Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: What's too far?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What's too far? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:29:36 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

My problem is really distinguishing between what are "normal" BDSM desires and what's stepping over the line into abuse and whatnot.

There's your issue: there are no "normal BDSM desires", just popular ones.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

Is it "acting" that makes everything ok, where genuineness makes it dangerous? Or am I off base here?

Consent makes it okay. The rest is mostly irrelevant.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:31:00 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		None of my fantasies have ever been all that out there or strange or too much so that I wouldn't act on them so any fantasies I've ever had I acted out in real life or there's the possibility of it being so in real life in the future.

I would guess though that for some people there are fantasie that are hot but would/could/should never be acted upon such as Dolcett fantasies. Sure it might seem hot in your head but do you really wanna die? No, of course not but the fantasy could possibly spice up the sex life as they imagine it happening to them.

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:34:36 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

NZ, while I love ya, when I said I didn't want to share I wasn't being coy.

The situations you describe don't apply, STDs aren't a concern and it's not having a partner that stops me.

I'm sorry I didn't clarify with a bit more dissociation: I was proposing the gangbang hypothetical not because I thought it applied to you personally. It was just the first concept that seemed to deal with an x factor (wanting something that necessitates not knowing exactly what will happen) that popped into my head.

And I only further mentioned the partner issue again to try and clarify if you were coming at it from a place of suspecting the psychological issues, which would be along the lines of what the OP is dealing with, not because I was trying to make this about you and personal information of yours.

< Message edited by NihilusZero -- 1/10/2010 1:36:04 AM >

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:34:40 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

My problem is really distinguishing between what are "normal" BDSM desires and what's stepping over the line into abuse and whatnot.

In that case, may I suggest running some searches (the box is at the top of the page) on the things you are looking for if you aren't comfortable starting threads on them? You may find that they have already been discussed.

quote:


Another example: someone mentioned Nazi/Jew role playing in a previous thread - that definitely goes over to the dark side, in my opinion, if one person is actually Jewish. Not condemning it, but what results from derogatory, anti-Semitic speech in a deeply vulnerable psychological state? What if the person "playing" the Nazi really believes what they're saying? Is it "acting" that makes everything ok, where genuineness makes it dangerous? Or am I off base here?


Ok, since I believe you are refering to a comment I made...

What results from it is going to depend on the person and the specifics. I hope this doesn't piss off CM but I can link you a discussion on this type of play in a Jewish group I run on Fetlife if you are interested.

To a certain extent, I think you might be getting caught up in the "what ifs" to the point where you are hindered by them. To someone who enjoys it, I suspect they would get as much pleasure the Nazi/Jew play as I do from being called an utterly worthless whore. As for if they really believe it... fuck if I know. If they're happy and keeping their anti-semitic views away from me, there isn't much point in me worrying about it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:36:43 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

I think that's a question better answered by honest introspection. Does being in a constant state of submission and servitude make slaves incompetent of thinking of themselves assertively/positively out in the world?

Aren't we just talking degrees and intensities? Could you handle one instance of being heavily objectified (understanding you want it because it makes you happy) without being paranoid that you have brainwashed yourself next time you're out in public? What about twice? Ten times? What if the berating was particularly intense?

If you are supressing something that would bring you happiness for the inability to relinquish the fear that it will compromise you somehow, I suspect you are already being "unhealthy" to yourself.




Does being in a constant state of submission and servitude make slaves incompetent of thinking of themselves assertively/positively out in the world? I don't know. Is the slave in question being treated with love and respect, or treated as less than a person?

And how many times I could handle something before feeling brainwashed would probably depend a great deal on who my partner was and how much he could get into my head. If he could really hit my vulnerable spots, with these particular fantasies, I think it would not take much.

As for suppressing something that would bring me happiness, I think you're probably very right. But I think instead of "happiness" you should say "pleasure," because they're not quite the same thing. And aren't there some pleasures that you just shouldn't enjoy, even though the experience would undoubtedly be earth-shatteringly amazing? Ecstasy (X) comes to mind.

Please don't mistake my arguments as how I definitively feel - I'm just trying to figure out where I stand on the issue because I really can't tell what's me being nervous and judgmental and what's me being smart about my mental health.

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:37:27 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

NZ, while I love ya, when I said I didn't want to share I wasn't being coy.

The situations you describe don't apply, STDs aren't a concern and it's not having a partner that stops me.

I'm sorry I didn't clarify with a bit more detachment: I was proposing the gangbang hypothetical not because I thought it applied to you personally. It was just the first concept that seemed to deal with an x factor (wanting something that necessitates not knowing exactly what will happen) that popped into my head.

And I only further mentioned the partner issue again to try and clarify if you were coming at it from a place of suspecting the psychological issues, which would be along the lines of what the OP is dealing with, not because I was trying to make this about you and personal information of yours.



