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RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 7:47:28 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika


quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

I don't think there is anything wrong with anal sex, unless he out right refuses to let me do it to him. The male body is set up to ENJOY anal sex, the female body not so much. When a man starts denying himself sexual gratification based on some stupid homophobic mentality, that is when he loses all respect from me.



Most men aren't aware that their prostate can be reached anally and are reticicent for many reasons to try it, one absolutely being the learned opinion that it's a homosexual activity. But just as it is a learned opinion, it can be unlearned. Like everything, these things take time and communication.

I know many men who were adverse to it at first, but I can be very persuasive. In the end, I always get my way, one way or another ;-)

- LA


Yep. Also, straight dominant men I've known who have become cognizant of the pleasures of prostate stimulation and whose homophobia doesn't prevent it, will often "order" their submissives to stimulate it. :)

I have a question for you or other dom women reading this thread: I know women, in general, tend to enjoy penetration, and at least one dominant woman I have been with enjoyed it as well, and had no problems with recieving it and feeling dominant. Is that common among most dominant women (enjoying penetration, not just anal), or was I with an unusual femdom?


_____________________________

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"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 141
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 7:52:44 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Is that common among most dominant women (enjoying penetration, not just anal), or was I with an unusual femdom?


I know back in the day, this was a big topic. I contributed to the following 3 about 5 years ago:
sex with a personal slave and/or sex slaves
A Domme's Sexuality
Dommes & penetration

I re-read them now and I have a giggle. Not to mention that I re-read a post from one of my favorite posters ever, MizSuz who wrote:

quote:

Food for thought - If we concern ourselves over much with whether or not our pleasure meets someone else's notion of 'dominant' are we not conforming to the BDSM 'norm' and thereby negating (or at least compromising on) not only our non-conformist ideals but also our dominance? For me this is truth.


There surely have been more since. If you still have questions, I'd advise that in order to not derail this thread, that you ask the question in the Ask A Mistress forum. :-)

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 12/28/2009 7:55:47 AM >


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RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 8:09:09 AM   
ranja


Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

Yep. Also, straight dominant men I've known who have become cognizant of the pleasures of prostate stimulation and whose homophobia doesn't prevent it, will often "order" their submissives to stimulate it. :)



I am glad some do. but i do think this is quite unusual really...
it seems to me most dominant men do not like to receive anal stimulation...
and i think they are short changing themselves

if what is stopping dominant men from taking anal stimulation is the idea that to fuck the girl up the ass is how the bloke feels most ultimately dominant 'cos the Greeks did it that way (as if deviant sex started with them haha)... additionally she should NOT enjoy it... well... how very very moronic and clumsy and dumb

for them i would think it is time to reconsider...

(in reply to CaringandReal)
Profile   Post #: 143
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 8:12:00 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

Yep. Also, straight dominant men I've known who have become cognizant of the pleasures of prostate stimulation and whose homophobia doesn't prevent it, will often "order" their submissives to stimulate it. :)



I am glad some do. but i do think this is quite unusual really...
it seems to me most dominant men do not like to receive anal stimulation...
and i think they are short changing themselves

if what is stopping dominant men from taking anal stimulation is the idea that to fuck the girl up the ass is how the bloke feels most ultimately dominant 'cos the Greeks did it that way (as if deviant sex started with them haha)... additionally she should NOT enjoy it... well... how very very moronic and clumsy and dumb

for them i would think it is time to reconsider...


And on that note, reticent male Doms could learn a thing or two from sexually satisfied FemDommes! ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

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Profile   Post #: 144
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 8:19:10 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline
Hi subtle,

Posters are by and large giving their personal views on this subject, which don't really go far to explain what you're expereincing: the overwhelming popularity of the act among the dominant men who approach you. So here's one internet porn observer's view (and remember people it's just my view--I was very enthusiastic about internet fetishes at one time and heavily browsed the free porn that's out there--and the far more interesting discussions around it):

Anal's immense popularity, while always a minority practice with some, is largely a manufactured interest, a sex fad, started by internet porn and probably fueled just a bit by closet homosexuality seeking expression, not to mention ennui and jadedness with other practices: the curses of oversaturating a market with pornography. The pornmakers, always looking for ways to compete and turn out new interesting sites that the marks will buy first stumbled upon the whole choke-gag head-fucking thing. And that was a huge success and quite the moneymaker in its day! But eventually those sites got old and people got bored/grossed out hearing the closeup mike's rendition of squishy wet slobber, so the porno shops rediscovered ANAL!

