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RE: When you first started out - 2/1/2010 1:55:37 PM

subtee

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Didn't your mom ever tell you your eyes will get stuck that way?

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RE: When you first started out - 2/1/2010 2:32:24 PM

Jeffff

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All the time. Then Dad would whip out the VW and use it on her till she passed out. Dad didn't cotton to no woman tellin' men folks what to do.

I had an odd childhood.

Jeff

As always, edited for typing, not content

< Message edited by Jeffff -- 2/1/2010 2:33:36 PM >

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RE: When you first started out - 2/1/2010 2:45:56 PM

subtee

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'splains a lot, lil Ricky

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RE: When you first started out - 2/6/2010 11:25:34 AM

texangael

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

did you have a mentor or do did you just wing it and go with your instincts? Thanks.

Every man has a mentor--that's the polite term for the "ex".

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RE: When you first started out - 2/6/2010 11:36:58 AM

winterlight

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LOL @ domiguy

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RE: When you first started out - 2/6/2010 4:52:31 PM

DesFIP

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Why would I need a mentor? I was an adult with a whole lifetime full of experiences. I am, and was, perfectly capable of seeing if someone's words and actions agreed. I was, and still am, perfectly capable of figuring out what I need and what doesn't work for me.

Nor did I feel I had to have three people accompany me to a Starbuck's to meet someone for coffee, anymore than I've needed that to go out to dinner with someone I have met.

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RE: When you first started out - 2/17/2010 4:33:32 PM

slavefinder30

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I cannot say I have ever had a BDSM mentor. I am creative, I have devoured every book I could find on the subject, and sexual dominance is very natural to me. That being said, I still have learned allot about the importance of SAFE PLAY (especially use of the single tail) through the teaching of more experienced doms, although I can't call any one of them a particular mentor.

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RE: When you first started out - 3/15/2010 7:19:22 PM

DomBlade64

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Im trying HARD to find a mentor but I cant find one to help me learn to properly Dom... So I am going to have to rely on myself. Im alright with that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

did you have a mentor or do did you just wing it and go with your instincts? Thanks.

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RE: When you first started out - 3/15/2010 8:59:35 PM

PrimalConsonance

Posts: 463
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From: Southern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned

did you have a mentor or do did you just wing it and go with your instincts? Thanks.

I didn't have a mentor when I started out, and just did what felt right and logical, keeping in mind about views on respect and what was safe. I also picked up on many other influences through the years...everything from observing how certain personality traits were displayed and what sort of response was given back in return. A lot of observation in the vanilla world, the media, and how others treated each other. I also read besides other media that was available, and maybe not so oddly enough some came from school. In college, Freud and the other psychological rock-stars really helped me define my views and philosophy on BDSM and my place in it all.

Add a few years of learning from doing, from watching others with direct play, and some patient submissives (some very knowledgeable), and an open-mind...I was coming along very nicely. Having an open-mind is important, as well as a willingness to understand that if you already know everything, then what is there to learn from? So I would have to say that even though I picked up a LOT through the years, there was a tremendous amount of information available to constantly learn from.

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RE: When you first started out - 3/16/2010 9:38:20 PM

Kana

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I was 18
She was 27
I had lots of kinky thoughts and fantasies full of screams and ravishings
She had years experience as a full service 24/7/365 slave to a Domme
I am imaginative and willing to learn
She was patient.
She, and the slaves who followed, taught me the majority of what I know about BDSM.
I will always be grateful to those wonderful ladies.

Now relationships...grins...I learned about those by repeated application of that age old teaching method- fuck up, get hurt, learn a lesson or two, fuck up, get hurt, learn a lesson or two, rinse, repeat

< Message edited by Kana -- 3/16/2010 9:40:03 PM >

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RE: When you first started out - 3/16/2010 10:17:38 PM

Smutmonger

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I got offline and met a girl who had the hots for me-after about a year of attending a local playspace-and selling a few hand made toys. She was a bondage freak-ropework. I also learned how much of a cluster fuck polyamory can be with her,and a couple of others-which soured me on it pretty much permanently.

Fifteen years later,I'm just taking it easy. There is no rush.

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RE: When you first started out - 3/16/2010 10:27:56 PM

DarlingSavage

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I'm just now seein' this, but for FR, I just "wung it"" And I still am. I'm just a "fly by the seat of my pants" girl and at this point in my life, I probably always will be. LOL!

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RE: When you first started out - 3/17/2010 5:02:19 AM

RavenMuse

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If a supposed Dominant NEEDS a Mentor then I'd have to wonder if they where actually bloody Dominant in the first place.

When I first started there where many whom I listened to, took advice from, learned a great deal from.... they had traits, opinions and experiences that I learned much from as well as skills that I could watch them use and become better at those things Myself.

But the onus on learning was on ME, I didn't have anyone TELLING Me what I must do, what I must learn, what I must think. If you NEED that level of direction then beg for their collar. Otherwise take up the responsibility for yourself, learn from those around You by all means but shape yourself don't expect someone else to do the work for you.

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RE: When you first started out - 3/17/2010 7:07:16 AM

osf

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

If a supposed Dominant NEEDS a Mentor then I'd have to wonder if they where actually bloody Dominant in the first place.

When I first started there where many whom I listened to, took advice from, learned a great deal from.... they had traits, opinions and experiences that I learned much from as well as skills that I could watch them use and become better at those things Myself.

But the onus on learning was on ME, I didn't have anyone TELLING Me what I must do, what I must learn, what I must think. If you NEED that level of direction then beg for their collar. Otherwise take up the responsibility for yourself, learn from those around You by all means but shape yourself don't expect someone else to do the work for you.

Hear, Hear

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