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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:33:40 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		I am glad you understand what i was getting at candy. And yes, it is true we can't control how others do things, and at least for me that is good. no one in their right mind would want me controlling the world..chuckles..<ewg>

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:35:02 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

One thing i learned early in my few years into BDSM was about the 'do me sub'. The one who is mainly into her own pleasures. From what i have read and listen to people talking, this type of sub is not usually sought for a long term Ds or Ms relationship. The reason mostly is they do not think of the 'we' in relationships but just me, me, me.


My best friend is a total topping from the bottom do-me sub and proud of it. She isn't selfish, as she gives a lot back to him, but that's just the way their relationship works. She and her boyfriend have been together for 6 years. I would call that relatively long term.

- LA

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:35:09 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive

This thread though didnt have anything to do with different strokes for different folks. Totally not what my intention was. I am glad others understood it though.


Did YOU not write, "...are s-types happy with a do-me Dom?" in your OP?!!

As such, SOME "s-types" would be "happy" with a "do-me-Dom", and SOME would not.  Thus, as breatheasone stated (and that which I agreed with), "Theres a jar for every lid."  Maybe it was not your "intension" to solicit a response to this part of YOUR OP, but given there was a QUESTION ASKED (Please note the use of a Question Mark (?) in your OP), then you're going to get answers/responses to said question... again, in YOUR OP. We can argue about this if you like, but I suspect that'd be counter-productive to your thread.




Thank you for corecting me on this. Will need not to be so lax on what I am trying to express.
Thanks again,
wisdom

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:36:30 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		Thanking everyone for posting, and am finding this really informative. As i said i just in one of my pondering moments, which lasts for awhile:)

wisdomtogive

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:38:05 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive

This thread though didnt have anything to do with different strokes for different folks. Totally not what my intention was. I am glad others understood it though.


Did YOU not write, "...are s-types happy with a do-me Dom?" in your OP?!!

As such, SOME "s-types" would be "happy" with a "do-me-Dom", and SOME would not.  Thus, as breatheasone stated (and that which I agreed with), "Theres a jar for every lid."  Maybe it was not your "intension" to solicit a response to this part of YOUR OP, but given there was a QUESTION ASKED (Please note the use of a Question Mark (?) in your OP), then you're going to get answers/responses to said question... again, in YOUR OP. We can argue about this if you like, but I suspect that'd be counter-productive to your thread.




why do you have to be so phucking contentious the whole time. nit picking over semantics when the OP qualified her remarks and added a disclaimer.

its just getting boring.



Why do YOU have to insert your big, nosey self in things that don't concern you?  If you'd bothered to notice, I "qualified" where MY remark came from.  Learn to read and get a grip on some common sense.  Both you and the OP could have simply ignored my post to this thread, which did nothing more than agree with another poster.  But instead, you run your mouth, yet again.  THAT IS GETTING BORING... and is only working to hijack another person's thread!!!




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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:39:21 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		I've met Doms of the do-me variety. They don't always show their selfishness early on so I get sucked into talking and/or meeting a few times but I do catch on and subsequently dump them. The do-me's are fine if all you want are some encounters of a casual nature but I'd been looking for a relationship and it didn't suit me to be with someone who was focused on themselves.

I stayed with one do-me Dom for a little while right in the beginning because he flipped buttons of mine that made me stupid for a bit and he was my first Dom which played into the whole sub frenzy thing. My awakening came when he mentioned that fairly soon I'd be expected to give him anything I had that he wanted (money, house, car, etc). In my mind we weren't even an exclusive couple yet but he was telling me I was to be basically married to him without the benefit of actually being legal. After pondering it further I realized that he had no house, no reliable car, no extra cash so of course he wanted mine and was trying to appropriate it under the umbrella of D/s. Riiiiight.....time to move on. Besides that one ncident it was obvious from his actions and from the things he said that I was there for his overall glorification and pretty much nothing else- it was all about him.

