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RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:08:52 AM

LillyoftheVally

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Joined: 7/22/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
as i said kink isn't that important an issue to me, if she is right for me she will learn my kink

Ah sorry, I didn't realise that the thread was simply talking about what you see as important. I will add a disclaimer then, apart from osf the amount of experience someone has in activities can be significant, more that the dominant is experienced than the sub to be fair, I would not feel comfortable, for example, meeting someone who had never engaged in any bdsm activities and doing something like cutting or needles straight off, it would be a little too frightening for me.

As to the second part of your comment, I think that is interesting, the learn your kink thing, do you mean learn how to do it? I am not really sure what you mean

< Message edited by LillyoftheVally -- 1/14/2010 10:09:53 AM >

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 21

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:09:24 AM

osf

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

as a leader a dominant has to know what he is what he really wants and how to get it

this takes a level of personal growth a submissive doesn't need to decide if he is the one she wants to follow

*snip*

that's my opinion and im sticking to it

Realizing that one wants to follow in their relationship, who they trust to lead them, and how they want to be led requires a great deal of personal growth. I believe you are dismissing that which you don't personally relate to because it's not your side of the kneel.

again we're speaking of different styles, i use what i seek as an example only

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 22

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:09:31 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

the experience i speak of is his experience of himself, developing confidence etc

Confidence does not take experience... these two things can be mutually exclusive

_____________________________

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 23

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:10:04 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

as a slave do give that much weight?

i don't as she has no experience with me

By that token, the dominant with ten years experience has no experience with me and doesn't know my buttons and how to manage me.

On the whole though, I don't really care how long people have been around or how much experience they have or say they have. Someone can have tons of experience and still be a total twit that I wouldn't want to attach myself to.

the experience i speak of is his experience of himself, developing confidence etc

If it's developing confidence than it's simply no more important than the submissive's time developing her confidence to be able to say "Yes, I want to serve. I want to kneel. I will be proud of my collar and I will cherish his control over me".

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 24

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:11:39 AM

osf

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
as i said kink isn't that important an issue to me, if she is right for me she will learn my kink

Ah sorry, I didn't realise that the thread was simply talking about what you see as important. I will add a disclaimer then, apart from osf the amount of experience someone has in activities can be significant, more tat the dominant is experienced than the sub to be fair, I would not feel comfortable, for example, meeting someone who had never engaged in any bdsm activities and doing something like cutting or needles straight off, it would be a little too frightening for me.

As to the second part of your comment, I think that is interesting, the learn your kink thing, do you mean learn how to do it? I am not really sure what you mean

it wasn't meant that way but when i was asked what i meant i responded, nothing more

quit asking about me and it will get back to others

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 25

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:14:10 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quit asking about me and it will get back to others

The responders shared their opinions, they didn't ask about yours. You made the thread about you.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 26

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:15:43 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
Status: offline

Experience is irrelevant, regardless of whether male or female, dominant or slave.
It is how the individual spirit handles experience.

the.dark.

_____________________________

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(in reply to osf)

Post #: 27

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:15:50 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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now i'll stop making it about me

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 28

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:17:15 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quit asking about me and it will get back to others

The responders shared their opinions, they didn't ask about yours. You made the thread about you.

Yeah, I am a little confused about the whole thing now to be honest. Osf, you asked a general question on a public board, I wasn't talking about you when I made my initial post. The only question I have asked you is in relation to what you mean by the submissive learning your kinks.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Post #: 29

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:19:28 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

i want some one that will adopt mine as her own, it means nothing more than that

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 30

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:19:54 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Experience is irrelevant, regardless of whether male or female, dominant or slave.
It is how the individual spirit handles experience.

the.dark.

And it is stuff like this that makes me love the.darkness so much, honestly such a wonderful way with words. And a very good point, people can experience things and learn nothing at all from it, a good example is unhealthy relationship cycles that so many of us get into, often we don't actually see what it is that we need to learn.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 31

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:20:03 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

lets change growth to ability

Didn't you say this earlier?

quote:

the major difference between a sexual dominant as i like to label it and other men, are not the fantasies, all men have them, it's not even the creativity, to me it's the willingness to voice his desires and to persiver in getting her to fulfill them, and a biggie is feel good doing it and not feeling guilty after

If it is about "ability", aren't we talking ability with "kink"? If not, what sort of ability does one need to tell someone to do something or other? Isn't easy just to bark out orders? That does not seem to take a huge amount of ability.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 32

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:23:04 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
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quote:

If it is about "ability", aren't we talking ability with "kink"? If not, what sort of ability does one need to tell someone to do something or other? Isn't easy just to bark out orders? That does not seem to take a huge amount of ability.

forget the kink

and i don't even know how to begin explaining to you about the order barking thing

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 33

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:24:36 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

julia,

You may have been being fecetious or sincere with your question "Isn't easy just to bark out orders?" But, I will disagree to some extent. While yes, anyone can say "Do that now!", not everyone can be convincing of those words. Ever hear someone try to bark an order and it comes out sounding like a question instead? lol

So, it does take a bit of talent ;).

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Post #: 34

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:27:17 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

julia,

You may have been being fecetious or sincere with your question "Isn't easy just to bark out orders?" But, I will disagree to some extent. While yes, anyone can say "Do that now!", not everyone can be convincing of those words. Ever hear someone try to bark an order and it comes out sounding like a question instead? lol

So, it does take a bit of talent ;).

Well in line with how the thread is going, I think the point is that there wouldn't need to be convincing, because it is simple, a submissive just wants to obey, so a dominant just has to tell them what to do.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 35

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:28:52 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

julia,

You may have been being fecetious or sincere with your question "Isn't easy just to bark out orders?" But, I will disagree to some extent. While yes, anyone can say "Do that now!", not everyone can be convincing of those words. Ever hear someone try to bark an order and it comes out sounding like a question instead? lol

So, it does take a bit of talent ;).

well said

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 36

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:29:06 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

Posts: 1269
Joined: 4/8/2006
From: Portland Metro, Oregon
Status: offline

Lilly,

I totally agree with what you are saying, truly. That is why I only slightly disagreed and was mostly teasing.

edited because I mistyped your name.

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Post #: 37

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:29:59 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

Well in line with how the thread is going, I think the point is that there wouldn't need to be convincing, because it is simple, a submissive just wants to obey, so a dominant just has to tell them what to do

if only it was always that easy lol

quote:

Well in line with how the thread is going, I think the point is that there wouldn't need to be convincing, because it is simple, a submissive just wants to obey, so a dominant just has to tell them what to do

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)

Post #: 38

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:30:35 AM

LillyoftheVally

Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Domin8tingUrDrmz

I totally agree with what you are saying, truly. That is why I only slightly disagreed and was mostly teasing.

I know, I think however that it may need to be spelled out a bit for other readers

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to Domin8tingUrDrmz)

Post #: 39

RE: if a woman says she has X number of years experience - 1/14/2010 10:32:14 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

If it is about "ability", aren't we talking ability with "kink"? If not, what sort of ability does one need to tell someone to do something or other? Isn't easy just to bark out orders? That does not seem to take a huge amount of ability.

forget the kink

and i don't even know how to begin explaining to you about the order barking thing

Just like I do not know how to begin to explain the other side to you in a way that you will understand... my work here is done

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 40

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