RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal

RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (Full Version)

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osf -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:33:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance I don't know OSF, I guess I'm answering from your whatever category but the best results I've had were when I wrote and said, "Hi, you sound interesting. Would you like to meet for a cup of coffee and talk?" "Hi, I see you are new to the area and looking to make friends. Would you like to come over and have a cup of coffee and chat?" I know this doesn't sit well with your desire for a shut up, be seen and not heard, not looking for romance, type of relationship dyamic - but, hope it helps anyway. WinD but that kind of response works much better if you have a cunt, us cocks seem to have to be more inventive

lusciouslips19 -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:35:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 Its not flattery to receive a back and forth e-mail interchange where you believe you are learning about someone and they are taking an interest in learning about you. But that doesn't seem to be what people are saying. Obviously, if two people think they get along communication will follow. But those e-mails happen after there is an implied mutual interest already in place. This topic seems to be addressing how to get to the point of that mutual interest (with more seeming to lean towards special flattery). You might think that simple flattering emails do the trick, but they do not. I get constant emails complimenting me as the only line in the email. I simply say thank you back. There is nothing to work with beyond the compliment. If someone does not follow up a compliment on your photo with some words about your profile or some other reply that is designed to elicit a reply back, it ends there. I don't need a literary thesis written to me, but I do like something interesting that I can grab onto to write back to. Great point Red. If someone is writing one line statements and not asking me questions, there is really no where to go but......yawn.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:35:37 AM)
Ok this is a little more personal to Osf, once I wrote you a message regarding something I said to you on the boards, I won't go into the details but really all it needed as a reply was 'ok' instead I got 'read my journal' which to be honest made no sense, I have no clue why I would want to read your journal. Generally if I get a mail from someone and I like it then i will look at their profile, normally a scan read, I dont generally read journals often far too full of complaining. I dont need to be told to read a journal. Also with a journal as big as yours Osf how can anyone know what bit you actually want them to read? The surreal entries that mean nothing? The opinion you have of women that makes me want to get my feminist soapbox out? I can see what NZ is saying, people read as a matter of course which kinda means you don't need to ask them too, and generally how much the read/how often is indicative of how into you they are.

sexyred1 -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:36:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NihilusZero quote: ORIGINAL: sexyred1 You might think that simple flattering emails do the trick, but they do not. I get constant emails complimenting me as the only line in the email. I simply say thank you back. There is nothing to work with beyond the compliment. If someone does not follow up a compliment on your photo with some words about your profile or some other reply that is designed to elicit a reply back, it ends there. I don't need a literary thesis written to me, but I do like something interesting that I can grab onto to write back to. So, we want a specific (intellectual) type of flattery, then? Not saying that isn't the case and that everyone doesn't function on that level to some degree, but...again, we're just asking them to come up with a good pick-up line to earn the right to even be looked at, their actual substance be damned. Perhaps this is just a variation of the infamous 'first impression' thing. Meh. I think that this is one of the hazards and annoyances of online dating. The written word cannot possibly bring about the instant chemistry that you have when passing someone in the produce aisle of Whole Foods. (yeah, that happened and the dude was married, damn it). So I think that to try and figure out the correct alignment of letters and words is a bit futile since the online venue needs to develop chemistry rather than expect it instantly, ala face to face. Just for me, I check every single profile whenever anyone writes me, regardless of content, even if they just say hi. If I like the content, photo or anything about the profile, I will write back. I think a big issue here is not so much what people write to elicit a reply, but more that people are not patient about writing, or they rely only on photos and say no too quickly or make some other snap judgement that interferes with the getting to know you process.