It's all good.

Honestly, I don't think these fantasies require a lack of control in the midst of it happening. It's the concern about the emotional aftermath, something messy, nearly impossible to screen and predict.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:41:30 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
Does being in a constant state of submission and servitude make slaves incompetent of thinking of themselves assertively/positively out in the world? I don't know. Is the slave in question being treated with love and respect, or treated as less than a person?

Don't take this the wrong way... but it shows that you're new to the boards. Go do some searchs on "doormat" and hang around in the submissive/slave forum. You'll get your answer very quickly.
quote:


And how many times I could handle something before feeling brainwashed would probably depend a great deal on who my partner was and how much he could get into my head. If he could really hit my vulnerable spots, with these particular fantasies, I think it would not take much.

Well hopefully it won't be handling but enjoying and thriving. It's really hard to comment without knowing honestly. If your kink is brain-washing that's one thing. Humiliation another.
quote:


Please don't mistake my arguments as how I definitively feel - I'm just trying to figure out where I stand on the issue because I really can't tell what's me being nervous and judgmental and what's me being smart about my mental health.



As a serious suggestion, it might do you some good to hang around in the ask a sub/slave forum and read through some old threads.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:43:41 AM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

So, if they had a fantasy to do it an did do it, and aren't "wrong"...then the act itself is not "wrong". It is either a compatible act with someone's happiness or it isn't. So the question becomes: do some people have a neurological quirk that makes them desire things they really don't desire (which is a vague beginning basis for what constitutes most psychological disorders) or are people really inwardly wagging their own finger at themselves until they choose to shove their fantasies into the "think, don't do" box?


I understand your line of thinking but you're never going to get a satisfactory answer. You're looking for a rational explanation to a human condition.

I have had fantasies, relatively tame ones, that came true, that I did not enjoy in the slightest. Among other things, I'm not a masochist, in fact I'm overly sensitive and I hate pain. So something that might seem so hot in my head, where there's no physical activity to cause pain, will be awful for me in real life.

Someone else could have the same fantasy, act it out, and love it. So it's not the fantasy or the act itself, it's the person. I disagree with your categorization of "desiring things you don't really desire" because generally speaking, most fantasies aren't about the act itself. They're about a representation of a concept.

Take a gang bang fantasy - one woman might fantasize about it because she enjoys the thought of being used like an object, another woman might like the thought of being forced against her will, another might like feeling so irresistable that many men can't keep their hands off her, another might like the pain of having her genitals bruised and swollen...the reasons why a person fantasizes about a certain thing will influence whether they enjoy acting it out.

As far as this:
quote:

Why not? What exactly is getting harmed in most of these hypothetical cases apart from our own subconscious moralities?


I think you underestimate the value of self image. Not everyone considers being called a hedonist a compliment...but everyone does have to live with themselves. I don't enjoy having casual sex - the act itself isn't fun for me - but even if I did enjoy it, I still would not want to be the type of person who had casual sex whenever I was in the mood for it. I wouldn't be able to respect myself, my friends wouldn't respect me, the type of men I am interested in a relationship with wouldn't respect me, and so on.

As composite human beings worth more than the sum of our private parts, we have to balance our instinctual drives with self-awareness. We get to define ourselves as who we want to be, and sometimes that means choosing which thoughts to act on and which ones to keep as thoughts.

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:45:31 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

Does being in a constant state of submission and servitude make slaves incompetent of thinking of themselves assertively/positively out in the world? I don't know. Is the slave in question being treated with love and respect, or treated as less than a person?

The last question is a red herring. It seems an easy question to answer because "love" and "respect" are almost universally considered "good things". But, if as person is genuinely made happy by not being treated with respect and love, then they become a hindrance (unhealthy).

This is why I keep coming back to it being an issue of introspection. The whole basis of WIITWD is based on coming to terms with socially 'bad' things about us that we can actually look upon in a positive light.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

And how many times I could handle something before feeling brainwashed would probably depend a great deal on who my partner was and how much he could get into my head. If he could really hit my vulnerable spots, with these particular fantasies, I think it would not take much.

So you don't really want to believe the berating, you just want to try it on occasionally? That too is a personal preference to be discovered so you're better able to understand what traits in a partner are more likely to yield it for you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

As for suppressing something that would bring me happiness, I think you're probably very right. But I think instead of "happiness" you should say "pleasure," because they're not quite the same thing. And aren't there some pleasures that you just shouldn't enjoy, even though the experience would undoubtedly be earth-shatteringly amazing? Ecstasy (X) comes to mind.

Nope. I don't there are any consensual pleasures that should not be enjoyed. Just understand the repercussions of what you're engaging in.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

Please don't mistake my arguments as how I definitively feel - I'm just trying to figure out where I stand on the issue because I really can't tell what's me being nervous and judgmental and what's me being smart about my mental health.

