why taboo fetishes? (Full Version)

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IwantToLive -> why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 12:42:09 AM)

i have for about 30 years wanted to be a full toilet slave for a Dominant Woman. my quest has been met with rejection, assault, threats of harm, threats of death, all kinds of persecution. i am age 50. my vanilla wife tells everyone my desire to eat her sh*t. she got people hating me and wanting to hurt me or kill me. i had to leave los angeles and ended up back in missouri. she is in los angeles with her boyfriend. in the bdsm lifestyle... it is your kink not mine... so i have not had a Mistress since 1997. there are very few Dommes that want a full toilet... so i went the way of vanilla women... while i had no luck with them ... i had put the interest on hold for awhile... then i am with a vanilla woman. i know a full toilet slave is taboo or at least a woman using one thinks it too taboo for her. i don't understand the closed mindness... women do that in a regular toilet all the time.. why not a mouth? will my dream of being a full toilet ever come true. i am more wise and don't take much chance anymore cause i am damn leary.
Billy




MargueriteV -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 12:44:44 AM)

Why can't you be a partial toilet slave?




allthatjaz -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 12:55:48 AM)

Do you not go to the scat sites? there are plenty on the web

Full toilet slave is something I have seldom come accross on the BDSM scene.
The thing is with scat, your either into it or your not and I think its pointless trying to convert someone. If they say no to scat then they mean no and theres nothing thats going to change their mind.
I have a friend that is really into scat and gets hugely turned on by it. Im left baffled as to why something so smelly could get her going but each to their own. If it works for her then great.




BoiJen -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 6:17:16 AM)

Ok here's where the "Lame Posts" thread doesn't get applied.

DUDE! You're bitching that women aren't into shitting on you. And basically you're saying that women who aren't into your kink are "closed minded"? Seriously? Hell, I thought closed minded dealt with speaking about religious, sexual, political, and racial freedoms, not what gets some guy off.

If a woman says it's not Her kink don't go bitching that she's closed minded to the whole world, it's a HUGE turn off and it sure as hell isn't gonna win you any bonus points.

boi
Migraines are the best way to wake up....aim...fire!




DarkSteven -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 6:29:51 AM)

Fellow, there are two issues here.  The first is your desire for scat play. The second is everyone's response to it, which is way out of whack.

There's something deeply wrong about the way you bring this up to people, and the value that you place on it - you've let it ruin your life.

Get therapy.  Seriously.




LadyPact -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 7:39:34 AM)

In My opinion, that is not being closed minded.  I have yet to meet the person out there who is into each and every fetish that anyone could possibly come up with.  Some things turn people on and for others, it doesn't.  Scat it a hard limit for a lot of people and they have every right to that hard limit, on either side of the kneel.




Jeffff -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 7:41:02 AM)

And if you add in compatibility in other areas, it could take a very long time to find any sort of partner.


Jeff




QueenRah -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 8:02:07 AM)

Billy,

I, for one, have several concerns about scat:

1) I am very leery about passing disease. Human feces are rife with it. I won't expose myself or others to it. (Also, I won't have any kind of play involving any other bodily excretions. So, no blood or urine play, either.)

2) I am hypersensitive to olfactory sensations - more so than the other five, which are also highly sensitive. Especially bad smells make me ill. I won't subject myself to them.

3) It ain't my kink, because of the two aforementioned bullets. So, I *do* have judgments on it, quite visceral, both about self-preservation.

Please try not to judge others for not sharing your kink. Be realistic about your interest, the risks involved and the sensibilities of others, and find someone who enjoys it or/and who will do it for you for a fee.

QR




SolangeRichards -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 8:09:02 AM)

He certainly has an esoteric fetish, but I'm not sure it's one that rises to the point of requiring psychological treatment. I mean, it's been around for a long time and been documented throughout history. Some counseling might help him better integrate his desires into his everyday life, but coprophilia in and of itself is not considered a mental illness so far as I know.