About 7-8 years ago hundreds of anal porn sites emerged and if you went to the forums and chatrooms that teen boys and other early porn adopters (looks innocent) hung out in, all you would hear them talk about hushed tones was the abosulte ultimate: Anal Sex! The fad was trendy about 7-8 years ago and hit its mainstream peak in vanillaland about 4 years ago, but bdsm people, perhaps due to having their interests otherwise occupied, tend to lag behind the vanilla sex trends to so the online he-man dominant chest-thumpers you are likely to meet on a personals site like this are only now catching up to the whole kewl anal trend. They're acting as enthusiastic about it as the vanilla guys were several years ago and the trendy guys were twice that many years ago. What are the vanillas into now? (shrug) You'd have to read their websites to find out. Or wait five years for the guys on collarme to start raving about it. ;)

The answers you're getting here are a bit realer--they get into the connection of anal sex with bdsm. But I know the sorts that randomly write one on sites like this and the majority of these writers are not doing it for the reasons mentioned here, they're just rather mindlessly following a sex fad promoted up the... wazoo... by the porn makers. Anal is also relatively newer in bdsm porn than it is in vanilla porn because some laws have only recently (last few years) been relaxed. At one time, not too long ago, you were persecuted if you had penetrative sex and bondage/whipping together in the same film in the US--that's why sites like Insex always used dildos...or else they moved their headquarters to Europe. Now that this isn't a legal stumbling block, the bdsm filmmakers treat the anal penetration scene as the holy grail (aka the money shot): they save it for the ending of the film, which, kind of like the end of a 4th of July fireworks display that goes all out, tries to impress the customer and cause him to cum so that he will subscribe longer to their web site. And as people are, sadly, learning their sexual practices by watching internet porn: they think anal sex is the ultimate because the porno sites tell them it is so.

I've heard one dominant I know, who doesn't watch porn, describe anal as kind of boring. He says there is no tightness in the colon, just a little around the splincter, and if it didn't hurt/embarass the sub so much he probably wouldn't bother with that hole. The vagina and mouth feel much better to him.

PS: You know, your screen name isn't helping you out much here. :p

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to subtlebottomgirl)
Profile   Post #: 145
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 8:24:37 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Is that common among most dominant women (enjoying penetration, not just anal), or was I with an unusual femdom?


I know back in the day, this was a big topic. I contributed to the following 3 about 5 years ago:
sex with a personal slave and/or sex slaves
A Domme's Sexuality
Dommes & penetration

I re-read them now and I have a giggle. Not to mention that I re-read a post from one of my favorite posters ever, MizSuz who wrote:

quote:

Food for thought - If we concern ourselves over much with whether or not our pleasure meets someone else's notion of 'dominant' are we not conforming to the BDSM 'norm' and thereby negating (or at least compromising on) not only our non-conformist ideals but also our dominance? For me this is truth.


There surely have been more since. If you still have questions, I'd advise that in order to not derail this thread, that you ask the question in the Ask A Mistress forum. :-)

- LA


Well, let it be said that I don't derail a thread unless it's already wandered clear of the tracks a few times. I assume by that behavior, it desperately wants its freedom from the control-freak tracks! It might even be considered unusually cruel to keep it caged to its topic under such circumstances? ;)

I was just idly curious I think the links you provided should be enlightening. Thanks! But why do you giggle upon the re-read? Is what was true then a bit different now?

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 146
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 8:31:54 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Is that common among most dominant women (enjoying penetration, not just anal), or was I with an unusual femdom?


I know back in the day, this was a big topic. I contributed to the following 3 about 5 years ago:
sex with a personal slave and/or sex slaves
A Domme's Sexuality
Dommes & penetration

I re-read them now and I have a giggle. Not to mention that I re-read a post from one of my favorite posters ever, MizSuz who wrote:

quote:

Food for thought - If we concern ourselves over much with whether or not our pleasure meets someone else's notion of 'dominant' are we not conforming to the BDSM 'norm' and thereby negating (or at least compromising on) not only our non-conformist ideals but also our dominance? For me this is truth.


There surely have been more since. If you still have questions, I'd advise that in order to not derail this thread, that you ask the question in the Ask A Mistress forum. :-)

- LA


Well, let it be said that I don't derail a thread unless it's already wandered clear of the tracks a few times. I assume by that behavior, it desperately wants its freedom from the control-freak tracks! It might even be considered unusually cruel to keep it caged to its topic under such circumstances? ;)

Heh! I understand. I guess it might be ever so slight control freak in me that likes things in their place ;-)

quote:

I was just idly curious I think the links you provided should be enlightening.