I'm glad for the awakening to D/s that he gave me.
I'm glad I realized he was a complete weenie.
I'm glad I picked myself up at that point and moved on down the line to find out things about BDSM for myself.
I'm also glad he gave me some good lessons on how to find a more worthy partner. Living well is the best revenge. I have the bestest guy in the world now and I'm ridiculously happy. If being with weenies was what I had to do to get to this point where life is good then I'd like to line them all up and honestly thank them from the bottom of my heart

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Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:39:31 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive

This thread though didnt have anything to do with different strokes for different folks. Totally not what my intention was. I am glad others understood it though.


Did YOU not write, "...are s-types happy with a do-me Dom?" in your OP?!!

As such, SOME "s-types" would be "happy" with a "do-me-Dom", and SOME would not.  Thus, as breatheasone stated (and that which I agreed with), "Theres a jar for every lid."  Maybe it was not your "intension" to solicit a response to this part of YOUR OP, but given there was a QUESTION ASKED (Please note the use of a Question Mark (?) in your OP), then you're going to get answers/responses to said question... again, in YOUR OP. We can argue about this if you like, but I suspect that'd be counter-productive to your thread.




Thank you for corecting me on this. Will need not to be so lax on what I am trying to express.
Thanks again,
wisdom


Wasn't correcting... just explaining.  Sorry for any confusion.



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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:43:27 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive

This thread though didnt have anything to do with different strokes for different folks. Totally not what my intention was. I am glad others understood it though.


Did YOU not write, "...are s-types happy with a do-me Dom?" in your OP?!!

As such, SOME "s-types" would be "happy" with a "do-me-Dom", and SOME would not.  Thus, as breatheasone stated (and that which I agreed with), "Theres a jar for every lid."  Maybe it was not your "intension" to solicit a response to this part of YOUR OP, but given there was a QUESTION ASKED (Please note the use of a Question Mark (?) in your OP), then you're going to get answers/responses to said question... again, in YOUR OP. We can argue about this if you like, but I suspect that'd be counter-productive to your thread.




Thank you for corecting me on this. Will need not to be so lax on what I am trying to express.
Thanks again,
wisdom


I'm in agreeement with the "Theres a jar for every lid" comment. Everyone has their own motivations and desires. As breatheasone mentioned in an earlier post, is it always the healthiest dynamic, perhaps not, but who are we to judge.

As for the OP, don't worry about having half formed ideas when you post. I do it all the time and some have given me flack for doing it too. But one of the reasons why we start threads is to help flesh out our half formed ideas. If we had a good grip on the subject before hand, it would be unlikely, but not impossible, that we would feel the need to gather opinions on the matter.

What can help in the future appease some people who tend to get their knickers in a twist are disclaimers, like the one you put up, saying something like "here are some of my half-formed ideas which are totally up for debate".

- LA

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Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:49:22 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: wisdomtogive

This thread though didnt have anything to do with different strokes for different folks. Totally not what my intention was. I am glad others understood it though.


Did YOU not write, "...are s-types happy with a do-me Dom?" in your OP?!!

As such, SOME "s-types" would be "happy" with a "do-me-Dom", and SOME would not.  Thus, as breatheasone stated (and that which I agreed with), "Theres a jar for every lid."  Maybe it was not your "intension" to solicit a response to this part of YOUR OP, but given there was a QUESTION ASKED (Please note the use of a Question Mark (?) in your OP), then you're going to get answers/responses to said question... again, in YOUR OP. We can argue about this if you like, but I suspect that'd be counter-productive to your thread.




why do you have to be so phucking contentious the whole time. nit picking over semantics when the OP qualified her remarks and added a disclaimer.

its just getting boring.