I know life can be hard on someone with such an off putting interest, and I can feel the OPs frustration.

That said though, I consider it unfortunate that the OP has chosen to make this an issue about others rather than look for potential partners in venues that might be appropriate. It seems that meeting someone in a bar let's say, having a few drinks together, a couple of dances, then dropping the whole shit eating thing on her lap is not going to play out well. Then to brand her close minded seems like a very bitter cherry on top of the whole pile.

I don't like waffles. I have never eaten a waffle. The look of them is disturbing and those uniform chambers oozing sticky sweet syrups is nauseating to me. I'm not close minded, I don't care if others eat them, it's not an issue to me, just not going to eat one myself.

OP, I support your desire to be yourself but I have to say you might want to consider other ways to achieve your Nirvana.

And use plenty of Altoids while you're at it....




BoiJen -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 8:31:13 AM)

quote:

coprophilia
quote:

ORIGINAL: SolangeRichards

He certainly has an esoteric fetish, but I'm not sure it's one that rises to the point of requiring psychological treatment. I mean, it's been around for a long time and been documented throughout history. Some counseling might help him better integrate his desires into his everyday life, but coprophilia in and of itself is not considered a mental illness so far as I know.

I know life can be hard on someone with such an off putting interest, and I can feel the OPs frustration.

That said though, I consider it unfortunate that the OP has chosen to make this an issue about others rather than look for potential partners in venues that might be appropriate. It seems that meeting someone in a bar let's say, having a few drinks together, a couple of dances, then dropping the whole shit eating thing on her lap is not going to play out well. Then to brand her close minded seems like a very bitter cherry on top of the whole pile.

I don't like waffles. I have never eaten a waffle. The look of them is disturbing and those uniform chambers oozing sticky sweet syrups is nauseating to me. I'm not close minded, I don't care if others eat them, it's not an issue to me, just not going to eat one myself.

OP, I support your desire to be yourself but I have to say you might want to consider other ways to achieve your Nirvana.

And use plenty of Altoids while you're at it....


Actually, the DSM would note that his fetish is hindering him socially and sexually and therefore does need to be treated by a professional. The DSM treats all fetishes (the object of sexual gratification to the point of needing that object to function sexually at all and as such causes social, occupational, or other significant dysfunction) with a blanket statement of "unhealthy".

This where "sexual enthusiasm" and "fetish" often get confused and, unfortunately, the word "fetish" is overly misused.

The DSM-IV-TR is the first issue of the DSM that removed homosexuality from the list of "bad".


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coprophilia

Coprophilia (from Greek κόπρος, kópros—excrement and φιλία, filía—liking, fondness), also called scatophilia or scat,[1] is the paraphilia involving sexual pleasure from feces.[2][3] In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of the American Psychiatric Association (DSM-IV-TR), it is classified under 302.9 Paraphilia Not Otherwise Specified and has no diagnostic criteria other than a general statement about paraphilias that says "the diagnosis is made if the behavior, sexual urges, or fantasies cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning." Furthermore, the DSM-IV-TR notes, "Fantasies, behaviors, or objects are paraphilic only when they lead to clinically significant distress or impairment (e.g. are obligatory, result in sexual dysfunction, require participation of nonconsenting individuals, lead to legal complications, interfere with social relationships)."


boi
Psych Major...oh yeah! lol




LadyHibiscus -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 8:44:01 AM)

Scat and other toilet play is just not my thing. I am not grossed out by it, and have done some---though not had anyone eat my shit---and it just does not move me. I want to evacuate in peace, on my body's schedule and not have to make a "scene" out of it. That does not make me closed minded, it just makes me who I am.

There are folks who play with scat. Head on over to Fetlife, there are all sorts of interest-based groups there. Check other sources on the net. Travel to Asia, maybe. If you have gone all this time without having your desires met, doesn't it show that it's not a life essential? Perhaps a montly visit/scene, instead of an on-call waste producer?




