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RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:04:21 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Not at all,really! I have a choice in who I choose to answer. Did you think you had some sort of inalienable entitlement to my attention? The thread is all yours!


Oh absolutely not. You choose who you want to answer to. I'm simply saying that when you alienate people, this is what happens ;-) Enjoy the results!

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to CelticNightmare)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:05:01 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alicenwondrland


So is any measure of standards then, a matter of being unreasonable, or "wrong"? 



In the op's opinion, yes, any standards expressed by a sub are unreasonable and wrong whereas only the dominants are allowed to have things that do or do not fit them.

In most people's opinion, knowing what you need and what you will not tolerate is a good thing. It saves you from getting together with people you aren't compatible with and having an unpleasant relationship filled with recriminations such as the fact that by having any hard limits you are actually topping from the bottom.

Since the rest of us are sensible people who understand that for a relationship to work, both people must be happy to us a laundry list is a good thing. If only the fact that the writing of it makes you think long and hard about what you need and what you won't deal with.

So if you want to have a relationship with the op, then you can't have needs or anything you don't want. If you want a relationship with greater chances of compatibility then do have must haves and deal breakers.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to alicenwondrland)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:05:33 PM   
alicenwondrland


Posts: 340
Joined: 2/10/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

quote:

ORIGINAL: alicenwondrland
...

WendyDarling . . . good to see you. How many accounts you gonna' go through?


Go through? Or tire of? Or start and forget I had? Oh wait did I say that out loud?

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:06:44 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:


I once left a boy (well not left left I kept an eye on him) balancing a metal bowl of ice water on his back while he was on his hands and knees on my tile floor. He could get up whenever he wanted...but no one was going to move the bowl for him...


So (clears her throat and tries to get back on topic before the Domly OP gets mad ;-) are boys with high endurance for torture on your criteria list MsBetty? Do you find that putting that there gets you the kind of partners you are looking for?

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to ourmsbetty)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:10:17 PM   
pyroaquatic


Posts: 1535
Joined: 12/4/2006
From: Pyroaquatica
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:


I once left a boy (well not left left I kept an eye on him) balancing a metal bowl of ice water on his back while he was on his hands and knees on my tile floor. He could get up whenever he wanted...but no one was going to move the bowl for him...


So (clears her throat and tries to get back on topic before the Domly OP gets mad ;-) are boys with high endurance for torture on your criteria list MsBetty? Do you find that putting that there gets you the kind of partners you are looking for?

- LA



That sounds like a great test of gross motor skills, balance, and flexibility. Failure results in putting a mop on that shopping list.


_____________________________

You are what your deep, driving desire is.
As your desire is, so is your will.
As your will is, so is your deed.
As your deed is, so is your destiny.
-Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:12:49 PM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: alicenwondrland
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
quote:

ORIGINAL: alicenwondrland
...

WendyDarling . . . good to see you. How many accounts you gonna' go through?

Go through? Or tire of? Or start and forget I had? Oh wait did I say that out loud?

So many that you forget?
You must be a hard one to keep track of.


_____________________________

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I give good thread.

(in reply to alicenwondrland)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:14:12 PM   
ourmsbetty


Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:


I once left a boy (well not left left I kept an eye on him) balancing a metal bowl of ice water on his back while he was on his hands and knees on my tile floor. He could get up whenever he wanted...but no one was going to move the bowl for him...


So (clears her throat and tries to get back on topic before the Domly OP gets mad ;-) are boys with high endurance for torture on your criteria list MsBetty? Do you find that putting that there gets you the kind of partners you are looking for?

- LA



Actually, kind of the opposite. It's not really torment if they are enjoying it.

This was a punishment. I do have it on my list that I expect someone to accept the consequences if they don't live up to my standards. And yes it does help screen out those who are unwilling to submit to discipline.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:14:16 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist


quote:

ORIGINAL: alicenwondrland
quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
quote:

ORIGINAL: alicenwondrland
...

WendyDarling . . . good to see you. How many accounts you gonna' go through?

Go through? Or tire of? Or start and forget I had? Oh wait did I say that out loud?

So many that you forget?
You must be a hard one to keep track of.



Better add a GPS to the shopping list!

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:17:44 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ourmsbetty

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:


I once left a boy (well not left left I kept an eye on him) balancing a metal bowl of ice water on his back while he was on his hands and knees on my tile floor. He could get up whenever he wanted...but no one was going to move the bowl for him...


So (clears her throat and tries to get back on topic before the Domly OP gets mad ;-) are boys with high endurance for torture on your criteria list MsBetty? Do you find that putting that there gets you the kind of partners you are looking for?

- LA



Actually, kind of the opposite. It's not really torment if they are enjoying it.

This was a punishment. I do have it on my list that I expect someone to accept the consequences if they don't live up to my standards. And yes it does help screen out those who are unwilling to submit to discipline.



Yes. That is important for the dynamic to run smoothly.

I mean, I can be flexible, like if a boy has an egg allergy, that's not going to be a deal breaker ;-)

- LA


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to ourmsbetty)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:19:38 PM   
ourmsbetty


Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

That sounds like a great test of gross motor skills, balance, and flexibility. Failure results in putting a mop on that shopping list.