NihilusZero -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:37:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 Thats not what I gleened from the O.P. It sounded to me like they asked questions and his response is,"go read my journal". That would be kind of annoying, then, yes. I mean, if I'd devoted a lot of time and thought to thoroughly describing my view on a topic, I probably would point them towards wherever it was located but I'd likely offer up a short version first just for the purposes of the conversation. quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 But reading someone's journal pontificating on what is submission is NOT a sharing of who they are. Everything someone writes is a reflection of who they are. It may not be a reflection of the things you're curious about, but... [8D]

juliaoceania -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:38:02 AM)
quote: i believe this , because they say what they expect in a letter which i believe is counter productive i never tell a new woman what to say and many ask what i want them to tell me and my answer is you're telling me, if i knew you wouldn't have to tell me, because i want to hear their words not the words they think i want to hear it's the same way with email contact, let the other person choose their own words not words you say you want to see What does a "letter" mean? Some letters are short, some are quite lengthy... You say "they"... I find it hard to believe that numerous people tell you they expected you to write a letter to them. Perhaps other women are substantially different than I am, who knows. If someone wrote me and I wasn't interested I certainly wouldn't bother writing them and telling them how they should have communicated with me. To be honest, some men can say in a couple of lines what others couldn't say in pages. Sometimes a person's charisma jumps off the page, and others either leave you cold, or worse, give you the eeby jeebies... I would say there would be no way to predict why some men click with women and some men don't. I am sure the same goes for women, some are appealing in their emails and profiles, and some are just not. Perhaps it goes entirely against the dominant grain to have to conform to meet expectations of women that you are emailing because they "should be" more slaverly or something, but just because you label something doesn't mean it changes the dynamic... men hunt women. The men that use the right bait get the women... not saying that it never works any different than that, but that is how it works from a common sense view of the world....so if you want to attract bees, you put out some honey...

osf -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:38:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally Ok this is a little more personal to Osf, once I wrote you a message regarding something I said to you on the boards, I won't go into the details but really all it needed as a reply was 'ok' instead I got 'read my journal' which to be honest made no sense, I have no clue why I would want to read your journal. Generally if I get a mail from someone and I like it then i will look at their profile, normally a scan read, I dont generally read journals often far too full of complaining. I dont need to be told to read a journal. Also with a journal as big as yours Osf how can anyone know what bit you actually want them to read? The surreal entries that mean nothing? The opinion you have o women that makes me want to get my feminist soapbox out? I can see what NZ is saying, people read as a matter of course which kinda means you don't need to ask them too, and generally how much the read/how often is indicative of how into you they are. you made a comment about what i was saying so i told you to read my journal for clarification

LillyoftheVally -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:39:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf you made a comment about what i was saying so i told you to read my journal for clarification No I didn't.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:40:53 AM)
quote: but that kind of response works much better if you have a cunt, us cocks seem to have to be more inventive Well yea, cause women are more complicated then men. Most men dont seem to realize that women think differently than men. Appeal to OUR minds. Not your own.

osf -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:41:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally quote: ORIGINAL: osf you made a comment about what i was saying so i told you to read my journal for clarification No I didn't. sorry i accidentally quoted the wrong post

LillyoftheVally -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:42:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 Appeal to OUR minds. Not your own. If you are after a relationship shouldn't you appeal to your own mind and hope that the other persons mind is attracted to the same thing?

juliaoceania -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:43:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 quote: but that kind of response works much better if you have a cunt, us cocks seem to have to be more inventive Well yea, cause women are more complicated then men. Most men dont seem torealize that women think differently than men. Appeal to OUR minds. Not your own. This really goes to the heart of it. It is as if calling something D/s or M/s will completely change the way the entire mating game works... it doesn't from what I have seen. Certainly the relationships themselves are somewhat different, but what women want in being courted doesn't change all that much because of a label...

ItsAProcess -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:44:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf for the other Dominants and whatever how do you feel when you open a female profile and they insist you write them a literary masterpiece? i mean i put everything in my profile and journal so i write a few lines of wit and suggest they see my profile is that so terrible or must i submit to their demands? Oh no. Some people want to have an actual conversation. How dare they ask that I show I'm capable of more than ranting in an attempt to prove that I'm someone they'd like to spend time with. How /dare/ they want to learn about me through something a bit more personal than a broad-spectrum journal. Wow. It's almost like people like knowing you care enough to be specific for them. Just imagine how annoying it would be, as a Dom, if every time you asked a sub a question she responded with a broad, general answer, not directed at you. lrn2english. kthnxbye.

