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RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 2:39:22 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23
You know, a lot of people will just see that and assume you're fat/ugly, hence no pic.

Those people are fools.  The woman off CM (and frikkin Match for that matter) I have dated with no pic were smoking hot.  I started prioritizing profiles without pics after the first time that happened to me.



I've had much the same experience-I have no complaints about the people I've met off here who had no pics!

In response to the OP, if a potential partner has no interests ticked, I generally want an explanation-if they reply with the reasons you give then I say 'fair do' and carry on the conversation with no reservations.

If they can't give me a reason then I tend to suspect that they are inexperienced/someone with no clear idea of what they actually want/not invested enough to bother ticking a few boxes/a scammer.


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(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 4:17:31 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		There's too much variation in what we all want to say that we're all compatible kinkwise. However you can use one or two sentences to sum it all up.

I'm into bondage, not s & m. When I was looking I stated that in a sentence of about that length. I also appreciated that men who wrote me would list in their profile that they were sadistic. It allowed me to know without going any further that we would not suit.

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RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 4:39:18 AM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Psychonaut23
You know, a lot of people will just see that and assume you're fat/ugly, hence no pic.

Those people are fools.  The woman off CM (and frikkin Match for that matter) I have dated with no pic were smoking hot.  I started prioritizing profiles without pics after the first time that happened to me.


Sssshhh... don't share that secret with him Red. That way you can keep all the smoking hot girls for yourself ;-)

- LA

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(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 7:02:27 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I happen to agree with RedMagic.  I'm not one of the folks seeking a primary relationship.  I already have a collared sub as well.  I'm here for the boards and I engage in meeting people for the kink, play, BDSM, and friendships with like minded people.  Since that's what I'm here for, kink compatibility is pretty high up on My list.  This is something I may see in a completely different way if I was here for a different purpose.

I would suggest that you might think about keeping the boxes checked in those areas where you have no interest in a kink or if something falls on your own hard limit list.  This will allow those who 'live for' certain activities know that you are not willing to engage in them.  If you've got a hard limit for scat, roman showers, or any other thing, it can be helpful to have those things listed.


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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 7:09:00 AM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline 		I think the more such information on a profile, the better. If you don't care about compatible kinks, it does no harm, and if you do care, it makes it easier to see if someone's kinks may be compatible with yours without wasting a lot of time on other preliminaries.

Unfortunately, a lot of people here consider a kink checklist on a sub's profile to be a "do me list". Because of this widespread irrational bias, I've removed the bdsm related interests from my checklist.

(in reply to LadyOddsworth)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 7:12:34 AM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline 		The way I look at the kink checklist is I've some checked though it does not reflect all that interests me. I will not check off all that I am into as I figure if a person is interested then what I have indicated gives a general idea and they can use a bit of effort to actually communicate if they want to now more.

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RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 7:17:52 AM   
Lucienne


Posts: 1175
Joined: 9/5/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth
Do you find this information instrumental in finding someone? If you view a profile with no BDSM checked info does it discourage you?


It does help, but it's not necessary. When I see a profile with no checked info I just assume that person prefers not to publish those details, no more or less. But then, my profile is a borderline incoherent mess with no picture (and it still works!), so I'm totally down with people using their profiles as they see fit.

(in reply to LadyOddsworth)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 7:19:23 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I just think it is highly annoying when someone writes and focuses on one of the checked activities and that is how they introduce themselves, like, Hi, I like spanking and you like spanking so let's chat.

(in reply to Lucienne)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 7:28:47 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have found that the more compatible people are, the more, flexible the kink is. If all you are looking for is a hot weekend then kink IS your compatibility.

If you are looking for something more, the dynamic will move the kink in the direction that works for both in general, and Me in particular...:)


Jeff

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(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 8:30:23 AM   
GYPSYMAMBO


Posts: 660
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline 		OP:
I do NOT have my interest boxes checked..this then avoids those who go to your pic then immediately to the checked off areas..only
I wish to haev a realtionship based on  MINDS first with kink as the icing on the cake..
Later in my profile I list personal andkink interests..which is also a way to see if they read my profile..
 
