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RE: Journals - 1/29/2010 8:23:07 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I don't keep a journal with Master. Instead we just talk every single day and it's always open and honest communication. I have nothing to hide from him so if I have something I need to say I just say it.

I used to keep a journal with the ex Dom but he would get angry over everything that I would write saying it wasn't slavelike or I was being disrespectful or it wasn't what he wanted to read or would critique it to the point where I no longer have any motivation or desire to write much of anything these days other than here or a few other forums.


(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 1:44:04 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

Just many submissives, when asked to journal their "thoughts and feelings" regarding their submission, they tend to go towards the struggles. It's just human nature to do so.

True. It was interesting reading over your rather adorable first post since you seem to come at it from an angle that works best free from whatever negative shackles the journal-writing or revisiting process has for you.

Experiences I've had were with people who worked better being able to put their jumbled thoughts into text in order to more easily assess what they're feeling and how, in a position of a bit more detachment, they feel they're able to address it. The idea should be one of creating a certain semblance of detachment and, from that, for it to breed the opportunity for mini self-epiphanies.

And some people just are more comfortable expressing themselves in that medium.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to UniqueRaven)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 1:47:22 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

If I was interested in someone would I rather read the book, see the movie or be able to measure that person up through my own eyes and experiences?

False dilemma.

I prefer to make use of as many different means of getting to know someone as I can.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 1:51:10 AM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: domiguy

But what they are is authentic.  They are not mulled over.  They are not choreographed. 

That's incredible. I didn't realize human reflective thought had suddenly disappeared save for the written medium and that no one, now, is able to think about the words they say prior to them emerging from their mouths.

Or are we supposed to keep stopwatches on these folks?

I may need to buy a new watch...


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 2:43:27 AM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline
quote:

domiguy
Here is the problem. The real world doesn't move at a snails pace.
Um yes it does. Look how long some things take to change if ever. One tiny miniscule step per forever. More often than not there is plenty of snails pacing.

quote:

How you react in the "real world" defines how you are actually going to be perceived....


Depends on who is doing the percieving, dontcha think? The real world includes anything and everything that is in this world including someone writing. Someone with a locked position is going to judge someone doing something they feel is unacceptable, while another might think it defines the person in yet another way. This is not a television commercial where everyone has the same script and we are all selling and promoting the same thing. One person's idea of how best to be viewed in the so-called real world is not always another's.

quote:

The real world demands a (paraphrasing) "faster paced verbal communication required of the brain."

"You can miss a lot of meaning behind the paltry words spoken at that speed."


The real world demands? I dont know where you got this from but the creative process, (including drawing, music, dance, writing, even conversation) can and often occurs quicker than the brain much of the time. If you have ever been creative you will know this is true. The output, the vibrations, the expressive feelings are sometimes coming from deeper with in the person. It is more like thier sub-conscious, their guts, their bodies, and their hearts are acting faster than the mind. The brain can get in the way no matter where you are who you are with. Writing not writing. Face to face or not

quote:

But what they are is authentic. They are not mulled over. They are not choreographed.


These are not things exclusive to writing. Authentic writing have you never read any?

If someone is uttering paltry words it could be anywhere, to anyone, even inside one's own head. Writing the words down or not is not the deciding factor in paltriness.

No need for mulling over sometimes the words coming flying out and the action of writing is also developing the thoughts to the external world, to consciousness. No need to choreograph although again, that art can happen in the spur of the moment face to face with someone.

Sometimes the faster paced face to face stuff can actually shut a person down more than open thm up, so no real speed going on there. Maybe anxiety which can feel like speed, a desire to be far away, like dreaming of trying to run but being glued to the spot

quote:

Journals are bullshit. Doms that demand them are kind of the same.


Journals are bullshit. Mmhmm, whatever. You dont like journals, oh well.



quote:

Doms that demand them are the same.


Yeah sure, lotsa bullcrap. I dont go in for labels but this is a numb and tiring statement not worth much other than stating how exhausting this line of thought is. No wonder you came into it yawning in this comatoseness.


_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 2:52:01 AM   
aldompdx


Posts: 538
Joined: 10/24/2004
Status: offline 		One purpose for journaling is reflection upon one's self truth. Before learning full open honesty with another, one must become honest with themself.

