quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Going back to the excellent point brought up previously- what does "anticipating needs and wants" have to do with being service oriented in submission? 
Simply anticipating and working and preparing for those needs and wants is usually just a function of working well together in a relationship and being aware of the needs of the relationship.   

quote:

All you speak of here -- what you do the little things are all based on familiarity of what you specifically know of your owners.  Your familiarity is what allows you to do the little things that please them because you have learned it over time.  They have taught you over time the little things that please them and as slave you react in doing these little things for them.  And they find it pleasing.

quote:

Most slaves i know learn their masters, over time they learn all the little things that please him, and do it.  So perhaps in your situation the expectations of having another slave "like you" right off the bat, is having an expectation of the product of mastery and enslavement, before the mastery and enslavement has actually occurred.

quote:

Pleasure is arbitrary, its personal and specific..... to look at a person who is unowned and deem their potential slavery by comparing them to a woman who has been owned and enslaved for 31 years, is like saying okay rookie, if you want to be part of this team you have to show me you equal baberuth.  Babe Ruth didn't start off as a star, he worked his way up to it.  He did not come in as a candybar, he came in as just a smidgeon of coco. (sorry to baseball fans, i couldn't figure out another analogy -- this is more of a point instead of actual knowledge of babe ruth). 

quote:

I see nothing in your writing where there is a willingness to teach. What I see is an expectation that every 'service oriented' submissive should be able to immediately provide the the type of service your dominants want.
I reiterate; every dominant uniquely defines service.  A cookie cutter submissive will only be able to serve a cookie cutter dominant; even then,only if the cookie cutters are of the same mold. 

quote:

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Going back to the excellent point brought up previously- what does "anticipating needs and wants" have to do with being service oriented in submission? 
Simply anticipating and working and preparing for those needs and wants is usually just a function of working well together in a relationship and being aware of the needs of the relationship.  

ORIGINAL  catize

quote:

Yes!  I would add that it takes an investment of time to function at that level!

Actually it is the nature of the slave/sub (this would be the service oriented type) to begin paying attention to these things immediately. Not saying they will know all right off the bat, but that if you have ever seen this type of slave/sub in action you would recognize them for what they were instantly. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappyActually it is the nature of the slave/sub (this would be the service oriented type) to begin paying attention to these things immediately. Not saying they will know all right off the bat, but that if you have ever seen this type of slave/sub in action you would recognize them for what they were instantly. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

ORINGINAL  IndigoDade

quote:

As for in the M/s contexted: Ive been having a hell of a time training my slave to do housework. I love him dearly and am having a wonderful time training him to do all the "fun bits", but really,  no one LIKES to do housework and I cant really expect him to do it because it will please me without some resistance. Its my job as his Mistress to break down that resistance

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time of it. This is part of what this thread is about. It appears as though he is willing to be trained to the parts that please him, but is not willing to simply please you in any fashion required.

I beg to differ though, i get a great deal of satisfaction from cleaning, cooking, seeing all the little things are done. I like taking care of the house, the yard, the bikes. Not as an attention getter,just because it is important to me. They provide more than enough attention for me as part of their love for me.Master and Mistress are mine as surely as i am theirs, i take care of what belongs to me.
From the posts i've read, the email received, so do many others.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: IndigoDadesi
True enough. I suppose my point was more that a sub will only continue doing a task such as housework for so long before s/he will need praise/reward for doing it. Basic psych. conditioning: If the reward is removed the conditioned response will expire.

I can *only* buy this if you count the continuing relationship as a "reward/praise".

quote:

ORIGINAL: TacomaCpl

You all have touched on many insights and angles of perception that this thread could easily be set as a "must read" by anyone new to the lifestyle that is feeling pulled toward the role of slave.  I can also see it as a "must read" for a Dominant who is considering bringing in a slave for the first time.

Now we just have to figure out how to save it locally so we don't lose it as the database of the website grows....

TacomaCpl

quote:

ORIGINAL: truesub4u

I guess what I'm trying to say is.. it's not about doing the things for him that makes me happy. It's him knowing I love to, even when i'm not.

quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

ORINGINAL catize

quote:

I see nothing in your writing where there is a willingness to teach. What I see is an expectation that every 'service oriented' submissive should be able to immediately provide the the type of service your dominants want.
I reiterate; every dominant uniquely defines service.  A cookie cutter submissive will only be able to serve a cookie cutter dominant; even then,only if the cookie cutters are of the same mold. 

. 
Beating a dead horse here, please refer to my previous replies to you. This was not about what my dominants (i am owned by a Dom/Domme pair) wants. It was not about what i want. It was specifically about the seeming lack of service oriented subs/slaves, especially in recent years.

It was also not about teaching, rather about a type of slave. However, in a post to thetammyjo i offered excellent reference material if you wish to learn

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
i must admit i sit here scratching my head sometimes when i hear slaves say "i don't so such n such because i don't like to." 

quote:


Perhaps it is simply that my training has been different.  Master loves knowing i am working hard for him, particularly when it is something i don't want to do.  That is when he is proudest and happiest of me.

quote:


And because of the consequences of that, i have learned the rewards of being all pleasing to him, in any capacity he wishes.  my slavery is not about what makes me happy.  i don't get to pick and choose (damn that!).  But the natural consequence of pleasing him results in my happiness. And he is generous to grant me that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Think of it this way- whatever they are or are not doing is because their master allows and is happy with it.  As long as the master is happy with it, they are serving well, yes?

quote:


For my relationships I am proudest when they do a good job.  Every mature adult who works towards long term goals in the world does things they don't directly enjoy in order to enjoy long term fulfillment- slaves are no different in that.

quote:


Very well said- it is about the slaves fulfillment.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Here i only agree up to a point.  There is no way in hell, in a vanilla world, i would do half of what i do for my Master.  What i do for him stretches my own mind out of the unthinkable.  Working toward long term life and career goals, while difficult, does not come close to difficulties of the types of mind expansion, principles expansion and horrendously extreme objectification i have undergone in slavery.  While i take nothing away from all humans who strive through difficult and hard work to become better people, speaking for myself - comparing what i have overcome "vanilla-wise" vs. what i have endured and overcome as a slave are comparing apples to oranges.

quote:


For me, it is about Master's pleasure. The result of which is slave's fulfillment.  So perhaps we can say it is about both.  Personally speaking, my fulfillment is automatic when i am pleasing him.  But my direct focus is not on my fulfillment but on his overall pleasure and contentment.  If he were not pleased, i would work harder - because i want goodness in his life.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
i was actually comparing my own difficulties to my own. "speaking for myself - comparing what i have overcome "vanilla-wise" vs. what i have endured and overcome as a slave are comparing apples to oranges."

quote:


And trust me, i look dreadful in a batsuit.