Certainly no harm at all in erring on the side of caution to begin with!


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:49:58 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

Someone else could have the same fantasy, act it out, and love it. So it's not the fantasy or the act itself, it's the person. I disagree with your categorization of "desiring things you don't really desire" because generally speaking, most fantasies aren't about the act itself. They're about a representation of a concept.

Take a gang bang fantasy - one woman might fantasize about it because she enjoys the thought of being used like an object, another woman might like the thought of being forced against her will, another might like feeling so irresistable that many men can't keep their hands off her, another might like the pain of having her genitals bruised and swollen...the reasons why a person fantasizes about a certain thing will influence whether they enjoy acting it out.

Good points. Just further nooks in crannies of introspection for each individual.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

I think you underestimate the value of self image. Not everyone considers being called a hedonist a compliment...but everyone does have to live with themselves. I don't enjoy having casual sex - the act itself isn't fun for me - but even if I did enjoy it, I still would not want to be the type of person who had casual sex whenever I was in the mood for it. I wouldn't be able to respect myself, my friends wouldn't respect me, the type of men I am interested in a relationship with wouldn't respect me, and so on.

That too, though, is just another representation of consensual self-censorship based on the appropriation of cultural norms and mores. Not saying people aren't free to manacle themselves like that...I just find it awfully self-defeating.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to Elisabella)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:55:19 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Don't take this the wrong way... but it shows that you're new to the boards. Go do some searchs on "doormat" and hang around in the submissive/slave forum. You'll get your answer very quickly.

As a serious suggestion, it might do you some good to hang around in the ask a sub/slave forum and read through some old threads.



Thank you for suggestion. I have no doubt that I seem new to the boards, as I really am :) I appreciate everyone's advice on this, by the way, seeing that I'm being completely vague :)

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:57:56 AM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

That too, though, is just another representation of consensual self-censorship based on the appropriation of cultural norms and mores. Not saying people aren't free to manacle themselves like that...I just find it awfully self-defeating.


That would depend on whether the goal is 'freedom from social constrictions' or 'happiness and satisfaction with your own life.'

If it's the latter, there are as many paths to that goal as there are human beings.

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 2:05:38 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

I think you underestimate the value of self image. Not everyone considers being called a hedonist a compliment...but everyone does have to live with themselves. I don't enjoy having casual sex - the act itself isn't fun for me - but even if I did enjoy it, I still would not want to be the type of person who had casual sex whenever I was in the mood for it. I wouldn't be able to respect myself, my friends wouldn't respect me, the type of men I am interested in a relationship with wouldn't respect me, and so on.

That too, though, is just another representation of consensual self-censorship based on the appropriation of cultural norms and mores. Not saying people aren't free to manacle themselves like that...I just find it awfully self-defeating.




That's actually a really good way of putting what I'm trying to express. I don't think I could respect myself (or at least, respect myself in the same way) after going through with the types of things I'm fantasizing about, and I don't know if I could trust that my partner would respect me either. Doesn't stop me wanting it. So which is the right instinct to follow?

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 2:17:46 AM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB


quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

I think you underestimate the value of self image. Not everyone considers being called a hedonist a compliment...but everyone does have to live with themselves. I don't enjoy having casual sex - the act itself isn't fun for me - but even if I did enjoy it, I still would not want to be the type of person who had casual sex whenever I was in the mood for it. I wouldn't be able to respect myself, my friends wouldn't respect me, the type of men I am interested in a relationship with wouldn't respect me, and so on.

That too, though, is just another representation of consensual self-censorship based on the appropriation of cultural norms and mores. Not saying people aren't free to manacle themselves like that...I just find it awfully self-defeating.




That's actually a really good way of putting what I'm trying to express. I don't think I could respect myself (or at least, respect myself in the same way) after going through with the types of things I'm fantasizing about, and I don't know if I could trust that my partner would respect me either. Doesn't stop me wanting it. So which is the right instinct to follow?



*Grins* I feel like I'm the angel on your shoulder and NZ is the devil. Except he probably thinks he's the angel!

I really cant advise you on what the 'right' instinct to follow is. Because it's all about who you want to be. If the two things you want are incompatible (a certain self image and acting out certain fantasies) it'll take awhile to decide which means more to you...it might even take a bit of trial and error.

What I will say is that neither way is the 'wrong' way, but it can be the wrong way for you. And also, what might drive a wedge between you and one partner might be something that brings you closer to another partner. Not all men like the same type of woman and all that...but as you get further to the extremes of sexuality the harder it is to find a partner - and that's on either end! The 26 y/o waiting-for-marriage virgin I know is probably going to have a rougher time finding a guy than someone who's into gangbangs or whatever.