Why do YOU have to insert your big, nosey self in things that don't concern you?  If you'd bothered to notice, I "qualified" where MY remark came from.  Learn to read and get a grip on some common sense.  Both you and the OP could have simply ignored my post to this thread, which did nothing more than agree with another poster.  But instead, you run your mouth, yet again.  THAT IS GETTING BORING... and is only working to hijack another person's thread!!!






you are consistently contentious. just about every post is bitching about someone or something. so you were agreeing with another nit picker. the whole disclaimer, judgemental bollox that goes off on here is truely tiresome.

everyone knows wisdomtogive is a gentle, uncontentious, unnassuming poster here. but you have to get youre oar in whenever you can. its boring, is all im saying. so ill skip youre posts from now on. youre always predictably irritating and i come here to chill out, who needs it.

edited to add: sorry breathsone, i just realised that she was referring to you and you werent nit picking, you were simply suggesting that its a case of each to their own. appologies.

< Message edited by lally2 -- 12/26/2009 4:50:59 PM >

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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:54:54 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline 		Lally2, no worries.

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Mike posts in black font
candy posts in pink font

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:55:18 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
There's a jar for every lid.


Very nicely said!
I may steal that, shamelessly pretending I said it first.

As to the topic, yes, there are selfish jerks on both sides of the kneel, people who hide their self-centered ways under the shroud of "alternative lifestyles" or whatever is handy.

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:55:59 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone

Lally2, no worries.


cheers. xx

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So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 4:57:44 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2


Blah, blah, blah... stuff a sock in it, already.  Your rantings are beyond boring, and if you'd been READING, you'd see the OP and I are not at odds with each other.  YOU are the only one carrying on here, and YOU ARE ONLY SERVING TO HIJACK THIS THREAD.



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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 5:00:13 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Hijacking is what I do..... or used too.

As I said I am rusty. Give me a couple of days and I will be fine.

Give me a week and I will be moderated.

give me an inch.....................

Jeff

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 5:01:26 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		Lady angelika
Thank you for both posts, and your suggestion on the 2nd post:)

by the way i really do like your s/n

wisdom

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 5:05:47 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


Posts: 3991
Status: offline 		As a follow-up comment (and hopefully more in line with what you were asking)... some would argue many (if not most) of the alleged dominants on sites like this are of the "do-me-Dom" type, as defined in the OP as those who think, "Life circles all around them instead of the D/s". 

Obviiously there are opportunists of sorts who view the Power Dynamic only in this light... or what I often refer to as the Power Dynamic "only flowing in ONE direction", where I personally view both D-types and s-tyes as being "cut from the same cloth, just from different ends."  However, to provide a bit of balance, there are also s-types that DESIRE this type of dominant.  As to how this "sits" with me?  Eh... water finds its own level.




< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 12/26/2009 5:08:35 PM >

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It's only kinky the first time!!!

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 5:06:49 PM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		Lally
On your one post on the other page, you mention about new Doms and thank you. I never gave that any thought. It would be like going into a 'candy store'.:) okay i am hungry for chocolate:)

That part is understandable on both sides of the kneel. The sad part are those of older age or claim to been in this for a long time, and claim to know the only way. A new sub can get really confused by all that, and feel lack of worth in their own submission. That is a part that i do hear from others, and to try to tell them differently, they can't cope with it..at least at first. It goes against what their 'dom' said.

I think it takes time and growth too, to realize a person cloaking in domhood doesnt make him a Dom verses an abuser.

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RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 5:08:46 PM   
breatheasone


Posts: 4004
Joined: 7/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: breatheasone
There's a jar for every lid.


Very nicely said!
I may steal that, shamelessly pretending I said it first.

As to the topic, yes, there are selfish jerks on both sides of the kneel, people who hide their self-centered ways under the shroud of "alternative lifestyles" or whatever is handy.

Meh, i wish i could even take credit...i remember hearing my grandma say it....

< Message edited by breatheasone -- 12/26/2009 5:09:13 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 5:20:10 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		OP, I think I see your point.  "Do-me sub," is usually intended as a negative term, whereas you will hear it heralded on many posts that, "It is all about the Dominant..."  I'm not disparaging that ideal.  I'm merely pointing out that there seems to be a slightly askew double standard, whether or not it is implicit, implied or even intended.

(in reply to breatheasone)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Do ME - 12/26/2009 5:23:16 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		But, is it really a double standard, or the way a lot of this works?

A very general question, I know.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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Profile   Post #: 60
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