SolangeRichards -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 9:32:04 AM)

Yes, he does mention a number of problems associated with his desires, but these seem to be emanating from his failed relationship with his ex-wife. He's not exactly an easy read, and whenever a relationship has failed I don't think we should point at his kink and say "A ha!", you are doing this to yourself with your kink. Taking him at face value, is he at fault because someone sent by his ex wants to harm him? Could he do better with his situation? Probably he could...

Overall, he appears to understand that society frowns on his kink, just can't accept why, which I think is his main problem. He mentions vanilla encounters, just would like them to be more. I did mention that counseling could help him with that.

A paraphilia is not the same as a mental illness. I don't think the guy is nuts.




LadyPact -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 9:50:28 AM)

It does kind of bring up an interesting thought......

OK.  The kink isn't really high up there in wide spread popularity.  There are other kinks out there that we could say the same thing about, including some of My own.  LOL.

So, exactly where is the line between changing your life because you want to incorporate a particular kink which is 'who you are' as opposed to 'the kink is detrimental to you' because necessary changes are made?  If we weren't talking about scat, but instead perhaps the AB or TV/TG folks, don't those folks often lose personal relationships with family members, etc, because they could not accept transition?  While I don't believe for a second that sexual orientation is a kink or a choice, doesn't the same situation also happen (family members who can't accept it) in some cases?  People still 'come out' later in life and end heterosexual marriages.

In My case, all of My kinks are choices and there aren't any of them that I couldn't live without.  Yet, I read expressions from others that there are certain things that they could never give up in life.  I have to admit, I wonder how other people see this.




AAkasha -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 9:58:28 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It does kind of bring up an interesting thought......

OK.  The kink isn't really high up there in wide spread popularity.  There are other kinks out there that we could say the same thing about, including some of My own.  LOL.

So, exactly where is the line between changing your life because you want to incorporate a particular kink which is 'who you are' as opposed to 'the kink is detrimental to you' because necessary changes are made?  If we weren't talking about scat, but instead perhaps the AB or TV/TG folks, don't those folks often lose personal relationships with family members, etc, because they could not accept transition?  While I don't believe for a second that sexual orientation is a kink or a choice, doesn't the same situation also happen (family members who can't accept it) in some cases?  People still 'come out' later in life and end heterosexual marriages.

In My case, all of My kinks are choices and there aren't any of them that I couldn't live without.  Yet, I read expressions from others that there are certain things that they could never give up in life.  I have to admit, I wonder how other people see this.



I think if your kink is causing you more angst (pound for pound, so to speak) than joy, maybe you need to remove the kink. If you "cannot remove the kink" in exchange for happiness and fulfillment, wouldn't that indicate that there is a problem?

Akasha




SolangeRichards -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 10:44:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

It does kind of bring up an interesting thought......

OK.  The kink isn't really high up there in wide spread popularity.  There are other kinks out there that we could say the same thing about, including some of My own.  LOL.

So, exactly where is the line between changing your life because you want to incorporate a particular kink which is 'who you are' as opposed to 'the kink is detrimental to you' because necessary changes are made?  If we weren't talking about scat, but instead perhaps the AB or TV/TG folks, don't those folks often lose personal relationships with family members, etc, because they could not accept transition?  While I don't believe for a second that sexual orientation is a kink or a choice, doesn't the same situation also happen (family members who can't accept it) in some cases?  People still 'come out' later in life and end heterosexual marriages.

In My case, all of My kinks are choices and there aren't any of them that I couldn't live without.  Yet, I read expressions from others that there are certain things that they could never give up in life.  I have to admit, I wonder how other people see this.



I think if your kink is causing you more angst (pound for pound, so to speak) than joy, maybe you need to remove the kink. If you "cannot remove the kink" in exchange for happiness and fulfillment, wouldn't that indicate that there is a problem?

Akasha




Sure, it indicates a problem, but I'm not sure we both are talking about the same problem. It appears that our toilet fan might see his kink as the precise vehicle to his happiness and fulfillment. His post seems to indicate that he has been trying to live a "normal" life without it and finds this not to be what he wants.

