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FirmhandKY -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 1:25:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Marc2b quote: I learned something about male anatomy that day. Do you know about shrinkage? The "frightened turtle effect"? Do women know about this? Firm

GYPSYMAMBO -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 1:25:44 PM)
OP: I am pron to shit attacks and colin blow outs. once while taking the kids for a sleigh ride..pulling them............. a ll of a sudden it was badddddddddd.. I Could not hold it so ran down a back alley and went...in the snow; no paper?? I took one of the kids scarves..and wiped and away we went.. I thought they were too young to know anything.. Next summer we are out walking..and one kid points down the alley.. and says to my sister.. Thats where we saw mom's bum..she pooped and wiped on my scarf.. sick hay?auntie?"[image]http://www.collarchat.com/micons/m28.gif[/image] GM

Marc2b -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 1:34:48 PM)
quote: Thats where we saw mom's bum..she pooped and wiped on my scarf.. Years from now that kid is going to be paying a psychologist $180.00 an hour to tell the same story. So what became of the scarf?

thornhappy -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 3:33:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff That was pretty fucking gross dude. I dunno, I'm almost puking with laughter, and the thread's barely started! but I do have a weird sense of humor...

thornhappy -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 3:38:47 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY quote: ORIGINAL: Marc2b quote: I learned something about male anatomy that day. Do you know about shrinkage? The "frightened turtle effect"? Do women know about this? Firm Oh yes, we do. It's part of our initiation into the mysteries.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 3:40:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Marc2b quote: I will say though ... apparently, either you have a "loose sack", or mine is on the small side. Never had the "balls in the water problem" That's the only good thing about the balls in the water problem - it means you likely have big balls. comfortably average " Sorry Marc - its not big balls, its a scrotum that has succumed to the pull of gravity - and is very common among the over-40 crowd. [:D] And yes, my knowledge is purely professional - i get to shave scrotums with my job so i see quite a few! and all you male-types have my sympathy - i didn't realise that it was SO hard being a man ! hehe[:D]

Ladynslave -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 4:18:09 PM)
Working in the oilfield all we have available are port-a-potties. Being the only woman on the field usually, I had to share them with a large number of men. Add to that working in the winter with temps of 36 below with the wind howling at about 50mph on top of that. So, mastering the squat and hover was a major priority. About the worst was that some of them have urinals built in as well. Before I realized how much men actually splash, I set my gloves down on that side of the port-a-potty once. Thank goodness I had another pair in the truck. Also, men tend to drip, and the squat and hover can lead to some mis-aim, so you had to be pretty careful where you let the sleeves and collar of your cover alls dangle. Much easier to tie them at your knees. Edited to add... The nice thing about mastering the squat and hover is that it does marvelous things for your thighs.

thornhappy -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 4:21:55 PM)
Yeah, wassup with the drip? I'd think there would be an invention somewhere to get rid of that last pesky drop. Perhaps you could hold a small vibrator to the head of the penis to make it fall.

FirmhandKY -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 4:25:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thornhappy Yeah, wassup with the drip? I'd think there would be an invention somewhere to get rid of that last pesky drop. Perhaps you could hold a small vibrator to the head of the penis to make it fall. There is a saying among us guys ... "Shake it more than twice and you're playing with it.". Firm

SweetPoosy -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 4:32:26 PM)
OK, I can't believe I'm the first to post this, but for all of you guys with the problem of drooping nuts, there is a product for you...The Nut Bra! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zdDfQrPi5Q Enjoy!

SweetPoosy -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 4:36:37 PM)
And for my personal contribution, yes, women also can pee between the bowl and the lid, and get their pants wet. And not only that...there is a reason I HATE Charmin toilet paper...it doesn't hold up well, and whenever I use it, my finger inevitably goes through it...just at the most inopportune time. And we won't even go there when talking about the horrific nature of some women's periods. Nope. Not gonna even go there. *Edited for effing typos

FirmhandKY -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 4:41:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetPoosy OK, I can't believe I'm the first to post this, but for all of you guys with the problem of drooping nuts, there is a product for you...The Nut Bra! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zdDfQrPi5Q Enjoy! oh, that's frigging hilarious! Firm

