or get a mistress
Or evolve, Who am I to think that anyone can bang one person for the rest of their life? Goes against human nature 7 year itch and all that. also why would I not want my partner to enjoy what little bit of time we really have on this realm? And then why not let them be open or secret about these desires, maybe they're having more fun being secret.
Anyhow from what I remember, unconditional love means only one thing.

Thank you in advance for those who offer their input

_____________________________

PEACE

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 16

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/26/2009 12:04:55 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Acer49
If I were in this position, I would decide what it is that I truly wanted and if my partner was unwilling or unable to meet my needs or give consent. I would without question, end the relationship. I do not believe people should stay in situations that require them to sneak around, or to be dishonest with their partner in any way. Neither my partner nor myself will ever be referred to as “One’s dirty little secret”

I agree with you Acer. I have a life partner in order to be my partner in life. If that partner is unable or unwilling to satisfy the role, then they are not compatible with me, plain and simple. Of course, the discussion goes both ways. Were submitting to me poison for Carol, I would have to look very, very hard at whether this was truly required for my happiness (which it is not).

But, to Des' point...

quote:

People don't do this when their needs are met. They do this when communication has broken down, when the couple don't touch, haven't had sex for years etc. The only thing they stay for is financial and family. They don't care what the other person does as long as it's discreet and won't shame them in the eyes of outsiders.

I agree with this whole heartedly. It is always possible that there is truly no middle ground, but throughout all of my life, I have found such situations to be very, very rare. When both parties come to the table genuinely seeking common ground, it's there to find. Over the 15 years of our relationship, I have done TONS of things that were highly uncomfortable for me because they needed to be done for Carol's happiness. Over time, I have come to at least be comfortable with these things and frequently to like them. To me, that is what love is. It's not some empty word to mumble when there's some dead air space in the conversation.

Put differently, if the marriage is really a partnership, then the exploration is happening together, hand in hand. As Carol and I have bumbled down the road of D/s, it's been a lot of twistings and turnings and changes of direction and updates on goals. But through all of that, we worked it out together. When Carol recently said to me, "Maybe I don't want to be your slave." My response was "OK, let's explore how that'd work." And I set myself to that task.. not grudgingly, but with heartfelt commitment to it. I started internally reshaping myself and my worldview to match that goal. That is what partners do. In short, I also agree with Ladypact's point. Carol is significantly more important to me than either the kink side of BDSM or the much more rich (to me) lifestyle D/s component. Ultimately, I am crystal clear that what I need and want both is HER. I strongly suspect that that very statement is, in large part, why she is my slave.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 17

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/27/2009 8:48:06 AM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline

Considering I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about what I will write I will give the unbleeding heart version of this responce.

If you have a Partner that you commited to and then you find that they are not what you thought they would be and yet you have been 100% honest from day one about your needs wants and desires then the foundation you built the relationship on is faulty and should be either re-built or torn down.

The problem in this is that most people don't actually have the above. The first part is that few actally believe they have commited to anyone. And if they do believe they have commited you will notice they offten have restictions on that commitment. When I married my slave I made a commitment. No not the usual in sickness and in health till death do us part. No I chose to say that I would promise both good and bad times but that I would be there through them as long as we both agreed to activly move forward... the part not read in front of family but understood between my wife and I was "The second we aren't willing to move forward is when we draw up the divorce papers"

As one poster commented, what about the children. Guess what they already know, have known for some time, and are just as ready to make it stop so you guys can go about being happy and move on with your lives. I say this from experience and from about 2 years of Therapy that my parents thought I was going to need when they broke up. Most kids are okay with the divorce, what they aren't okay with is the fighting and the using of them to hurt the other parent whenever they can.

The next thing so many couples don't have is the 100% honesty. I see so much lying in relationships, please note that I see the things we don't tell our partners the same as lying to them. I have a bigger problem with the wife who was kinky who married a man who wasn't who gets on collar me week after week asking for advice on how to get him to dominate her. I have a big problem with this because it usually comes with the complete changing of the guys moral make-up to do it. The wife in this equasion wants things both ways she wants the loveing doting and thoughtful husband who hasn't a dark bone in his body and then she also wants this man to want to tie her up spank her and order her to lick the baseboards clean. Then when she finds out that she can't get the advice she needs she starts an online domination and hides that from her partner.... the one she was supposed to have commited herself to.

Finally is the inability to walk away when something is toxic. I see this more offten then not. the whole "But I love her/him" love is at times the worst foundation to build a relationship on... don't get me wrong it should be there just not what the foundation is built on. Why? you may ask? Well because love is one of those things that will make you do the stupidest things and convinve yourself they are necessary all in the name of LOVE! It's retarded! I love this person so I will stay with them and love them and be true to them.... except for all the nude pictures I send of myself to this guy in Russia and the orders to sodomize myself with a cucumber on the web cam. Love is what will make the above sound like an acceptable thing to do.

In reality there is no faithfulness in this situation. She is staying with someone who she no longer feels commited to because of the love commitment the whole relationship was built on. The fucked up thing is this isn't even a BDSM issue it's rampant EVERYWHERE!!

My opinion on this is be yourself 100% of the time. Anyone worth knowing should know who you are and accept you for who you are. Anyone worth spending time with should want to do some if not all of the same things you want to do.

The above should apply to all relationships period.

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 18

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/27/2009 10:09:52 AM

greeneyedreamer

Posts: 442
Joined: 6/20/2007
Status: offline

quote:

his is really simple folks.
People don't do this when their needs are met. They do this when communication has broken down, when the couple don't touch, haven't had sex for years etc.
The only thing they stay for is financial and family. They don't care what the other person does as long as it's discreet and won't shame them in the eyes of outsiders.

Nobody ever says "Wow, here I am totally in love with a person who loves and respects me, so I think I'll fuck it all up by having a flaming affair".

Thank you for not judging as others tend to do... LIFE isn't all neat and perfect, it has many twists and turns. It's not easy for anyone. I know there are those who are just out for kicks, then there are those who are there because without some real connection, they'll die. Lots of things get in the way of leaving those home relationships, and it's not for me or anyone to judge.

_____________________________

Dreamer, owned and ecstatically happy

I am still learning... Michelangelo, age 87

Maybe some women weren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they are suppose to run wild until they find someone just as wild to run with. Sex and the City

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 19

RE: Married People and the Lifestyle - 12/27/2009 12:13:22 PM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

I have some sympathy for them. But at the same time, so many men, no matter how many times you warn them not to get into vanilla relaitonships, insist on doing so. And of course they are miserable, and they cheat.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to Acer49)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Married People and the Lifestyle

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109