Fantastic!

quote:

Thanks! But why do you giggle upon the re-read? Is what was true then a bit different now?

Well because I was about 5 years younger then, still trying to figure out what being a Domina meant to me -- not that I've found ALL the answers yet and there is much fun in discovering -- and I just found my questions kind of naive in a cute way. I was also thinking of the kind of advice I'd give myself today. It was a nice retrospective.

- LA



_____________________________

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Profile   Post #: 147
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 10:20:29 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: ranja

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

Yep. Also, straight dominant men I've known who have become cognizant of the pleasures of prostate stimulation and whose homophobia doesn't prevent it, will often "order" their submissives to stimulate it. :)



I am glad some do. but i do think this is quite unusual really...
it seems to me most dominant men do not like to receive anal stimulation...
and i think they are short changing themselves

if what is stopping dominant men from taking anal stimulation is the idea that to fuck the girl up the ass is how the bloke feels most ultimately dominant 'cos the Greeks did it that way (as if deviant sex started with them haha)... additionally she should NOT enjoy it... well... how very very moronic and clumsy and dumb

for them i would think it is time to reconsider...


And on that note, reticent male Doms could learn a thing or two from sexually satisfied FemDommes! ;-)

- LA


Anal can be a wonderful thing. Or so I've heard.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 148
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 11:07:16 AM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline
I thought I would REALLY enjoy anal sex---guess I read too much Tristan Taormino! As it happened, it was just "okay", and YES I tried it with more than one person. Until I can get my double penetration scene going, I doubt I will try it again. But yanno? If it's something that pushes my happy buttons, it is HAPPENING if someone finds it domly or not!

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Profile   Post #: 149
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 11:19:32 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

Is everyone anal ?

After rereading the entire thread, I think we've reached a resounding "yes".

(Pun intended, for those for whom the subtle use is not easily recognizable.)

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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 150
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 12:01:49 PM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
quote:

BDSM, then you're talking about the modern descendant of DeSade's


S stands for Sado ( from DeSade), just curious why do you refer to DeSade and mention the D ?

(in reply to Psychonaut23)
Profile   Post #: 151
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 1:37:06 PM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Is that common among most dominant women (enjoying penetration, not just anal), or was I with an unusual femdom?


I know back in the day, this was a big topic. I contributed to the following 3 about 5 years ago:
sex with a personal slave and/or sex slaves
A Domme's Sexuality
Dommes & penetration

I re-read them now and I have a giggle. Not to mention that I re-read a post from one of my favorite posters ever, MizSuz who wrote:

quote:

Food for thought - If we concern ourselves over much with whether or not our pleasure meets someone else's notion of 'dominant' are we not conforming to the BDSM 'norm' and thereby negating (or at least compromising on) not only our non-conformist ideals but also our dominance? For me this is truth.


There surely have been more since. If you still have questions, I'd advise that in order to not derail this thread, that you ask the question in the Ask A Mistress forum. :-)

- LA


Well, let it be said that I don't derail a thread unless it's already wandered clear of the tracks a few times. I assume by that behavior, it desperately wants its freedom from the control-freak tracks! It might even be considered unusually cruel to keep it caged to its topic under such circumstances? ;)

Heh! I understand. I guess it might be ever so slight control freak in me that likes things in their place ;-)

quote:

I was just idly curious I think the links you provided should be enlightening.

Fantastic!

quote:

Thanks! But why do you giggle upon the re-read? Is what was true then a bit different now?

Well because I was about 5 years younger then, still trying to figure out what being a Domina meant to me -- not that I've found ALL the answers yet and there is much fun in discovering -- and I just found my questions kind of naive in a cute way. I was also thinking of the kind of advice I'd give myself today. It was a nice retrospective.

- LA




Everything in it's right place... that makes sense. Some of my favorite people are rather like that. :)

I read the threads, they helped a lot. Those were very good threads, in fact. I don't see that sort of thread quality much these days, but perhaps I read the wrong threads. And thanks for explaining about the giggle. It didn't occur to me that you were engaged in a trip down memory lane, I thought you were implying "Look how silly we were back in the day."

Anyway, enough derailing for one day.

_____________________________

"A friend who bleeds is better" --placebo

"How seldom we recognize the sound when the bolt of our fate slides home." --thomas harris

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 152
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 5:01:10 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: CaringandReal

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

Is that common among most dominant women (enjoying penetration, not just anal), or was I with an unusual femdom?


