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gifts - 1/13/2010 6:45:53 AM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		As a general rule, gifts are supposed to come with no strings attached. Are there exceptions to this rule? If someone deliberately uses a gift they were given to non-consentually hurt the person who gave the gift to them, is it appropriate in that case to ask that the gift be returned? Why or why not?

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 6:47:10 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Huh?

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 6:49:06 AM   
alittlegirllost


Posts: 12
Joined: 11/17/2009
Status: offline 		covers that "huh" and raises it with a "duh"

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 6:50:19 AM   
PamperPrincess


Posts: 5
Joined: 11/20/2009
Status: offline 		Um... I'm a little confused what is going on here.
You cannot ask for a gift back, a gift is given without expecting anything in return. It's not a loan or some such thing.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 6:50:20 AM   
alittlegirllost


Posts: 12
Joined: 11/17/2009
Status: offline 		kicks in a "wtf" as well

(in reply to alittlegirllost)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:01:08 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Do you mean if someone bought me a green diamond necklace and a week later i flung it at him and poked out his eye  -- does he have a right to ask for it back.


Well, sure why not.   Doesn't mean they will get it back.

But if its a D/s or M/s relationship and a Man gives a woman something and then determines she doesn't deserve it or misuses it in his mind-- i can see him taking it back until such time she shows she can handle it appropriately in his eyes. 


_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to alittlegirllost)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:04:11 AM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Say for example a Dom/Domme gives a sub a computer and finds out the sub is using the computer to find people to cheat with. Does the Dom/Domme have the right to take the computer away from the cheating sub or does the fact that it was a gift mean the dom/domme has to allow the sub to take the computer with them when they kick them to the curb?

< Message edited by defiantbadgirl -- 1/13/2010 7:06:21 AM >

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to alittlegirllost)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:04:21 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: PamperPrincess

Um... I'm a little confused what is going on here.
You cannot ask for a gift back, a gift is given without expecting anything in return. It's not a loan or some such thing.



Except.........this is a forum on a website that supports the views of many people involved in power exchange relationships. For many of those people, what you are saying has nothing at all to do with the dynamic they share in their relationship. What you have expressed is a delightful, equal power, vanilla type mindset. Not all of us subscribe to that.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to PamperPrincess)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:05:35 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Say for example a Dom/Domme gives a sub a computer and finds out the sub is using the computer to find people to cheat with. Does the Dom/Domme have the right to take the computer away from the cheating sub or does the fact that it was a gift mean the dom/domme has to allow the sub to take the computer with them when they kick them the the curb?



In my world, yes, absolutely the dominant has that right.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:09:28 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Agreed...... along with a kick to the curb.

Buy your own fucking computer.


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:09:55 AM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Anybody in a relationship has that ability, and it would be a natural reaction I think.

HOWEVER, this is why I give no strings attached gifts...  Once it is yours, it is yours. 


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:10:54 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Say for example a Dom/Domme gives a sub a computer and finds out the sub is using the computer to find people to cheat with. Does the Dom/Domme have the right to take the computer away from the cheating sub or does the fact that it was a gift mean the dom/domme has to allow the sub to take the computer with them when they kick them the the curb?



In my world, yes, absolutely the dominant has that right.



But even you live in the real world, and if this truly were a gift, the sub could, if he or she chose to, take it to court and get the computer back.
Although if someone were using something I gave them to cheat on me with, I think I'd take that chance!

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:12:20 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Do you mean if someone bought me a green diamond necklace and a week later i flung it at him and poked out his eye -- does he have a right to ask for it back.





Not to derail but was distracted by the image of a green diamond necklace, how good it would go with my red hair and why I would ever fling it at someone and knock out their eye....it would have to be pretty bad to do so!

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:14:06 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx


quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Say for example a Dom/Domme gives a sub a computer and finds out the sub is using the computer to find people to cheat with. Does the Dom/Domme have the right to take the computer away from the cheating sub or does the fact that it was a gift mean the dom/domme has to allow the sub to take the computer with them when they kick them the the curb?



In my world, yes, absolutely the dominant has that right.



But even you live in the real world, and if this truly were a gift, the sub could, if he or she chose to, take it to court and get the computer back.
Although if someone were using something I gave them to cheat on me with, I think I'd take that chance!


I would like to see her attempt to take it when I was finished with it. Because as long as the fucker is in my house, it is mine..........I think a toss out the window onto the patio 20 feet below would solve the whole problem quite well.

I would gift her with the broom, dust pan and garbage bag she will use to pick it up and take along.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:17:13 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		"oh look, your computer fell while I was cleaning"



Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:20:19 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Exactamundo!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:28:35 AM   
defiantbadgirl


Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline 		Now what if the situation was reversed? What if a sub and a Dom/Domme were in a serious monogamous relationship, the sub was the gift giver, and the Dom/Domme first cheated, then dumped the sub after cheating, and was using the computer to look for replacements? Would the sub have the right to tell the Dom/Domme to get their own computer? Would that make a difference or is cheating equally bad in a monogamous relationship no matter if it's the Dom/Domme or sub that cheats?

_____________________________


Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.


Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:28:55 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		*lol* the fact remains she could still recover. (or he, whatever)

Although I think it would take balls for the dom or sub or whoever IS the one actually in question here to ask for the computer back.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:30:38 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

Now what if the situation was reversed? What if a sub and a Dom/Domme were in a serious monogamous relationship, the sub was the gift giver, and the Dom/Domme first cheated, then dumped the sub after cheating, and was using the computer to look for replacements? Would the sub have the right to tell the Dom/Domme to get their own computer? Would that make a difference or is cheating equally bad in a monogamous relationship no matter if it's the Dom/Domme or sub that cheats?


This is what happened, right?

It is equally bad.

Legally, it is his computer, but I doubt he'd fight ya too much for it.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to defiantbadgirl)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: gifts - 1/13/2010 7:33:40 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		The Dom/me is in control.

If he or she wants the computer, then that is that.


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 20
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