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RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 4:45:11 AM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline 		Some fantasies are meant to be just that - fantasies. If under it all, the person doesn't even respect me, I'd probably just leave that one in my head.

Someone once sent me a many chaptered story. I was horrified by it. It definitely violated ToS here and to repeat that I was horrified doesn't even come close to how horrible it was.

And it bothered me a great deal that I couldn't stop reading it and it bothered me even more than that, that I was weirdly and disgustingly turned on by what I was reading.

I thought there was something wrong with me - something desperately wrong.

That's when I remembered that fantasies come in all shapes and sizes and just because I was caught up in the story does not mean that a) it's something I want and b) it's an even half-way viable fantasy. And that's when I decided to delete all those chapters, because in my head, there are just some things that don't need to be explored, and I stopped worrying if there was something wrong with me. Instead, I sought out someone who would fulfil all those wonderful fantasies I have. I realized that the one I read about would never have gotten into my head in the first place if it hadn't been for the power of suggestion and with a suggestion, one DOES have the option to just say no.

So, I guess what I'm sayimg is that if you stop focusing on that fantasy, and begin focusing on all the other wonderful things you could be doing instead, you might just find you like lots of things other than that one fantasy.

And here's a thought....are you focusing on that one fantasy because you're trying to play out what this life might look like to you in your head before you live it? I ask because I did that when I was new as well.

Here is the conclusion I came up with.

This life is like jumping off the high diving board at the pool. You can think it'd be fun - and you'd probably be right. But to know, you have to get past your fears.

So, you climb the ladder and well, the pool looks very small from that height. You walk to the edge of the board and now you have two choices... you can jump and yes, you MIGHT get hurt. But look around... see the people who are there who can help you? You can also decide that you  don't want to find out what it feels like - even though it's a hot day and the water down there is so cool and refreshing. You can walk back down the ladder.

Then again, if you did that, you'd never know the rush it is to just trust in yourself enough to jump. You'd never hear the rush of the wind as you hurtle down to something you've wanted now for a while. You'd never hold your breath in fearful anticipation. And more importantly, you'd never feel the thrill of hitting the water, feel it rush over you and then, have you come to the surface, victorious over both your fears and the jump itself.

In the end, no one can be out there on that high dive with you. You have to either screw up your courage and take a chance, remembering that you DO know how to swim and that there ARE people around who can help you if you do get into trouble, or you have to just opt not to take the risk. Neither choice is wrong - it's what YOU want o do with YOU.

But I'd remind you that we rarely see what we are capable of - until we are placed in the position of doing what we didn't think we could.

And the joy of finding out is incomparable - at least to me.

BDSM is like that. Fantasy fulfillment is like that. Some things you choose to fulfill. Some things, you know better than to approach. Take your time, Be aware of how you're feeling. Remain true to yourself. Neither the choice to fulfill that fantasy or not fulfill it is wrong. All that matters is what's right for you.

juliet

(in reply to MsMillgrove)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 4:46:41 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I think most of us have fantasies about stuff we know we wouldn't really enjoy. After all, in fantasy pain is totally erotic, in reality it really does hurt. Those of us who have experimented slightly come to learn what is something we do want to act out, and what we know would be a bad scene if it happened. There are masochists who fantasize about starring in a snuff film and dying as they climax, they sure aren't going to act that out! But having the fantasy isn't unhealthy, it's just a much more extreme version of what you do enjoy.

The reason we fantasize about extreme stuff we don't really want is that this way it allows us to focus solely on those feelings. So you are interested in occasional objectification but your top is careful not to really burn you by grinding hot cigars out on your clitoris while you're tied to a table. In fantasy you can focus entirely on the feelings evoked without worrying about losing sexual function forever.

For me, a top who insisted that every fantasy should be acted upon is one I wouldn't agree to be with. Because I'm very clear about some of them being just for fantasy. I might fantasize about a gang bang by a football team, but I sure as hell don't want it to happen, disease transmission and all. One who insisted upon acting this out is one who isn't concerned with my health, physical and mental, but solely with his own sexuality.

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RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 6:44:58 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

*Grins* I feel like I'm the angel on your shoulder and NZ is the devil.




Tell me about it :) And I actually like your idea about finding a casual play partner to act stuff out with, but because of the specifics of the fantasy, I can't.

Ok, I give up. I'll just say it. None of you can actually see me, so it can't be that embarrassing, right? So one fantasy is to be completely head over heels in love with someone (a Dom, specifically) who doesn't love me back, and who uses that to manipulate me (in the meanest psychological ways) into an almost catatonic state where I can't think straight or even speak, and who then uses me to get himself off however he wants.