(in reply to HisSub1213)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 3:54:17 AM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

By the same accord, certain tasks might be universal for submissives, gender aside.  This may be why your suggestion to males to 'go watch a game' or something is biased.  Did you tell the OP to watch sports instead of keeping a journal?  No.  You directed it to males.

Oh, and I'll let you sing Beatles songs to Me some other time, rather than the middle of a discussion.



It was directed at submissive males because they are notoriously poor writers and inferior in every way, right? Otherwise what's with all the threads from women bitching about trollish mail and caveman level communication.
 
And LP, I was over this discussion YESTERDAY.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 6:08:39 AM   
UniqueRaven


Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: aldompdx

One purpose for journaling is reflection upon one's self truth. Before learning full open honesty with another, one must become honest with themself.


i do this with meditation.

Much less struggling, and has the side benefit of making the physical act of submission simple as well. Being present, and all that.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to aldompdx)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 7:09:12 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I would like to know what is it that a Master/Dom looks for in slave/sub's journal?

Do you really read them word for word?

Do you want to know every detail of the day or just a synopsis?

Every emotion or thought?

I'm curious also what it is that you get out of reading said journal, as in some kind of insight, or whatever and how does that help in dealing with said slave/sub? [/size]



There is no magic bullet with journal writing. Journal writing is not for everyone. It's just a tool and no one tool is prefect for every situation.

Secondly... if you going to write in a journal for me... say what you want to say and not what you think I want to hear. So... what I want to read or look forward to is any irrelevant question for you to ask. In fact... you attempting to understand what I want to read is going to taint the journal writing and the end result is not going to give me what I want. Honest expression of your thoughts and feelings about ANYTHING that you want to express.

I will read it... some things I might ask about and some things I will not. I try not to make an assumption that what is shared has some hidden meaning. It is what it is! nothing more and nothing less.



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to HisSub1213)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 9:46:07 AM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline
quote:



ORIGINAL: heartcream


Am I misunderstanding you?


quote:

Yes.


quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood


It was directed at submissive males because they are notoriously poor writers and inferior in every way, right? Otherwise what's with all the threads from women bitching about trollish mail and caveman level communication.


Here I am waiting for an explantation. I wonder why I didnt get one.

If someone said they liked some other activity and you said "BTW any men (insert activity), go bowling or to a football game or something, will ya."

Not sure what it means other than you think it is not something a man ought to do.

Not many sub men contact me and believe me based on my mail sub men have no market on being severely trolllish and displaying troglodyte communication levels. For that matter they also have no market on being poor writers and inferior in every way.

It's a thousand pages, give or take a few,
I'll be writing more in a week or two.
I can make it longer if you like the style,
I can change it round and I want to be a paperback writer,
Paperback writer.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 10:14:37 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

By the same accord, certain tasks might be universal for submissives, gender aside.  This may be why your suggestion to males to 'go watch a game' or something is biased.  Did you tell the OP to watch sports instead of keeping a journal?  No.  You directed it to males.

Oh, and I'll let you sing Beatles songs to Me some other time, rather than the middle of a discussion.



It was directed at submissive males because they are notoriously poor writers and inferior in every way, right? Otherwise what's with all the threads from women bitching about trollish mail and caveman level communication.
 
And LP, I was over this discussion YESTERDAY.

The lovely song title game is in another section.  In this case, a little HELP might be needed.  There's a difference between someone who is owned writing a journal, and posts created because they are done with the YELLOW SUBMARINE in hand.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 12:02:16 PM   
HisSub1213


Posts: 219
Joined: 11/3/2008
Status: offline 		I want to thank you all. I've gotten some invaluable insight on this topic.

_____________________________

HisSub1213

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped. (Elbert Hubbard)

Fear is the mother of morality. (Friedrich Nietzsche)

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 12:24:21 PM   
wykkidesire2plsU


Posts: 90
Joined: 12/9/2009
Status: offline
quote:

I don't know who it is that keeps telling women that men really get off on long soulful discussions about how we are feeling, or what this relationship means.

But whoever it is, knock it off already.


Like the old saying a woman thinks there is a problem if you dont talk about the relationship and a man thinks there is a problem if you have to talk about it :).