Can one cure a kink? I know when the DSM viewed homosexuality as a kink the head shrinkers sure tried and I know first hand how they handled transgender issues. Both are still with us and appear to be flourishing in fact.

There's no easy answer, and I'm leaning in the direction that if something does not involve kids, animals or non-consenting adults I'm not really sure there is a problem at all.

The OP, whether he likes it or not, is going to have to accept that he has an interest with very limited popularity. He's going to have to understand that he's not going to change the world's mind. He's going to have to learn that his time is best spent searching for women that do share his kink rather than be upset at the ones who do not. Counseling can help him deal with all of that if he wants it to...

In my own life, I will say that given the right reason, I would drop crossdressing like a hot rock. It's part of me, I would miss it and frankly I would always be a crossdresser, just not a practicing one, but if I were to meet the person that I believed to be my soul mate and a decision had to be made on how "we" were going to live than I would make the decision based upon what was best for "us".

A win/win of course would be a soul mate willing to make room for it, but if it were to end because of a soul mate entering my life I would never feel like I lost a darn thing....




MsMillgrove -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 11:10:51 AM)

Take the good advice of heading over to Fetlife. Diapers and peeing on yourself is not a very popular fetish with most dommes, but we referred a person from CM over there, to find others--who share interest and he has had some luck--so why not try it first to see if there's some consolation in sharing with others or even finding another who will share the kink with you.

Here's something no one asked yet--have you ever done this full toilet real time? You say it's a dream you want to come true. You might be very surprised to discover it's not as cool as you think it is. I spent years with my footboy online--listening to him yack yack his fetish.. and finally, he moved closer to me so I met him real life.. and since we found we just love to spend time together.. i let him be my footboy real time. Well .. it turns out that real foot play doesn't really do much for him! It was all the talking and imagining. I mini-trampled him not long ago.. very very moderately...and it scared him half to death... He's bored with foot play. But he's turned into a super service sub.

IF you've never really done this--why don't you pay someone to do with with you.. and find out--is it really all you imagine.




RumpusParable -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 11:14:04 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IwantToLive

i have for about 30 years wanted to be a full toilet slave for a Dominant Woman. my quest has been met with rejection, assault, threats of harm, threats of death, all kinds of persecution. i am age 50. my vanilla wife tells everyone my desire to eat her sh*t. she got people hating me and wanting to hurt me or kill me. i had to leave los angeles and ended up back in missouri. she is in los angeles with her boyfriend. in the bdsm lifestyle... it is your kink not mine... so i have not had a Mistress since 1997. there are very few Dommes that want a full toilet... so i went the way of vanilla women... while i had no luck with them ... i had put the interest on hold for awhile... then i am with a vanilla woman. i know a full toilet slave is taboo or at least a woman using one thinks it too taboo for her. i don't understand the closed mindness... women do that in a regular toilet all the time.. why not a mouth? will my dream of being a full toilet ever come true. i am more wise and don't take much chance anymore cause i am damn leary.
Billy


At age 50 you haven't mastered the simple fact that different people like different things?  Because that's really all you're complaining about.  I'm sure there are things I'm into that you're not a huge fan of, everyone is a bit different.

As to the fact that you've built your life around scat play, I can't say I think it is healthy...  but then, I may be biased as I have no life-consuming and shaping fetishes.  What few genuine fetishes I have, all 3 of them lol, none are things I couldn't and can't have a relationship without.  So I am admittedly biased.




RedMagic1 -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 11:32:42 AM)

When I had a profile on Alt, I IMed with a woman who was interested in being a full toilet slave.  (We never met in real, so I'm not sure she was female, but she chatted like one -- interested in kids, emotions, friends, not sexually directed.)  We were talking about meeting, and she brought up her fetish because it was a must-have in a relationship for her.  She phrased it like, "I would want to consume every essence of the man who owns me."