There, I said it. Now I'm going to go hide in a hole :)


I promise, you are not the only person that has that kind of fantasy. Don't be embarrassed.

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 7:52:56 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB


quote:

ORIGINAL: Elisabella

*Grins* I feel like I'm the angel on your shoulder and NZ is the devil.




Tell me about it :) And I actually like your idea about finding a casual play partner to act stuff out with, but because of the specifics of the fantasy, I can't.

Ok, I give up. I'll just say it. None of you can actually see me, so it can't be that embarrassing, right? So one fantasy is to be completely head over heels in love with someone (a Dom, specifically) who doesn't love me back, and who uses that to manipulate me (in the meanest psychological ways) into an almost catatonic state where I can't think straight or even speak, and who then uses me to get himself off however he wants.

There, I said it. Now I'm going to go hide in a hole :)


I actually disagree with finding a casual play partner to live out fantasies. Some are too dangerous to do unless you have a caring partner to help regulate the fantasy.

I lived out something I fantasized about with a long term partner and it was unbelievably great. However...due to circumstances beyond our control, I ended up in the hospital; it was a total accident and it was not immediate, something happened a few weeks later as a result of what we did.

So, of course while we wanted to do it again (yes, even I did), we could not. Some things are more dangerous than you think no matter how careful or in control you think you are.

As far as your fantasy, I don't think it is that unusual and actually should be relatively easy to find in real life.

Whether you are ready to delve into it psychologically, is the question, as you are obviously aware of.

I am sure you will find your answer. Good luck.

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 8:05:03 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline 		here are my thoughts on one aspect of the question

i put it in my journal

You got this brand new pornographic women toy, and she’s willing to make your most nasty erotic fantasy a reality, you know the one that has been developing in you head for ever so long,

now is your big chance to make it reality, you put in a lot of effort to arrange it and the big moment arrives and lo and behold the bitch does it to perfection, couldn’t have gone better.

Now it’s the next day and you’re having second thoughts about what happened and her, now neither seem so desirable anymore.

Now what?

Didn’t think of that did you?


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i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

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RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 8:16:00 AM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

hat's actually a really good way of putting what I'm trying to express. I don't think I could respect myself (or at least, respect myself in the same way) after going through with the types of things I'm fantasizing about, and I don't know if I could trust that my partner would respect me either. Doesn't stop me wanting it. So which is the right instinct to follow?



OK, so you're new to committing to following through on some of your fantasies and you're, understandably, nervous about the effect some of your more extreme (to you) fantasies seem.  You're probably mortified at the thought of talking about these with a partner, and somewhat queasy about the thought of acting on them. 

A LOT of what I've discovered about myself has become ok to me because my Dom doesn't judge me.  When starting out, I had fantasies that I knew I wanted to try, and I found that most acts feel different with different partners.  Kind of a 'duh' observation, but very true.  Kinda like fucking ... it feels ok with one person, but with the next it's a spiritual reawakening.  lol 

I had a feeling your fantasy revolved around humiliation.  That seems to be a deep trigger for people and it's scary to think of that trigger being flipped because you really lose control in that situation.  I think it needs to be with the right person, someone you have a close connection with.  The funny thing is, with what some would definitely consider humiliation play, between E and I it serves to draw us closer, it just feels like home and is a deeply positive thing for me, though I'd never be able to explain how.  

Build the relationship, and the rest will fall into place. 


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(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 8:54:01 AM   
Drifa


Posts: 547
Joined: 7/27/2007
From: Rural Texas
Status: offline 		What's in your head is just not always something that needs to be enacted. It's like rape fantasies - even people who have been raped and know it for the terrible act of aggression it is can have and enjoy rape fantasies. They don't want to be raped again, or in many cases they may not be comfortable playing a rape scene, but they can still have and enjoy the fantasy.

Sometimes you get a part of what's in your head via a mindfuck, where your partner introduces elements of your fantasy in a way that makes you believe it for a short while. An example is the scene in which the sub comes in, there's a brazier with coals glowing and a branding iron. Once the sub is securely restrained and blindfolded, the dominant tells them they're about to be branded, touches them with ice, and simultaneously drops a bit of ground beef onto the coals for the sizzle and smell.

