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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 3:39:50 PM   
wisdomtogive


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

Seems to me that you (the OP) are talking about selfishness in a relationship. The "do-me" anything are selfish, in that anything they do, is for themselves, not the other.


Thank you for this. Yes, it is exactly what i am referring too.

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 3:44:52 PM   
Jeffff


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Status: offline 		I think they SAY they are willing to give and give and give, but I am not so sure. We only see whats posted here.

Back in the day, I used to hang in a few different chat rooms. Not here, elsewhere. Women, girls?, would come in and say shit like, "Hello I am a girl with no limits"

So I would respond, Great! I have been looking for you! I want to shit in your mouth"

Turns out, they DID have limits.:).

I think maybe they post publicly, what they think is appropriate. Not too many people that stupid could live to be very old.


Jeff

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 3:55:57 PM   
wisdomtogive


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Thank you

wisdom

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 3:56:42 PM   
Level


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Status: offline 		Yeah, surely tub girl has gone on to her maker by now, or at least took some Imodium.

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:02:14 PM   
CarrieO


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Women, girls?, would come in and say shit like, "Hello I am a girl with no limits"

So I would respond, Great! I have been looking for you! I want to shit in your mouth"

Turns out, they DID have limits.:).



Really...what more is there to be said.   I'm just getting a visual on what this meeting would be like offline.

Sometimes we find our limits in places and situations we never expected and that are totally unrelated (or so you might think) to D/s or bdsm.  Like I said...it's a live and learn sort of thing.

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:03:16 PM   
wisdomtogive


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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

wisdomtogive...

you're not the only one in a reflective mood lately, trust me.  I've come across my share of these "doms" and I see it all as lessons learned.  I had no real guidance when I started exploring, except for a Dom friend...yes Dom with a capital D because he is...who took me under his wing, so to speak, once he saw I was jumping in the deep end right from the start.  It really is a live and learn sort of thing, I think. 
It does bother me to read some of the posts of the new subs who seem so willing to give, give, give and expect nothing in return because they were told it wasn't submissive.  If two people agree on a dynamic that includes this type of behavior then fine...agreed and understood.  But, to think you shouldn't except love/emotional attachment/empathy from a partner because it's "un-subbie" is just a bit sad, imo.


It is sad, and many new submissives i ran into believe their new bright sparkling Dom would never try to play them. it is sad.

I do not even think it has anything to do with intelligence either. Sometimes it is just craziness though and wanting to do everything asked of them.

It is the time of the year where many start to reflect. Liken to the bear going within and viewing things when not asleep. Yes, i too made mistakes, yet i see it as the evolution of me. Plus being an Aries who tend to go where angels don't go, my curiosity gets the best of me.

Through the evolution of me, and still evolving;), i know now more about what and who i am. A great Dom who seriously carries the capital D and  who has been a close friend for over 2 years is now my Dom. i am ready now for emotional attachment. Wasnt before so the others suited me best.:)

Life evolves and we can go into the mystery or hide. Not one to hide:)
blessings
wisdom

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:06:04 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Theres a jar for every lid.



'Nuff said.



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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:07:31 PM   
wisdomtogive


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

Yeah, surely tub girl has gone on to her maker by now, or at least took some Imodium.



oy...way too funny!!!

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:08:57 PM   
Jeffff


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Status: offline 		LOLOLOL!

Two girls, one Level


Jeff

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:09:54 PM   
wisdomtogive


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Status: offline 		MasterSlaveLa, This thread though didnt have anything to do with different strokes for different folks. Totally not what my intention was. I am glad others understood it though.

< Message edited by wisdomtogive -- 12/26/2009 4:18:05 PM >

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:16:52 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I think they SAY they are willing to give and give and give, but I am not so sure. We only see whats posted here.

Back in the day, I used to hang in a few different chat rooms. Not here, elsewhere. Women, girls?, would come in and say shit like, "Hello I am a girl with no limits"

So I would respond, Great! I have been looking for you! I want to shit in your mouth"

Turns out, they DID have limits.:).

I think maybe they post publicly, what they think is appropriate. Not too many people that stupid could live to be very old.


Jeff



not picking on youre post especially jeff, just you brought up a point that prompted a thought.

i think that mostly some people look at the world from their perspective. when someone says, ill do anything, what they actually mean is, anything from their perspective. the moment you introduce someone elses perspective it opens up a whole other world of perspective they havent considered outside of their own fantasies.

no limits to me is a misnoma invariably. i would call myself a 'no limits' within a relationship where i know the M and i know that his tastes and interests compliment mine and within that structure i can say to him that i do not wish to ever say 'no' or have a safe word - i never want to challenge his control or decisions. - but i would not be involved with someone who wanted to shit in my mouth.

but to say that you are wide open to anything and everything when most people cannot possibly know that, when there is so much out there, - is in my view incredibly naive.

the 'do-me' guys are just another faction of the multiples out there. i think when you start out it is, for a time, all about you, in the sense that youre trying to explore, learn, experience but you also want to be careful about youreself. gradually you learn that submission isnt all about you.

the whole giving because you need to give
taking pain because you want to take it
put youre needs last because you tick that way
be humiliated because you need to be humiliated
the list is endless.

it can get confusing i think for the new folk coming in.

it took me a time to realise that whilst i wanted to give and i needed to give in whatever capacity it came that wasnt about me satisfying my needs, it was about me being me.

maybe its the same with the 'do me dom/mes' - its a phase, for them its in reverse of the 'do me subs'

hopefully they eventually realise that what they are doing is being themselves and finding a submissive who compliments them by being themselves will fulfill them more.