DesFIP -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:47:38 AM)
You get requests for informative letters because your profile doesn't tell anything about you. It goes on and on about sexual/s&m stuff but not in sufficient detail for a person to know if you're compatible kinkwise. You start off by saying you're never going to be seen with her in a vanilla setting and end it saying the opposite. But you make it clear that you wouldn't bother coming to the hospital if her mother was dying. And that she should think twice about expecting you to visit her if she's the one that's sick. Since all you seem to want is a booty call. And that whole bit about wanting her to hate you but expecting her to stay there while hating your guts is just plain weird.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:47:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 Appeal to OUR minds. Not your own. If you are after a relationship shouldn't you appeal to your own mind and hope that the other persons mind is attracted to the same thing? Ah no. inless you think you can find a clone and what fun would that be?

osf -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:49:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: juliaoceania quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 quote: but that kind of response works much better if you have a cunt, us cocks seem to have to be more inventive Well yea, cause women are more complicated then men. Most men dont seem torealize that women think differently than men. Appeal to OUR minds. Not your own. This really goes to the heart of it. It is as if calling something D/s or M/s will completely change the way the entire mating game works... it doesn't from what I have seen. Certainly the relationships themselves are somewhat different, but what women want in being courted doesn't change all that much because of a label... not sure what you mean but my meaning is that some men quite a lot actually are willing to respond just because its a woman where as women ore more discriminating for the most part

LillyoftheVally -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:49:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 Ah no. inless you think you can find a clone and what fun would that be? No I wouldn't want a clone, but someone who wants to talk about/is interested in similar things, who thinks a similar way that I do, who is on the same wavelength. I wouldn't change the way I communicated, what I wanted to talk about simply because I thought someone was hot, I would talk about things that we had in common. But thats just me, of course this is initial contact, in relationships I put up with shit that they are interested in that I am not

WinsomeDefiance -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:50:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: osf quote: ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance I don't know OSF, I guess I'm answering from your whatever category but the best results I've had were when I wrote and said, "Hi, you sound interesting. Would you like to meet for a cup of coffee and talk?" "Hi, I see you are new to the area and looking to make friends. Would you like to come over and have a cup of coffee and chat?" I know this doesn't sit well with your desire for a shut up, be seen and not heard, not looking for romance, type of relationship dyamic - but, hope it helps anyway. WinD but that kind of response works much better if you have a cunt, us cocks seem to have to be more inventive You are probably right, not having a dick and not being a dick, I can't realy speak from that persuasion. I can tell you that if someone captures my attention and I show some interest in someone and ask a few questions about them - if I get a "read my journal" response from them, I'm going to translate that into a response saying they are not interested in communicating with me. Honestly, OSF, at this point you'd be better served in deleting your journal and stating in your profile: "I'm a cantankerous hard ass motherfucker who is looking for a piece of ass to beat. I expect a slave to be seen and not heard. My slave will not expect romance, walks on the beach or tenderness. She will be a fucktoy for my amusement, and caged whenever she isn't being made use of. Interested individuals may reply to me, as I don't have time or incentive to be bothered with courting you." The sad thing is, I'm not even being sarcastic or snarky here. WinD

sexyred1 -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:50:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 Appeal to OUR minds. Not your own. If you are after a relationship shouldn't you appeal to your own mind and hope that the other persons mind is attracted to the same thing? I am not sure what you mean. I think that as juliaoceania said before, when seeking a relationship, you need to be Interested. Why? Because if someone is interested in you, they will seek out info about you or you will volunteer it and do the same back. You cannot just hope the other person "gets" you as you get yourself, you need to consciously make an effort to be "gotten". Does that make sense? When Lushy said appeal to our mind instead of yours, she means women (and men) like someone who seems particularly enthralled with THEM not just anyone with a pulse who fits the right chromosome.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: I wrote everything in my profile and journal (1/28/2010 11:52:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally quote: ORIGINAL: lusciouslips19 Ah no. inless you think you can find a clone and what fun would that be? No I wouldn't want a clone, but someone who wants to talk about/is interested in similar things, who thinks a similar way that I do, who is on the same wavelength. I wouldn't change the way I communicated, what I wanted to talk about simply because I thought someone was hot, I would talk about things that we had in common. But thats just me Thats the point. You have to talk. This is a man appealing to the feminine mind. OSF doesnt think he should have to talk to women.

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