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who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 10:28:52 AM

eroticone4u

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i'm new to this lifesyle and wanting to become a great DOM to either a sub or slave. i would like to know what each of those look for in a DOM? would any female care to help me out with this?

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 10:39:15 AM

AquaticSub

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A man who loves me, listens to me, values me, holds me, leads me, knows he isn't always right, knows he has me for a reason and - in the end - it's not my boobies so he should give value to what I think...

And, of course, lets me have as many shoes as I want.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to eroticone4u)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 10:44:30 AM

peppermint

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He's got to have a super sense of humor.

(in reply to eroticone4u)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 10:46:12 AM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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I think that most of us would want different attributes in a dominant man... but here are a few things that I think would serve you well when seeking...

1) honesty
2) honoring boundaries
3) having a caring attitude when it is needed

There are more, but most of it is just what a particular submissive wants, and not applicable to the majority...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to eroticone4u)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 10:50:45 AM

elleX

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..self-confidence ,,,, no issues with a super-ego,,,,good insight capacity,,,and sensitivity to others ,,, especially to submissive women ,,, and leading capacity,,, are a must to be a good dominant for me

elleX

(in reply to peppermint)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 10:54:02 AM

Jeffff

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Jeffff

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 10:58:18 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Jeffff

But what is it about you that makes a "great" dominantlordlyonemasteroftheuniverseandallkinkdom?

I mean what pearls of wisdom will you offer so that others may understand your greatness?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 10:58:26 AM

Madame4a

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I was thinking ... in answer to "who" ... ME!

and perhaps to what makes a good one.. .a big dick of course

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You're crazy bitch
But you f*ck so good, I'm on top of it
When I dream, I'm doing you all night
Scratches all down my back to keep me right on

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 11:00:27 AM

osf

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haven't a clue, i just know what works for me and the type of woman i want

being a dominant is too individualistic for me to give you an answer for you

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all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to juliaoceania)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 11:14:15 AM

Jeffff

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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Jeffff

But what is it about you that makes a "great" dominantlordlyonemasteroftheuniverseandallkinkdom?

I mean what pearls of wisdom will you offer so that others may understand your greatness?

I am smart. I am funny, I am warm. I am kind, I am a sadist. I would have her back, I would also have her front...:). I can be trusted... mostly...:)

I am not a dumbass................YAY!!!!!!

Jeff

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"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 11:17:34 AM

lucylucy

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I want to be able to trust him to make decisions for both of us. For me to trust someone to have my best interest in mind, he has to actually have my best interest in mind. His perspective of what is in my best interest will involve how I can best serve him.

I also want someone who is articulate. I'm terrible at guessing games and if I'm going to please him, he needs to be able to articulate to me how to do that, at least at first while I'm getting to know him and his quirks.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to osf)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 11:22:28 AM

osf

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I want to be able to trust him to make decisions for both of us. For me to trust someone to have my best interest in mind, he has to actually have my best interest in mind. His perspective of what is in my best interest will involve how I can best serve him.

I also want someone who is articulate. I'm terrible at guessing games and if I'm going to please him, he needs to be able to articulate to me how to do that, at least at first while I'm getting to know him and his quirks.

that can be said for a great nilla guy too

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to lucylucy)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 11:25:09 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

I would have her back, I would also have her front...:).

This is the most important thing for me as a sub... a man that has my front and my back... yay

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Jeffff)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 11:25:59 AM

onlyfreelycaged

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*posted using fast reply*
if I was looking for a play partner, then someone who'd like to hurt me...

if I was looking for a relationship, then I'd want someone who enjoys nearly equal oposite kinks as me. (as in I am sub, he'd be dom.. I like to be hurt, he'd like to hurt me). But, that I'd have in my life even if our kinks didn't match, becouse I couldn't see them as not a part of my life. He's also have to feel the same about me.

*edited for clarity.

< Message edited by onlyfreelycaged -- 2/11/2010 11:27:29 AM >

(in reply to lucylucy)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 11:26:45 AM

juliaoceania

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quote:

that can be said for a great nilla guy too

You know what, most of the things that make a good person also make a good dom... who knew?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to osf)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 11:30:54 AM

lucylucy

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Joined: 3/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I want to be able to trust him to make decisions for both of us. For me to trust someone to have my best interest in mind, he has to actually have my best interest in mind. His perspective of what is in my best interest will involve how I can best serve him.

I also want someone who is articulate. I'm terrible at guessing games and if I'm going to please him, he needs to be able to articulate to me how to do that, at least at first while I'm getting to know him and his quirks.

that can be said for a great nilla guy too

In vanilla relationships, I never trusted my partner to have my best interest in mind. :) But even if I had, the stakes are a lot higher when I'm tied up and can't do anything for myself.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to osf)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 11:34:21 AM

osf

Posts: 3288
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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I want to be able to trust him to make decisions for both of us. For me to trust someone to have my best interest in mind, he has to actually have my best interest in mind. His perspective of what is in my best interest will involve how I can best serve him.

I also want someone who is articulate. I'm terrible at guessing games and if I'm going to please him, he needs to be able to articulate to me how to do that, at least at first while I'm getting to know him and his quirks.

that can be said for a great nilla guy too

In vanilla relationships, I never trusted my partner to have my best interest in mind. :) But even if I had, the stakes are a lot higher when I'm tied up and can't do anything for myself.

i think they define best interests differently

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to lucylucy)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 11:42:33 AM

lucylucy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy
I want to be able to trust him to make decisions for both of us. For me to trust someone to have my best interest in mind, he has to actually have my best interest in mind. His perspective of what is in my best interest will involve how I can best serve him.

I also want someone who is articulate. I'm terrible at guessing games and if I'm going to please him, he needs to be able to articulate to me how to do that, at least at first while I'm getting to know him and his quirks.

that can be said for a great nilla guy too

In vanilla relationships, I never trusted my partner to have my best interest in mind. :) But even if I had, the stakes are a lot higher when I'm tied up and can't do anything for myself.

i think they define best interests differently

Yes, which is another reason that the stakes are even higher in a D/s relationship.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to osf)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 11:50:59 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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Who makes a great dom? I can't ever be absolutely sure but my guess is....

Jeff (cuz he's my fav)
Merc
LadyHabiscus
LadyPact
LaT
KnightofMists
I'd say RS but he'd smack me for calling him a dom
RS (for the smacks)
Ron
Domiguy
DominateUrDreamz (sic?)
Ebonywood
DarkSteven

Especially
MOD16!

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 2/11/2010 11:53:12 AM >

(in reply to lucylucy)

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RE: who makes a great DOM - 2/11/2010 11:55:10 AM

sexyred1

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I am on pain meds right now so let's see what I can contribute...

No particular order:

1. Very smart
2. Likes smart women
3. Passionate
4. Funny
5. able to communicate, verbally, written, non verbal
6. Loyal
7. Honest
8. Possessive
10. Trustworthy
11. Patient
12. Social skills
13. does not think spirit means bratty or topping from the bottom
14. wants a total relationship just not casual play
15. Highly sexual
16. Makes me feel safe, sane, crazy in love, lustful, wanting to rip each other's clothes off all the time, can cuddle, can kiss, is creative, kinky as hell, makes me think, adores me, accepts my faults, accepts his faults, understands compromise, has opinions, "gets" me, respects my brain but also loves to turn me into a begging, whimpering, slut.

Does that help?

Like I said, I am on pain meds right now, so I am well aware the above is a wish list, much like fairies and unicorns.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 2/11/2010 11:57:08 AM >

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