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AquaticSub -> RE: why is money so important (1/4/2010 5:32:43 PM)
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ORIGINAL: xssve
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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
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ORIGINAL: xssve
I'd listen to eyesopened - the fact is most women get married when they're thinking of have kids, and kids cost money - I don't think I've ever actually gone looking for somebody to marry, it sounds like a vanilla approach to me, I've always just hung out with women I liked, and who liked me.
Oh noes, vanilla. Cause if it's vanilla it must be bad. I have just about always dated with marriage in the back of my head. While I was exceedingly casual about who I got together with, I was very aware that I was dating to find someone that I wanted to settle down with and I'd rather do that sooner than later. So as soon as I realized that I wasn't interested in them for the long haul, we broke up and I moved on. Sure, it's in the back of your mind, depending, I always wanted kids, but it isn't in the back of everybodies mind, particularly in BDSM. I've never seen even one profile in here advertising for a husband or a wife - LTR maybe, and I'm aware that people do get married when they find the right person, I'm not averse to getting remarried myself although I'm a little gunshy at the moment, and presumably, eventually, the majority do - but when you dated, did you stop dating a person when you decided they weren't marriage material?
Yes actually. That's what I just said. Anyone I date for more than a month or so, I start figuring out if they are worth the long-haul. I started doing that in high school. I didn't want to be married for the sake of being married, but I never saw any point in being exclusive with anyone who wasn't a potential life partner.
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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
When Val and I started dating, when we were both about 20, I was already very aware that I was a submissive. We actually talked about what we wanted in terms long-term goals because neither of us wanted to waste time when our long-term goals didn't match.
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At 28, yes, many women are beginning to think seriously about settling down, the biological clock starts ticking, and economic security is going to be a factor.
Huh, I was thinking about that when I was 20. Athough economic security didn't play into my selection of partners beyond "Can we, as a couple, keep ourselves alive and in relative security and comfort?". Good for you. Statistically speaking however, the average age of first marriage has been rising steadily and is currently hovering somewhere in the early Thirties - i.e., people are spending more time developing careers before they settle down.
Just sayin' that just because there the stats are rising doesn't mean that individuals are going to behave that way. Nor, for that matter, I am that unique among my female friends. We're also not conversative if you were wondering. [;)]
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ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
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If you're that desperate though, you can always join a Church - some of those Christians are into that "Taken by the Hand" stuff nowadays.
Otherwise, you'll have to do it the old fashioned way and knock some dumb bitch up, and your' kinda back to square one.
How is knowing that you want to get married desperate in any way?
While I don't advocate someone wanting to be married just to be married, if you know that is what you'd like, there is nothing wrong with it. Valyraen and I knew that we wanted to be in a stable, loving relationship and that we wanted to be married - long before we were even seriously thinking of having kids beyond the "someday that would be nice" phase.
I seriously don't see how even wanting to be married is vanilla or kinky.
Getting married or even wanting to get married isn't either Vanilla or Kinky, being obsessed with getting married is more typically associated with Vanilla, IMO - not saying there are not exceptions, but it's often one of those things people do for no other reason than it's expected of them.
It's just kind of unusual to hear a man complain about it, maybe the culture is a little different here - the Christians all have to get married or stay virgins - everybody else is playing musical beds.
Just my perceptions, not scientific.
I'm not sure where you got that the OP is obessed with getting married except the conclusion that he must be since he is a man who wants to get married. [8|]
It's entirely possible that he's putting the cart before the horse, I got that impression a bit myself but that doesn't make him obessed.
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