Some fantasies you just have to keep in your head. I mean, if you think tentacle hentai is hot, where on earth are you going to find the multi-penis-tentacled alien beast?  Sometimes the truly impossible things can be explored and enjoyed via artistic outlets such as drawing or writing erotica.

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
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RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 10:14:03 AM   
mstrslve4fun


Posts: 60
Joined: 12/18/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

My fantasy is to marry a rich dom one day and never have to work another day in my life.

How do I deal with it?  I keep hoping and praying for one day....hey it could happen!



LOL

i have a fantasy that someday i can get decently spanked in my own home. But with 5 kids rolling in and out at all times, i doubt it will happen any time soon.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 11:06:22 AM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline 		Another one of those moral high road thread.

Fast Reply (Only head about half of the replies)

I have Fantasies that are so dark and nasty that sometimes having them make me sweat a little. They involve everything from Vore to Farm Animals however they are just fantasies. They are good for an erection and a string desire to fuck my wife.

The main thing is where I draw the line. I draw the line at something that would be impossible to match in real life.

Ever had a Fantasy that you got to live out?
I mean one of the BIG fantasies?
Then did you do it?
Did it all live up to the image you built up in your head?

I have met some people who could answer Yes to all 4 questions (I personally think they just have dull fantasies) however I have always been let down as the experience has never reached the expctations of the fantasy.

So whats going to far?

When living out your fantasy becomes like an addiction and you don't care about anyone you involve in your fantasy. See this is where I draw my line. I may be into some really kinky things but if I ever did them with my wife and then I was disgusted by what my wife did or I felt different about her afterward then I have been irresponsible.

The line is the one where you start involving other people in something that isn't for them what it is for you and then judging them for not fitting the fantasy bill.

QSM

_____________________________

Guy Stud =Vs= Girl Slut ~~ Debate ENDED!

"If a Key opens many locks, then it is a Master Key, If a Lock is opened by lots of keys, then it is a Shitty Lock"

(in reply to mstrslve4fun)
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RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 11:14:57 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMillgrove

OK i'll take a guess here, now that you've told us the fantasy. Are you worried that if you replay this fantasy in your head too much, that you're more likely to fall in love with someone who will perhaps abuse you for real. In other words, play a scene like this with you with no aftercare? Leaving you to feel alone and worthless.

Do you fear that the repetition of the fantasy would lead you to chose someone like this, to fall in love with him and end up abused?




Exactly, yes. The only Dom I've had had this thing where he insisted that I genuinely was designed to be a fucktoy and nothing else, and while I found that insanely hot, I found pretty quickly that I couldn't live with him actually thinking that I was inferior 24/7. Love wasn't an issue, but it worries me that while I was with him I was ALWAYS the most turned on I can ever imagine being, and then later when I was walking around being a very smart, funny, capable young woman, I felt awful about it. So I have in fact acted out a dim version of the fantasy I'm talking about, and I really want more and yet don't see how I could go there without being - as MsMillgrove mentioned - abused.

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RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 11:23:24 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB


quote:

ORIGINAL: MsMillgrove

OK i'll take a guess here, now that you've told us the fantasy. Are you worried that if you replay this fantasy in your head too much, that you're more likely to fall in love with someone who will perhaps abuse you for real. In other words, play a scene like this with you with no aftercare? Leaving you to feel alone and worthless.

Do you fear that the repetition of the fantasy would lead you to chose someone like this, to fall in love with him and end up abused?




Exactly, yes. The only Dom I've had had this thing where he insisted that I genuinely was designed to be a fucktoy and nothing else, and while I found that insanely hot, I found pretty quickly that I couldn't live with him actually thinking that I was inferior 24/7. Love wasn't an issue, but it worries me that while I was with him I was ALWAYS the most turned on I can ever imagine being, and then later when I was walking around being a very smart, funny, capable young woman, I felt awful about it. So I have in fact acted out a dim version of the fantasy I'm talking about, and I really want more and yet don't see how I could go there without being - as MsMillgrove mentioned - abused.


See to me, it sounds like you want both; to live out the fantasy and being the most turned on you can ever imagine being and then not feeling awful about it later.

If the first part worked out well, in that it proved to you just how turned on you were, then why not intellectually just tell yourself you are not really just a fucktoy and let yourself compartmentalize the fantasy vs. the reality of your life.

I mean when I am engaged in dirty, filthy, perverted acts I enjoy them and never worry that it will spill over into my life. I mean, I know I am a smart, capable, witty woman and that is not mutually exclusive with any fantasy driven behavior I do or not do. I don't feel abused when I do these things unless they were not consensual, right?

