RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you?

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/16/2010 3:52:57 PM

Kaiel

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damn... I just noticed My typo in that statement.... ohhh well... hehehhehehe.. (sips My chardonnay)

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/16/2010 3:58:15 PM

StrongSpirit

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I have seen many types of Doms and Masters. There are sadists that are polite and obedient. There are arrogant shmucks, there are those that are both demanding and polite.

I personally don't like to label X as being a Master or a Dom.

But I can tell you that the aspects of my personality that others call Dominance include:

An insistence on being respected, including my personal sexuality. (The idea of a partner being upset that I am attracted to other women, pornography, etc is tremendously insulting - Do they think I'm asexual? If you don't like my sexuality, then don't get a relationship with me.)

A desire to be the one making the decisions, combined with a willingness to both secure the opinion of my others and to give it reasonable weight when I make the decisions. If you don't trust me to be fair, then don't get in a relationship with me. If anything, people that know me think I am too soft hearted - being dominant does not mean being mean.

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/16/2010 5:34:28 PM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessEllie

I never want my Dom to read this thread, or he'll start leaving the seat up after I've gone to bed so my sleepy ass can fall in the potty (which needs cleaning).

Um, what is it that needs cleaning? The potty or the sleepy ass?

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/16/2010 9:50:29 PM

antipode

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quote:

I want to know what it means to be a Dom to you.
I want to know what you enjoy about being in the Dominant role.

Your question kind of infers a comparison - but there is none. It is who I am, I've never been anything else, nor have I ever aspired to being any other way. Similarly, for your second question - it is not a role. It is my personality. Those of us who have ever taken Myer-Briggs, in my case in a corporate setting, have had our personality structure explined to us, perhaps that is a good place for you to begin some research:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator

For me at least, my dominant personality is something that pervades my life, my career, it is not in any way restricted to just personal relationships. It is eminently possible there are other types of dominant personalities, in particular those that compensate using dominance.

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/16/2010 9:56:51 PM

CelticNightmare

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Op-perhaps this is a little better insight.

A Dom is the sort of man who refuses to compromise his core to be with someone else.

You will depart before that does.

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/16/2010 10:41:36 PM

CruelSpanker

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To me being a dom means that my subs respect me and the rules that I lay down. That they submit to what I want without question. However it also means that they trust me enough to talk to me when somethings bothering them, or they're having issues with some rules I've laid down. All relationships are two sided, give and take as it were, and while I do enjoy making my sub come over my knee for a spanking that turns her butt a glowing crimson or having her follow whatever commands I issue at the time, if something's bothering her I want her to tell me. I never want a sub to feel like she can never bring up issues that spring up in a relationship, because in my opinion a relationship where my opinion and feelings are the only ones that matters just can't work...at least not for me.

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 12:53:30 AM

jujubeeMB

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whiplashsmile4

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaiel

quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticNightmare

Big girls can learn to put the toilet seat DOWN. It's my house,and I don't want to have to cater to someone every time I need to piss.

Celtic I was all friendly to you on the other side... But, now! Uhmph!! I am a Domme .... but I do have to say Big boys can learn to put the toilet seat down as a curiosity to those they live with with or entertain....Most men learn this from their mommies! It's not a convenience thing... it's a respect thing... so Us Women don't have to touch a piss stained seat! :)

Ooo Hell.. just take the Fucker off... unbolt and remove... nothing left to fight about. How do you like me now?

Better yet, separate bathrooms. That'll solve everything. And there is no way I'm touching a piss stained seat, no matter how Domly the Dom is

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 1:24:44 AM

Level

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There's an entire thread in Off Topic about toilets, and seats.

I sometimes leave the seat up, sometimes down. This shall never change, even though the heavens and earth disappear, the seas dry up, and monkeys fly.

Down is not better than up.

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 6:45:33 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

And there is no way I'm touching a piss stained seat, no matter how Domly the Dom is

Fake.

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 7:51:58 AM

DesFIP

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticNightmare

Op-perhaps this is a little better insight.

A Dom is the sort of man who refuses to compromise his core to be with someone else.

You will depart before that does.

Not restricted to dominants.

A healthy person will not compromise their core values for anyone else allowing themselves to be made less, be damaged, be warped. The relationship will end before that happens.

In my book a good dominant is one who wants the responsibilities as much as, if not more, than the rights.

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 8:53:50 AM

Ialdabaoth

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
In my book a good dominant is one who wants the responsibilities as much as, if not more, than the rights.

This rings pretty true to me. To me, I have the responsibilities, period. Everyone's happiness and well-being is already my responsibility, by nature of the simple fact that I'm here and I can do something about it. I choose to be Dominant because it allows me to act on those responsibilities, and occasionally get my own needs met to boot.

< Message edited by Ialdabaoth -- 2/17/2010 8:54:27 AM >

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 9:10:23 AM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessEllie

...so my sleepy ass can fall in the potty (which needs cleaning).