I know back in the day, this was a big topic. I contributed to the following 3 about 5 years ago:
sex with a personal slave and/or sex slaves
A Domme's Sexuality
Dommes & penetration

I re-read them now and I have a giggle. Not to mention that I re-read a post from one of my favorite posters ever, MizSuz who wrote:

quote:

Food for thought - If we concern ourselves over much with whether or not our pleasure meets someone else's notion of 'dominant' are we not conforming to the BDSM 'norm' and thereby negating (or at least compromising on) not only our non-conformist ideals but also our dominance? For me this is truth.


There surely have been more since. If you still have questions, I'd advise that in order to not derail this thread, that you ask the question in the Ask A Mistress forum. :-)

- LA


Well, let it be said that I don't derail a thread unless it's already wandered clear of the tracks a few times. I assume by that behavior, it desperately wants its freedom from the control-freak tracks! It might even be considered unusually cruel to keep it caged to its topic under such circumstances? ;)

Heh! I understand. I guess it might be ever so slight control freak in me that likes things in their place ;-)

quote:

I was just idly curious I think the links you provided should be enlightening.

Fantastic!

quote:

Thanks! But why do you giggle upon the re-read? Is what was true then a bit different now?

Well because I was about 5 years younger then, still trying to figure out what being a Domina meant to me -- not that I've found ALL the answers yet and there is much fun in discovering -- and I just found my questions kind of naive in a cute way. I was also thinking of the kind of advice I'd give myself today. It was a nice retrospective.

- LA




Everything in it's right place... that makes sense. Some of my favorite people are rather like that. :)

I read the threads, they helped a lot. Those were very good threads, in fact. I don't see that sort of thread quality much these days, but perhaps I read the wrong threads. And thanks for explaining about the giggle. It didn't occur to me that you were engaged in a trip down memory lane, I thought you were implying "Look how silly we were back in the day."

Anyway, enough derailing for one day.


I'm glad you liked them :-)

I'm so glad that those women were around back then to help me sort all those myths out. And I've seen a couple of good threads lately, and the ones back then weren't always gems, but I tend to be a bit nostalgic when I think of how excellent the boards were back then. But I believe they have all the potential and all the right caliber of people to be that good again,

- LA

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Profile   Post #: 153
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/28/2009 10:06:58 PM   
Aswad


Posts: 9374
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Anal sex is today what a blow job was 50 years ago.


Commonplace?

Health,
al-Aswad.


_____________________________

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From then on I knew: God doesn't make the world this way.
We do.
" -- Rorschack, Watchmen.


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Profile   Post #: 154
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/29/2009 12:02:11 AM   
Justme696


Posts: 3236
Joined: 1/7/2008
From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
Status: offline
Good morning
I know what it means. But I was curious why you made de D fat and not the S when you referred to DeSade.

(in reply to Psychonaut23)
Profile   Post #: 155
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/29/2009 2:18:23 AM   
HisBestGirl


Posts: 67
Joined: 11/16/2008
Status: offline
I've never seen this ad before, obviously because I'm in Australia, but I find this image so disturbing...

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Profile   Post #: 156
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/29/2009 8:25:04 AM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven
If it's a hard limit, state it as such in your profile.

That's one way to approach it, but a lot of people don't actually *read* the profiles very thoroughly, or have a mindset of "limits are for pushing." Personally, I didn't want to put my limits or my preferences in my profile back when I was looking, I wanted a more personal conversation rather than a checklist approach.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 157
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 12/30/2009 6:38:10 PM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline
If you've ever taken a shit, you have had a roughly cock sized object stuffed in your ass already.

Most people do it every day - if it was going to stretch you out like an old sock, it woulda happened a long time ago.

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Profile   Post #: 158
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 1/1/2010 2:28:48 AM   
HisBestGirl


Posts: 67
Joined: 11/16/2008
Status: offline
Lol I'm not sure what kind of bowel movements you have but most turds are significantly less rigid and hard than a cock. My partner has an incredibly large cock (not to brag, it's actually rather uncomfortable) and I would probably faint if I passed something that large...

But I do agree with you re: stretching.


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Profile   Post #: 159
RE: Is everyone anal ? - 1/1/2010 6:01:20 AM   
eyesopened


Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened

Anal sex is today what a blow job was 50 years ago.


Commonplace?

Health,
al-Aswad.



LOL... I'd like to think so but oral sex really was considered "gross" and even today guys seem compelled to ask "Do you swallow?"   I thought everybody did.  I was surprised to discover that's not the case.

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Profile   Post #: 160
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