You need to be pretty secure in yourself to feel this way, so perhaps you need to be more accepting of how multifaceted we all can be.

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 11:25:18 AM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		By the way, thank you again for all the truly thoughtful replies from everyone. I wish I could respond to all of them, but as all I want to say is "good point, thank you," I have a feeling that could get obnoxious :) But I am grateful, and I feel very supported. People are very nice here :)

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
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RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 11:28:07 AM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		Consent does not always make it ok, it just makes it consentual. 

Harm done, whether one consents to it or not, is still harm.  I know that some people crave certain things, but not all things that they crave are ok for them to indulge in.  In my belief, it isn't always in the best interest of another, to give them what they desire simply because one gets off doing so - and the other is a willing victim.

There are places I crave to go, but all those desires take me to is a place I believe to be all I deserve. Which, I'm sure, makes no sense to anyone but me.  Regardless, I know what is wrong for me, and simply having a transient desire for it isn't enough incentive to indulge.

(in reply to NihilusZero)
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RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 12:07:14 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

I know that some people crave certain things, but not all things that they crave are ok for them to indulge in.  In my belief, it isn't always in the best interest of another, to give them what they desire simply because one gets off doing so - and the other is a willing victim.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
....Regardless, I know what is wrong for me, and simply having a transient desire for it isn't enough incentive to indulge.

Contradiction.

You are supporting a notion that suggests that people do not always choose things which are okay, whether they are consensual or not. It is a direct suggestion that they do not know what is right and wrong for themselves.

And yet you follow it up, in the very next paragraph, by saying that you, however, do magically know what is right and wrong in your case.

So, it's just everyone else that we should consider as being confused but not you because you "know what is wrong for me"?

There's a word for thinking that other people should not be permitted to do what makes them happy (if consensual) just because you think it harms them.

_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 12:16:27 PM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		Exactly. I used to fantasize about being used as inanimate objects, table,footstool, etc., also being "forced" to clean his cock after he used the bathroom every single time. I also worried endlessly that such things would be psychologically harmful once done, especially as often as I wished even though I dreaded them. Well....I was way wrong. Way way wrong. There are a few more that I will not get into, but so far, so good. Yes it's momentarily humilitating to varying degrees, but so what?

< Message edited by Aynne88 -- 1/10/2010 12:18:38 PM >

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 12:19:03 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

Exactly, yes. The only Dom I've had had this thing where he insisted that I genuinely was designed to be a fucktoy and nothing else, and while I found that insanely hot, I found pretty quickly that I couldn't live with him actually thinking that I was inferior 24/7.

Did he? And what do you mean by "inferior"? Thinking that my slave should be my 24/7 fucktoy certainly does not mean I view her as "inferior". Is it just the notion that being in that role must, by it's very nature, be something dirty and therefore 'bad'?

Are you more worried that you think he thinks of you as inferior (whether he does or not) or that you will think yourself inferior simply for engaging in the act?

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

Love wasn't an issue, but it worries me that while I was with him I was ALWAYS the most turned on I can ever imagine being, and then later when I was walking around being a very smart, funny, capable young woman, I felt awful about it.

This sounds to me like the civil war I see in many young women. One that is so wound in the concept of neo-womanhood needing to be strong and independent that if you discover you are happy with something submissive in you, you are immediately prone to criticize yourself for it because it doesn't seem "right" or "healthy". What will keep you being a smart, funny and capable young woman is the ability to enact the things that make you happy while freeing yourself of preset moral constrictions.

Granted, that's just one phase of this for you and your concern for whether a potential partner actually is treating you responsibly is another important factor to consider, but I think the above is what's lying underneath all of this for you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

So I have in fact acted out a dim version of the fantasy I'm talking about, and I really want more and yet don't see how I could go there without being - as MsMillgrove mentioned - abused.

As being part of this community will teach you, there is no abuse unless it is felt as such. The only thing to consider is whether you want to get over feeling like something is potentially abuse when you actually like it or whether you want to strengthen your conviction that it is abuse because you'd rather it not be part of your life.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

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RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 12:21:20 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline 		jujubee-

I don't know that it needs to be such a dichotomy as you are making it.

You seem to fear that if you grew to love the man, and he continued to treat you as the object, it would be damaging.

From what I have seen, even if a couple wanted that erotic fantasy to be their every waking moment, a la movies like "The Pet" it would be near impossible to accomplish. People by their nature want to love, and be loved; maintaining the Master/object fantasy is just too hard, its too difficult not to begin speaking as person to person, to have him display vulnerability and doubt and for you to show strengh and wisdom.