Which needs "cleaning"... the potty, or your sleepy ass?!!

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 9:18:53 AM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

If you've ever had a child or a pet, you will understand the desire to own something, to take care of something.

To each their own... some (myself being one) would find that view of an s-type (being likened to a child/pet) rather demeaning and smacks of the D-type "Knight on a White Horse" thing. Not everyone's cup-of-tea.

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 9:29:30 AM

Justme696

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quote:

What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you?

not much. It is not a goal in life. It is just a situation I am in. ...and like.

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 9:34:02 AM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessEllie

What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you?

Someone who gets the phyical, mental, and emotional components of BDSM, who has taken their time to learn both their craft and the sub/slave they're dominating, who has proven they're capable of making the right life decisions for themselves in order to effectively lead/own another (if they're broke, they can't lead themselves, let alone another), who doesn't need a war-chest of toys, leather pants, and dark sunglasses to be (or viewed as) "dominant" (they just are), who is not veiled in the "act" of pseudo-seriousness and pseudo-dominance, or expects another's submission without earning it first through trust, honesty, and action; not just words. Someone who can be themselves, and not some internet BDSM cartoon caricature. That's a good start.

Article worth reading...

He Looks like a Dom and Quacks like a Dom, but is he really a Dom?
http://domsubfriends.com/voye/articles/105/

< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 2/17/2010 9:43:06 AM >

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 9:53:29 AM

sunshinemiss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

If you've ever had a child or a pet, you will understand the desire to own something, to take care of something.

To each their own... some (myself being one) would find that view of an s-type (being likened to a child/pet) rather demeaning and smacks of the D-type "Knight on a White Horse" thing. Not everyone's cup-of-tea.

Hello LA,
I didn't get that from Steven at all. Perhaps it is not the best analogy, but what really could be? My experience with something that is completely foreign to another person can only be compared via a pale, well, comparison. I think that is what we have here. I think it sounds extraordinary, miraculous even to be in a relationship where one is deeply cared for. I've never seen Steven be anything except fully respecting of s-types.

Best,
sunshine

*edited for clarity.

< Message edited by sunshinemiss -- 2/17/2010 9:55:44 AM >

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 10:15:52 AM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

If you've ever had a child or a pet, you will understand the desire to own something, to take care of something.

To each their own... some (myself being one) would find that view of an s-type (being likened to a child/pet) rather demeaning and smacks of the D-type "Knight on a White Horse" thing. Not everyone's cup-of-tea.

Hello LA,

I didn't get that from Steven at all. Perhaps it is not the best analogy, but what really could be? My experience with something that is completely foreign to another person can only be compared via a pale, well, comparison. I think that is what we have here. I think it sounds extraordinary, miraculous even to be in a relationship where one is deeply cared for. I've never seen Steven be anything except fully respecting of s-types.

Best,
sunshine

Hi Sunshine,

For me, it's not an issue of being "deeply cared for" or not... it's being compared to a "child". I find that view insulting. Again, for me personally. Obviously others may not share that view, and that's fine. I just hate it. No different from how some view the "s-type" as a service-object, and nothing more. Not everyone's cup-of-tea either.

< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 2/17/2010 10:16:38 AM >

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 11:49:53 AM

sunshinemiss

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Hi there LA,
I thought that might be what you were saying, but I didn't want to presume. Also, I don't know how to ask exactly what I'm thinking. It makes sense in my head, but not so much here! I understand Steven's analogy as in ... I enjoy making sure that I take the doggies for a walk even when I'm not up to it because it is my responsibility. I enjoy being a teacher and making sure my students understand the material. I enjoy caring for my plants and watching them grow and change. I saw Steven's example on the same lines more or less... although with a much greater energy, more responsibility, more ... I don't know... sumpin!

I think we both kind of get what he's saying (or at least a shadow of it)... Do you have any suggestion about what would be a better thing to use an analogy? I totally get the feeling of being insulted (and if certain other posters had said it, I too would have been insulted.). I just don't know what would express it so deeply. I mean the Goreans often talk about their s-types as cars or dogs. Other folks use horses. What could we use that expresses the sentiment without being insulting (I'm being sincere here, not snarky at all).

Best,
sunshine

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 12:45:29 PM

MasterSlaveLA

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

What could we use that expresses the sentiment without being insulting.

Under that type of dynamic? I'd think... "A deep desire to own, possess, care for, and train (to their wants/needs) the one that has given their service, submission, and surrender from a place of earned trust and love."

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RE: What does it mean to be a Dom/Master to you? - 2/17/2010 4:04:53 PM

whiteslavebitch

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticNightmare

Op-perhaps this is a little better insight.

A Dom is the sort of man who refuses to compromise his core to be with someone else.

You will depart before that does.

This pretty well describes MasterK's feelings about it.

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