quote:

who are offended by what I say have the problem, not me.  Generally speaking I am kind and diplomatic, but I have become more blunt.  I even swear *gasp*.  I tell people off.  But when I do, it is because I actually care.  If I didn't care, I would ignore them (there are a few people on these boards that I do in fact ignore). 

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

when i see profiles that say in big big leters i'm taken/owned etc, i wonder how long before her ass is back here

i don't discuss my personal affairs on here so i don't look the fool if it goes bad

quote:

He also said that you could go to a thousand demos, but if you didn't develop skills of communication, you'd never be good at much.

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

who are offended by what I say have the problem, not me.  Generally speaking I am kind and diplomatic, but I have become more blunt.  I even swear *gasp*.  I tell people off.  But when I do, it is because I actually care.  If I didn't care, I would ignore them (there are a few people on these boards that I do in fact ignore). 

it's one thing to express yourself passionately it's another to be rude and insulting when doing so

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

He also said that you could go to a thousand demos, but if you didn't develop skills of communication, you'd never be good at much.

thats all in my journal written years ago

quote:

You know, in certain dynamics, you have to jump in with both feet from the moment you both agree to be engaged with each other in pursuing the possibilities of a relationship.  This may mean changing your profile status.  It doesn't mean that you've made a commitment to marriage, or some such thing, it just means you're dating - like a vanilla couple. 

quote:

Maybe, but he's banging Nina Hartley.  Are you?

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Why should they do that?  Why should they tone it down?  Who are you to make that judgment?

That is just total nonsense.  Sure, there is foolishness.  Absolutely.  But so what?  Foolish is fun.  Celebration is joyous!  Shouting from the rooftops is glorious!  Thank goodness there are people that are like that!  Thank goodness people know how to appreciate the blessings they have.  Hallelujah!!!  Do the happy wiggle dance!!! Throw confetti in the air!

And live...LIVE... LIVE...LIVE

Live Juicy! (SARK)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf



we were both new at this, i had just found out there was a scene, it takes a dom a few years and a couple failed relationships to figure it out

quote:


Foolish is fun.  Celebration is joyous!  Shouting from the rooftops is glorious!  Thank goodness there are people that are like that!  Thank goodness people know how to appreciate the blessings they have. 

Hallelujah!!!  Do the happy wiggle dance!!! Throw confetti in the air!

And live... LIVE... LIVE...LIVE

Live Juicy! (SARK)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Why should they do that?  Why should they tone it down?  Who are you to make that judgment?

That is just total nonsense.  Sure, there is foolishness.  Absolutely.  But so what?  Foolish is fun.  Celebration is joyous!  Shouting from the rooftops is glorious!  Thank goodness there are people that are like that!  Thank goodness people know how to appreciate the blessings they have.  Hallelujah!!!  Do the happy wiggle dance!!! Throw confetti in the air!

And live...LIVE... LIVE...LIVE

Live Juicy! (SARK)

it's called opinion

and it's mine, i would keep it more mute

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf



we were both new at this, i had just found out there was a scene, it takes a dom a few years and a couple failed relationships to figure it out

Not just dominants. ::chuckles:: I'll cop to another early mistake (and anyone who has read my stuff will already know this as I've shared it before but it is thread appropriate) .. thinking that I could serve 'my' way instead of 'his' way and that we'd all just be happy campers since I was sooooooo uber cock-sure of my submissive nature. That one took a lot longer to a) see and acknowledge and b) get over serving the way I 'thought' I should instead of the way he wanted me to serve. That one never did fly that well in his household but sure took me a long time to get the point of D/s in his view rather than my own. Fortunately, caveman or not, he's very patient and saw something worth working towards with me and we've been together for .. well, 2010 will see us celebrate 14 years together so somethings working!

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


to my way of thinking the dom is the one that decides whether a relationship progresses it is up to him ti make the right decisions in the submissive assuming she is willing. so if he chooses badly and things go belly up, i blame him. if he wants to be in charge then the lions share of the responsibility is his also

now to the point sometimes you just have to condition her

quote:

Himself never set about to do anything other than tweak me for his preferences and that, absolutely, included conditioning me but only to the extent that he wanted me without all the layers and walls. He wanted the core to be exposed so he could ascertain the viability of long term with me. Until I was comfortable showing him who I really was, we danced and played and had fun and all that, but the growth and how much we have blossomed together was delayed for a few years getting there.

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
when i see profiles that say in big big leters i'm taken/owned etc, i wonder how long before her ass is back here

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Mean Ass bitch ain't she osf......LOLOLOLOLOLOL


Jeff

Believing
In
Total
Comprehensive
Honesty????


You bet.


Being
In
Total
Control (of)
Him


<shrug>


Works for Me, too.

I love this, LadyP!!! 

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I'm thinking my post was a bit misleading.  It wasn't early in my BDSM adventure.  In fact, I thought I knew what I was doing.  I knew the safety measures, taught them at munches, ran clubs etc.  I knew what I liked, and wanted.  I wasn't a rookie.  What I didn't know, was that I could take all the recommended safey measures, and still find myself in such a bad situation.

He wasn't a total stranger.  I met him at a munch, and spent a good bit of time getting to know him.  We discussed limits.  Talked on the phone, and met publicly and on the surface seemed compatible.  People liked him.  There was nothing in his demeanor, that indicated he was a threat.  He wasn't pushy...or anything else that 'new and delicate subbies' are warned to watch out for.  On the surface, he was great. 

Beneath the surface, he was sexually dysfunctional, and the only way he could find gratification was to do things that were not concensual.  Things that had been agreed upon as off limits.  I won't elaborate.  The specifics aren't really relevant.

Afterward, I spent a great deal of time trying to figure out what I did wrong to have ended up in the situation I found myself in.  It took some time but I came to terms with the fact that you really can do all the right things and still end up in a bad situation.  My mistake, was believing that all the safety measures I'd been taught (and taught others myself) were a guarantee of no harm. 

Upon reflection, I felt as if I'd implied something in my first post that was inaccurate and by omission - untrue.  Just felt some clarification was in order.