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RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 1:19:07 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Although I have never read your journal I am sure it is a riveting read.

The problem with journals.

You get to express all of your secrets, all of the things you love,get to divine yourself in words.

Great. It's just one living and breathing profile.

If I was interested in someone would I rather read the book, see the movie or be able to measure that person up through my own eyes and experiences?

I will always choose the latter.


_____________________________



(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 1:22:56 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream



How is it unmanly to keep a journal if one wishes?



You wanna find where I said that? I'd be interested.

(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 1:24:18 PM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
I do keep a journal.  It is full of things I love, things that make me happy.  I also keep a scrapbook full of little poems I read, pix I've taken, ads for restaurants I want to visit, confetti from parties, all kinds of things.  Both are really joyous to read, and lots of people look through my scrapbook.  I keep private things in my journal, but I've gotten to a point where just about anyone can look at it.  I write sometimes about something I"ve read in a book and how that might apply to my life. 

A journal doesn't have to be a "woe is me" kind of thing or even a place to put struggles.  It can also be something like what I do.  I also have started another journal recently dedicated to a commitment I made for bettering myself in a way I've wanted to.  It is full of things I like and want to practice and assessing how I'm doing with that.  I love jounaling when it is full of joy. 

i agree, that a journal doesn't have to be a "woe is me" kind of thing.

Just many submissives, when asked to journal their "thoughts and feelings" regarding their submission, they tend to go towards the struggles. It's just human nature to do so.

A journal definitely can be about happiness. But then that goes against the purpose of the original question of the OP, which was more focused on does a Dom/Master want to read every emotion, thought, etc. - again, the purpose of more of a "thoughts and feelings" journal. So that's what i was speaking to. A journal that is written for yourself that everyone can read really isn't what was being referred to - she was specifically referring to a journal for her Dom/Master.

And speaking to the point made by EbonyWood, i don't know that i see it so much as going against micromanagment as just streamlining how i serve my Owner's pleasure. If my Owner wanted me to keep a journal, of course i would. i still wouldn't use it to record my struggles though, and it would be a much simpler thing. If there's something he needs to know that's going on with me, much better that i just be able to clearly and simply say that to him, vs. spending my time (and his!) trying to figure it out in my journal.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 1:28:01 PM   
HisSub1213


Posts: 219
Joined: 11/3/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven



Just many submissives, when asked to journal their "thoughts and feelings" regarding their submission, they tend to go towards the struggles. It's just human nature to do so.

A journal definitely can be about happiness. But then that goes against the purpose of the original question of the OP, which was more focused on does a Dom/Master want to read every emotion, thought, etc. - again, the purpose of more of a "thoughts and feelings" journal. So that's what i was speaking to. A journal that is written for yourself that everyone can read really isn't what was being referred to - she was specifically referring to a journal for her Dom/Master.


And this is where I'm currently finding myself. I read back through this stuff and think to myself that it IS full of woe is me. Which prompted me to ask (and I guess this is really what my questions ultimately boil down to) if this is really what a Master/Dom wants to see and is it really helpful.


_____________________________

HisSub1213

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. (Elbert Hubbard)

Fear is the mother of morality. (Friedrich Nietzsche)

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 1:29:09 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Doodles of.....?
 
Nevermind.


quote:

If I was interested in someone would I rather read the book, see the movie or be able to measure that person up through my own eyes and experiences?

I will always choose the latter.


Hello gentlemen,

It's true I do end up doodling in my journal - I've come up with some beautiful art work that way.  Gift giving is a breeze!  (and I'm sure you would be deeply disappointed by all the non-sexual stuff... sorry 'bout that *sniff*)

Domi, I agree with you.  I too would rather have a living breathing human being to get to know.  I tend to show the more "interesting" things in my journal - that is, they go in a blog.  I consider my blog something like an article in the Life section of the paper.  It's usually full of other people, interactions, what I see, etc. 

It's not always feasible to "talk" with someone. Sometimes we need to work things out in our own minds.  As an auditory person, a grammar geek even (*blush*) I find words help me do that.  And THEN I can bring it to another person.  Would it be interesting enough to read every entry?  Actually, probably.  I think so anyway... not because it's ME, but because of the writing style, the observations, the appreciation.

But I'll concede this point to you - my former journals... egads.... full of insecure drivel!  Then I decided to only write things that bring me joy.  Whole other ball of wax!

Have a good day.
sunshine


_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 1:29:29 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

BTW any men keeping a journal, go bowling or to a football game or something, will ya.


_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 1:34:59 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Although I have never read your journal I am sure it is a riveting read.

The problem with journals.

You get to express all of your secrets, all of the things you love,get to divine yourself in words.

Great. It's just one living and breathing profile.

If I was interested in someone would I rather read the book, see the movie or be able to measure that person up through my own eyes and experiences?

I will always choose the latter.