If we mean private journals i would do that if asked, but if we mean Journal entries on CM, i will not do that again. i had one Dom i was interested in ask me to put my thoughts about him in my journal, i wrote all the mmmmm stuff i was feeling at the time and then a week later of course didnt feel that way anymore so then you have to remove it or change it and it is there for all the world to see and you get a million emails saying i told you so, you should have tried me, you are fickle, blah blah . i wont be that public again unless i am way deep into a steady relationship.

< Message edited by wykkidesire2plsU -- 1/30/2010 12:26:53 PM >

(in reply to AnimusRex)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 12:39:08 PM   
EbonyWood


Posts: 2044
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: heartcream

quote:



ORIGINAL: heartcream


Am I misunderstanding you?


quote:

Yes.


quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood


It was directed at submissive males because they are notoriously poor writers and inferior in every way, right? Otherwise what's with all the threads from women bitching about trollish mail and caveman level communication.


Here I am waiting for an explantation. I wonder why I didnt get one.



You didn't ask for one. You got an answer to the question you asked.
 
So, 1 out of 2 for you. Not bad. I'd take it.
 
And 'Paperback Writer' is about the desperation of someone to write something, anything, to get attention.
 
Might be a clue there for you about journals.

(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 12:42:12 PM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline 		Master sometimes requests particular writing assignments from me.  It happened frequently enough for me to suggest starting a journal. I printed out the emails from the beginning of our relationship, photos we've taken along the way, meaningful images like paintings we've discussed, things like that, and turned it all into a scrap book that tells our story.  When He went away for a week, I was instructed to write in it every day. It was easy, little things would come up that I would like to mention to Him, but that weren't worth sending in a text or email, He came back to see every little way I thought of Him during the time He was gone, and was honored and proud.  I love it, as our relationship has grown and deepened, it's lovely to look back.  When I write in it as assigned, He always reads it, mindfully and we talk about any and everything discussed. 

It might not be for everyone, but it's something we enjoy.


_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

(in reply to EbonyWood)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 12:47:29 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		There are two types of journals ones we write for ourselves and ones we write for others. The ones we write for others may not be literally written for a partner but just written in the hope that someone will read it, the first type is honest the second is not. I think it is true that many diary writers hope to have their book discovered and their life be proclaimed so interesting that it needs to be shown to the world.

I have written journals for previous partners, they are either sycophantic or sneaky, neither helped me nor the relationship. So now I avoid the idea like the plague.

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to HisSub1213)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 12:51:54 PM   
NihilusZero


Posts: 4036
Joined: 9/10/2008
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HisSweetElysium

I had meant to mention earlier: pretty new avatar.


_____________________________

"I know it's all a game
I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
~Siouxsie & the Banshees

NihilusZero.com

CM Sex God du Jour
CM Hall Monitor

(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 1:16:25 PM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline 		thank you NihilusZero, it's from the photoshoot I was blabbering about last week. I have more but the photographer hasn't given me the bulk of them, and rather than annoying ppl with "here's more" "and more" posts I thought I'd wait until they're all available for viewing.

_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

(in reply to NihilusZero)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 1:20:00 PM   
heartcream


Posts: 3044
Joined: 5/9/2007
From: Psychoalphadiscobetabioaquadoloop
Status: offline 		Please explain EW what you meant.

_____________________________

"Exaggerate the essential, leave the obvious vague." Vincent Van Gogh

I'd Rather Be With You

Every single line means something.
Jean-Michel Basquiat



(in reply to HisSweetElysium)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Journals - 1/30/2010 2:51:50 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I have no interest in journals nor do I place any weight upon them.

It is not that the written word has no value. I never said that.  It has to do with the ability to explain yourself orally, face to face.  If you are unable to formulate your thoughts when we are together I could really care less if you are only able to pull your thoughts together if you are sitting in front of a keyboard.

Now if you were severely disabled it might be kind of cool to bang you while you were typing away ala Stephen Hawking....

(in a robotic voice) ..."Domi I don't think that will fit in my butt."


The type of people that I am attracted to have the ability to live and respond in the moment in the moment.  Not every fucking thing has to be contemplated and delivered only when properly tweaked or perfected.

If you have a lack of words, unable to act accordingly, or always need time to contemplate a response when we are in person then I have no use for you when we are apart.

Again "journals" bore the fuck out of me.  The Doms that use them as some sort of a wonderful resource in my opinion tend to be tools.

Good day.

_____________________________



(in reply to heartcream)
Profile   Post #: 60
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