I said I was concerned about health risks, but not saying no way.  She talked about all the research she had done, and that she knew how she could eat everything that came out of me perfectly safely.  I said I liked her personality and was willing to meet her, but I didn't know if I could accommodate the entirety of her fetish, because of health concerns.  I was willing to look at the research with her though.  I was going out of my way to be nice about this, because it had been so hard for her to reveal this part of herself to me.

She blew up at me, and said that no one trusted her, ever, or wanted to be part of her fetish.  She felt horrible, blah blah blah.  I decided right then that I had no further interest in meeting her -- not because of her kink, but because of her irrationality.

So, my question is: are you doing this too?  Are you calling people close-minded when they are only being cautious?  Are you setting yourself up to fail, because you have been told no so many times, you'd rather refuse others than risk being told no again?




LafayetteLady -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 1:52:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: IwantToLive

i have for about 30 years wanted to be a full toilet slave for a Dominant Woman. my quest has been met with rejection, assault, threats of harm, threats of death, all kinds of persecution. i am age 50. my vanilla wife tells everyone my desire to eat her sh*t. she got people hating me and wanting to hurt me or kill me. i had to leave los angeles and ended up back in missouri. she is in los angeles with her boyfriend. in the bdsm lifestyle... it is your kink not mine... so i have not had a Mistress since 1997. there are very few Dommes that want a full toilet... so i went the way of vanilla women... while i had no luck with them ... i had put the interest on hold for awhile... then i am with a vanilla woman. i know a full toilet slave is taboo or at least a woman using one thinks it too taboo for her. i don't understand the closed mindness... women do that in a regular toilet all the time.. why not a mouth? will my dream of being a full toilet ever come true. i am more wise and don't take much chance anymore cause i am damn leary.
Billy



I stayed away from this thread for a while, because I personally can't find the thrill in the activity. But I did keep reading all the posts. While I still don't quite "get" the thrill of the kink, I really think there is more going on here.

The OP says he had to leave Los Angeles because his wife made people hate him, threaten him and want to kill him? Over a desire to eat shit? That seems a little off to me. LA is a very big place after all.

Even given the whole your kink isn't my kink thinking, the OP seems to be very illogical. I mean, really, dominant women turn him down, so he tries to get vanilla women into it? That seems like setting yourself up to fail, don't y'all think?

I am wondering if perhaps the OP would really rather keep it a fantasy and is using it as an excuse for relationships to not work. That is the only thing that would make any sense to me when looking to "vanillas" in an attempt to make things happen. Let's face it, even though everyone is at least a little kinky, this one is more "out there" than others and the liklihood of someone not into the "scene" to begin with hearing this and being like "yea, sure, I would love to shit in your mouth" would be pretty scarce (and even saying that is an understatement).

The bottom line is that the OP would likely benefit from therapy. Not because of his kink, but because of how it interferes with his life, and how he is using it as a detriment from being able to find a partner.




stella41b -> RE: why taboo fetishes? (2/2/2010 2:48:28 PM)

I can't help but wonder if the OP hasn't turned himself into a One Kink Wonder and isn't putting the cart before the horse, so to speak.

It's a common mistake of some people to place their innermost kinks and desires on the table as 'must have' dealbreakers even before they have found someone with whom to develop a relationship.

I understand the stigma, and prejudice the OP writes about, for it squicks a lot of people.

However I have yet to hear of someone becoming ill or dying through not eating shit.

I feel that the OP has got his priorities not quite right and has greatly exaggerated his need and desire to experience scat which has made him a One Kink Wonder, living a life ruled and dominated by one particular kink.

MsMilligrove makes an excellent point, have you tried it? LadyPact makes another excellent point, kink is a choice.

I feel this would be like me saying that I wish to spend New Year's Eve in Timbuktu, and refusing to leave my home until I am travelling to Timbuktu.

But life goes on, I leave my home, and one day, just maybe, I will make it to Timbuktu.

Similarly in the case of the OP, life goes on, let the domme you are seeking be your Mistress, not your kink, and you never know what might happen.




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