There are many ways to express oneself and they are not necessarily exclusive. Playing music, painting, being outdoors, cooking are some of the many ways. I dont think it needs to be one without the other. I would love to find someone interesting who is also capable of sharing their inner workings with me. I would like that. It does not need to be prettied up or so-called postiive, it would be best to simply be real. If a guy liked to write and let me read what he wrote I think it would be very cool enlightening. I want it all. I dont care if a person writes or not, it is more about being allowed into their inner circle.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 1:37:38 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream


quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

BTW any men keeping a journal, go bowling or to a football game or something, will ya.



Are you saying this states sport is only masculine? Sport is universal, that's the good thing about it.
 
Millions of women and girls play and watch sports so...clearly it's not a indicator of manliness.
 
So, still wondering how you arrived at your statement.
 
 

(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 1:40:48 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream


quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

BTW any men keeping a journal, go bowling or to a football game or something, will ya.



Are you saying this states sport is only masculine? Sport is universal, that's the good thing about it.
 
Millions of women and girls play and watch sports so...clearly it's not a indicator of manliness.
 
So, still wondering how you arrived at your statement.
 
 


Um, not the sport end of it, does this not come across as a slam against male writers? Am I misunderstanding you?

Are you not saying, "If you are a man and want to write, do not. Go outside and do sports instead of writing. If you are a man do not write, uh-oh. Not good. Not you would be better off to go play sports." Sounds like this to me. This is how I arrived here.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 1:42:16 PM   
SaharahEve


Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline 		I implement journals with every slave or aspiring slave. To me it's an excellent tool of communication, when used in conjunction with the real-world training and interactions. What do I look for? The internal voice; the thoughts put to words that can be more expressive and accurate than the faster pace verbal communication sometimes requires of the brain. You can miss a lot of meaning behind the paltry words spoken at that speed. As for reading word for word, yes, I do, though I give my slaves guidelines in writing. I do not like long and flowery prose on a daily basis. Often two or three lines say it best. Detailed entries are welcome so long as they have relevance. Emotional states, exercise regimens, spending habits, general thoughts for the day, reflections of a past event—the list goes on. It can be as macro or micromanaged as the Mistress desires. It should not, however, be a substitute for real life.

< Message edited by SaharahEve -- 1/29/2010 1:43:07 PM >

_____________________________

Saharah


S a h a r a h E v e . c o m

nanshakh.com



(in reply to HisSub1213)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 1:43:28 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream


Am I misunderstanding you?



Yes.

(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 1:52:09 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaharahEve

I implement journals with every slave or aspiring slave. To me it's an excellent tool of communication, when used in conjunction with the real-world training and interactions. What do I look for? The internal voice; the thoughts put to words that can be more expressive and accurate than the faster pace verbal communication sometimes requires of the brain. You can miss a lot of meaning behind the paltry words spoken at that speed. As for reading word for word, yes, I do, though I give my slaves guidelines in writing. I do not like long and flowery prose on a daily basis. Often two or three lines say it best. Detailed entries are welcome so long as they have relevance. Emotional states, exercise regimens, spending habits, general thoughts for the day, reflections of a past event—the list goes on. It can be as macro or micromanaged as the Mistress desires. It should not, however, be a substitute for real life.


Yawn.

Here is the problem.  The real world doesn't move at a snails pace.  How you react in the "real world" defines how you are actually going to be perceived....The real world demands a  (paraphrasing) "faster paced verbal communication  required of the brain."

"You can miss a lot of meaning behind the paltry words spoken at that speed."

But what they are is authentic.  They are not mulled over.  They are not choreographed. 

Journals are bullshit. Doms that demand them are kind of the same.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 1/29/2010 1:58:26 PM >

_____________________________



(in reply to SaharahEve)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 2:11:10 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Re Lady P's question about the search engine here. It has never worked for me. So I'm not surprised if other people can't get it to work.

About a journal. He suggested one in the beginning but it seemed too much like masturbation, writing to myself.

So I didn't. Since what I need is not so much self reflection while alone and navel gazing but response I wrote emails to him instead. But unless he gave me a specific assignment to write about, I chose what I needed to talk about and get his views on. I didn't tailor them to him, to make him feel warm and fuzzy or all manly and domly or anything. Except for the porn type stuff, that was specific to get him turned on.

But as for the rest, if I felt full of woe is me, that's what he got. If righteous indignation, he got that. If happy and joyful and dancing through the meadow tossing glitter, he got that. What he wanted was whatever I felt. My authentic self. So he could get to know me.

Have you asked your D type what he expects from this assignment? Does he mind reading woe is me posts or does he hope for porn? Before you make the decision to change what you're writing about, I suggest asking him for clarification.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 2:11:25 PM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSub1213

For those who require a daily/weekly journal:

I would like to know what is it that a Master/Dom looks for in slave/sub's journal?