..... but you will always always get people who are just out for themselves.

i was having a conversation with an ex today, about my narcisstic mother - i realised that her behaviour is due to a personality disorder. it was always about her and always will be. some people just are like that and will never change.



< Message edited by lally2 -- 12/26/2009 4:21:25 PM >

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:19:20 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		It seems we have the same mother. Does this mean I can't bang you?


Jeff

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:21:58 PM   
breatheasone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive

MasterSlaveLa, This thread though didnt have anything to do with different strokes for different folks. Totally not what my intention was. I am glad others understood it though.

i gotcha....i feel like there are always going to be so called D-types that take advantage of s-types at every opportunity. i also know that their are s-types that take advantage of D-types....in your OP you ask what our take on it was....MY take on it is that its shitty behavior. Its a real shame it happens. There are women that feed on that kind of treatment. Healthy?, not for me to say.


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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:23:35 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff
So I would respond, Great! I have been looking for you! I want to shit in your mouth"


Somehow, I originally read this as 'I want you to shut up.'

Somehow, it made the same amount of sense, that way. :)

Aren't there certain people that, if they had no limits at all, that would be all ou would really ask of them? (maybe me....)

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:23:57 PM   
LafayetteLady


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From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

But, to think you shouldn't except love/emotional attachment/empathy from a partner because it's "un-subbie" is just a bit sad, imo.


That I think is the problem in a nutshell. Someone new comes into this, they have these feelings and interests and are really unsure of most things. Then someone who calls themselves "dom" (mainly because they don't like people calling him "dick") tells them what is "real" and "true." Does "frenzy" have something to do with it? Maybe. After all, when someone has been having these feelings and not realizing that there is a whole "community" of people who have those kinds of feelings, it is hard to not want to dive in with both feet. But at the same time, if you wanted to, you could look at that as a whole different type of "do me" person, because they are jumping in with both feet wanting to experience the things they have been fantazing about.

Better that either side look around and find out what is "real" and "true" for them because there isn't one way for all as most of us know. On the other hand, regardless of your "title" we are all into this because it makes us happy.

For those who are looking for unemotional attachments, as everyone says, be up front from the start. To me it goes past selfishness to allow someone to invest in you emotionally when you have no intention of ever reciprocating.

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:26:09 PM   
lally2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

It seems we have the same mother. Does this mean I can't bang you?


Jeff


no it doesnt.


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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:26:11 PM   
sunshinemiss


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Status: offline 		I think that the "do me Doms" are ones that just don't care about the sub or don't know how.  Either of which is perfectly fine, as long as it is clear.  Kind of like one night stands.  If you want x and the other wants y, then we have a problem.

Some "do me Doms" are that way only during certain periods of their lives (same with some "do me subs").  We all have times when we need to be cared for.

However, the "do me Doms" that don't take care of the submissive soon find themselves alone. 

Best,
sunshine

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:27:40 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive

This thread though didnt have anything to do with different strokes for different folks. Totally not what my intention was. I am glad others understood it though.


Did YOU not write, "...are s-types happy with a do-me Dom?" in your OP?!!

As such, SOME "s-types" would be "happy" with a "do-me-Dom", and SOME would not.  Thus, as breatheasone stated (and that which I agreed with), "Theres a jar for every lid."  Maybe it was not your "intension" to solicit a response to this part of YOUR OP, but given there was a QUESTION ASKED (Please note the use of a Question Mark (?) in your OP), then you're going to get answers/responses to said question... again, in YOUR OP. We can argue about this if you like, but I suspect that'd be counter-productive to your thread.



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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:32:18 PM   
lally2


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive

This thread though didnt have anything to do with different strokes for different folks. Totally not what my intention was. I am glad others understood it though.


Did YOU not write, "...are s-types happy with a do-me Dom?" in your OP?!!

As such, SOME "s-types" would be "happy" with a "do-me-Dom", and SOME would not.  Thus, as breatheasone stated (and that which I agreed with), "Theres a jar for every lid."  Maybe it was not your "intension" to solicit a response to this part of YOUR OP, but given there was a QUESTION ASKED (Please note the use of a Question Mark (?) in your OP), then you're going to get answers/responses to said question... again, in YOUR OP. We can argue about this if you like, but I suspect that'd be counter-productive to your thread.




why do you have to be so phucking contentious the whole time. nit picking over semantics when the OP qualified her post and added a disclaimer.

its just getting boring.


< Message edited by lally2 -- 12/26/2009 4:36:43 PM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:33:01 PM   
Jeffff


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Status: offline 		Cool.



Jeff

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