Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited by your own power only?

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Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited by ... - 1/25/2010 10:05:49 AM

smothrme

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I was wondering if it is possible for the sub himself, not the acts could ,arouse a Mistress?
please excuse the pink , i cant seem to change the color.

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:14:16 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

I was wondering if it is possible for the sub himself, not the acts could ,arouse a Mistress?
please excuse the pink , i cant seem to change the color.

I'm not sure if I get your question, but I would say that it is the "sub himself" that arrouses me and inspires me to do the acts with him.

- LA

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:18:45 AM

LadyPact

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I need clarification as well. Are you asking Me if I'm aroused by My submissive, even when we're not playing? Of course I am!

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:25:22 AM

smothrme

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thank you for responding. so then your power comes into play after the attraction to the sub?

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:29:49 AM

LadyChallene

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

(Part 1)I was wondering if it is possible for the sub himself, not the acts, could arouse a Mistress?

(Part 2) Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited by your own power only?

I had my answer all typed out and ready to go when I noticed that I was unsure if you were intending to ask two different questions ... or if I am having a dense day and missing what you were trying to ask.

Part 1 ... Yes. It is not only possible, but does quite frequently happen. Arousal is interest, attraction, passion ... chemistry at a basic and intimate level that is further amplified and enriched through ongoing shared acts, events, experiences, shared communication and mutual compatibility.

Part 2 ... No.

That's just my personal opinion.

Warm regards,

Lady Challene

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:30:01 AM

smothrme

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Lady Angelika,
without the power there would be no sexual attraction? please be patient , I am having trouble getting my thoughts across

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:30:42 AM

AAkasha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

thank you for responding. so then your power comes into play after the attraction to the sub?

For me personally, the attraction comes first, then the desire to dominate If I am with a man socially or in a public situation and I am not attracted to him on some level, there's no desire to see him submit to me.

The desire to dominate is wrapped up in a few emotions for me - one can be affection (deep friendship and/or love), and another can be lust. It's feasible that I am undeniably attracted to a man I have never met, for example (a few professional hockey players come to mind, ahem) and want to dominate him in the worst way. Or see a man from across a room, and feel the urge. But if I get to know him and there's no chemistry, my lust to dominate is like the lust for sex - the desire diminishes if he becomes a turn off to me.

Additionally, all cylinders can be firing, I can have lust/affection, you name it, but once we actually get into the act, I still may find his style of "bottoming" to be a turn off. At that point we need to make some adjustments or just chalk it up to no chemistry. Still, the same can apply to vanillas getting together, right? Lots of couples have had lustful chemistry, only to hop into bed and realize they are bad partners sexually. Sometimes it can be worked out, other times it can't.

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:30:42 AM

Lockit

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If there is no attraction, why would I play or be dominant to someone? Attraction is something that has to come before any dynamic, for me. However, seeing someone submissive or him seeing me as dominant can be part of the attraction if we like how they present as a submissive or dominant.

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:32:12 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

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My power, as a human, comes into play everyday. I am an assertive person and I do what I need to do in order to make myself happy. Some people bring that aspect out of me, some people repulse me, and some people leave me feeling indifferent. So, I need an attraction to a person before I dominate in a kink fashion. But, being a dominant person, in general, I tend to take the lead in many situations.

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:36:27 AM

smothrme

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thankyou, so the attraction is no differant than any other, except you control it? but are not most males turned off by Dominants

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:38:28 AM

smothrme

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thank you for responding Mistress. Do the majority of men submit?

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:40:17 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

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I can't speak for most males, but I can say, that most males I meet enjoy a strong woman, one who knows what she wants and isnt afraid to go after it. Even moreso if it pertains to anything sexual...lol. So, I may have a skewed opinion, but I don't encounter too many men on a personal basis who dislike dominant women. They may not be interested in kink, but that is a different story entirely.

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:41:47 AM

smothrme

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thank you for responding Mistress. I think what I should have asked was do you loose respect for a man who after time will do any thing you desire in and out of play?

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:46:58 AM

Lockit

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If I desire it... why would I get upset that he goes with my desires, whatever they may be? Will I get bored with a man who pleases me? No. Will I lose respect for him because he does? No... because he decides to please me and that isn't an easy or weak thing to do... it takes strength to act upon the will of another and to please someone, even when there are times one would rather not.

I think you may be thinking that it is an unmanly thing to want to please a partner. It isn't unmanly and can be a great strength and life choice.

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:47:52 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

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Only if he isn't willing to do things that obviously should be avoided. Such as murder just because I wished someone dead.

So long as he has his upper head planted in reality, then I adore a man who submits completely.

Edited for clarity...Is and Isn't make a HUGE difference...lol.

< Message edited by Domin8tingUrDrmz -- 1/25/2010 10:49:09 AM >

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:50:30 AM

smothrme

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thank you for responding Misstress. do you lose respect for him once he submits ?

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:51:24 AM

LadyChallene

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

thankyou, so the attraction is no differant than any other, except you control it? but are not most males turned off by Dominants

Attraction is attraction. Gender has little to do with My thought process. There has to be "something" there to catch My attention. Label it whatever you want, it still all comes down to chemistry between at least two individuals.

I think you might be very surprised by the actual number of men not only willing and wanting to be dominated, but in fact begging for it. When I run across a male that is not willing or wanting, and possessing the necessary traits to catch My attention, I wish him well ... For every 'kink' someone can think of, there will always be at least two people willing to try it out, kick the tires and explore it to the fullest.

Regards,

Lady Challene

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:52:13 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

Lady Angelika,
without the power there would be no sexual attraction? please be patient , I am having trouble getting my thoughts across

I've been patient ;-)

Now I don't think in my case I can seperate sexual attraction and power. Does that make sense to you?

- LA

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:52:59 AM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme
I was wondering if it is possible for the sub himself, not the acts could ,arouse a Mistress?

There needs to be interest in the man and him in me as a woman first then the acts follow.

quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme
but are not most males turned off by Dominants

Some yes, some no...I like the ones that aren't

quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme
do you loose respect for a man who after time will do any thing you desire in and out of play?

Isn't that one of the goals of a power exchange dynamic? If he feels nervous or shy about something, I would hope we were close enough and had built enough trust for him to tell me how he feels. Honest communication is important. As a switch, the same goes for me within a D/s dynamic. If I don't trust a person, submission (or bottoming, depending on the activity and relationship) rarely follows.

I lose respect for a man who submits to anyone...anything...anytime...anywhere...simply because they want to submit. That shows me he has little self-respect and makes me feel like just a number.

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RE: Do you get turned off by Male subs, getting excited... - 1/25/2010 10:54:27 AM

LadyAngelika

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quote:

ORIGINAL: smothrme

thank you for responding Misstress. do you lose respect for him once he submits ?

That might some people's role play, but I think for the majority of naturally dominant women looking for female-led relationships, when a man submits to us and does so in a committed way, we are elated and full of respect for this man and the gift he gives us.

- LA

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