RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (Full Version)

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maybemaybenot -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 9:28:35 PM)

You know when you have that funky poop ? The kind when you're finished and you wipe...... and wipe........ and wipe....... and wipe...... and it never ends ? you keep looking at the TP, wondering where it's coming from ?  Whenever that happens I wonder what a blind person does. How do they know when they are totally cleaned up down there. Hell, I am sighted and have thought I was nice and tidy, only to find out the next time I went to the bathroom, that there was a little smidge that snuck past me.

                                   mbmbn




FirmhandKY -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 9:29:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thornhappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: FirmhandKY

quote:

ORIGINAL: thornhappy

Yeah, wassup with the drip?

I'd think there would be an invention somewhere to get rid of that last pesky drop.  Perhaps you could hold a small vibrator to the head of the penis to make it fall.


There is a saying among us guys ... "Shake it more than twice and you're playing with it.".

Firm


Ah!  Then you need a woman to do it.



Damn straight!

Where's Treasure .... ?

Firm




greeneyedreamer -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 9:32:15 PM)

quote:

You know when you have that funky poop ? The kind when you're finished and you wipe...... and wipe........ and wipe....... and wipe...... and it never ends ? you keep looking at the TP, wondering where it's coming from ? Whenever that happens I wonder what a blind person does. How do they know when they are totally cleaned up down there. Hell, I am sighted and have thought I was nice and tidy, only to find out the next time I went to the bathroom, that there was a little smidge that snuck past me.

mbmbn


OH MY GOD yes... I wondered the same thing! giggles... yes that's surely gross




FirmhandKY -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/23/2009 9:33:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

You know when you have that funky poop ? The kind when you're finished and you wipe...... and wipe........ and wipe....... and wipe...... and it never ends ? you keep looking at the TP, wondering where it's coming from ?  Whenever that happens I wonder what a blind person does. How do they know when they are totally cleaned up down there. Hell, I am sighted and have thought I was nice and tidy, only to find out the next time I went to the bathroom, that there was a little smidge that snuck past me.

                                  mbmbn


oh, hell yeah!

I had some friends over, talking about this subject tonight, and this very thing came up.

Where in the hell does it come from? [:)][8D]

I'll have to admit, sometimes, I get so frustrated that I'll take some water and wash, and then a rag and wipe again, to finally get it all out.

Then I'll usually take a shower.

Damn bidets have a real reason to exists.  Some things, the Euros do have figured out, that us American's haven't.

Getting rid of crap is one of them. [:)]

Firm




breatheasone -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/24/2009 8:23:31 AM)

Does anyone spread their ass cheeks a bit when they are on the toilet trying to shit?.....anyone?

What about rocking?...Anyone do that sometimes? [:D]




Marc2b -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/24/2009 8:25:48 AM)

quote:

What about rocking?...Anyone do that sometimes?


Yeah, sometimes when I'm constipated (which doesn't happen much anymore thanks to Metamucil!) I do the rocking. It works.




Marc2b -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/24/2009 8:29:12 AM)

You know what I really hate? When you have a real grunting, groaning, sweat inducing, muscle pulling, hour long bout of constipation and when you finally get it out... "plink.' That's it! One tiny little piece of shit about the size of a small marble. All that work for that?!




breatheasone -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/24/2009 9:14:05 AM)

yeah whats up with that??... and the splash back is yucky too!




Level -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/24/2009 9:29:46 AM)

Getting stuck in a stall next to some old fucker, who's all "ummmmm", "ahhhhhhh" and shitting something out that even the EPA doesn't want to know about, and you can't leave, because you're half-finished.

Even worse, working with Annoying Woman; nastiest shitting betch of all time. I've quit lifting the toilet seat to piss, because her leftover splashes are all on the bottom of the lid, and I ain't wanting to gaze at it. Should have gave her a cork for Christmas.




pixidustpet -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/24/2009 10:11:58 AM)

rocking on the toilet seat?  check.
really atrocious women's plumbing related incidents?  oh most defintely.

but the GROSSEST thing is when the sprogs painted their walls with the diaper contents.  or when the beastly boy would NOT poop in the commode.  he'd hide in the closet and do his business in the pants.  and did NOT want to be cleaned up.

we still tease about the phrase "YOU JUST LEAVE MY POOP ALONE!!"

parenting.  not for the weak.

kitten




EbonyWood -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/24/2009 10:28:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Getting stuck in a stall next to some old fucker, who's all "ummmmm", "ahhhhhhh" and shitting something out that even the EPA doesn't want to know about, and you can't leave, because you're half-finished.



And then, while you're washing your hands, the cubicle door opens and a lost but happy little old lady wanders out...




