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RE: gifts - 1/14/2010 9:13:30 AM

lusciouslips19

Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: defiantbadgirl

As a general rule, gifts are supposed to come with no strings attached. Are there exceptions to this rule? If someone deliberately uses a gift they were given to non-consentually hurt the person who gave the gift to them, is it appropriate in that case to ask that the gift be returned? Why or why not?

We spent a couple of weeks studying the concept of reciprocity last year in one of my theory courses when looking at gift giving from around the world. Giving and receiving seems to have different meanings for different people, and our view that a true gift is given with no expectation of any return is not only ethnocentric, but not founded in reality. People give gifts usually to at least bring others closer to them as social insurance for when hard times come, and then those who they have given to will give back... it is an insurance policy if you will...

Yes! Gifts come attached with strings all the time.... The sexy lingerie you get from your partner probably isn't meant to only be worn when s/he's out of the house. The new Cuisinart is most likely meant to be used to prepare meals for the household. Gifts come with strings all the time, and strings are not always negative.

But this really isn't about the strings attached to the gift of the computer.

My last BF gave me a coat because he didnt like the one I wore and the same for a robe I was given.
So this is quite true. Especially when its practical.

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to DomMeinCT)

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RE: gifts - 1/14/2010 9:48:35 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

FR-

The problem with saying that in a D/s relationship, the power dynamic makes the "gift" different is where does it end? If one is "owned" and the owner is buying the clothes, takes over ownership of the vehicles, bank accounts, etc. and the relationship is of a longer nature (as opposed to the silly couple of months and all this "trust" is given), where does the return stop?

I agree that a kick to the curb on either side is valid. But if you have been providing the sub/slaves clothes for the last 5 years, do you keep them all? Because everything "belonged" to the dom, i.e. name on deed to the house, car, etc. (in both names in case of death and such), do you suddenly kick that person off with nothing but the clothes on their back? Sure the anger will make one want to say, "hell yes!" But in the end, what does that really say about the dom in question? Kind of sounds like an inability to control themselves when they get angry. Yes, in this example there has been a betrayal, but does that mean that mean the dom ignores all sense of dignity?

(in reply to lusciouslips19)

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Post #: 62