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RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 11:09:35 AM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I hesitate to put this one out there because it's just so WEIRD but...I got this one last week: "Hey there. Did you ever fart in the bath tub and smell the bubbles? Stinks like shit doesn't it?"

Then he sent another one that said "well, doesn't it?"

(some weird mf's here man...)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 11:09:53 AM   
CalifChick


Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline 		Any one or two-liner using the word "holes".

Cali


_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 11:13:04 AM   
CarrieO


Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline 		Recieved a lovely one last night... "I bet that icy chair would feel great on my balls"

"Do you like oral worship?"

"Are you looking for a foot slave?"

"You are a fat girl.  Do you have a big ass?"  (I list my weight...no issue for me)

"Hi"

_____________________________

"No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize"~Julia Child~


(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 12:01:51 PM   
jstkrs


Posts: 61
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline 		-Do you smoke
-Do you like to fuck
-Do you have any hot single girlfriends
The best one I got was "my balls, your mouth, made for each other"

Do they really expect a response or is it like virtual flashing for wank factor?
DELETE, BLOCK

(in reply to CarrieO)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 12:51:03 PM   
frazzle


Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline 		I love the do you smoke, it says i do in the profile they didnt read.

My usual reply... Cant say ive ever looked, but if your good i certainly get hot.

Ok im warped

(in reply to jstkrs)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 12:51:04 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I just got one that said,

"Take your Jew Ass to NYC".

I tried to write back to let him know Chicago was quite satisfactory but i wouldn't be caught dead with the simpletons of his town.
I was blocked before one response. COWARD!

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to jstkrs)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 12:52:47 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		You might want to mention that next time someone yells.."COMMUNITY!"...:0


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to lusciouslips19)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 1:22:27 PM   
LinnaeaBorealis


Posts: 8595
Joined: 10/5/2008
From: Insanity & beyond
Status: offline 		Just got one that read, "good afternoon".

My reply:  "yep"

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in
~~L. Cohen

Just one of the yahoo's

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 1:57:58 PM   
dreamofthemoon


Posts: 10666
Joined: 2/2/2007
Status: offline 		"I'd speak with you and train you."



_____________________________

dreamy

40 Fluffy points
Hibbie Chick!
Pure's jello shot!
Charter Member: Lance's Fag Hags!
A good egg, per DRH

(in reply to LinnaeaBorealis)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 2:11:00 PM   
frazzle


Posts: 1212
Joined: 6/20/2009
Status: offline 		Just tracked down one of the funniest ive had.

"hello master and i hope to be your slave girls very soon master"

(in reply to dreamofthemoon)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 2:25:18 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		I once got a
"and how is this girl today?  Does she want to be taken?  What is this girl's.... blah blah blah."

I wrote back... "Hey, you know that third person speak is for Gorean girls who are on punishment.  What'd you do that got you in trouble?"

They don't like that... *shrug*  I was just being helpful... and gossipy.

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to frazzle)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 3:45:49 PM   
HotFaerieMama


Posts: 2617
Joined: 6/14/2007
Status: offline 		this thread is funny..

a few i've gotten..

"dear mistress will you please tie my balls up?"

" hi" ( i think everyone gets that one)

and more than  a few that are 4 paragraphs long.. from some "Dom" telling me what i need/what. ( as if he really knows cuz.. he don't know me)


_____________________________

Wicked Wicked

dirty girl


(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 6:09:04 PM   
oceangem


Posts: 360
Joined: 2/9/2004
From: Mission, BC. Canada
Status: offline 		nice rack
nice ass


_____________________________

she gives a smile when the pain comes... the pain is gonna make everything alright.


(in reply to HotFaerieMama)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 6:27:21 PM   
intenze


Posts: 2176
Joined: 1/26/2009
Status: offline 		like diapers?

_____________________________

Namaste, bitches!

(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 7:18:55 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: oceangem

nice rack
nice ass



Nice Santa hat.


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to oceangem)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 8:56:09 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		Are you collared?  Please dominate me.


(huh? at least he was polite)


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 9:14:01 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline 		Hi Mistress
Hi
how r u
xyz@yahoo.
I want to love you
Do you have a hairy pussy
I know I'm not your type but....
Do you like diapers
Will you feed me


ETA: this latest cmail "wow nice body for 47"

Blushes, that cmail is too damn funny! Weird, but funny!

< Message edited by girlygurl -- 1/28/2010 9:15:42 PM >

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 9:26:12 PM   
MistressKitty123


Posts: 23
Joined: 8/23/2009
Status: offline 		I just got one begging to be my toilet slave.   I specify I'm not looking for a toilet slave.

(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/28/2010 9:32:45 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Longest opening sentence:

I SEND MAIL TOO ALL AM LOOKING FOR HERE IS TO FINE MR RIGHT THAT I WILL SERVE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE AM NOT HERE FOR GAMES PLAY AM HERE FOR LONG AND LASTING RELASHIONSHIP AND IF U RE REALLY INTRESTED U CAN REPLY ME BACK OK THANKS AND GODBLESS U SIR.

… and yes, there was more.


_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to MistressKitty123)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What not to say in an opening e-mail but you've rec... - 1/29/2010 12:40:27 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		*sigh* This just in....

"How would u like to be stripped bare and bent over a bar stool and have your hands handcuffed to the legs while you're helpless to stop me from using you for anything i can think of? Like to be controlled and have your lil ass smacked while you're helpless to do anything but take it? Feeling me bending your lithe little body over the stool pulling down your tight lil undies as i flip up the miniskirt you're wearing, letting the cool air hit your supple little buttcheeks. Pinning you by putting my strong hand on your back as I bend down blowing slightly on your puckered lil asshole watching you squirm as your lil slit moistens. "Thats a good lil dirty girl," i say, placing my tip of my tongue on your clit and slowly tracing it up between your legs navigating my way up your lil asscrack 'til I get to the small of your back, watching your eyes close with delight. Pulling my tongue from you smacking your ass hard watching it wobble and turn red as u jump a little, still squirming over the stool...clutching both your asscheeks in my hands, kneading them like dough before slapping them again watching as your pussy gets wetter and wetter with every punishing blow i put on your ass. Pulling your hair back, yanking back your head as i buckle a collar around your neck, fastening a little chain to it and then hooking it to the stool..."

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 40
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