But our desires and appetites wax and wane- for a few days at a stretch the man might be affable and snuggly, then suddenly after dinner bend you over and take you without warning, or while watching TV turn to you and say with a smile, "go prepare yourself to be sodomized, and lay out the clover clamps where I can reach them".

Its like that- No man is in erotic Master mode 24/7, but we are who we are, 24/7; you might be treated like a rag doll fucktoy in the morning, then after his lust is satisfied, you can spend the rest of the day being his helpmate and partner.

Because for most dominant men, thats what we really want- to have a woman who can be both the slut slave and homemeaker, the object of our lust, and an intelligent financial partner.

(in reply to jujubeeMB)
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RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 12:25:08 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex

jujubee-

I don't know that it needs to be such a dichotomy as you are making it.

You seem to fear that if you grew to love the man, and he continued to treat you as the object, it would be damaging.

From what I have seen, even if a couple wanted that erotic fantasy to be their every waking moment, a la movies like "The Pet" it would be near impossible to accomplish. People by their nature want to love, and be loved; maintaining the Master/object fantasy is just too hard, its too difficult not to begin speaking as person to person, to have him display vulnerability and doubt and for you to show strengh and wisdom.

But our desires and appetites wax and wane- for a few days at a stretch the man might be affable and snuggly, then suddenly after dinner bend you over and take you without warning, or while watching TV turn to you and say with a smile, "go prepare yourself to be sodomized, and lay out the clover clamps where I can reach them".

Its like that- No man is in erotic Master mode 24/7, but we are who we are, 24/7; you might be treated like a rag doll fucktoy in the morning, then after his lust is satisfied, you can spend the rest of the day being his helpmate and partner.

Because for most dominant men, thats what we really want- to have a woman who can be both the slut slave and homemeaker, the object of our lust, and an intelligent financial partner.


Ahhhhhh....From your mouth to the Gods who Deliver Such Men to fabulous single submissive women.

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 12:35:29 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		NihilusZero, I have followed your posts for quite some time, and fnd your wisdom and insight valuable.  In this case, I simply disagree with your simple statement that merely consenting makes it ok. 

I suppose I did post something that was somewhat vague that did not translate my meaning clearly.  Although I still stand by my beliefs, and do not find them contradictory in the least.

I don't magically know what is wrong for me.  I know from experience.  Consenting to certain things, were wrong for me.  Consenting to the harm, only made it consentual abuse.

I believe in the free exercise of ones rights.  We have the right to make mistakes, and to be wrong.  But just because we consent to it, and indulge our desires, doesn't make everything magically ok.

I have the right to set limits on what I will indulge others in.  Just because something turns me on, if I don't believe it is right, or correct or worthy of the risks - I freely exercise my right to abstain.  I do not meander through existence believing that because someone gives me carte blanche, I am without responsibility for my actions.

WinD

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 1/10/2010 12:45:38 PM >

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RE: What's too far? - 1/10/2010 1:15:42 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

You are supporting a notion that suggests that people do not always choose things which are okay, whether they are consensual or not. It is a direct suggestion that they do not know what is right and wrong for themselves.



Quite frankly, a man who is searching for someone to cut off his dick with a knife, not simply fantasizing about it, yea, he is wrong. Even if he finds someone willing to fufill his "fantasy" safe to assume he is wrong.


The concept that "consent" makes everything ok is part of what makes "outside" society see BDSM as some really deviant bizarre freak show.

Promoting the idea that ALL things are "ok" as long as everyone consents to someone new to the lifestyle is irresponsible. There have been more than enough examples of things that while one might find the fantasy "hot," the reality of the fantasy would not be enjoyable. Not because of some need to suppress the thoughts based on a moral foundation, but simply because the reality is unrealistic. Do you honestly think that if someone fantasized about being killed at climax, they should act that out? Can you really justify that with the simple "consent" or say that it would be healthy to act out?

Often you will offer some thought provoking, insight comments. But when you jump on the "all things are ok as long as all parties consent" it is just ridiculous. ALL things are not ok. Some people like the fantasy, others want the reality. It isn't suppressing happiness to not want them. It isn't unhealthy to not want them.

Elisabeth explained the differences very well. DesFIP, damn woman those were some great examples. I struggled to come up with something that was sufficiently explicit, but still quite unrealistic to fufill in real life.

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 60
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