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Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 4:50:15 AM

Belladonna82

Posts: 171
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

Greetings Sirs and others,

Recently i have been thru a great ordeal and wanted others opinions.
In the past 2 weeks i've been thru hell.My previous Master told me he didnt want to speak to me for a long time lol but hoped we would stay friends. I came to him 10 months ago and things were going well, not saying we didnt have our us and downs but he didnt seem very unhappy. Sir manages a swingers club and he always had me present. Well a Wed he told me to stay with his mother for a few days he had to take care of some buiessness and that he would call me and text me reguarly,that he would miss me. He texted me and called me all the way up till Friday at at 3am saying he was proud to have me and that i was to be a good girl. He told me then for me to come down the next morning. Well at 5:45am he text me telling to wait for his call. I called him late that evening to see what was going on. He got very angry at me and told me i was pushy. Keep in mind he was telling me that morning how he would tell me to come now if it hadnt been so late. Well to go on he didnt talk to me till Sunday night and told me he needed to focus on just work and he would talk to me every other day but work was his main focus. Monday comes and he texts me and calls me telling me to be a good girl. Wed morning comes he e-mails me he doesnt want to talk to me for a long while and how he still wanted to be friends. He didnt wish for me to come get my things(he is supposed to be mailing them) cause he didnt want to deal with me right now.

Well now that i've wrote this...can anyone tell me what they think happened?

blessed be All

bella

_____________________________

Blessed be!

Post #: 1

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 5:05:45 AM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

Feels like he has involved himself with someone else to me.

Your better off without him, dont blame yourself.

hugs

(in reply to Belladonna82)

Post #: 2

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 5:10:38 AM

Belladonna82

Posts: 171
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

It hurts, but I do not blame myself it just came out of no where.He claims to still love me and want to be friends lol but right now all I want to do is stick a violet want to his nuts and say its not nice to lie lol ok that wasnt very submissive but heck i'm hurt that he led me to belive i would return when he prob had no attentions and i could have got my things then and then while I was in town kept telling me at this time i could pick up my things and then change the time 4 times in 3 days....I'm just frustrated ignore me.

_____________________________

Blessed be!

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 3

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 5:12:05 AM

DeaconAegis

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/17/2006
Status: offline

Belladonna,
Get as far away from this player as possible. If he doesn't have the integrity to interact with you openly and honestly, no matter the reasons, you'll never find grounds to trust this joker. Move on and don't look back.

< Message edited by DeaconAegis -- 3/19/2006 5:13:08 AM >

(in reply to slavejali)

Post #: 4

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 5:12:52 AM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

How sad that a "master" could use his role in your relationship to manipulate and mislead you. he's a jerk. you are a lovely girl and will easily find someone better.

Smythe

_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to Belladonna82)

Post #: 5

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 5:16:37 AM

Belladonna82

Posts: 171
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline

Thank you :) I do not plan to return....I begged to return for 4 days and now i'm just too exausted to deal with anyones games.....I pledged my heart mind body and soul and damn if i didnt even get a lousey t-shirt lol

_____________________________

Blessed be!

(in reply to Smythe)

Post #: 6

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 5:30:22 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

OK setting asside only getting one side of the story......

Flip-flopping and inconsistency isn't good.... from a sub let alone from a Dom. Frankly dear there could be any number of reasons for his actions, none of which I'd have much respect for because he SHOULD have made up his mind one way or the other and let you know clearly rather than keep changing his mind!

Find yourself someone with a better ability to make, carry out and communicate decisions.

Good luck

_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to Belladonna82)

Post #: 7

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 5:31:38 AM

Quivver

Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

Seems to me, for some reason he lost his ability to Master himself....
As I remember your posts here in times past, you had full trust,
possibly this is something Temporary he has to work through.
Then again In My MOST Humble of opinions he dropped the ball
pretty damn hard if your as crushed as you seem to be.
Bella I feel for you and wish I had some comforting words that
could work Magic to bring back the peace you knew.
Somewhere that Pease lies within you. I hope you find it quickly.

Q

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to Belladonna82)

Post #: 8

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 6:33:00 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I'm sorry this happened to you. Sometimes people have an inability to deal honestly with others, it sounds like you found one of them. I hope things work out for you. Be kind to yourself.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to Quivver)

Post #: 9

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 6:52:38 AM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I seem to remember you had problems with this Master before, you've been thrown out "so to speak" then taken back--I feel what I did before---he has issues.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to Belladonna82)

Post #: 10

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 9:03:22 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

You know, I'm sure this guy is an asshole and so on and so forth, but there is something I've always found revolting about discussing a relationship that's in the process of failing on an internet message board. We're only getting one side of the story. It's impossible for anyone, let along strangers you've never met, to be able to tell you anything constructive about your relationship solely on the basis of what you've declared about it. All we can do is say You go girl, Get away from that asshole...meaningless crap like that.

(in reply to Belladonna82)

Post #: 11

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 9:30:07 AM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

You know, I'm sure this guy is an asshole and so on and so forth, but there is something I've always found revolting about discussing a relationship that's in the process of failing on an internet message board. We're only getting one side of the story. It's impossible for anyone, let along strangers you've never met, to be able to tell you anything constructive about your relationship solely on the basis of what you've declared about it. All we can do is say You go girl, Get away from that asshole...meaningless crap like that.

An astute and clearly echoed sentiment.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 12

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 9:32:27 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

This isn't the first time he's sent you away either.

He can't deal with issues directly so he sends you away to avoid them, get what he wants and them string you along as security.

