the romance v the reality of d/s (Full Version)

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osf -> the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 8:36:03 PM)

this thread is about the over romanticizing of d/s relationships and the negative impact it has

i want to dispel the myth of saint dom and strong independent submissive

if he's a saint and she is independent what need she they of each other

what is the real meaning of a sexual dominant and submissive and what do they have to contribute to the relationship, notice i didn't say to each other as it is my belief that both serve the relationship and through that render what the other wants

this is about hard core d/s

this thread is open to comment

i don't have all the answers, just the answers that work for me




subtee -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 8:51:19 PM)

And if he is an ass and she is dependent, what can they even give each other?

*DISCLAIMER: this is a question, not vitriol, nor screeching, nor shrill, nor is it even sarcastic.



osf -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 8:53:47 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

And if he is an ass and she is dependent, what can they even give each other?

*DISCLAIMER: this is a question, not vitriol, nor screeching, nor shrill, nor is it even sarcastic.


nothing, there has to be an interdependence of need and desires

something more complimentary than often found in nilla



subtee -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:00:57 PM)

Then how do you see the over-romanticizing? What does that look like?



osf -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:03:02 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

Then how do you see the over-romanticizing? What does that look like?


mostly it come down to not understanding the personalities involved and their roles



subtee -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:04:53 PM)

So that would be, specifically but just for an example, a submissive brat?



osf -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:08:12 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: subtee

So that would be, specifically but just for an example, a submissive brat?


sorry, no such thing as a submissive brat, just a brat playing at being submissive

the point is going in you say what you are then be what you say



Dominasola -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:17:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

this thread is about the over romanticizing of d/s relationships and the negative impact it has




What kind of negative impacts do you see this "over-romanticizing" of D/s relationships having?



osf -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:19:03 PM)

quote:

What kind of negative impacts do you see this "over-romanticizing" of D/s relationships having?


it gives people contemplating a relationship unrealistic expectations



subtee -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:23:33 PM)

actually there are indeed submissives who characterize themselves as brats.

This may be the crux at which you find unrealistic expectations. It just happens all the time.



sweetsub1957 -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:25:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

this thread is about the over romanticizing of d/s relationships and the negative impact it has

I rather like a romantic D/s relationship.  Sir and I were very much in love and romantic, but at the same time very much D/s and very secure in our "roles," and knew who and what we were.  We both brought a lot to the relationship and to each other. 



osf -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:28:48 PM)

quote:

I rather like a romantic D/s relationship.  Sir and I were very much in love and romantic, but at the same time very much D/s and very secure in our "roles," and knew who and what we were.  We both brought a lot to the relationship and to each other. 


im talking about over romanticizing the relationship, not love within the relationship

two different things



sweetsub1957 -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:32:08 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

I rather like a romantic D/s relationship.  Sir and I were very much in love and romantic, but at the same time very much D/s and very secure in our "roles," and knew who and what we were.  We both brought a lot to the relationship and to each other. 


im talking about over romanticizing the relationship, not love within the relationship

two different things

Being in love with an idea of what the relationship should be and then being disappointed when that's not how reality stacks up?



osf -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:36:17 PM)

quote:

Being in love with an idea of what the relationship should be and then being disappointed when that's not how reality stacks up?


yes

it's best to know the realities and limitations before jumping in, first you have to know what you need as a sub from the relationship and what price you're willing to pay, because there is always a price



subtee -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:38:12 PM)

Why am I always on a plane or a fast train?
Oh what a world my parents gave me
Always traveling but not in love
still I think I'm doing fine
Wouldn't it be a lovely headline?
Life is beautiful
on the New York Times



osf -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:39:51 PM)

???



sweetsub1957 -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:42:59 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

Being in love with an idea of what the relationship should be and then being disappointed when that's not how reality stacks up?


yes

it's best to know the realities and limitations before jumping in, first you have to know what you need as a sub from the relationship and what price you're willing to pay, because there is always a price

I agree with that.  It makes perfect sense.  Even vanillas should think things through before they jump in blind.



Dominasola -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:46:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

it gives people contemplating a relationship unrealistic expectations


I realize that.  I was wondering more what kind of unrealistic expectations you are referring to.  Do you have any specific examples in mind?



osf -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:46:44 PM)

quote:

I agree with that.  It makes perfect sense.  Even vanillas should think things through before they jump in blind.


but for you as a sub the price is even greater, after all you want a person to whom you give authority

and he is going to have a mind of his own and his desires may not always be attuned to yours



osf -> RE: the romance v the reality of d/s (12/28/2009 9:48:13 PM)

i have no universal examples, for what is easy for one may not be for another



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