Anyway I know that didn't really answer your question but it's not a question I can answer. Give it time. And this is going to sound really awful but...if you want to dip your toe in to see if you might really like it, see if you can do it safely with a casual play partner. It's always a relief to know that the only person who knows about the crazy experimentation you did is someone who doesn't even know your last name

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 1/10/2010 2:21:27 AM >

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 2:18:30 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:



Thank you for suggestion. I have no doubt that I seem new to the boards, as I really am :) I appreciate everyone's advice on this, by the way, seeing that I'm being completely vague :)


Glad to see you didn't take offense. Usually I see threads where people are complaining about all the damn uppity subs and slaves that talk too much and disagree with dominants/masters so seeing a question about if subs/slaves lose their ability to think... it just makes me giggle. Sorry.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 2:38:53 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

*Grins* I feel like I'm the angel on your shoulder and NZ is the devil.




Tell me about it :) And I actually like your idea about finding a casual play partner to act stuff out with, but because of the specifics of the fantasy, I can't.

Ok, I give up. I'll just say it. None of you can actually see me, so it can't be that embarrassing, right? So one fantasy is to be completely head over heels in love with someone (a Dom, specifically) who doesn't love me back, and who uses that to manipulate me (in the meanest psychological ways) into an almost catatonic state where I can't think straight or even speak, and who then uses me to get himself off however he wants.

There, I said it. Now I'm going to go hide in a hole :)

(in reply to Elisabella)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 2:56:18 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Awww, don't hide.

While it wouldn't be the reality of the situation, you know that you can indulge that fantasy with a dominant that does love you. And once he's used you in every hole, got you covered in jizz, told you how utterly worthless you are, how he could never possibly love a pathetic bitch like you but maybe he'll consider fucking you again if you go buy him some beer...

He can wrap you up in a blanket and nuzzle your hair.

I wouldn't suggest structuring a relationship off that fantasy but... yeah. You can find that, love that, enjoy that and still have a healthy, happy relationship where you retain your own mind.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 3:39:43 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		I dont fantasize very often but when I do nine times out of ten they are things that will probably remain just fantasies or need a very specific type of person to act them out with.

One of my most recent fantasies actually shocked me, which was new to me, I had a vivid daydream about being violently beaten up, kicked punched etc something that I know I won't act out because in reality I would not enjoy it as much as I did in my day dreams, thats where the line is for me. I don't dismiss any fantasy I just think about them, knowing myself as I do whether I think I am ready to live them out, sometimes I store them away for when I am ready, sometimes I think they are best simply as a fantasy.

We can't control where our minds wander, sometimes they wander places that we find disgusting and thats fine its pretty easy to dismiss them with the knowledge that it happens to most people. The only time I would be overly concerned is when the fantasy becomes all consuming and is something we can't act out for whatever reason. It has never happened to me so I don't know how I would deal with it if it did.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 4:04:56 AM   
MsMillgrove


Posts: 260
Joined: 5/27/2008
Status: offline 		OK i'll take a guess here, now that you've told us the fantasy. Are you worried that if you replay this fantasy in your head too much, that you're more likely to fall in love with someone who will perhaps abuse you for real. In other words, play a scene like this with you with no aftercare? Leaving you to feel alone and worthless.

Do you fear that the repetition of the fantasy would lead you to chose someone like this, to fall in love with him and end up abused?

If so, I understand your concern. Sometimes I have fantasies on the other side of the kneel, that are very dark. They make me worry, would i lose control someday and do this thing? I read a book loosely based on a domme's real life where this happened, she did lose control and hurt a willing slave...more than she had initially intended. That story frightened me so much because it pushed that fear button--what if I did that? I found it incredibly erotic. I thought, does reading this and thinking about it over and over again, strengthen the possibility that it will happen?

Conclusion on this: unlikely. I seem to be in control fine--and the only unexpected thing that happens to me in terms of control.. is that when I use a certain tool, I start to laugh and dance around in the dungeon.. and the people watching find it strange behavior. (I think they wonder if there is some substance use involved..but there is none)

Everyone's different--but maybe by sharing my experience, you'll conclude that it's probably ok, that you aren't going to damage yourself as a result of repeated enjoyment of some fantasies.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 4:33:21 AM   
elleX


Posts: 161
Joined: 10/24/2009
Status: offline 		just to add my humble contribution, talking about my own experience,,
i had several of my fantasm done ,,, it was a positive experience in the most case,, i beleive it is related to the level of commitment  and investment of my Master and to the deep level of trust i have in him. . Some of my fantaisie  were about beating ,deep humiliation and so on..There is only one time i can say i did not like it at allot was been abused  from a person that i had repulsion feeling with
But again fantasm are fantams , and sometime should remain that way ,,,,  and about repeating them,,,, , and i  think that no one can do  without putting it in equilibre with caring and  tender episode ,well to me i dont think i could handle it on a regular basis and i am grateful that He know when its time to start....
elleX

(in reply to MsMillgrove)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: What's too far? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125