I've never held him in high respect and that's never been a secret, so you might see my words as just more acrid smoke on the fire. BUt a responsible adult in a healthy relationship does not just send the other person away when dealing with conflict. And he tries to push blame on YOU and make YOU feel bad so he doesn't have to face his own misdealings.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Belladonna82)

Post #: 13

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 9:35:36 AM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

You know, I'm sure this guy is an asshole and so on and so forth, but there is something I've always found revolting about discussing a relationship that's in the process of failing on an internet message board. We're only getting one side of the story. It's impossible for anyone, let along strangers you've never met, to be able to tell you anything constructive about your relationship solely on the basis of what you've declared about it. All we can do is say You go girl, Get away from that asshole...meaningless crap like that.

You know, Lordandmaster.. I don't think you go far enough. When I say that to these unilateral type posts my intention is to mean SO much less than that.

LOL....exactly.

Ron

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 14

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 9:42:03 AM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

What he said! This guy is no Dom, he's a player. Go find someone who has the ability to make the commoitment to his sub.

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

OK setting asside only getting one side of the story......

Flip-flopping and inconsistency isn't good.... from a sub let alone from a Dom. Frankly dear there could be any number of reasons for his actions, none of which I'd have much respect for because he SHOULD have made up his mind one way or the other and let you know clearly rather than keep changing his mind!

Find yourself someone with a better ability to make, carry out and communicate decisions.

Good luck

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to RavenMuse)

Post #: 15

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 9:54:01 AM

Smythe

Posts: 369
Joined: 12/31/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

You know, I'm sure this guy is an asshole and so on and so forth, but there is something I've always found revolting about discussing a relationship that's in the process of failing on an internet message board. We're only getting one side of the story. It's impossible for anyone, let along strangers you've never met, to be able to tell you anything constructive about your relationship solely on the basis of what you've declared about it. All we can do is say You go girl, Get away from that asshole...meaningless crap like that.

I understand your point, and yet, many people continue to post about their own point of view, one way or another, in various phases of relationships, here on the message board.
And many seem to feel that the responses they get are meaningful in some way. Simple support and affirmation may not be what makes the world go around, but it is apparently not completely meaningless crap.

I wonder if this is a male/female thing. you know those conversations where a woman tells you something that is bothering her, how she feels and so on, and you feel frustrated because you don't know what to do about it, or how to make it better...and then she says, "Oh, I feel much better now, I just needed someone to listen!" :) Men generally don't get that.

best
Smythe

_____________________________

Do not consider painful what is good for you.
Euripides

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 16

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 10:12:58 AM

theRose4U

Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline

quote:

You know, I'm sure this guy is an asshole and so on and so forth, but there is something I've always found revolting about discussing a relationship that's in the process of failing on an internet message board. We're only getting one side of the story. It's impossible for anyone, let along strangers you've never met, to be able to tell you anything constructive about your relationship solely on the basis of what you've declared about it. All we can do is say You go girl, Get away from that asshole...meaningless crap like that.

I would normally agree with you but a lot of the posters thought that her master was an asshole even when she was totally devoted to him. It's refreshing to have a situation like this an not have to change your opinion of someone for once.

Honestly bella I enjoyed what you had to say before you met this guy and have had you on block for many months because of the things said in his defence. Sorry for our situation but nice to see you realizing what others saw. All I can suggest is journaling your feelings and maybe looking back at previous posts with a new set of eyes. I think that you might finally be able to pick up on some of the patterns that we saw.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 17

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 10:24:07 AM

valeca

Posts: 403
Joined: 1/9/2006
Status: offline

This isn't the first time you've been tossed out, so to speak?

You might want to consider the old phrase, "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

It's always difficult when there are feelings involved, and certainly easy for someone on the outside to cooly give an opinion, but there comes a time when the ones on the 'inside' have to draw their line in the sand and say, "No more!"

He's already had his second chance. Are you really willing to give him a third? A fourth? A fifth? You'll have to decide where your 'line in the sand' is drawn.

Good luck to you.

_____________________________

~valeca, Owned and Operated by Loraith.

(in reply to Smythe)

Post #: 18

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 11:00:05 AM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

To the OP...am unable to recall past incidences..however..from what I have read it seems to me that your Master is unable to have a face to face confrontation of any kind..ok..I have to say it...He is a coward! IMO...he shows a lack of any moral fortitude,strength of character in essence a boy not a man in the true sense of the word.(note IMO).And I have to agree with what Smythe said about the need for someone to listen in order to start the healing process,men sometimes do not understand such a process they are the doers,they want to fix the problem and go on.Whereas women have to examine and vent and discuss about the next step......be well Bella...let the healing begin....Tempting

(in reply to valeca)

Post #: 19

RE: Just a question for those on here - 3/19/2006 12:31:02 PM

KnightofMists

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

well... I can honestly say I had absolutely no respect for him... simply because he has never earned it! The interactions i have had with him have only ensured to myself that he was a person that was highly unlikely to ever earn my respect.

Oh yes... I would NOT be surprized that he is reading this thread as well.... Don't be surprized if you get some sort of cheap manipulations coming your way after as result of what you have said and others. I suggest that you cut off communication completely... and if you must communicate.. only do so with others involved or in written exchanges.

but bella... I have often found you to have thin line of quality that was largely overshadowed by the influence from your ex-master. His influence has had some negative effects upon you... you need both to shed these influences and also consider what you are doing wrong in the first place. You need to stop allowing yourself to be a victim of this type of person... you been lucky thus far... but your on a slippery slope... and you need to get off it before you jump from one unhealthy relationship to another.

Start taking on the responsibility of your Well-Being! It's yours no one elses!

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 3/19/2006 12:45:56 PM >

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Belladonna82)

Post #: 20

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