It is all of those things as well as a lesson in keeping cool as short tempers tend to be something else I don't much care for. (mentioned to tie back into the topic) but they are not deal breakers as there are both kinky are real therapeutic ways of dealing with them.

(in reply to pyroaquatic)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:20:00 PM   
Wolf2Bear


Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CelticNightmare

I see a lot of people who seem to like to post a "shopping list of deal breakers and requirements" in thier profiles.

Where do you think this comes from?

Is it something that actually works?


I look at these "shopping lists" as a way to create a basis to start talking about what is acceptable and what isn't. It isn't the end all/be all to meeting someone but a starting point in communication. What works and what doesn't work depends on the other person reading the list and determining if what has been listed is an accurate reflection on the creator. What usually works is the person depicting interests which go beyond the kink, a decent indication that the person is much more than a series of bdsm activities.


_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to CelticNightmare)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:21:48 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		I don't relate to lists. I don't relate to a dynamic either. Both those terms put o fine a point on it for Me.

I relate to people. People , being who they are are flexible and changing. I would no sooner limit my choice by kink as I would by hair color.

The longer you know someone you really like, the better looking and more compatible they become.


Jeff

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:22:18 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		I hate archeology.


_____________________________



(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:22:53 PM   
HisSweetElysium


Posts: 600
Joined: 11/12/2009
Status: offline 		I kept the kink entirely off my profile when I was seeking.  What I did put on there was my likes and dislikes intellectually and in lifestyle.  I also put on there what I was looking for in a partner, and what were deal breakers for me. Most of the dealbreakers came from waiting time talking to people who decide to reveal something I find rather undesirable LATER.  Such as, they're married, older than they claim to be on their profile because "everyone does it" etc etc. 

And while I'm at it, I thought, hell, lets just cut to the chase here and state my physical preferences too. I wasted far too much time trying to dance delicately around the fact that I found someone completely repugnant physically.  Hey if we are awesomely compatible, super, we'll be friends, but someone who is not attractive to me is not going to be touching me, ever. End of discussion. 

Somehow, with this laundry list, I still had plenty of people to choose from.  I don't see anything wrong with being upfront in your preferences, if they are truly your feelings, why beat around the bush and waste people's time?


_____________________________

“This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.” Rumi

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:24:34 PM   
alicenwondrland


Posts: 340
Joined: 2/10/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: alicenwondrland
However I gotta say, for the benefit of everyone dating online, that there is more to ultimately wanting to talk on the phone and meet someone in RT besides an intelligent email writing style. We *do* have considerations and shopping lists, and they remain for a reason.

And of course this is all moot, because you have used your wendydarling profile to attack me and many other people on both sides of the site, so I would not send you the email, and if I did, you would probably respond virulently, as you had responded before.

I hope, though, that you continue posting with the tone you are using now.  If you can keep it up for a couple weeks, my prediction is that people here will be willing to forget the past.  Good luck.



Sorry did you say something to me?

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:24:43 PM   
Phoenixpower


Posts: 8098
Status: offline 		Damn and I am far too late again when all the fun is basically over

But yes of course we have shopping lists as after all even we subs and slaves have a say who we hand over the power and control...after all...we have no interest submitting to a weirdo...

and of course it does work - whilst my list disappeared (seems it was gone after 6 months or so as I can't remember to have deleted it - as quite frankly I stated in their that who does not fit the criterias mentioned won't receive a reply...therefore if he is potentially stupid enough to wait for a reply as he did not bother to read my profile...then that's his problem not mine

I love shopping lists  time to create a new one after my next trip abroad 

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:25:11 PM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Somethings go without saying..... nothing but grave robbers. Is nothing scared?!


I am not into scat............. unless the new guy shows up on Thursday

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to domiguy)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:25:24 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff


The longer you know someone you really like, the better looking and more compatible they become.


Jeff



Not necessarily. Sometimes it goes the other way.

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:25:41 PM   
ourmsbetty


Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Yes. That is important for the dynamic to run smoothly.

I mean, I can be flexible, like if a boy has an egg allergy, that's not going to be a deal breaker ;-)

- LA

[/quote]

That's a thought. Allergies, especially dangerous or common ones are important criteria for both partners to be aware of.

I have cats. I mention this clearly as one trait I am currently looking for is someone willing to take on domestic duties. If they have trouble with cats we are not going to be compatible.

One more reason lists can be useful.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: The shopping list. - 2/16/2010 7:26:24 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

I don't relate to lists. I don't relate to a dynamic either. Both those terms put o fine a point on it for Me.

I relate to people. People , being who they are are flexible and changing. I would no sooner limit my choice by kink as I would by hair color.

The longer you know someone you really like, the better looking and more compatible they become.


Jeff


I like subs that are flexible...heteroflexible. I base much solely on hair color.

Archeology is a hard limit.

I want to go back to MistressWorld.........sighssssssssssssssssssss.

_____________________________



(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 100
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