RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (Full Version)

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osf -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 10:09:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Depends on what the reply is, no?...


actually the goose gets her share of replys



juliaoceania -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 10:23:09 AM)

quote:

but i dont feel the need to repeat everything in my profile


What is giving you the impression that women want you to do that? Are there a lot of subs/slave types that chastise you for not writing short length novels? I am just curious as to why you think that women expect this...

I have never expected that from someone.. in fact if they wrote too long of an email that might turn me off because I would think it was a canned email they sent out to everyone....



AquaticSub -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 10:27:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf
but i dont feel the need to repeat everything in my profile

with a few clicks they can see it


So don't repeat everything. Honestly, it's a few keystrokes and add some new stuff. To a certain extent, I do judge someone by how willing they are to commit 30 seconds or less to typing out:

Hey! Saw you are into cosplay - so am I. I've got a Batman outfit, maybe I could chase you around in your Ivy costume! ;-)

Even if they mention that they are cosplayers in their profile, that message makes a good impression and certainly much better than:

Hey! I read your profile. I like that you are into cosplay. Read my profile and tell me what you think.

quote:


and i must mention i do get reply s so it must work on some

If your approach is working, why start the thread then? Clearly you aren't having any issues at all and therefore don't need to change your approach so there is no need to ask.



osf -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 10:30:20 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

but i dont feel the need to repeat everything in my profile


What is giving you the impression that women want you to do that? Are there a lot of subs/slave types that chastise you for not writing short length novels? I am just curious as to why you think that women expect this...

I have never expected that from someone.. in fact if they wrote too long of an email that might turn me off because I would think it was a canned email they sent out to everyone....



i believe this , because they say what they expect in a letter

which i believe is counter productive

i never tell a new woman what to say and many ask what i want them to tell me and my answer is you're telling me, if i knew you wouldn't have to tell me, because i want to hear their words not the words they think i want to hear

it's the same way with email contact, let the other person choose their own words not words you say you want to see



Domin8tingUrDrmz -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 10:30:46 AM)

I've actually had submissive men copy their profile into an email to me. Ugh! Don't tell me something you've already wrote on your profile where I can see it. Tell me why you chose to contact me, and please don't let that reason be generic (ie: you're beautiful). Give me a reason to want to reply.

Osf,

If you actually view engaging a person's mind as submitting to their will, I think you misunderstand submission. However, if this method is working for you, why are you griping about it?



AquaticSub -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 10:33:34 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


which i believe is counter productive



I don't it's counter productive at all. Saves you some time cause you know not to e-mail them since you don't like that approach and saves them some time since they'll only be getting messages from those that do.

Sounds productive to me.



CarrieO -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 10:49:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i never tell a new woman what to say and many ask what i want them to tell me and my answer is you're telling me, if i knew you wouldn't have to tell me, because i want to hear their words not the words they think i want to hear

it's the same way with email contact, let the other person choose their own words not words you say you want to see


In many ways I agree with the bolded part above.  I do ask a man to be original and creative when he writes to me...that doesn't require a literary masterpiece.  It does require that they make an effort.  A couple witty lines...depending on what is said or commented on...can be creative, original and sometimes enough to gain my interest.

I think many times people truly don't know what to say and need a bit of leading.  This doesn't mean I want them to regurgitate their profiles to me...once I recieve an email, I go right to viewing their profile.  Seems silly that I would be sent either a copy or told to read it. 

I'm not sure what the problem is, if you're getting positive feedback with your chosen style then no problem.  If it just annoys you that some people choose to request that people make an effort when writing an email then just ignore them. 





NihilusZero -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:01:57 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In other words, since the information is already available, you're not willing to make more of an investment? 

When you write a profile or journal entry, you are talking to the masses in a certain extent.  None of it is particularly communicating with the person you are contacting.  They are forms of one way communication and not necessarily interaction.  Not to mention, profiles and journals, in general, are only a written form of what you think.  There's very little on how that applies to someone else, or how someone else meshes with those ideas.  It's more like handing someone a script and telling them they are reading for a particular part.


I see where you're coming from, but this seems kind of...silly. I get that people want to feel special and like they're being given special effort, but it seems to me that two people either are or aren't compatible regardless of whether he writes an entirely job-specific resume just for one person or refers to one that should already have all the pertinent data the other person might need.

Not saying that doing something specific just for a person won't boost your chances...it just seems like it boosts your chances simply on the fact that it's flattery.



lusciouslips19 -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:08:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

In other words, since the information is already available, you're not willing to make more of an investment?

When you write a profile or journal entry, you are talking to the masses in a certain extent. None of it is particularly communicating with the person you are contacting. They are forms of one way communication and not necessarily interaction. Not to mention, profiles and journals, in general, are only a written form of what you think. There's very little on how that applies to someone else, or how someone else meshes with those ideas. It's more like handing someone a script and telling them they are reading for a particular part.


I see where you're coming from, but this seems kind of...silly. I get that people want to feel special and like they're being given special effort, but it seems to me that two people either are or aren't compatible regardless of whether he writes an entirely job-specific resume just for one person or refers to one that should already have all the pertinent data the other person might need.

Not saying that doing something specific just for a person won't boost your chances...it just seems like it boosts your chances simply on the fact that it's flattery.



Its not flattery to receive a back and forth e-mail interchange where you believe you are learning about someone and they are taking an interest in learning about you.



NihilusZero -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:10:22 AM)

Another thought: I wouldn't, myself, go out of my way to actually say "Look at my profile". That should be implied by the fact that I've written to someone. I also don't really want to advertise and sell myself to a prospective buyer (folks in sales know you can get people to purchase stuff they don't want anyhow).