I feel that not having the boxes checked I may have more of a chance
of someone who does not want to base a relating on a being a toilet..or getting tampled..or getting pegged... getting their balls tied up only..
in other words...ME SERVING THIER KINK
 
GM

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(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 8:55:44 AM   
wisdomtogive


Posts: 636
Joined: 11/13/2009
Status: offline 		Hi OP
The checked boxes really aren't important to me, and if I was looking, they would be the least consider. I am more in how they write their profile and journals. If they post i would read those as well. If they seem to be all about kink and getting me or 'all submissives' to obey them, they would be marked off my list of possibilites. This girl doesn't have time for such nonsense.



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(in reply to GYPSYMAMBO)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 9:07:13 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		The only kink I have listed on my profile is cybering...listed under "hates".

I want to connect with the person first in what seems a very vanilla way then let the kink side flow naturally and organically.  This involves lots of talking and time spent in the company of each other.  I've found few lately willing to do this. 

The "meat" of my profile seems to always be changing.  It's very brief now but I'm sure I'll add more soon.



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(in reply to wisdomtogive)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 9:35:00 AM   
osf


Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth

I am torn. While I want to meet men who are compatible, I don't necessarily want to talk kink until I get to know them. So here we have those little profile boxes that allow us to list our likes and dislikes of specific BDSM activities. I just "unchecked" all of mine. I think just being on this site tells something about me.
 
Thoughts?
 
Do you find this information instrumental in finding someone? If you view a profile with no BDSM checked info does it discourage you?
 
Thanks


i'm way more interested in the why than the what, if i know the why i may be able to change it to the what i want

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i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

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(in reply to LadyOddsworth)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 9:47:55 AM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyOddsworth

I am torn. While I want to meet men who are compatible, I don't necessarily want to talk kink until I get to know them. So here we have those little profile boxes that allow us to list our likes and dislikes of specific BDSM activities. I just "unchecked" all of mine. I think just being on this site tells something about me.
 
Thoughts?
 
Do you find this information instrumental in finding someone? If you view a profile with no BDSM checked info does it discourage you?
 
Thanks


Howdy!!!

This whole profile thing is fine and dandy, but at the end of the day you are just one of a thousand dommes porpoising off the shore of CM. 

It's true that with your sonar and enhanced intelligence you might be able to round up all of your local submissives into a bait ball and circle till you find the appropriate sardine of your dreams.

I don't personally place shit in profiles and feel they have very little worth.  I have learned that a tight face shot shields the body and the distant blurred yetiesque shot simply hides everything. 

You can write anything that you want in your profile...."I am the King of Gashtopia"  It actually is true and I tend to rule Gashtopia with an iron inserted fist.

My advice to you is to participate in the forums.  You can really get a feel for an individual the more they place their ideas out for all to see.  Overtime, you can understand who is full of shit, who is insane, who is a twat and who gets you and whom you at some point might want to meet.

So, what you are really facing is in all actuality a small but curable quandary.

If you are actually seeking to be torn you should meet the working end of an angry Domidong.  You do enjoy a rousing round of anal, right?

Good luck you.

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(in reply to LadyOddsworth)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 12:42:07 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		Howdy!!!!

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(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 12:45:29 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		FR:

I can understand your motivation for doing so, but I think you're making things harder on yourself (and on your ability to meet people) by doing it.

Either way, it's not like you can't change things back at a whim.


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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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(in reply to Psychonaut23)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 12:55:51 PM   
CommanderBondage


Posts: 1
Joined: 1/7/2010
Status: offline 		I have reached the time in life where " I am who and what I am"
Therefore I check the boxes, and let everyone know what I like.

Then it's their choice isn't it ?

Not only that it saves time later !

The Commander

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 1:11:25 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		As you were, Commander.



AdmiralJeff

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(in reply to CommanderBondage)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 1:27:49 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		As an aside, I have this same picture on my profile. I am getting "hidden" on the otherside left and right!...LOL

No sense of humor....fuck em




Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Pros and Cons to BDSM Profile Boxes - 1/11/2010 2:07:22 PM   
hardbodysub


Posts: 1654
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The woman off CM (and frikkin Match for that matter) I have dated with no pic were smoking hot.

quote:

I've had much the same experience-I have no complaints about the people I've met off here who had no pics!


I've been seriously disappointed more often than not when someone didn't want to provide a picture. Like the time the domme who described herself as "petite" turned out to be 5'0" tall and 170 lbs. Unfortunately, pictures can lie, too, so there's no guarantee.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
Profile   Post #: 40
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