Level -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/24/2009 10:29:55 AM)

LOL [:D]




laura2161 -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/26/2009 8:03:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

You know when you have that funky poop ? The kind when you're finished and you wipe...... and wipe........ and wipe....... and wipe...... and it never ends ? you keep looking at the TP, wondering where it's coming from ?  Whenever that happens I wonder what a blind person does. How do they know when they are totally cleaned up down there. Hell, I am sighted and have thought I was nice and tidy, only to find out the next time I went to the bathroom, that there was a little smidge that snuck past me.

                                  mbmbn


AHAHAAHAHAHAHAH. This has me laughing so hard I'm bout to pee my pants!! And yeah, I can SO relate.




kiwisub12 -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/26/2009 8:54:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b

quote:

Sorry Marc - its not big balls, its a scrotum that has succumed to the pull of gravity - and is very common among the over-40 crowd. And yes, my knowledge is purely professional - i get to shave scrotums with my job so i see quite a few!

and all you male-types have my sympathy - i didn't realise that it was SO hard being a man !


I've been having the balls in the toilet water problem ever since my mid-teens, so I'm sticking with the big balls thoery.

Professional nut shaver, huh? Does it pay well? They'd have to pay me well to do it. Do they have professional pussy shavers?



It pays about $30 an hour, and they let you wear gloves when you do it - and as a bonus you get to shave pussys also. Great job! And to think they pay me for it!

And to reply to the OP - when i came to America, i dipped my hand into the toilet water more than once(and it wasn't just toilet water by that stage). It took me a short think to realise that toilets in New Zealand are taller than ones in America - and my hand was working on NZ toilets.

I had to develope a whole new set of reflexs. One of the consequences of travel that i hadn't considered. [:D]




Sanity -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/26/2009 8:55:16 PM)


My neighbor lady must think I'm a real heathen. Our septic system was backing up last fall and I had a call in to have the tanks pumped the coming Monday but over the weekend prior to the appointment I thought I'd save a few flushes by urinating out back by my woodpile. Yeah, well, I got caught. [8|]

Another story - When I was a kid I once found the garden full of beautifully ripe strawberries, and I ate more than my fill. They were good, and I was really hungry that day. Several hours later I decided to take about a two mile walk over to my aunt's house to play with my cousins.

That turned out very badly. If you've ever overindulged on any kind of a fruit or berries you know what I mean, and during the time of panic I couldn't find a place to hide and take care of my business, and there was a lot of it. I was almost to my destination and so I had a two mile walk back in the summer heat with that wet, gooey mess in my jeans and running down my legs, even into my shoes.

When I got home my big brother noticed the smell and made me check the bottom of my shoes, because he just knew I'd stepped in something...

That was horrible.




kiwisub12 -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/27/2009 9:22:17 AM)

Hehe - when i was a kid, our family went for a holiday, with a caravan (mobile home?), in a caravan park. I bought a box of real licorice, and in one afternoon ate the lot. In case you don't know, real licorice is a laxative - which i didn't know.
And the bathrooms were across the park.
To make a long story short - i got poop on the first nice coat i had ever had - and was totally humiliated when i had to confess to my mother what happened. I was as sick as a dog!!!!!



and for the rest of the stay, i had to walk past the poop trail on the ground every time i had to go to the loo.




popeye1250 -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/27/2009 12:41:40 PM)

Firm, when I was a kid we used to hangout by the railroad tracks.
One time one of my buddys took a massive dump and as he hiked up trou we saw a budliner comming up fast!
He started running around looking for something to pick up his shit with and the train got closer. He couldn't find anything and finally just bent down picked up the pile of shit and winged it at the train and hit a passenger window with a guy behind it staring out! Great shot!
It all happened so fast! Then, he spent the next ten minutes cleaning his hand off!




thornhappy -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/27/2009 12:44:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b

You know what I really hate? When you have a real grunting, groaning, sweat inducing, muscle pulling, hour long bout of constipation and when you finally get it out... "plink.' That's it! One tiny little piece of shit about the size of a small marble. All that work for that?!

Well, I dunno.  I'd rather render up a marble than a "pine cone".




lusciouslips19 -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/27/2009 12:46:37 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Marc2b

quote:

What about rocking?...Anyone do that sometimes?


Yeah, sometimes when I'm constipated (which doesn't happen much anymore thanks to Metamucil!) I do the rocking. It works.


LOL Ive always thought women were lucky in that regard as we can go through the vagina and pull it down through the other side of the vaginal wall.




Level -> RE: Gross stuff we never talk about ... (12/27/2009 12:49:22 PM)

Do y'all ever take your pants off, pull your cheeks apart, and jump up and down on a trampoline, to de-constipate?

Just kidding.




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