thornhappy -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 6:28:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SweetPoosy And we won't even go there when talking about the horrific nature of some women's periods. Nope. Not gonna even go there. Well, there was this time when...Oh. Yeah. Don't want to scare the men. Carry on.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 7:02:21 PM)
As some of you know I recently had surgery to my ankle and I'm in a cast. For me with age, comes a lack of coordination. My body has a mind of it's own and apparently my bladder knows when I'm on the way to the bathroom. By the time I get there I'm in quite a hurry to pull down my pants and go. Well the day after the surgery, my son's best friend was staying at the house to help take care of me. I got up and hobbled to the bathroom, closed the door, and as I was trying to get turned around and pull down my pants, I began to lose my balance. My pants are now half way down, I'm wobbling and trying to find some way to keep from falling, I put my casted foot on the ground and scream in pain which of course causes a complete loss of control over my bladder. I was by this time positioned over the toilet so I did fall back and land on it, but not before a good amount of pee went on the floor, on my pants, and ran down my leg. It was a miracle that it only ran down my good leg instead of soaking the dressing to the cast. Meanwhile my son's friend is now outside the door asking me if I'm alright and should he come in. I managed to tell him no, but that he had to find me a clean pair of pants to hand in. I now plan ten minutes ahead that I might be needing to go.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 7:20:37 PM)
That was not the worst thing that happened however. This one is definately the grossest thing that has EVER happened to me. During Halloween time, I got my teenage son and a couple of his friends jobs at a local haunted hayride. None have licenses so since I was going to be doing all the driving, when they offered me a position running one of the wagons as a "tour guide/narrator," I took the job so I wouldn't only save on gas but make a little extra pocket money. The hayride -took place on a farm with a great cornmaze and all that. There were port-a-johns about 25 yards from the wagon loading spot. When we brought my wagon in for re-loading I took the walk over to the port-a-johns to pee before taking that bumpy trip again. As most of you know, there are no lights in those things, only vents up top. It wasn't that dark, and I opened the door and did the beautiful squat and hover described by someone else. I went to wipe and felt wetness on my hand. I figured I just peed on my hand, not a good thing, but far better than what turned out to be the reality. I grabbed some more toilet paper to wipe off my hand and in the dim light I saw a dark patch on my hand! My eyes miraculously suddenly adjust quickly to the light and I see that someone had taken a runny dump but completely missed the hole! It was all over that open space where the seat doesn't come all around. Now I'm furiously trying to clean off my hand with toilet paper and keep from gagging. Then I notice that some of the crap had gotten on my underwear and my pants! I took off my underwear and threw them in the hole and pulled up my pants, but there was still some excrement on my pants! Someone ELSE'S excrement! I go back to our loading spot and then run over to the chicken coop where there was some hand sanatizer and scrubbed my hands with that like 6 times. There was no way I could leave at that time, the kids were all out on the trails and there was no one else to run the wagons. Luckily we only did one more load and then called it a night. Driving home, I could smell the shit that was on my pants. I got home and immediately stripped off my clothes and jumped in the shower. Even though I was in there for like 30 minutes scrubbing over and over, it took another week before I finally felt clean. Embarassing as the whole thing was, I told the guys running the event and some of the other kids out in the field other than my own. We all laughed hysterically at my misfortune. For the rest of the season, I went and peed behind the chicken coops.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 8:06:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY Some bathroom humor here, so if you aren't a fan .... run away! I was sitting in my upstairs bathroom, "doing my business", when I noticed that I was absent the required paper cleaning supplies. Since I always have my cell phone on me (except in the shower), I called my lovely pet to bring me some ... While sitting there, several things occurred to me, about things we have probably all experienced from time to time, yet never - EVER - talk about. Let's talk about them. [:D] (I'm leaning towards "let's not").

Marc2b -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 8:18:14 PM)
quote: Sorry Marc - its not big balls, its a scrotum that has succumed to the pull of gravity - and is very common among the over-40 crowd. And yes, my knowledge is purely professional - i get to shave scrotums with my job so i see quite a few! and all you male-types have my sympathy - i didn't realise that it was SO hard being a man ! I've been having the balls in the toilet water problem ever since my mid-teens, so I'm sticking with the big balls thoery. Professional nut shaver, huh? Does it pay well? They'd have to pay me well to do it. Do they have professional pussy shavers?

Marc2b -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 8:20:45 PM)
quote: OK, I can't believe I'm the first to post this, but for all of you guys with the problem of drooping nuts, there is a product for you...The Nut Bra! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1zdDfQrPi5Q Sitting on the balls. AKA: unintentionaly self inflicted CBT. Ouch. I've had that problem too. Further evidence for my big balls theory.

thornhappy -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 8:43:22 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY quote: ORIGINAL: thornhappy Yeah, wassup with the drip? I'd think there would be an invention somewhere to get rid of that last pesky drop. Perhaps you could hold a small vibrator to the head of the penis to make it fall. There is a saying among us guys ... "Shake it more than twice and you're playing with it.". Firm Ah! Then you need a woman to do it.

FirmhandKY -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 9:20:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie quote: ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY Some bathroom humor here, so if you aren't a fan .... run away! I was sitting in my upstairs bathroom, "doing my business", when I noticed that I was absent the required paper cleaning supplies. Since I always have my cell phone on me (except in the shower), I called my lovely pet to bring me some ... While sitting there, several things occurred to me, about things we have probably all experienced from time to time, yet never - EVER - talk about. Let's talk about them. [:D] (I'm leaning towards "let's not"). As I said in the very first sentence: Some bathroom humor here, so if you aren't a fan .... run away! But ... obviously ... you didn't. Firm

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