 
This will vary from person to person, of course, but what I look for is an overall impression of how a sub or slave processes her/his feelings, how she makes connections between information sets, and how she expresses herself.  I also gain detailed information about day-to-day issues she may be struggling with and what, if any, action I might be able to take to assist her.  In short, a journal is one of many tools I use to learn how a sub thinks.  Since my approach to WIITWD is heavily involved in the psychological aspects of it, this information is priceless.

quote:

Do you really read them word for word?


Absolutely.  Usually more than once.  I also keep a file for each sub, which I use as reference material when I'm planning a scene.  If the journal is in a word processing document, I keep each entry there.  If the journal is on a blogging site, such as LiveJournal or WordPress, I take notes on each entry in my file and include a link to the particular entry.  I would also allow a recorded journal, either voice or video, if that was more comfortable for my sub.  Although I prefer text because I enjoy the written word, the medium isn't that important.

quote:

Do you want to know every detail of the day or just a synopsis?


It depends on whether or not something happened that day that was particularly significant.  If it was just a routine day, a synopsis is fine.  If there was an upsetting incident or one that made my sub feel especially happy, then I want details.

quote:

Every emotion or thought?


Definitely.  I'm much more interested in these things than in the physical activities unless a physical activity was out of the ordinary in some way. 

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl
"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to HisSub1213)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 2:54:07 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream


quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

BTW any men keeping a journal, go bowling or to a football game or something, will ya.



Are you saying this states sport is only masculine? Sport is universal, that's the good thing about it.
 
Millions of women and girls play and watch sports so...clearly it's not a indicator of manliness.
 
So, still wondering how you arrived at your statement.
 
 

By the same accord, certain tasks might be universal for submissives, gender aside.  This may be why your suggestion to males to 'go watch a game' or something is biased.  Did you tell the OP to watch sports instead of keeping a journal?  No.  You directed it to males.

Oh, and I'll let you sing Beatles songs to Me some other time, rather than the middle of a discussion.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 3:05:50 PM   
SaharahEve


Posts: 231
Joined: 6/25/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

Yawn.

Here is the problem.  The real world doesn't move at a snails pace.  How you react in the "real world" defines how you are actually going to be perceived....The real world demands a  (paraphrasing) "faster paced verbal communication  required of the brain."

"You can miss a lot of meaning behind the paltry words spoken at that speed."

But what they are is authentic.  They are not mulled over.  They are not choreographed. 

Journals are bullshit.

Perhaps you missed the part of my post where I said journals are not a substitute for real life, or real-life interactions? Maybe you should stop
yawning and start reading a little more in-depth there, domiguy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy
"But what they are (spoken words) is authentic. They are not mulled over. They are not choreographed."


There is a grain of truth to that, of course. It's worth noting what comes out of someone's mouth naturally, but I have found in life that it's equally
wise to balance those observations. Spoken words, though natural and not choreographed as you say, sometimes don't hit the mark quite right, either. Sometimes a word is poorly chosen, or events manage to cut an exchange short. Sometimes sitting back and mulling things over is exactly what's needed. For this reason, I find journals useful, and not bullshit at all.

_____________________________

Saharah


S a h a r a h E v e . c o m

nanshakh.com



(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 3:22:11 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline
quote:

If happy and joyful and dancing through the meadow tossing glitter, he got that


*Contemplates Celeste dancing through a meadow tossing glitter...




_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to SaharahEve)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 5:28:28 PM   
AnimusRex


Posts: 2165
Joined: 5/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood
[Contrary to popular belief, not all Doms want to spend all day wrestling with the psychology of it all, acknowledging the struggle, turning the whole thing into a mental exercise about strength, power, trust blah blah blah.


Amen.

When I come home at the end of a long day at work, I don't want a long description of submissive psychodrama; I want my dinner made, the house clean, a sweet girl to keep me company, and someone to share my bed.

I don't know who it is that keeps telling women that men really get off on long soulful discussions about how we are feeling, or what this relationship means.

But whoever it is, knock it off already.

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 7:43:41 PM   
mc1234


Posts: 683
Joined: 10/4/2008
Status: offline 		oh my goodness ... that's probably the funniest and truest thing I've read in ages.  

_____________________________

** Owned by E **

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 8:05:22 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		fast reply

I write a little all over the place. I write a little here, a little there, and then I write a lot in my profession.

I write on my journal... I do not write for a dom. The dominants I have been involved with gave me writing assignments, but not journals. My assignments were to tap into a professor/student dynamic because I am academic. Both dominants I have been involved with had me write book reviews, movie reviews, etc. Something along the lines of "what did you learn over summer vacation". Being involved with me would be tedious for many men...lol... but the dominants that I have been involved with rather enjoyed playing with my gray matter and realized that I have this deep need to impress those in authority over me when it comes to writing... so they put themselves in this position.. the position of the hot professor that I try to dazzle with my brilliance... hey, my kink isn't your kink, but my kink is still okay


_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to mc1234)
Profile   Post #: 40
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