Why would they want me telling them why we're a good match instead of letting them look over my profile (which we all keep speaking of as a reflection of ourselves) and deciding if there is something that attracts them without upselling?

It seems to me like others are arguing to the equivalent of having a good pick-up line being more important (since it 'feels' personal and flattering) than having substance and compatibility. Or maybe this is just an example of why I'm not fond of the normal human dating machine at all.



NihilusZero -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:12:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Its not flattery to receive a back and forth e-mail interchange where you believe you are learning about someone and they are taking an interest in learning about you.

But that doesn't seem to be what people are saying. Obviously, if two people think they get along communication will follow. But those e-mails happen after there is an implied mutual interest already in place.

This topic seems to be addressing how to get to the point of that mutual interest (with more seeming to lean towards special flattery).



lusciouslips19 -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:13:01 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

Ah yes, the infamous "read my profile" email. Personally, I don't care if the profile is Pulitzer Prize winning good. If the email doesn't interest me, or say anything aside from "read my profile and get back to me", it gets binned. I'm more interested in how someone expresses himself in conversation than in his profile.

As an aside, osf, I do believe you've referenced your profile and journal on the boards about once a day since you've been here, telling people in threads to go read it instead of actually discussing whatever the point is. [8|]



Even if someone was a pulitzer winning author, I would still want him to tell me who who is. Having lots of words on a profile does not indicate you are sharing anything of yourself.



NihilusZero -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:14:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Having lots of words on a profile does not indicate you are sharing anything of yourself.

Wouldn't we know if that's actually the case if we read the profile?



NihilusZero -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:18:34 AM)

I'm really getting a bit confused. I mean...when I've written someone or when someone writes me, the first thing I do (or perhaps the second if I write a quick reply first) is look at their profile and see what I do and don't like about it. Doesn't everyone do that anyhow? Surely, we don't all play 'birthday surprise' games with ourselves and intentionally refrain from looking at the profile because we only want to learn of this person through individual messages...right?

So, what's the problem? The fact that the words "Look at my profile" are actually written rather than passively implied? Especially since we were going to do it anyway?



osf -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:21:41 AM)

in my email i like to point out comparisons between their profile and mine where they mesh
and suggest they read more but still it only takes a few words, not an epic tome



sexyred1 -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:24:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Its not flattery to receive a back and forth e-mail interchange where you believe you are learning about someone and they are taking an interest in learning about you.

But that doesn't seem to be what people are saying. Obviously, if two people think they get along communication will follow. But those e-mails happen after there is an implied mutual interest already in place.

This topic seems to be addressing how to get to the point of that mutual interest (with more seeming to lean towards special flattery).



You might think that simple flattering emails do the trick, but they do not. I get constant emails complimenting me as the only line in the email. I simply say thank you back. There is nothing to work with beyond the compliment.

If someone does not follow up a compliment on your photo with some words about your profile or some other reply that is designed to elicit a reply back, it ends there.

I don't need a literary thesis written to me, but I do like something interesting that I can grab onto to write back to.



WinsomeDefiance -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:28:53 AM)

I don't know OSF, I guess I'm answering from your whatever category but the best results I've had were when I wrote and said,

"Hi, you sound interesting.  Would you like to meet for a cup of coffee and talk?"
"Hi, I see you are new to the area and looking to make friends.  Would you like to come over and have a cup of coffee and chat?"

I know this doesn't sit well with your desire for a shut up, be seen and not heard, not looking for romance, type of relationship dyamic - but, hope it helps anyway.

WinD



NihilusZero -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:30:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

You might think that simple flattering emails do the trick, but they do not. I get constant emails complimenting me as the only line in the email. I simply say thank you back. There is nothing to work with beyond the compliment.

If someone does not follow up a compliment on your photo with some words about your profile or some other reply that is designed to elicit a reply back, it ends there.

I don't need a literary thesis written to me, but I do like something interesting that I can grab onto to write back to.

So, we want a specific (intellectual) type of flattery, then? Not saying that isn't the case and that everyone doesn't function on that level to some degree, but...again, we're just asking them to come up with a good pick-up line to earn the right to even be looked at, their actual substance be damned.

Perhaps this is just a variation of the infamous 'first impression' thing. Meh.



lusciouslips19 -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:30:24 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Its not flattery to receive a back and forth e-mail interchange where you believe you are learning about someone and they are taking an interest in learning about you.

But that doesn't seem to be what people are saying. Obviously, if two people think they get along communication will follow. But those e-mails happen after there is an implied mutual interest already in place.

This topic seems to be addressing how to get to the point of that mutual interest (with more seeming to lean towards special flattery).



Thats not what I gleened from the O.P. It sounded to me like they asked questions and his response is,"go read my journal".

But reading someone's journal pontificating on what is submission is NOT a sharing of who they are.



osf -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:31:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19

Its not flattery to receive a back and forth e-mail interchange where you believe you are learning about someone and they are taking an interest in learning about you.

But that doesn't seem to be what people are saying. Obviously, if two people think they get along communication will follow. But those e-mails happen after there is an implied mutual interest already in place.

This topic seems to be addressing how to get to the point of that mutual interest (with more seeming to lean towards special flattery).



You might think that simple flattering emails do the trick, but they do not. I get constant emails complimenting me as the only line in the email. I simply say thank you back. There is nothing to work with beyond the compliment.

If someone does not follow up a compliment on your photo with some words about your profile or some other reply that is designed to elicit a reply back, it ends there.

I don't need a literary thesis written to me, but I do like something interesting that I can grab onto to write back to.


or a pic of a gosling



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