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chase4647 -> What do you think: was this a scam attempt? (2/10/2010 10:24:43 AM)
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Hello to All,
(To the person mentioned in this post: please note that I omit all identifiable details - I will never try to harm you, my goal here is to understand).
First time poster, and total newbie here (which explains a lot of what I'm about to write). Signed up to CM maybe a couple of weeks ago, identified myself as a gay male switch, but soon was more drawn to the sub side.
Early on I striked up a conversation with a Dom from another country (I live in the US), and after a few emails we hit it off, and started IM'ing to each other several times a day, some of those for a few hours. There were also a few phone calls and emails. I really liked him because he seemed intelligent, gentle and caring. Since I'm new to the whole thing he took a long time explaining how it all works, said that he would train me as his slave starting slow, and was vey tolerant to my desire to avoid almost all physical pain.
The first red flag happened perhaps 2-3 days after our first contact, when he said that once I accepted to be his slave I should send him a gift to show appreciation for my Master, and then my (long-distance) training could begin. Pretending not to know what he meant (but I don't think it was a Valentine's day card!) I said ok, and asked what kind of gift. After some back and forth, he suggested $200 to pay for his internet bills would be an appropriate gift, since he needed the internet to talk with me. Now folks, here's the clincher: by this time I was already so wrapped up in him that money was the least of my concerns. I actually felt _honored_ that my (future) Master and Lord would deign to take my humble money. This was a person who was paying me a lot of the attention that I craved for: he told me that when I went to his country to visit we would play with his Dom friends and their slaves, the slaves all pretending to be dogs and thrown peanuts directly into their mouths (yummy!); I would worship him as my God at his feet (doule yummy!); etc etc. So as I said I felt a vague sensation of pleasure by agreeing to send him th emoney and formally begin our M/s relationship.
This lasted maybe 30 minutes... In that same IM I told him that I was having second thoughts about the money. He was very understanding and said to forget about the money, and that our relationship was not going to be about money. I felt releived.
We continued in this vein for several days, me asking questions about was going to happen (and - mea culpa here - being a rather difficult slave I'm afraid, with lots of limits and demands).
In the last two days or so, he told me that his internet connection was about to be taken down and that our contact would have to be over the phone. As this is not very practical (I'm married and at least for now don't want my wife to know any of this), I suggested to send him the money after all. He said no no no, our relationship is not about the money. I insisted. He refused. I did not insist enough.
Then he said that it would take him months to get the connection back and that therefore we needed to wait some months before beginning the relationship. I asked: how can we handle that? He said: I think I will take you up on your offer.
Long story short (is anyone still reading?): shortly thereafter we said "goodbye forever." I still asked whether he would forgive me for not fully trusting him (which I acknowledged was the case), and he said that he could forgive me. I never sent the money, although the Lord knows (the actual Lord, not this one) that I was tempted to.
What do you think: was this a scam attempt? What probability would you attach to that: 100%, 50%. My own private probability is only 20% but that is probably because I was truly falling in love for the guy and probably still have a soft spot for him.
I have made a list of the reasons to believe it was a scam:
1) Aasking for money early on, later the insistence on using Western Union.
2) He is still using the internet.
3) He would not give me the email of his ex-slave so that I could check that he was real. (Feel free to tell me I'm not a good slave, what with all the demands, and I'll freely agree -- but that's not the point of this post).
I have also made a list of the factors that make me think perhaps it was not:
1) There was a gentleness and humanity in him that I think is hard to happen as just a performance if you don't feel anything. He seemed to be truly searching for love.
2) He seemed genuinely upset by the fact that meanwhile I had already agreed to be someone else's slave, even though I told him I didn't want to be that person's slave anymore (insert more comments about my bad here - my only excuse is that I thought that first relationship was on a trial basis and could end at any point).
3) He seemed genuinely upset when I said that I would visit his country only in two years. He said: I want a slave to be with me and serve me full time, not just from time to time. No mention of money issues here, full mention of companioship and relationship.
4) He seemed very upset by all of my demands. He said: you are overpowering me.
Regarding points 2-4 my question would be: if all he wanted was money, why would he be so upset?
Anyway, I would love to hear from all of you, especially if you are more experienced than me. Anyone who has been scammed want to share their experinces and / or views, perhaps?
Finally, apologies for the long post, but you could not answer the question in the title if I didn't give you the details.
Thank you in advance for all responses.
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